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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Wednesday

On Being Falsely Accused of Hating Black Men


It feels just like when you, my brutha, is being falsely accused by the police of doing something
that you didn't do.  "I didn't do it... it wasn't me...that's not what I was doing...Listen to me, listen to me...what you're saying is not me!  My mama raised me better than that!" 

Know who is friend and who is foe, know the difference between a woman and a b*tch. 
Every black woman that boldly speaks truth isn't an enemy,
but you can help create one with a "one size fits all" mentality.

Are you sure you want to make us your foe?

Nicholl McGuire

Enjoy the journey.





Viewer request - God Cares About the Soul Not The Color - pride, prejudi...

Friday

Around the World Our People are Loved and Hated

On one side of the world you see a black celebrity being praised for his accomplishments, but on the other side he might be ridiculed for his same achievement.  We live in a fickle world with fickle people doing some fickle things and if you are not a favorite or you are on that slow decline from favor, you are headed in the direction of hate.

Take a look at the many black celebrities around the world who remain at the top while others disappear for a much needed break to tend to families and others like those one hit wonders are never see or heard from again.  Notice how non-blacks treat and mistreat blacks in media. 

When there is something to be gained, they are celebrated, but when they are no longer useful, they are forgotten or worse publicly shamed.  This is why for some celebrities in mainstream media right now they are fighting to stay in front of our faces.  They will use family members, friends, tragedy, previous connections, and anyone or anything to remain relevant.  Many na├»ve individuals fall for the media hype and others know better.  I must admit I get tired of seeing the same people at the top year after year in sports, politics, music, law, and more, I know there are plenty African Americans who we don't know their names, but they deserve to be in the spotlight.

Black entertainers are loved above everyone else all around the world when they have given their all from money contributions to making people laugh, cry, emotionally feel again, etc.  Crowds of people will scream for them, raise their hands up as if worshipping them, and will argue or fight with others if one wrong word is spoken about their idols.  But what goes up, surely comes down in entertainment world.  Sometimes an elitist organization, for whatever reason, uses blacks in media like pawns in a game to take down other blacks, distract our people from what elitists are up to, steal our money, or set us back emotionally, physically or spiritually.  Once someone or a group feels threatened by black, they work to put him or her on his or her back in a variety of ways including police shootings.

I feel like a another drastic change is coming for people in media, the kind that isn't going to propel us but set us back because for far too many years those who had pull in mainstream media got comfortable.  They also got afraid.  They were well-trained in what could happen if they wanted to revolutionize anything or in other words, make a difference in their communities and in the lives of others.  Charitable acts are specially selected for wealthy blacks.  What they say to us and others is controlled.  Where they go and who they connect with is manufactured by handlers.  There isn't too much that they can do even though they may have proven their worth.  And when we see the chains hidden in plain site, we pity them and then pity turns into hate.  "Why did that celebrity sell out in the first place?"

Our people are loved. hated. and sometimes forgotten.  It doesn't matter who "they" are just know that just as one starts to feel like he or she is understood by the masses, feels comfortable spreading truth, and has favor with many, there are those who lie wait to bring them down around the world.

Nicholl McGuire

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems: What Do Women Like About Men? Here's 10

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems: What Do Women Like About Men? Here's 10: Are you a man curious about what women like about men? Do you genuinely want to change certain things about you to draw the right woman ...

Thursday

Happy Father's Day - For the Man who Enjoys Being a Dad

We salute or pat the men on the back who genuinely put their time, energy and money into building their families up not breaking them down due to unmet selfish needs.  As for the men who are all lip service whether to us or others this upcoming holiday, we have nothing to say to them or about them, all is quiet--God sets things up that way.  Sure, the reprobate, apostate, backsliders, and downright evil men will tell you people on and offline nice statements about their families on their social media accounts or at workplaces, but we either know our relatives quite well or live with them.
 
These kinfolk as well as "baby daddies" have lied, cheated, stole, acted disrespectful to the ones who bore them children and more.  They may act kind to the children when they are "in the mood" just so long as handing money or a toy doesn't inconvenience them.  But let that child whine, complain, or ask for more...and oh boy!  All hell is going to break lose.  "Did you put that child up to asking me for that?  I ain't got no more money for ya'll!  Stop asking me!  You got a job, use your d@mn money!  I don't play...Don't you know how to do that, why you asking me go ask your Mama!"  the insulted and impatient fathers say.

