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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Thursday

A Tired Black Woman

That's right I said it! I am a tired black woman. Noticed I didn't say angry. I actually got the idea from a documentary I watched weeks ago entitled, "A Diary of a Tired Black Man." In the documentary, the common question was asked, "Why are black women so angry?" Some answered because of the negative things black men do such as lie, cheat, etc. Others answered (men mind you) that black women often listen to negative influences around them such as relatives and friends. Whatever the reason some black women are angry, I can tell you from personal experience it starts from being tired just like the character in the documentary who grew more and more angry of his unappreciative spouse!

I talk about this point of being tired, because I kept hearing the same things from men who claimed they loved me, "I will take care of you. I won't let you go. I apologize I didn't mean to hurt you. Can we start over?" Alot of this sappy, "ooh baby I'm so sorry" rap came after me, being the investigative journalist that I am, finding fault with a story they told me. Doing more watching and less talking, I saw and heard things that didn't make sense. Testing whether love was really love or just lip service, I took the time to talk to my men. You see, if you are an intelligent, tired black woman, you won't just take a man's word for something, you will see if what he is saying and doing checks out. Unfortunately, in my experience, I have not been able to find a man of integrity much less intelligence.

While they are sitting back with their friends complaining about women and admiring "the playas," I was at home. That's right, at home. Intially happy and caring for the children, but then things changed. I started talking about other things we could do to make more money, to get me out the house so that I could stay happy, places we could travel, and fun things we could do...it wasn't long before the men changed, "You want to go where??? You want to do what??? That cost money...I don't like that. I think we are going in different directions." I admit I am a dreamer and a go-getter, and for some reason men want to keep me at home. I am also one of those nice-looking women too and me and insecure men just don't get along, so I have learned.

So I grew tired of the excuses and the nice way they carried themselves with everyone else outside the home, but not me. Oh, the woman down the street working at the grocery store gets a smile. The man next door gets a pound and a hug, but when I ask for a hug, one man told me, "I'm not affectionate." What?! I was stunned with this one since he didn't mind hugging and kissing me to keep from other men who would have been glad to do what he wasn't doing! Hello! Anyway, I digress. I guess as long as I have a roof over my head and food in the fridge, I was supposed to be happy! It's funny how if the shoe was on the other foot, they would expect more.

So I decided I wanted more out of my life and I guess the men that were in my life caught on and then all of sudden I noticed a change here and there and then they dropped off (I guess pretty, young women are hard work!) So I made up in my mind that I have had enough of what I have been use to old ass tired black men! I had to add old ass in there, because I have also had my share of experience with old men too! They have been there and done that and I guess they get to a place in life where there idea of a good time is to have sex every 30 plus days, sit in front of the television on weekends while nodding off, and shop for a bargain every now and then -- oh what joy!!!

I now know what I am getting in advance from a black man winking at me from a car window with some smooth talk, checking my profile online with some unoriginal line of text, or telling his friend he is going to come over and talk with me not realizing that I just saw him talking with some other woman only minutes ago...a tired black man! And this tired black woman doesn't need another one of them! We could blame our parents for telling us to stay away from the other races of people and settle for what we look like. We could blame society for not making it easy to look outside of what we are use to -- each other, but whoever we choose to blame, the truth of the matter is as long as there are tired black women, like myself, getting mixed up with tired black men -- there will never be the kind of happiness we seek from self-improvement books, in magazines, and in photos of the Obamas.

Instead, I think what we should do is separate! "Bye" tired black man! Don't come back around when I am happy with someone else and ask me, "Let's try again?" You see, I am open to other races now! You have been doing that for years, right? You and your white women LOL! Hey, I'm not mad at you, I have to do what I have to do!

Sometimes I guess we have to go through something to get to something! "So don't hate the playa, hate the game!" I don't care if I ever find another black man or any other race of a man...the truth of the matter is I don't want to be in another relationship where you and I are tired of one another. So next time, instead of passing up someone because their skin tone isn't the same or close to the same as mine, or thinking "what will momma and 'em think..." I will just do me!

