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Stand-Offish, Strange, Your People

Look let's be real for a moment, our people, who come in many shapes, sizes and colors can be a bit strange.  I think all of that ethnic mixing over generations and it has many of our minds twisted--lol. 
For example, I thought of a time when I believed that what and who I was looking at was African American until the person/people checked me with a breakdown of what they were, and yes, black was included but there was a whole lot more within than just black.

I know that we have experienced our share of issues with our people and I know that sometimes we are guilty of assuming the worse before even getting to know others, but the truth is that our personal experiences with one or more than a few bad apples can ruin personal and professional relationships. 

Our people assume too much.  They think because they see/hear/feel/taste something that reminds them of their past experiences that they must be right about So and So.  For instance, if a stranger looks like someone they know then they are looking for some behaviors that are just like that person in their mind.  Rather than give the person the benefit of the doubt or see the individual as a completely different person, they make inaccurate comparisons and base their thoughts about the person on how much they act like the people they once knew or still know.  Are you confused?  Okay let's break it down like this in the following scenario:

1.  Strange acting friend with a lot of "issues"
2.  Meets a new person
3.  Says that individual reminds them a lot of a woman they didn't like for any number of reasons.
4.  The unsuspecting person has no clue as to why the stranger is acting weird toward them.
5.  People in the social circle don't understand either. 

I don't know about you, but I don't like anyone creating any preconceived notions about me until they get to know me.  Even if they learn a lot about me, their personal opinions have no bearing, as one woman said to me about her critics, "I keep it pushing..." I would like to add, "I have no time for the foolishness or the fake ones."  Another observer, "Let the past be the past!"  Why do some act so bitter, angry and abusive to one another all because someone or a group in the past did them wrong?

We have our share of people who brag about "keeping it real, (brutally) honest" and more and then we have those who fall in all sorts of categories from the manipulators to the pretenders.  I have met many black folks from all across the land with their share of good, bad and otherwise attributes.  Those who I have been impressed with, I gave them my time and ears, as for others, not so much or not at all.  Why put up with the weird behaviors, nasty attitudes, or other negative things that I rather stay far away from?

Stand-offish folks have been wounded beyond repair.  Did you catch that?  Weird folks will always be weird.  You can pray until your blue in the face and they will keep on acting strange, dysfunctional or whatever else that irritates you. 

Tell Mr. or Ms. Weird about what bothers you, attempt to help the person, show love and whatever else--and all the dysfunctional one will do is continue to respond back in a variety of hurtful ways.  (See Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate) 

I think one major weakness of our decent kinfolk is they keep crazy, weird, and altogether evil folks in close circles way too long!  Concerned about disconnecting from them, the do-good people manage to take the abuse of evil-doers over and over again from the church to the boardroom.

God shows us who is right and who is dead wrong.  Yet, some of our people will coddle/cry/give to what is seemingly a "nice" person in public who is really nothing more than a wolf in sheep's clothing.  (Check out Socially Sweet, Privately Cruel Abusive Men)

Some of our people even have their own family members in the dark about them.  Try telling an ineffective parent that his or her child is crazy and you better run for cover.  Attempt to expose that "no-good" whoever or whatever to a twisted loved one and before long that person isn't speaking to you.

Yes, "your people" is strange.  That's why I love them from a distance!

Nicholl McGuire
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