Yet, the father, the one who makes sacrifices for his--the one who shows the children how much he loves mom too, he is to be commended!  There is no blame, shame, or having to tame him, he knows what to do to make his family happy.  He works, pays bills, sits down with his family to a periodic meal or daily, he attends worship service or prays with family at home, a generous and kind man, it isn't any wonder he is most wanted.

I don't know about you but I am not dispensing Happy Father's Day to just anyone.  I am not going to hide, lie and cover up truth either.  Every year on and offline there is always someone or a group that sings praises to men in and out of churches who don't have a clue what is really going on with them when it comes to marriage and family and the same thing occurs around Mother's Day too. 

Some secretly angry or bitter men and women resent their life choices.  They consider anything that takes away from their fun, quiet time, or money a burden.  Rather than be faithful to a partner and train up a child, they treat that a partner and a child like toys.  They pay attention to them when they "feel" like playing with them whether morally or immorally while looking for selfish benefits.

Fathers, who never wanted to be fathers, hide their resentful emotions by projecting their frustrations on to the mothers in or out of their lives even when the door has been left wide open for them to walk right out and never come back.  They use partners and children for photo opps, extra income, fodder around the water cooler at work, and for the narcissists and psychopaths' supply emotionally, physically or otherwise.  Sometimes the children are used as tools to lure new partners until they are no longer needed.  Children are "good workers" and "make me proud" to doting parents who are more concerned about how they look rather than contributions made in the lives of their families.  But when kids are older, more discerning and cost more while no longer feeding these fathers' and stepfathers' egos they are criticized, written out of wills, and banned from coming around the family.  The son is no good, the daughter is full of sh*t, and the grandchildren are "good for nothing."  And God sees and hears all.

One day a father will have to give account to his Creator for all those hours he sat watching strangers play sports on entertainment devices rather than get out with his children and show them how to play.  He will have to tell of times he could have given more to the family he lives with or created, but held back so that lovers, parents, siblings, extended relatives, exes and others could benefit while feeding his ego with, "You are such a good son...You are the best brother...Thank you so much Uncle!"  Meanwhile, his children and grandchildren are still struggling, asking people outside the family for hand-outs, or forced to sign up for government programs due to his frugality or lack.  He will have to explain why he was so hateful toward his children's mom or mothers and why he did everything to avoid paying child support.  He will have to come clean before the Lord confessing why he didn't listen to truth.

So why esteem those who are undeserving of such a holiday?  Is it because you desire to feel good by making someone else feel good--wouldn't it be better to expose men on their evil ways and be blessed by the great I AM?  Why call something or someone "good" when it is evident he or it is evil?  Why tell lies and exaggerations to puff up the pride of children of darkness who say and do despicable things behind the backs of grandmothers, mothers and children?  Why?  Does one's dysfunctional programming passed down from generations call master good when he is indeed bad for fear of the repercussions for speaking up, breaking up, and moving away?  Happy Father's Day means what really?  What about your Father in heaven, doesn't he deserve the honor first and foremost?

Just because a man brings a child into this world and provides for basic needs or not doesn't make him anything more than just a man.  But a father walks in the shadow of his Almighty Father and dispenses the kind of love, patience and compassion on to his family that others can learn from and mimic. 

Say Happy Father's Day to the men who love and appreciate their families.  Examine the fruit on the trees of others and bless those who have demonstrated what it truly means to be a father beyond material wealth and money.

Blessings to the righteous fathers who are fighting the good fight--loving and appreciating wives and children.  Keep doing what you are doing!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad


Wednesday

How to Know He Still Loves His Ex

The quickest way to rip your lover’s heart out is to tell them that you are still in love with your ex.  However, some people think they are sparing themselves and their lover the dreaded “let’s sit down and talk” scene by simply not saying anything at all.  The following relationship scenarios are true and the names have been changed to protect the identities of those who have actually been hurt by men who still love their exs.  

Meet Darius, he has been in various short-lived relationships while dating his on again off again girlfriend, Tina.  The problem is Tiffany doesn’t know that Darius is not only still in love with his girlfriend, but he is still having sex with her.  After spending much time with Darius, going to restaurants, hanging out at his mother’s house, attending social events, Tiffany begins to notice that Darius is becoming difficult to reach by phone.  His excuse, he has been working long hours and promises they will go out again.  Being a busy college student herself and working, she understands and isn’t demanding about the two of them spending time with one another.