Written by Nicholl McGuire, A Tired Black Woman in Recovery

Tuesday

Black People Are So Sensitive! Why We Should Hold Us Accountable

Over the years I have heard white people describe blacks as being sensitive. I have been approached by whites asking me why are blacks so sensitive as if I am the ambassador for why some black women cop attitudes, and black men threaten to kill someone for calling them a n*gger! I can't speak for all blacks, nor do I want to but I will say in my experience having to deal with some of my fellow sisters and brothas personally and professionally there is an "attitude."

Now I am not saying that white people don't have their share of attitudes, because I have had to deal with that too, but this site is about African American issues so I will stick with what I know that I know. You see at times, blacks don't know how to have an attitude with a grin. They don't know how to type a professional letter loaded with sugar asking for what they want. Some are all too ready to jump in someone's face or type a quick insulting email; rather than take care of business. Meanwhile, they still hope to get the results they are seeking, even after they are exposed for their ignorance, written up on their job, or some other negative problem befalls them. Why would anyone want to do business with foolishness? When things don't go their way, they resort to "the blame everyone else" mentality. "It's just the devil getting in the way of my plans...I know it's because of the color of my skin...She's jealous...He never did like me," even if there was some truth to that argument, who is really to blame? In other words, could it have been your attitude, the lack of detail in your response, the fact that you are not on their level mentally, or something else? Here's another popular quote I hear when people use "the blame everyone else" mentality, "I wouldn't be acting like this...if it wasn't for him/her." Really?! You sure about that, I can almost bet a person with this kind of mentality lives in a house where people say, "You always want to be right, don't you? Why am I always to blame? Why don't you apologize sometimes for what you do wrong?"

What is it about asking blacks in leadership questions or holding blacks accountable in business that some have to resort to an "attitude?" For example, I wanted to know where my money was going if I donated to a certain event after receiving an email asking me for money, what would be expected of me since they needed volunteers, who would be handling my money, etc. The response I received was shocking, I guess it was because I chose to share public information which included the responders very public attitude (I guess she didn't think I would expose her like I did.) Well of course, she would accuse me of being negative, jealous, attack her, etc. I guess in her haste to ask people for money, she forgot that some people would question her and this "we" group she often referred to.

Some blacks choose to tell the end of the story when they are selling you on their ideas, rather than sharing the details of the business plan that is going to get you there. Let me provide you with a few examples. I remember one day I was walking toward a grocery store and an African American man started running his mouth about collecting money for a charity and how great it was for the children. He never said the name of the charity and never bothered to hand me information about it. All he had in his hands was some candy and some droplets of spit coming from a fast moving tongue. So I am supposed to be gullible enough to hand him some of my hard-earned money toward something I know nothing about. Here's another example. For years I have heard brothers tell me they were working in the studio and they would be "dropping an album," well it sounds good what they are telling me. Sometimes the album makes it to the store, but most often it doesn't. Along the way, someone has forgotten about the marketing plan. Yet, I am expected to give money just because. Listen, whether it is $5 or $30,000, like the rapper 50cent told his contestants on his past reality show, "I need to know what you are going to do with my money!" It's funny some blacks won't hesitate to give the white man a neatly, organized, business plan and a well-thought out answer when asked, but us, we get vague details, unanswered questions, disrespect, but you want someone's time, talents, money, etc. As my mother says, "N*gga please!"

