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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


The Black Man with Money: one of the most coveted men on the face of the earth

We have seen all-too-frequently in the American media successful rich, black males walking and talking with non-black women and appearing to get along with them too.  It's as if the media is telling the world, "Black women are not the women you want to be seen with once you are making a six figure salary."  Thank God for a positive impression of the first family over the years!  A man with money is in demand in a down economy, and for the black man, he is a diamond in the rough.  So he knows that it isn't difficult to find a replacement when a black or non-black woman just isn't liking or loving him like she should.

Could it be that many women, black and otherwise, are told from the time they are able to understand the difference between a boy and a man that, "A man with money is what you want in this life not a poor, broke boy."  So these poor girls grow up to become money hungry women who seek after men who are wealthy, so much in fact, that it puts off rich men?  But a woman who is use to being around the Haves rather than the Have-nots knows how to put her greed for money in check.  The black man who has already been programmed to believe that having a non-black woman on his arm is the way to go will believe that she is looking out for his best interests when in fact she is looking out for her own while his black woman from yesteryear stands afar wishing she had that man with money.  Does love really have anything to do with financially wealthy relationships?

The way I see it, black or non-black, a woman who loves money more than sex is a head case waiting to erupt once the money is no more.  She is ready for separation then divorce.  The black man with what little money is left from his fortune is going to pay for his freedom while his people will be whispering, "He should have left that money hungry woman alone."  He may start dating his own kind for awhile, but then when the time comes that he is after more financial gain he will partner with those who he thinks can help him--those who happen to be everything but black.  This man with money, that some black women just pray to their gods for, doesn't come into their lives without a price. The women have to give up something to get something. The men may not be interested in loving these women, but more concerned about getting from them. She may be a good helpmate to him--doing everything he asks, very attractive--fulfilling his sexual fantasies, and come from wealth as well, but she must also be the submissive type and know when to fall back and let her man shine. Most people know that in the black community outspoken, independent types are not going to sit in the back of anywhere without much coaxing, swindling, and of course money talk! The man with money knows how to pay off his women to keep quiet at least for a time.

There are many, many blacks making less than six figures in our society which means it is less likely that wealthy blacks will entrust their finances to those who look like them. Even if there were many more rich blacks than impoverished ones, the majority of wealthy, educated blacks wouldn't stick it out with one another. Why?  Because as long as there are susceptible minds to media brainwashing and educational studies that persuade blacks to try something different along with an innate desire to date interracially--thanks to all the intermixing between ethnicities, there will always be someone, somewhere in love with someone else who doesn't have a similar skin tone.  Now if the black man is distracted with someone who isn't from his neighborhood, reminds him of no one in his family, and knows how to spend up his money better than he, then this man is less likely to want to go back to his hometown and partner with fellow businessmen and women to build up the community and his childhood family.  White power structures know this and that's why they don't mind sacrificing their sex kittens who are at the bottom of their pyramid structures.  Just imagine what the world might look like with many more rich, selfish black men?  Now imagine what the world would look like with more generous, wealthy African American men?  It even sounds different, now doesn't it?

Oh, the black man with money is a man that is needed everywhere, but he isn't permitted to go everywhere.  His allegiance to his fraternal and civic groups won't let him give back to any association of his choosing--notice another distraction.  His dues, tithes, donations, and bills must stay loyal even when his feet have done some walking.  Even his own relatives and friends can tie his money up in such a way that he doesn't bother to give to any extended loved ones no matter how much they could use the assistance. 

The powers that be know how to get him and his family to stay committed--now don't they?  The rich, black man has very little time to help those who are truly in need.  There is no 1% donation given to the real needy people and the rest to administrative costs when they are standing right in front of his face.  But those around him, will strategically move him away from those who really need him.  "You have this project to need to be at this event...we need for you to be at your photo shoot...there is a talk show host who is interested in interviewing  you..."  When is enough, enough!  Book him, poke him, prod him, and then fork him when he can't deliver anymore!  Meanwhile, tell him where he should spend his money on yet more overpriced, overhyped, designer products so that he uses them all up and has no choice but to continue to work long hours to maintain an A-list lifestyle that will soon come to an end when he is no longer hot. 

