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Sunday

No Badge of Honor for the Callous Mother

She expects to be honored, but she doesn't respect others.  She assumes she will receive gifts from loved ones, yet she has stopped buying for others.  She believes herself to be a "good" woman even when she is bad.  Some mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers and others are disillusioned, ill-equipped, and downright crazy to believe that children (young or old) want anything to do with them when they have done their share of dirt to create distance.

We can pray until we are blue in the face concerning some of these mothers who may have once had wonderful relationships with children, but no more.  We can judge, condemn or ridicule children all we want, but we weren't there when a mother used, abused, and did unspeakable acts to her offspring.

As much as we would all like to believe that every mother is deserving of some badge of achievement, our Father in heaven says, "Not so."  Holidays like mother's day and others get so many Christians into trouble because they look through the lens of their personal realities rather than being compassionate and understanding of others' plights.

Some children may not have had a difficult childhood with mother but over time things changed in their relationship with their mother especially once they had children of their own.  There are those sons and daughters who are actually better people because they broke dysfunctional programming from mothers and chose to do more with their lives.  Others may have been abused mentally, physically and spiritually by mothers and so they may try very hard to make up for lost times by pleasing moms or punish them depending on how traumatic the abuse.

In the black community, most mothers are generally esteemed.  However, what tends to happen is that many individuals who are close with their mothers will attempt to encourage those who are not to reconnect or stay connected with their mothers even when it is better that people separate. 

Without educating one's self on the sensitive issues involving families, the personal challenges and more that comes with staying in contact with toxic people, the well-meaning individual could actually aid in the problems between mother and children.

Not every mother is sane, functional, and healthy emotionally or physically to take on children and grandchildren and not every mother wants a relationship with all either. 

Nicholl McGuire author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry, When Mothers Cry and other books.

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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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