Blogger Tips and TricksLatest Tips And TricksBlogger Tricks


This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


Special New Year's Message of Warning, Prayer, Rebuke 2014 - Psalm 18


Why Black Men Date White Women - The Real Answer

Black Women with Bad Attitudes and Why They End Up Alone

Pet or Friend? The Racist Hasn't Gone Anywhere

The ignorant, a non-black man or woman with a hidden anger/resentment toward African American women, men or both was taught by teachers with racist mentalities before him to seek out pets; rather than people.  If you go back in time, you will see how blacks were viewed as animals and not people.

"Of course, blacks are humans, have rights and live relatively decent lives," says the racist. "But remember, they aren't like us.  You saw the television shows, read the magazines even worked with those kind."  The racist warns, "They are sensitive people, many are angry so if you get one that makes you laugh and can help you with the bills, well I guess he/she is alright with me."

Blacks to the racists are pets.  They were "back in the day" and they still are!  The superiority complex hasn't gone anywhere!  But how can you tell the difference between a non-black with an issue with African Americans and one who doesn't (yet this person was raised or hung out with people who treated blacks unfairly)?  Take notice of how this person might treat everyone around his or her "pet," so to speak.

We all know how much non-blacks love their pets--sometimes more than people!  Some folks will let the pet kiss one in the mouth and eat from their dish.  The person will care for the pet, groom him, buy him his favorite treats, let him sleep in his or her bed, and arrange for travel with the pet.  As long as the "dog" (even some black men will refer to themselves as such) is loyal, doesn't stray too far away from home, bite his master, praises his owner/handler by coming when called upon, and being of some assistance, the pet is okay.  Now think of how this all plays a part in some of those industries we are told "...have the best can make good money" hmm or what about certain arranged interracial relationships and let's add even favorite church denominations.  The pet is still fetching and his master is still throwing some crap in the game!   

Now with this in mind,  check out how some black celebrities are displayed like some white mothers (not all of course!) doting over their black babies while using the children to draw media attention to one of their many projects.  It is considered a status thing in Hollywood to have a rainbow of children. This is also true when it comes to having a black man or woman with much money in one's inner circle.  He doesn't have to be a crowd favorite just so long as he or she is making someone or a group some money, taking care of the white man's daughter, and behaving himself, the entertainer will be seen in non-black elitist circles and welcomed.  But when the money runs out, then what?  When the black man or woman starts running his or her mouth, uh oh!

The elder racist and his offspring parade their pets around like they do their dogs, cats, and whatever other pet they show off!  Like pets, blacks have restrictions in certain circles, industries, organizations, and more--yes even to date--so don't be fooled!  If you don't look for the cardinal rules, you don't see them.  If you don't feel uncomfortable, you don't know they are there.  But to the black who is being used, abused, and displayed in front of non-black family, friends, associates and others, he doesn't realize he is someone's or a group's pet until he starts pushing back.  When he stops being cooperative, generous, going along with the status quo, and not properly executing the commands of the non-black, racist woman or man, he realizes, "I am nothing more than a show boat monkey!"

"You didn't articulate well, you sensitive black.  You didn't make us laugh.  You stopped doing for us.  You got all emotional and disrespected your master one too many times!  You didn't help with our project!"  The closet racist says. He is happy that once again his point has been proven.  "You can't work with those people!" while he claims he is not a racist because he said that (sigh).

So how does one move from being an obedient pet to simply a human being who has earned the title, "friend."  He or she stays true to his or herself!  Let me repeat, stay true to who you are!  There is no changing your personality to appease anyone--racist or not.  You don't play the game of acting one way with those who are non-blacks such as being honest, easygoing, and showing them love and respect, yet acting disrespectful and downright rude with people who look like you especially when they expose you on your foolishness!

Many people, regardless of skin tone, respect "the ghetto" of a man or woman whether they are black, white, red or yellow, because there is no act with them--they are real people with real feelings who speak truth even if it hurts!  Others will respect the affluent, so-called proper speaking,because despite not sounding like those who he or she grew up with, this person has adapted to his or her environment--the act is long gone.  One who once put on a show has now made "the act" his or her reality even if some of us don't agree with all the European decorating that goes along with it to hide one's black features, but I digress.

The prejudice man or woman, who has been brainwashed by parents who grew up when African Americans used black bathrooms and whites used white bathrooms is still alive and well--they haven't died yet neither did their beliefs.   The old man or woman is still training his or her team to find the black person with the butler or housekeeper mentality that "will make you laugh, come up with some good money-making ideas," who follows instructions whether ethical or not, and recruits others to make the leadership money and a lot of it!  You think blacks showing up on the silver screen in subservient roles is nothing more than happenstance!  Non-blacks know these type of blacks are practically extinct--it's time to recruit some new pets! 