An idle mind coupled with an aging body might start exposing secrets, so his handlers want this rich, black man to keep working until he dies, get married for a time, have a baby, and then lose it all when he is hot again. No time for a family when he is a man with money!  So for those who hope to land "a good man with money" one day, recognize that he had to give up a lot to get what he has and the wife who enjoys the fruits of his labor had to earn every penny--she had to put up, put out, put off, and do some things that most so-called strong black women wouldn't do. And one final note, just because you might have someone in your circle with money doesn't mean that they will love or even like you as you may have already discovered--money has a way of changing people.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog about various dating and relationship trials and triumphs here.

Nicholl has authored the following books:
Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
When Mothers Cry
Laboring to Love Myself
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl





Still Holding a Special Place in Your Heart for the Pimp

Oh, the memories!  Sitting back in your easy chair or seated on a sofa, you are channel surfing.  You come across an old film with a black man decorated in a brightly colored suit with a matching hat and a feather sticking out the top.  You think of Robin Hood briefly when you look at his hat--stealing from the rich to give to the poor.  (Oh, you fed right into the marketers' schemes with that one.)  The handsome black man wears boots with a heel which makes him appear a little taller than he is and a little softer than he looks with his button down shirt.  It's like he has the appeal of both sexes. (Once again, the marketers got you!)  He actually looks fit, better looking than you.  (You will be looking more closely at what he has so that you can spend your money on some old back in the day stuff--they got you again!)  Walking down the street with two seductively dressed women, the pimp has one white with straight, blond hair and one dark skin with black, curly hair on his arms.  They are all headed to a large automobile called a Cadillac--it's long, real long. (How many folks who had some money in your family owned a Cadillac?  The car dealership drained their wallets for years on a car that they most likely didn't get pay off before having an accident.)  The front hood is large enough to lay a few bodies on it and the trunk big enough to put a few dead ones in it. 

While watching a scene on TV similar to the one described in real life, you look over at your older relative, the one who use to know a pimp or two from the '70s, and he has a stupid grin on his face with eyes glued on the screen.  The only smile you have seen on his face all day.  Yeah, he's across the room re-living his youth admiring a pimp, now re-read that last line.  It's not a doctor, scholar, lawyer, teacher, preacher, fellow father, or even his own daddy that generates such warm emotions inside, it's a pimp!  A man who gets his income from putting women out on street corners and everywhere else to sell sex.  An unrighteous man is glorified for his power, fame and money in the 'hood.   

Now let's just take a moment and blow that old school image of a pimp up--an archetype that has old fools acting like young pimps nowadays!  Meanwhile, the marketing masterminds behind the scenes pimp the pimp, "Go get our money b*tch or else!"  Now before you instruct me to watch my mouth, I could direct you to a few shows that ain't right from preacher pimps to baby daddy pimps and some of ya'll just love 'em, but I don't want to give them no more airtime then they have already received, now back to the pimped pimp who, like a wolf, comes in sheep's clothing with all his smooth talk, his crafty walk, kissing babies, sexing the ladies, making promises, and telling everyone, "You crazy, but I love you baby."  Who could be mad at a nice pimp with a seemingly generous spirit about himself?  But the discerning know better.  Grandma use to take one long look at a few of my admirers back in the day and say, "Now that one there, he's full of sh*t!  And that other one is no good!  And could you have done better, he got some money?!"

A created character from way back when amplified by mass media, the pimp was like a puppet on strings for the government.  And although he doesn't look like his past, the pimp still walks amongst us. A little more smarter these days because he completed highschool or maybe graduated from college, he can still get into places that the boys in blue can't and don't want to either.  His yesteryear wardrobe was emulated by many dumb, ignorant or bored black men who were nothing more than walking targets that wore signs when they put on his attire, "I perform illegal services for the community! Take me off to jail."  You couldn't miss them with all their bright colors. 

Black folks back in the day, and blacks folks now, just don't think before they put on the clothing that is being directly marketed to them.  Ask yourself this, "What are the designers that are splattered all over my shirts, pants, purses, wallets, shoes, and other things really representing?  Am I someone's walking target?"  Let's think long and hard about the ghetto wisdom I am sharing today.  If you lived in a community of lack and you didn't have much going on besides a little sex here and there and a paycheck every two weeks, would the pimp be your form of escape from a dead end lifestyle?  Could he move on your mind to want to try new things including white women? 