Then there is Kane, unlike Darius; he has shared with his girlfriend of almost two years, Leslie that he is still in love with the mother of his child, Fatima.  Despite his efforts to break up with Leslie, he can’t seem to let her go and neither can he let Fatima go either.  He always finds a way to get away from Leslie so that he can see the mother of his child.  He tells Leslie he is going to his friend’s house, and then when she calls him he can’t be reached.  One day Leslie discovers a Facebook page of a young woman left minimized on her computer.  She asks Kane about it.  He says that it is just Fatima’s page and that she just wanted him to check it out.  Leslie bothered by it, begins to question whether he still loves his child’s mother.  He admits he does, but there is nothing to their relationship anymore.  Meanwhile, he tells Leslie that he will be going to pick up his daughter from the mother’s house.  Leslie at times doesn’t see him for days.  His excuse, “I have been working…I had to help my brother with a few things…I needed some space…I have been spending time with my daughter…”

Both women are obviously under the impression that these men care for them.  They choose not to press the issue of what their gut may be telling them, “He is seeing another woman.”  Even if they find out the truth, the question remains will they allow themselves to break up with their men or will they ride the merry-go-round of break up to make up?

Tiffany eventually finds out about Darius, the hard way.  During a trip to the mall, she notices a tall man from a distance wearing what appears to be a rather unusual shirt she has seen before.  The man is standing with a woman who looks oddly like her.  The woman wears her hair back like her, her skin tone is the same color, she stands about the same height, and has the same build.  To be certain the man isn’t whom she thinks it is, she walks closer and unfortunately discovers that it is indeed Darius and his girlfriend whom she had never seen before.  Tempted she begins to walk over to the couple, but realizes she doesn’t want to make a scene; she stops close enough for Darius to get a view of her.  He sees her, he appears to look as if he is suddenly in a rush to usher his girlfriend Tina off, taking her by the arm affectionately.  Tiffany stands there appearing as if she is shopping, before she can raise her head, Darius is gone out the mall with the woman, her heart has sunk into her stomach.

After several months of allowing Kane to visit his ex, Leslie can’t do it anymore.  She has become bitter and resentful and has often picked arguments with Kane.  “Where are you going?   What are you doing?  Who are you doing it with?”  She tells him she wants him to quit seeing his ex.  Kane finally admits that he won’t stop and that he will have to end the relationship.  By this point, Leslie is not letting Kane go without a good fight.  She yells, cries, and cusses.  She reminds Kane of the sacrifices she has made to help him sort out his feelings.  After a few more times of breakup to make up and excuses of “coming over to pick up my things so I can have more make up sex,” Kane finally puts an end to the relationship.  Leslie is devastated, because through a mutual friend she has learned only weeks later after their break up, Kane is getting married.

What were the early signs that both women could have paid attention to that said, “I still love my ex?”  Let’s review.

He doesn’t make time for you when he has in the past.  Whenever you plan to go somewhere and he says, he can’t do it, he is too busy, we will catch up, etc.  He is saying these things, because he doesn’t know the other woman’s schedule, so he has to be available to her as well when she calls.

He is more interested in himself and his needs than yours.  If every time you want him to do something for you and he can’t, he is letting you know that what you want from him is unimportant.  He may also be needed by the other woman and may feel stressed with having to share money, time, sex, and other things.

He always has an excuse for being away, tardy, or breaking off engagements. (This sign is obvious if he is normally on time for everything.)  Look for patterns in his behavior.

He makes light of your “other woman” discoveries.  You find intimate notes online, offline, or text messages and he says we are just friends.  Someone tells you that they see him driving his ex’s car or riding with her and he makes an excuse such as “She needed a ride so I was helping her out.”  He doesn’t know how something owned by a woman got in his car, coat pocket, office, briefcase, or somewhere else.

He has sex with you without putting any future plans in action.  For instance, he promises to stop seeing an ex, yet you discover he is still seeing her.  He tells you that he loves you, but he is still doing things that hurt you.


He admits that he still loves her. When he is truthful about his feelings he has given you an option to stay with him or go.  He is hoping that you will stick around so that he can benefit from the both of you.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books including: She's Crazy and Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men.

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