The retired racist will tolerate the black entertainer, the black boyfriend/husband, even the black life insurance man, or any one else who is of African decent seated at his table and breaking bread with the family.  However, when he has had enough of staring at that "Negro, black, Afro American, or colored," he knows how to send the black woman or man on his way.  In his mind, he is weary of the "circus" act.  This is the reality folks, soif you are offended, then good--Obama is on his way out, so you better wake up especially if you are an African American in a fresh leadership position!  The key to staying in anyone's family, organization, company, or seated at his or her table is once again to be true to yourself even if it might cost you everything that you have!  There will be no leash placed on the pet--we are called to be FREE, mentally, physically and spiritually!

As mentioned before, former pets end up being friends because they win the respect of others.  They don't play head games for selfish gain ie.) like some black men and women who date whites in the hopes of gaining some material wealth do (and you all know who you are)! 

True friends honestly show love to others without hidden prejudice.  They genuinely care for others and aren't afraid to speak truth!  They make sacrifices of time and money for those in need.  Isn't that what true friendship is really about?  Don't be anyone's pet no matter how much they pay you!

Nicholl McGuire



This is an old story from 2011, but it is a reminder that there are many who are without a home this holiday season for reasons that only God knows.  Don't take for granted the people and the things you have now, you never know when they will be snatched from you!  When the writing is on the wall to save money, plan for the future, and just say "no," do it!  You never know what is right around the corner ready to cause so much stress and pain for you that you end up losing so much--including your mind! 


Celebrities are a Distraction from the Health News that Really Matters

Those simple pleasures in life like cake, a good piece of steak, or even a sip of wine might titillate one's senses in moderation, but too much of anything isn't good.  So while our people enjoy talking about celebrities, shootings, and what mama and 'em are doing for the holidays, there has been some important news in American media that has surfaced in recent years, then quietly put away or worse deleted on some sites.  The kind of information that will make you think twice about indulging in behavior that might prematurely end your life!  Why do so many rebellious, stubborn and prideful relatives and friends insist on doing things to their bodies that cause unnecessary grief for others?  Sure, it may be their sick bodies, but who is by their bedside, helping pay hospital bills, rearranging their personal and professional schedules, running errands, and doing other things all because one's unhealthy eating, bad habits, defiance of doctor's orders, and other things has gotten them in trouble once again?

Stop by these sites and be enlightened on some issues you may not have thought about and could be very well contributing to you or a loved one's health issues.  Let's stop making excuses and face the truth!  Look at the troubling issues within and around you.  Take your clothes off, look in the mirror.  Check your habits.  Compare yourself (or think of others) from back in the day with the one (or people) now--what do you see?  The more people get, the more people want and when trouble comes, they play dumb, look the other way, go on the attack, or use cute phrases like "it is what it is" to dismiss fact.

Beer Drinkers Face Cancer Risk (link no longer active, do your research)

Study: Newer Birth Control Pills May Double Blood Clot Risk

Marijuana Side Effects and cancer is one of them!  Also, check out the following link too (it isn't any wonder that some blacks and non-black folks who smoke weed for decades have mental issues:)
New Research Shows Direct Link Between Soda And Obesity (one soda a day will affect your weight!)
HIV Among Women (With all that booty shaking and cheating going on in the black community, some have forgotten that their are many women (men too) but women decorated like pretty presents carrying HIV or AIDS--don't let those good looks fool ya! Do a random search on some of your favorite celebrities and you will find many are carriers of a variety of STDs.  (link no longer active)
Heart-healthy diet: 8 steps to prevent heart disease (Grandma may have cooked better than most, but she wasn't thinking about heart health).
We can go on and on when it comes to sharing links about health news that really matters.  Just think of all the effort made to divert your attention from what should concern you, your health!  But when there are racist people speaking about population control behind closed doors around the world because they believe there are too many people on planet earth, do you really think they care about you or me?  They basically want to get rid of "The Undesirables"--those who take more than they give.  Ignorant people, unsuccessful, poor, broke, busted, disgusted, etc.  Don't allow them to win--live your life to the fullest by taking care of you and those around you!  Teach others to make wise decisions--to be productive members of society rather than acting selfishly and harming others by stealing, killing and destroying what little life we all have left.
Here are links about population control, take heed and think before you drink, buy or use certain products--read the labels!
The Population Control Agenda

Secret Billionaire Club Seeks Population Control  Be sure to look up every name with population control and you will see video and read dialogue about how they really feel about the world having too many people.  Here are a few videos that might one day come down.