So now you have called this unprofessional, disorganized African American out on their bs (while your friends say, "well the brotha or sista is trying," but your friends aren't investing too much of anything while their talking though.) So what do unprofessional, disorganized, highly sensitive black people do? They resort to the race card, name-call, make false accusations like calling other blacks sell outs (I wonder how many blacks accused President Barack Obama of that before he came to office), jealous, or some other put down. They rally up some supporters who agree with them, at least to their face, that you are a troublemaker, negative, etc. Then there is always one or two ignorant blacks or those with a special interest in mind (usually having something to do with money), come into the dispute as false peacemakers. "Why can't everyone get along!" Oblivious to the negative spin attempted to quiet you for sounding the alarm or making them work, the ignorant black will say, "Yeah why are you being petty? Why you troublemaking?" I can't help but think is that how our ancestors were treated when they opened their mouths and questioned authority? I could hear the cowardly negroes say, "Now just be quiet. We eating real good. Don't make masta' beat us! With all your trouble-making...Shhh!" Go along just to get along!

I was encouraged to write about this topic after seeing enough examples around me of blacks wanting to do business without a license, collect donations for causes without details, name drop without wisdom, market their social networking pages without a plan (like requesting friendship without introducing themselves,) and so on. Why should anyone offer a service, money, time, eyes, contacts, friendship or anything else when the writing is on the wall, "Be discerning when allowing this person into your life." So I call people out, more specifically the African American populace, I admit it, because I am in the process of selecting who I want to take with me on my ride of life. My days are numbered just like yours.

Like President Barack Obama stated in past speeches, "Change begins with you." Obama didn't get to where he is in life simply by going along to get along especially when people are doing things that they may have never been questioned about before (ie. wasteful spending.) I'm not interested in favor with everyone. If the truth is going to hurt someone while provoking change well I'm all for it. I come from a long line of strict teachers and I can't help but treat others like I have been treated and hold people accountable. I thank God for the School of Hard Knox!

Some of these disgruntled, stressed out black folks need to avoid getting a job in customer service, seriously! I'm tired of seeing the frown and the crinkle in someone's forehead while they are looking a customer up and down behind their back. I know you saw or met these people I'm describing somewhere and they act as if they are the nicest people to your face until there is a problem then their whole facial expression changes, the body language becomes defensive, "What ya asking me for? That's not how we do it. Save your questions for after the meeting!" The movies aren't that far off from the truth. We see the same character played over and over again. He or she is usually working behind a fast food counter or talking over the phone, cussing, fussing, gossiping, name-calling, you name it, all because of one thing, he or she can't handle the truth!

So the next time you have to deal with a stubborn, neck-rolling, eye-popping, finger snapping, bossy, highly sensitive woman or man (or shall I say girl or boy), make them accountable. Loose lips, do sink ships! Sometimes our people just want the title in front of their name, but forget what they will have to endure to earn the title.

Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com

Monday

The Funny Black Man, The Funny Black Woman

You may have been there in the room amongst races of people who found you to be "the funny one." You may have moved up in your job because of your sense of humor or made other races like you because "you are so funny!" Well sometimes your jokes aren't always funny to other races and may appear strange, weird, or downright offensive to them. What is your plan B when you aren't the funny black guy or gal in the office anymore?

I think about some of the movies that the critics rate with an all black cast and how they don't usually rate them very high even though we may thoroughly enjoy them. It's obvious that what we find humorous isn't that funny to them and vice versa. Yet, there are African Americans who will take that chance in an office environment, at a restaurant, or on the street to make people laugh just to fit in. But when the applause stops, what else can you do? Wouldn't it have been wiser to get your foot in the door by being an educated black man or woman like dare I say it, Barack Obama. You see, you might as well get prepared for the comparison, because those folks you may have been entertaining for years, want to know "Are you anything like Barack Obama, Do you have relatives like Barack Obama," or better yet, "Can you tell Barack Obama jokes?"

It is upsetting to see so many shows of other races on television still corny and just plain stupid as those that have came before them! But many African Americans will give them more support than the African American sitcoms. Even if the African American sitcoms fail in story plot or character selection, why aren't viewers stepping up to the plate with ideas, assistance, and financial support? These have been long-standing issues in the African American community.

