You Got Played by The Cheap, Selfish Hustler

From relationships to the church board room, the cheap, selfish hustler type is always looking for a way to financially increase, delegate responsibilities, and do whatever else to "save me some money and time." 

So who is this cheap, selfish hustler and why bother talking about him or her?  This frugal man or woman who cares much about meeting his or her needs on the backs of others is someone worth mentioning, because he or she is at work right now playing your daughter, cousin, or someone else you care about.  Sometimes we forget what we have been through or done back in the day that we forget about the wolves who are on the prowl.  So keep reading.

This cheap, selfish hustler was born out of lack.  Basic needs unmet, mental handicaps, physical disabilities, and other issues and no one seems to care.   Someone could be raising a son or daughter right now to be the next hustler.  Momma and daddy usually couldn't buy what he or she wanted when this person needed it, so he or she suffered.  The future hustler's requests for basic things were often rejected--we aren't talking about video games, TVS and mp4 players either! 

Parents were often controlling and the child was most likely often in competition with siblings because "Momma favored So and So."  This hurt child, later turned hustler, learned quickly how to get over on the gullible, take from the trusting, and hurt those who hurt him or her in subtle ways whether verbally or physically.  Often emotionally wounded, impovershied children with displaced anger grow up to be conninving, selfish, and frugal.  If you don't believe this, just look at some of the troubled children around you and ask them, "What is it that momma and daddy isn't doing for you?  How do they treat your siblings as compared to you?  What is it that hurts you deep inside?" 

There is a nagging feeling in the pit of a hustler's stomach or a pain in his or her head when he or she has to fork over time or money to help someone else other than self, because it just took too long to get what little they got--they had to jump through hoops to finally get it and now one is asking them to share?  You are asking too much.

Oh yes, the cheap, selfish hustler can be male or female, rich or poor, black or white, young or old, saintly or devilish.  He or she has more plans up his or her sleeves to get over while looking good in the eyes of others.  "How can I get a deal on that...I'm not paying that price.  Maybe I can get it for free," he or she thinks.  When no one is around to spy on this manipulator, he or she sits back and contemplates on his or her next move to "get out, get over, or get on" while looking honest and carrying no blame for the conflict.  The hustler doesn't want to have to do too much of anything but joke a little, tell a good story, and possibly offer something that isn't worth much. 

The professional hustler is looking for ways to impress the boss, the wife, the children, the mistress--whoever.  He knows how to use words to get what he wants, then eventually when he has used other things, most people around him or her are trapped in his web like a fly trying to get away from a spider.  Before they know it, they are ate up from all the game playing--trying to stay one step ahead--that is if they ever realize the hustler has been playing them in the first place.

The street hustler is looking for ways to get you to hand over whatever material possession you have and when you do, it's on to the next one.  "But what about what he said and what he is going to do for me?"  the gullible are left standing there with an empty bank account and gas tank, a fatherless child, a broken heart, a bitter spirit, and so forth.  Those who think they know better ignore the warnings from those who can hear a hustler a mile away.   

Most hustlers just want in on whatever you are bringing.  So what is it that you are giving away these days for a little bit of nothing?  Whether you have plans to marry, date, attend a party, get a job, meet with relatives and friends, join a civic group, share a service/product, etc. someone is going to ask, "Is it free?  What do I have to do to get it?  What is she giving me?  Who does he know?  What can I get?"  Know what you are bringing to the table, before the hustler tells you what to bring when you least expect it.  So many people "get caught off guard" in relationships, business partnerships, fraternal groups, civic associations even telemarketers by hustlers!  They get married when they aren't ready.  They go places they don't like.  They see people they would rather not.  They build businesses with others they despise.  They spend money they can't afford.  Why?  Because they got played--systematically played for days, months, or even years!  Now these "I should know better" type, are scrambling to pick up what is left of a broken heart, broken family, broken bank account, etc.

Cheap hustlers don't like to pay for anything, but they want everything while claiming to know everyone!  They hold out on paying for things and paying back people, because they hope you will say, "That's alright...don't worry about paying me.  It's all good, you family!  You good people--one of them Jesus type, right?  So that's what's you supposed to do, hook a brotha up!"  Meanwhile, hustlers will pay Uncle Charlie for whatever he is selling and give respect to Aunt Anne because "she knows some important people and well you know I have to pay her because you never know, I might need her one day."  The hustler reasons in his or her mind why he has to hustle you and why he can't get over on others.  Meanwhile, the naive go along just to get along. 

If you want one up on the hustler, let him know from the door, "How much are you paying me...What are you giving me?  Let me see the contract and I'll go over it with my attorney.  Where is your business license?  I think I will wait on the booty call. Why is there a rush to get married?"  When you start asking questions and telling him or her how your game is played, watch his or her sorry looking eyes.  Cheap hustlers don't usually plan to give out much of anything and don't often plan on you being one of the smart ones especially if you tend to act stupidly in various areas of your life.  You can count on a hustler giving you one or all of the following: a smile, a moment in bed, a promise, or a "thank you so much, you are a wonderful person..."  How much are you worth?

Nicholl McGuire   

African Americans, Unemployment, And the US Economy

I had initially planned to write about my recent accomplishments with a landscaping project in our backyard however I ran across an article featured in the AFRO newspaper that caught my attention. I couldn't help but bring attention to the June Labor statistic regarding African Americans. Alan King, Staff Writer for the AFRO mentions in his article "African Americans lead in unemployment-June Labor Stats Show Little Change In Unemployment." The overall unemployment statistical picture showed the number of unemployed persons in the U.S. at 14 .7 million. " African Americans led the list at 14.7 percent, Hispanics followed at 12.2 and Caucasians at 8.7. Believe me, statistics and scarcity has away of bringing you to your knees.