NATION OF LIES: Population Control 

David Rockefeller's Speech for Population control

More on The Population Control Agenda


Survey Reveals Perfect Woman

When I came across this survey with the included image of a brunette and a blonde, I couldn't help but think of Beyonce.  The mass media has paraded her in front of cameras far more than I have ever seen in my lifetime.  She is a good distraction from the news that really matters (but I digress). 

I don't typically post information about celebrities, but I wanted to show you how close to the "perfect woman" they have made Beyonce, a fair skin black woman, appeal to white men's idea of a perfect woman (before the survey came out).  Beyonce's marketing team knew what they were doing from the start!  Funny, her name didn't come up in the survey even though she looks strikingly close to the image in the survey.  Below in the text box is what the non-black women considered the perfect woman which was a brunette and the non-black men who took the survey chose the blonde.  After decades of mass media programming, men still fall for the blondes.  Anyway, take a look:

So what message do you think surveys like these send to young girls and women in the African American community?  Same ole twisted programming to empower a certain group and divide others.


7 Simple Things to Do to Your Hair When It Isn't Looking So Wonderful

1.  Moisturize it and then fluff it if you have hair that is easy on the eyes.
2.  Brush in one direction and tie back.
3.  Comb it to the side and place a hat on it.
4.  Take bobby pins and gel to hold in place--that is if you have some curls or fly aways that don't behave.
5.  Chop it.  (This tip may only be used if you have been contemplating for a long time to get your hair cut.  Otherwise, ignore the haters if you know your hair looks good on a good day, okay!)
6.  Wash, condition and use your favorite hair care product to: twist, braid, brush, curl, set on rods, etc.
7.  When all else fails, stay home!  People in good moods don't want to be brought down low with someone in their circle who is often talking about their "bad" hair while attempting to touch yours--they are supposed to know better not to touch a black woman's hair!


The Black Man with Money: one of the most coveted men on the face of the earth

We have seen all-too-frequently in the American media successful rich, black males walking and talking with non-black women and appearing to get along with them too.  It's as if the media is telling the world, "Black women are not the women you want to be seen with once you are making a six figure salary."  Thank God for a positive impression of the first family over the years!  A man with money is in demand in a down economy, and for the black man, he is a diamond in the rough.  So he knows that it isn't difficult to find a replacement when a black or non-black woman just isn't liking or loving him like she should.

Could it be that many women, black and otherwise, are told from the time they are able to understand the difference between a boy and a man that, "A man with money is what you want in this life not a poor, broke boy."  So these poor girls grow up to become money hungry women who seek after men who are wealthy, so much in fact, that it puts off rich men?  But a woman who is use to being around the Haves rather than the Have-nots knows how to put her greed for money in check.  The black man who has already been programmed to believe that having a non-black woman on his arm is the way to go will believe that she is looking out for his best interests when in fact she is looking out for her own while his black woman from yesteryear stands afar wishing she had that man with money.  Does love really have anything to do with financially wealthy relationships?

The way I see it, black or non-black, a woman who loves money more than sex is a head case waiting to erupt once the money is no more.  She is ready for separation then divorce.  The black man with what little money is left from his fortune is going to pay for his freedom while his people will be whispering, "He should have left that money hungry woman alone."  He may start dating his own kind for awhile, but then when the time comes that he is after more financial gain he will partner with those who he thinks can help him--those who happen to be everything but black.  This man with money, that some black women just pray to their gods for, doesn't come into their lives without a price. The women have to give up something to get something. The men may not be interested in loving these women, but more concerned about getting from them. She may be a good helpmate to him--doing everything he asks, very attractive--fulfilling his sexual fantasies, and come from wealth as well, but she must also be the submissive type and know when to fall back and let her man shine. Most people know that in the black community outspoken, independent types are not going to sit in the back of anywhere without much coaxing, swindling, and of course money talk! The man with money knows how to pay off his women to keep quiet at least for a time.

There are many, many blacks making less than six figures in our society which means it is less likely that wealthy blacks will entrust their finances to those who look like them. Even if there were many more rich blacks than impoverished ones, the majority of wealthy, educated blacks wouldn't stick it out with one another. Why?  Because as long as there are susceptible minds to media brainwashing and educational studies that persuade blacks to try something different along with an innate desire to date interracially--thanks to all the intermixing between ethnicities, there will always be someone, somewhere in love with someone else who doesn't have a similar skin tone.  Now if the black man is distracted with someone who isn't from his neighborhood, reminds him of no one in his family, and knows how to spend up his money better than he, then this man is less likely to want to go back to his hometown and partner with fellow businessmen and women to build up the community and his childhood family.  White power structures know this and that's why they don't mind sacrificing their sex kittens who are at the bottom of their pyramid structures.  Just imagine what the world might look like with many more rich, selfish black men?  Now imagine what the world would look like with more generous, wealthy African American men?  It even sounds different, now doesn't it?