So what is plan B for the funny black man or woman at the office or on television when their show is cancelled? Do you find new material, create a different image, or build your net worth by doing something else? Sometimes being funny just isn't funny anymore.

Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com

Tuesday

The African Decor Influence: How African Decor Inspires Other Style Trends

African decor continues to fuel patterns, styles and designs of interior fashion throughout the world. Year after year the continent of African continues as one of the world's largest resources of new home decor ideas. The exotic design motifs has the benefit of complimenting almost any room atmosphere or environment. Multitudes of designers use it to create rooms of spice, excitement and pizzazz to a relaxing room filled with tranquility, peace and calm. The only limit to your mood? Your imagination.

You can confidently use it as the dominant theme for a room ,or as a bold accent piece to add excitement to a dull space. African home decor celebrates its appeal by adapting to large mansion-like rooms to a cramped single apartment. Whatever your bank account, there's a unique accent piece just right for you.

For instance, In days gone by African art sat idly in stuffy museums throughout the world. Now more people find they can give a cultural lift to their home, office, or apartment - without adding a sense or feel of stuffiness. The visual impact of Africa themed decor continues slowly impacting more home interiors each day. As a result, African home accessories continue growing toward more mainstream home designers and interior decorators. Many use the colors, textures, patterns and designs to create their own styles and moods.

You'll often find the African inspired styles reflected in more contemporary design choices. More elements continue to expand and cross into other interior styles, cultures, and themes as a result. Whether it's the fabrics, the materials, or the hand-made craftsmanship, African interior design tastefully mixes creativity with centuries of culture and history.

The quiet spiritual connection to the continent remains a popular theme of people who favor African decor more and more. "The style quietly grows on you ", said one converted shopper and collector. That's the feeling of a growing number of people across the globe.

Most of the craftsmen and women who fashion African decor view their skills and talents one-way. They see it not just as a commercial endeavor or idle hobby of leisure, but as a spiritual endeavor and life's mission or purpose. Because of this commitment they patiently work to fashion the wooden sculpture, the figurine, weave the colorful basket or any other piece to reflect their pride and mastery to the world.

The rich culture of Africa home accents comes from proud generations of people. These working people take the spirit of nature contained in the wood, clay, stone, metal and other natural materials. Next they give back by chiseling, crafting , and polishing beauty from the piece of wood, clay, stone, metal or other natural material they've taken.

It's predicted more will grow to appreciate and use the exotic interior themes and elements to enhance a space or room in their home. More interior designers will continue to receive inspiration and adapt many of the patterns, designs and textures to the growing consumer demand of African decor.

About the Author
Roy Primm has written dozens of articles on the power of African home decor.

Famous African American Women Inventors

Science is generally viewed as a men's world. Females are rarely found tinkering around the laboratory or handling mechanical devices, much less inventing one and having it patented under their name. Patents are the proof of "ownership" of an invention and only the inventor(s) can apply for a patent. In the past, women were not allowed equal rights of property ownership (patents are a form of intellectual property) and many women patented their inventions under their husband's or father's names. In the past, women were also prevented from receiving the higher education necessary for inventing. Today, however, hundreds of thousands of women apply for and receive a patent every year. About 20% of all inventors are currently female and that number should quickly rise to 50% over the next generation.

Among these women inventors from the past to the present, there are African American women inventors. Their number, however, can not be exactly determined. According to EnchantedLearning.com, Sarah S. Goode was the first African American woman to have received a patent in 1885 (patent #322,177, approved on July 14, 1885). She invented the folding cabinet bed, a space-saver that folded up against the wall into a cabinet. When folded up, it could be used as a desk, complete with compartments for stationery and writing supplies. Goode owned a furniture store in Chicago, Illinois, and invented the bed for people living in small apartments.