They say you have to tread lightly when reading and deciphering statistics because they can paint a skewed picture. However, the present economic photograph has many flaws. America in all its grandeur and color is faced with dramatic present and future uncertainty. I am proud to shed light upon a culture and economic class (African Americans) who leads the number of workers unemployed here in the U.S. African Americans have wavered the storm in past histories and will do so again. However, they like all other Americans will have to implement ways in which to improvise. Quite frankly, creating a niche for yourself has much to do about your longevity in the economic marketplace whether it's getting a new job or starting your own business enterprise.

Just recently, I experienced firsthand how difficult it was to get a job. I applied for numerous jobs in which I know I was over qualified and jobs with less pay. I received pleasant, polite, and politically correct responses "stating how rigorous it was to find the most qualified applicant.". I failed to take a look at all the different reasons why I wasn't hired. I think you do have to consider the overall unemployment picture while building on your personal and professional skill set!

So, let us all consider how we will make the necessary changes to stay afloat. What belt tightening will you have to implement. Consider tackling two birds with one stone i.e. finding gardening space to grow your own vegetable garden giving back to the environment while improving your overall physical health. As an African American, I can give testimony to the synergistic energy behind storytelling which I have recently found beneficial. I must share with you that initially my objective were to bring attention to the misery and uncertainty in the African American community whom have been affected by job loss and unemployment way before the recession of 2007.

Unemployment is debilitating , individually painful, and has a way of tearing down all families and communities both locally and globally. It's a natural component of the U.S. economic system and will never completely go away. Do not for a moment conjure in your mind that I'm downing America . Our country (America) continues to possess abundancy, human potential , and opportunities unlike many of our global partners. Now's the time to secure more knowledge, seek your passion, and set realistic goals!

I hope this article will personally help each of us to take action reflecting on our strengths and innate gifts as we meet the growing economic uncertainty facing our nation.

Curt Canada MSW provides Personal Development Coaching and Advisement at Finding Your Zenith in Washington D.C. He holds a Masters in Social Work from The University of Iowa and a Masters in Teacher Education from the American University. Postgraduate Certification from The Institute for Motivational Living and The Institute for Life Coach Training.

Many African Americans Have their Priorities in the Wrong Places

Moving back to my childhood neighborhood has been an eye-opening experience. I see plenty of African Americans renting homes that use to be owned by Caucasians. Many of these homes that were freshly painted and surrounded with green manicured lawns are now overrun with weeds and the houses are literally ready to crumble! The awnings that are suspended to the front of the homes that once kept the owners dry from the wind, rain, and falling snow are tattered and ready to drop to the ground. Safety railings are rusted and almost uprooted out of the dirt. Rock walls are collapsing. Windows are either broken, boarded up, posted with newspaper, or have unsightly looking fabric or dirty, bent blinds. Wooden fences are rotting, and sidewalks and driveways are badly worn.

What happened? “African Americans can’t take care of nothing,” some older blacks have said of their own race. “It’s so sad to think that this was a place that used to be so nice!” It seems not only did my childhood neighborhood go downhill since our people took over, but those in my family said the same thing about their childhood surroundings. “We use to have all sorts of businesses, clubs, and bars in our neighborhood – it was nice!” But not anymore, the pain of racism, drugs, violence, war, and other calamities have came into these communities by those “who never had nothing nice” as my grandmother once told me, “…and don’t want you to have anything nice either!”

So why do so many African Americans move into communities then sit back and allow them to fall apart? No one really knows how to answer this question without blaming someone. A problem solver, optimistic type will visit an African American community dropping off yet another program to get the unruly children, drug dealers, drunks, beggars, prostitutes, and pimps off the street and the neighborhood beautified. This creative thinker recruits a team of like-minded wishful thinkers and tells them to ask others in the neighborhood to help. Mind you, this help comes after many years of negative experiences occurring in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, the program doesn’t last for long before there’s a scandal, someone is assaulted or robbed. Then the enthusiasm in the community diminishes and finances are depleted. Meanwhile, the community is listening to the sounds of bass and gun fire at various times of the day and night. With decorations here and there of nice churches, expensive cars; name-brand jackets, overly priced shoes, purses, jewelry, and long rainbow colored hair while homes, yards, and streets are in disarray!

It’s evident that many African Americans are more concerned about the cars they drive, the attire they wear, and the unhealthy food they eat, but rarely take notice of more significant matters such as: the piping in their home that needs to be replaced, the roaches that hide between the crevices in their walls, the paint that seems to be peeling everywhere you look, the windows that need to be replaced from the 1950s, the wiring that is waiting to catch a fire, and various appliances that need attention. From the looks of things, many African Americans simply have their priorities in the wrong places!

Now if we are looking to blame someone or something, blame the slavery mentality that is very much with us! Slaves were more concerned about their master's buildings then their own and their master's fields and roadways. They were proactive when it came to telling master who stole the last piece of chicken or who was caught with master’s wife, and they at times would be willing to die for their masters. However, today’s slave, he or she is still working hard for master in an air-conditioned environment, but when he or she comes home, they may not have a cooling system, let alone enough money to keep the electric bill current. So the next time you go into a black community, that you may have moved out of, keep in mind how it got that way, support your neighborhood’s businesses when you can, and thank God you are favored where you now live!

Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com