Oh, the black man with money is a man that is needed everywhere, but he isn't permitted to go everywhere.  His allegiance to his fraternal and civic groups won't let him give back to any association of his choosing--notice another distraction.  His dues, tithes, donations, and bills must stay loyal even when his feet have done some walking.  Even his own relatives and friends can tie his money up in such a way that he doesn't bother to give to any extended loved ones no matter how much they could use the assistance. 

The powers that be know how to get him and his family to stay committed--now don't they?  The rich, black man has very little time to help those who are truly in need.  There is no 1% donation given to the real needy people and the rest to administrative costs when they are standing right in front of his face.  But those around him, will strategically move him away from those who really need him.  "You have this project to need to be at this event...we need for you to be at your photo shoot...there is a talk show host who is interested in interviewing  you..."  When is enough, enough!  Book him, poke him, prod him, and then fork him when he can't deliver anymore!  Meanwhile, tell him where he should spend his money on yet more overpriced, overhyped, designer products so that he uses them all up and has no choice but to continue to work long hours to maintain an A-list lifestyle that will soon come to an end when he is no longer hot. 

An idle mind coupled with an aging body might start exposing secrets, so his handlers want this rich, black man to keep working until he dies, get married for a time, have a baby, and then lose it all when he is hot again. No time for a family when he is a man with money!  So for those who hope to land "a good man with money" one day, recognize that he had to give up a lot to get what he has and the wife who enjoys the fruits of his labor had to earn every penny--she had to put up, put out, put off, and do some things that most so-called strong black women wouldn't do. And one final note, just because you might have someone in your circle with money doesn't mean that they will love or even like you as you may have already discovered--money has a way of changing people.

Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog about various dating and relationship trials and triumphs here.

Nicholl has authored the following books:
Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
When Mothers Cry
Laboring to Love Myself
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street
Spiritual Poems By Nicholl



Still Holding a Special Place in Your Heart for the Pimp

Oh, the memories!  Sitting back in your easy chair or seated on a sofa, you are channel surfing.  You come across an old film with a black man decorated in a brightly colored suit with a matching hat and a feather sticking out the top.  You think of Robin Hood briefly when you look at his hat--stealing from the rich to give to the poor.  (Oh, you fed right into the marketers' schemes with that one.)  The handsome black man wears boots with a heel which makes him appear a little taller than he is and a little softer than he looks with his button down shirt.  It's like he has the appeal of both sexes. (Once again, the marketers got you!)  He actually looks fit, better looking than you.  (You will be looking more closely at what he has so that you can spend your money on some old back in the day stuff--they got you again!)  Walking down the street with two seductively dressed women, the pimp has one white with straight, blond hair and one dark skin with black, curly hair on his arms.  They are all headed to a large automobile called a Cadillac--it's long, real long. (How many folks who had some money in your family owned a Cadillac?  The car dealership drained their wallets for years on a car that they most likely didn't get pay off before having an accident.)  The front hood is large enough to lay a few bodies on it and the trunk big enough to put a few dead ones in it. 

While watching a scene on TV similar to the one described in real life, you look over at your older relative, the one who use to know a pimp or two from the '70s, and he has a stupid grin on his face with eyes glued on the screen.  The only smile you have seen on his face all day.  Yeah, he's across the room re-living his youth admiring a pimp, now re-read that last line.  It's not a doctor, scholar, lawyer, teacher, preacher, fellow father, or even his own daddy that generates such warm emotions inside, it's a pimp!  A man who gets his income from putting women out on street corners and everywhere else to sell sex.  An unrighteous man is glorified for his power, fame and money in the 'hood.   

Now let's just take a moment and blow that old school image of a pimp up--an archetype that has old fools acting like young pimps nowadays!  Meanwhile, the marketing masterminds behind the scenes pimp the pimp, "Go get our money b*tch or else!"  Now before you instruct me to watch my mouth, I could direct you to a few shows that ain't right from preacher pimps to baby daddy pimps and some of ya'll just love 'em, but I don't want to give them no more airtime then they have already received, now back to the pimped pimp who, like a wolf, comes in sheep's clothing with all his smooth talk, his crafty walk, kissing babies, sexing the ladies, making promises, and telling everyone, "You crazy, but I love you baby."  Who could be mad at a nice pimp with a seemingly generous spirit about himself?  But the discerning know better.  Grandma use to take one long look at a few of my admirers back in the day and say, "Now that one there, he's full of sh*t!  And that other one is no good!  And could you have done better, he got some money?!"