The second African American woman to receive a patent was Miriam Benjamin who was a Washington D.C. school teacher. She received a patent in July 17, 1888 for an invention she called a "Gong and Signal Chair for Hotels". Her invention allowed hotel customers to summon a waiter from the comfort of their chair. A button on the chair would buzz the waiters' station and a light on the chair would let the wait staff know who wanted service. Miriam Benjamin's invention was adapted and used in the United States House of Representatives.

On April 26, 1892, Sarah Boone's received a patent (U.S. Patent #473,653) for an improvement to the ironing board. Sarah Boone's ironing board was designed to be effective in ironing the sleeves and bodies of ladies' garments. Sarah Boone's board was very narrow and curved, the size and fit of a sleeve, and it was reversible, making it easy to iron both sides of a sleeve.

Perhaps the most famous African American woman inventor of all time is Madame C. J. Walker (December 23, 1867 - May 25, 1919). She was an inventor, businesswoman and self-made millionaire. Born Sarah Breedlove McWilliams C. J. Walker, she was an African-American who developed many beauty and hair care products that were extremely popular. Madame Walker started her cosmetics business in 1905. Her first product was a scalp treatment that used petroleum and a hot comb. Sarah later invented a system for straightening hair. She added Madame to her name and began selling her new "Walker System" door-to-door. Walker soon added a hair-growing ointment and other cosmetic products to her line. The products were very successful and she soon had many saleswomen, called "Walker Agents," who sold her products door to door.

Many of these women grew up in a time when females and colored people were discriminated against. Their social status may have prevented them from getting an education but this did not stop them from exploring their world and finding ingenious solutions to everyday problems. Their innate intelligence and determination had brought them their personal triumph over adversity. Their inventions may not have survived into the 21st century and yet their pioneering spirit will live on in the present generation of women working in the fields of science and technology.

About the Author
Claire Bretana is the technical webmaster of http://www.goafrican.com/, a site created for African American culture, history, lifestyle, and relationships with links to online products and other African American websites.

Black Single Women & Males at Free Black Dating Services

We have seen too many black single women and males online at free black dating services. Thousands of black relationships and love are created from these free black dating sites. Seeking black singles online is easy to anybody today because we are living in this computer day. Black single women seeking black single males online are common in recent years. Some free black online dating services allow guests to search for any profile. When you decide to contact with any single woman or single man, you must be logged in. It means that you need to have a profile to contact other singles. Members should create a good detailed personal ad. You also need to upload your pictures.

When you search for other members, you would prefer to search for profiles with photos. Other single black people will do the same thing. In order to get contacted from other members, then you need to have a photo attached with your profile. Looking for black dates at free black dating sites is easy. All you have to do is to join these totally free black dating services. Looking for a date at the bars or nightclubs is traditional, which does not work out well. If it works, then it is just for short term. Online black dating services offer the means to find long term compatible relationships. Think about it this way, know exactly who you contact with after you read that person in detailed. You know what that person matches with you.

At the bars, you do not know anything about a single person you contact with, only the outlook. The inside beauty is more important. Long term relationships created by the inside beauty, not outlook. So, single black people meet each other online. After they know exactly the person they like, they will meet in face to face. Single black people seeking Internet dates at free black dating services have been spreading globally. Because of its convenience, singles can find a date for just a few simple clicks. Black singles save a lot of money and time when looking for love online. In the recent years, there are more single black males and black women registered their personal ads at these dating online services.

The main point is that black singles want to find a date online. You know for sure that these black singles who registered their personal ads at these free black dating services are available for a relationship. They are looking for dates. Can you flirt with someone you meet at the market or shopping center? The answer is no. The main reason is that you do not know if this person is single or not. That is why there are single black women looking for black men and black men seeking women at these black dating sites. Black dating singles should join free dating services to find love and romance online. Million of black online singles are waiting their partners. You need to join these totally free black dating services to meet that special dream mate.

Find thousands Black singles at Black dating sites for free Please visit free Black dating services to find a dream mate Single Black women and males are waiting for their partners Join us today

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