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Sunday

When the So-Called Good Black Man Thinks He is God's Gift

If you were to take the time to sit amongst women talking about their black men, there will always be one in the group who will heat up the conversation with her negative comments about "all" black men.  Now let's be honest, there are bad black men, but there are also good black men as well.

The bitter black woman's experience with some black men was negative and most likely her friends in the group will add to the pile of "no good, black men" stories as well.  But there are those "good," black men, and then there are those so-called good, black men that are nothing more than men who want to be appreciated for all that they do just because they have never went to jail, ran out on their baby's mama, and keep a good job.  However, what makes these men so-called good and not simply good is that they have bad attitudes and are emotionally unavailable (because there mind is often swimming in the past or focused on haves and have-nots) while their wives and children suffer mentally and sometimes physically.

You can't leave black men out of these sistah circle chats, sometimes there are those one or two who can't help but add their two cents worth about how they are the exception.  "I am a good, black man!" he says.  "That's right and I am too!" his friend chimes in.  "I don't know what you ladies' experiences have been like with other black men, but I know I take good care of my woman!"  That's great to hear and God bless him, but there are those who believe that they are the best thing since sliced bread.  These so-called good ,black men are the ones who yell, "You better appreciate me, because there isn't that many of us!"  Pride always comes before a fall.

Sure, there is a little good everywhere and it doesn't only come in black while the good ,black man boasts to his woman and friends.  You see, for decades I have been noticing this braggadocios behavior amongst some of our black men.  It isn't a humble attitude from the so-called good, black man.  Instead, it is one that says, "You better be grateful black woman I even bother staying with you and these kids!  I know I am a good man because I come home every night.  That's right acknowledge me for Father's Day, because I could have left my kids with their mama!"  We know that there are those men that have ran off:  cheated, lied, stole money and even murdered their brother and so yes as black women, we should be thanking God for the good men that don't do these things.  However, this attitude that screams, "Be grateful or else..."  Maybe a sister should be the one running away this time.

No one should have to put up with a pompous, arrogant man who believes that he should be placed on a pedestal for doing something that he should be doing anyway--like taking care of his family.  Yet, I can't fault the so-called good, black man completely, because sometimes as women, we create this monster with all our praise.  We say things like, "Oh baby, I love you so much and I am so glad you are not like so and so...If it weren't for you, who knows where I would be....You are the best I ever had....You are a gift from God..."  It isn't any wonder that this arrogant, black man walks around thinking he is God's gift.  How much you want to bet he isn't saying all that about his woman?

Some of us need to slow down with all the praise and celebration when it comes to so-called good, black men while others need to stop bragging about "how good I am..."  Last, I checked, no man (or woman) walking on this earth is good, that's why we need Jesus!

Nicholl McGuire

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