Some of the black men were programmed by their so-called harmless TVs from the time they could watch TV.  They were told by the pimp, "It's okay playa, you can have at least one white woman on your arm in your lifetime.  Uncle Charlie won't hang you, you dig?"  And that one, Snow White, could care less about her pimp, she was working out deals with non-blacks who wanted to see him go down! As long as Snow White's people accepted her back home, she always had a place of shelter. She was used until she couldn't be used no more for a bit of information about those criminally minded black folks in the hood and in corporate America.  Meanwhile, Chocolate Drop would warn the pimp about Snow White until she grew weary of not being heard, the once loyal worker would eventually turn on him like a snake. 

Snow White knew how to draw her pimp to The Man like a fish to a worm, it was too easy to be trusted, thanks to television programming.  But when that hoe was all used up, she was reminded that when she started the mission she was white trash and when her job was complete she was white trash!  Now stop for a moment, and think about some of these so-called relationships that are obviously not working, but seem to drag on, someone ain't it for just the cream, that's for sure.  No respectable white man back in the '70s or even those today, who aren't fond of black folks, would even think about taking a black man's sloppy seconds, but a pimp will try anything at least once--just so long as it makes him money.

I will be the first to admit the pimp has a charming appeal.  When I was born into this wicked world made up of male and female pimps, players and hustlers in the '70s, not only did I see pimps on TV, but in person too with their hats on and with their hats off later in life.  Back then, a little girl with wide eyes, I was curious about the pimp, but not enough to be one of his hoes.  But what I didn't plan on was all the programmed wannabe pimps in the world who glorified his lifestyle.  These copycats were actors, average men with average lifestyles wishing to pimp a young lady out.  But as I grew older, I recognized the farce in yet another created caricature for blacks.  One more thing to distract us from the spiritual power within.  A black man can't hear his inner oracle when he is being pimped by the pimp.  The pimp can't hear or see his hoes for who they really are, another man's daughters, because he is too busy being pimped by the ones who created him.  Think of other examples where this idealology plays a part.  The worker and the manager, the wife and the husband, and the business man and his partners, get the picture.  Pimps are everywhere folks!

A pimp is nothing more than a slave dressed in someone else's clown suit whether it is all decorated up with a tilted matching hat (notice his creators didn't dress him up in any respectable attire) or worn with a hood and sagging pants.  A truly spiritually changed black man would think twice before admiring or acting like a pimp.  If you trust your Holy Bible, Koran or whatever it is that you read for spiritual nourishment, then the wise words in it should be something that takes the pimp out of that head game he likes to play with the unenlightened ones. But those who could careless, continue to perpetuate the pimp archetype.

My brothers and sisters, this pimp mentality issue is a matter of the heart for some of you.  No more warm, fuzzy feelings for the pimp.  Turn shows off with him in it.  Don't even sit with any man who wishes for the days when men slapped their women around.  Avoid encouraging the ungodly men in your family to "...tell that story when you had all those women...and that one did..."  Meanwhile, his wife is seated in the next room, have some respect!

Ask your God to change your mindset and those around you concerning the Pimp.

Rest in peace, to all those who thought big pimpin' was all 'dat!

Nicholl McGuire


How Celebrities Influence Your Personal Relationship

Picture a seductively dressed performer on stage. She is pulsating, gyrating, ready to take all viewers on a fantasy ride. But some viewers aren’t tempted by the sexy adulteress, to them, it’s just another troubled, pretty face needing some attention, so they change the television channel. Entertainers know exactly what they are doing! They need your financial support while a partner in the next room desires a quality relationship.

But for many couples the distractions of celebrity movies, mayhem, music, sporting events and more is taking what little free time one has during the day away from what really matters and that is family. Starting with the couple who sits apart from one another to watch yet again a movie he or she has seen before. Whether this couple hopes to stir up romantic feelings, relax, or to escape problems of the day via the entertainment they are watching, what their minds might take in maybe anything from thoughts of cheating to acts of violence. As much as one might deny celebrities’ impact on the masses, it is there! People are just that weak-minded to wish, hope, pray, and worry about their relationships based on what they have seen, heard, or read about as a result of what a celebrity is doing or saying. The subconscious mind embraces the story that he or she witnesses and processes it so that it is acceptable to one’s situation. A husband is acting distant, a viewer will relate to a story about a cheating spouse, even if the one he or she is with is not cheating, but personal feelings of inadequacy, rejection and more will be drawn out of the one watching the movie play out.

Think of a time when you couldn’t sleep, so you go to your computer. The thought doesn’t cross your mind to go to your partner for a little conversation and love-making because he or she might be sleep or busy with activities. So you let the Internet bring some calm to a nagging feeling of wanting to be physically intimate. You sit in front of the computer screen and listen to your favorite musician croon or a beloved actress love-make in a movie. A singer and his or her music video of semi–nude dancers is also entertaining. Everyone is beautiful to view. The story theme seems interesting too. One music video goes off then another comes on and before yo know it, most of the night has passed by. You go to your room only to pick up a music player to help lull you to sleep.

After a long night of star gazing, you awake tired and irritable. Songs play in your head throughout the day. You have a headache and a heartache because movies and songs have triggered emotions within that you rather not face regarding a partner.

Some celebrity fans are carrying around their idols in their minds and actions! Many are guilty of bringing so-called harmless fantasies to be with them. They envision what a future might look like being married to celebrities, having sex, or traveling with them.

Beautiful people, songs, and scenery lure us away from ugly realities. We allow television, music lyrics, and others’ reactions to influence our views on love, marriage, sex, communication, money, and more. We think that our thoughts are our own, but are they?

When was the last time you saw something on TV that gave you the idea to do the same thing or something similar for your partner? When was the last time you saw a romantic movie or drama about a couple and you thought to yourself, “I wish we could have a relationship like them?” You may have even wished that the star of the movie was your partner!

Listen to the latest R&B, pop, or country song long enough and you will begin to think things about your relationship you may have never thought about. “I wonder if my man is doing the same thing? If I ever catch him doing something, I will…She has been talking to my boy a lot lately…I wonder what she sees in me?” We allow negative thoughts to take center stage in our lives just by listening to far too much negative lyrical content. We allowed someone access to our minds. Would they be shocked at how much celebrity influence affects our daily decision-making?

Now some of us are just not that shallow minded to allow a stranger to have that kind of hold on our minds, or are we? Think back to those moments when you were a teen listening to music. Remember those images of entertainers you may have hung on you bedroom wall or kept in a scrapbook? Did you keep a extensive music collection of your favorite entertainers? How might your favorite singers, impacted your memories? If you say, “They didn’t have no bearing on my life decisions.” I would have to challenge you to pull out those oldies and play them. Almost immediately, you will be taken back to a past memory. While the music played you may have said or did something that indirectly connected your feelings to a song. The music triggers past emotions that stick with us for a lifetime; therefore, the music influences us to some degree.

We connect entertainers to our lives. Some of us do it subtly, others are quite bold about it. They may dress a certain way, choose a make-up, or perfume because an entertainer marketed it. Somehow the mind reasons, “This will make my man look twice…this will get her in the mood.” There is nothing wrong with bettering yourself as a result of what a favorite celebrity tells you, but there is a problem when we allow that celebrity to get in our minds, in our hearts and eventually in the bed with us. Once we do that, we send mixed messages to our partners. Today, we are feeling and looking sexy like a model on the cover of a magazine, tomorrow we are torn between loves like an actress in a drama and by the end of the week we are holding hands and kissing our partner like characters in a favorite romantic comedy. It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions isn’t it? Too much star gazing will do just that!

Nicholl McGuire, author, blogger, speaker and Internet content producer.  Her latest self-published poetry book is here.



Poem: I'm Not Going to Tell You that I Like You

I'm not going to tell you that I like you when I don't.
Some blacks like to talk loud, they flaunt.

I'm not going to say that I will pray, when I won't.
Some blacks like to cry, lie and taunt.

You see, if you were me, and I were you,
you would be saying, "Don't do...don't do."

But sometimes the more you hold back,
the more you lack.
Maybe that's why I have yet to get my stack.

I saw a half moon one day,
told myself, "Half crazy today."

Out of my mind for settling down with fools,
don't look beyond what was taught in schools.

I tried real hard to like so many people I met,
but then I couldn't keep still, started to fret.

Silly conversation doesn't hold my attention for long,
I start listening to what's in my mind, a song.

Found many ways to push back the noise,
learned a few things from my little boys.

When they don't like you, they don't know you.
When they don't want to hear,
they ignore without fear.

They go about their days, stay happy and nappy.
Don't worry about grandmama or pappy.

They don't tell you they like you,
when they know they don't,
and they give no promises,
because they know they won't.

Nicholl McGuire

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