A created character from way back when amplified by mass media, the pimp was like a puppet on strings for the government.  And although he doesn't look like his past, the pimp still walks amongst us. A little more smarter these days because he completed highschool or maybe graduated from college, he can still get into places that the boys in blue can't and don't want to either.  His yesteryear wardrobe was emulated by many dumb, ignorant or bored black men who were nothing more than walking targets that wore signs when they put on his attire, "I perform illegal services for the community! Take me off to jail."  You couldn't miss them with all their bright colors. 

Black folks back in the day, and blacks folks now, just don't think before they put on the clothing that is being directly marketed to them.  Ask yourself this, "What are the designers that are splattered all over my shirts, pants, purses, wallets, shoes, and other things really representing?  Am I someone's walking target?"  Let's think long and hard about the ghetto wisdom I am sharing today.  If you lived in a community of lack and you didn't have much going on besides a little sex here and there and a paycheck every two weeks, would the pimp be your form of escape from a dead end lifestyle?  Could he move on your mind to want to try new things including white women? 

Some of the black men were programmed by their so-called harmless TVs from the time they could watch TV.  They were told by the pimp, "It's okay playa, you can have at least one white woman on your arm in your lifetime.  Uncle Charlie won't hang you, you dig?"  And that one, Snow White, could care less about her pimp, she was working out deals with non-blacks who wanted to see him go down! As long as Snow White's people accepted her back home, she always had a place of shelter. She was used until she couldn't be used no more for a bit of information about those criminally minded black folks in the hood and in corporate America.  Meanwhile, Chocolate Drop would warn the pimp about Snow White until she grew weary of not being heard, the once loyal worker would eventually turn on him like a snake. 

Snow White knew how to draw her pimp to The Man like a fish to a worm, it was too easy to be trusted, thanks to television programming.  But when that hoe was all used up, she was reminded that when she started the mission she was white trash and when her job was complete she was white trash!  Now stop for a moment, and think about some of these so-called relationships that are obviously not working, but seem to drag on, someone ain't it for just the cream, that's for sure.  No respectable white man back in the '70s or even those today, who aren't fond of black folks, would even think about taking a black man's sloppy seconds, but a pimp will try anything at least once--just so long as it makes him money.

I will be the first to admit the pimp has a charming appeal.  When I was born into this wicked world made up of male and female pimps, players and hustlers in the '70s, not only did I see pimps on TV, but in person too with their hats on and with their hats off later in life.  Back then, a little girl with wide eyes, I was curious about the pimp, but not enough to be one of his hoes.  But what I didn't plan on was all the programmed wannabe pimps in the world who glorified his lifestyle.  These copycats were actors, average men with average lifestyles wishing to pimp a young lady out.  But as I grew older, I recognized the farce in yet another created caricature for blacks.  One more thing to distract us from the spiritual power within.  A black man can't hear his inner oracle when he is being pimped by the pimp.  The pimp can't hear or see his hoes for who they really are, another man's daughters, because he is too busy being pimped by the ones who created him.  Think of other examples where this idealology plays a part.  The worker and the manager, the wife and the husband, and the business man and his partners, get the picture.  Pimps are everywhere folks!

A pimp is nothing more than a slave dressed in someone else's clown suit whether it is all decorated up with a tilted matching hat (notice his creators didn't dress him up in any respectable attire) or worn with a hood and sagging pants.  A truly spiritually changed black man would think twice before admiring or acting like a pimp.  If you trust your Holy Bible, Koran or whatever it is that you read for spiritual nourishment, then the wise words in it should be something that takes the pimp out of that head game he likes to play with the unenlightened ones. But those who could careless, continue to perpetuate the pimp archetype.

My brothers and sisters, this pimp mentality issue is a matter of the heart for some of you.  No more warm, fuzzy feelings for the pimp.  Turn shows off with him in it.  Don't even sit with any man who wishes for the days when men slapped their women around.  Avoid encouraging the ungodly men in your family to "...tell that story when you had all those women...and that one did..."  Meanwhile, his wife is seated in the next room, have some respect!

Ask your God to change your mindset and those around you concerning the Pimp.

Rest in peace, to all those who thought big pimpin' was all 'dat!

Nicholl McGuire


How Celebrities Influence Your Personal Relationship

Picture a seductively dressed performer on stage. She is pulsating, gyrating, ready to take all viewers on a fantasy ride. But some viewers aren’t tempted by the sexy adulteress, to them, it’s just another troubled, pretty face needing some attention, so they change the television channel. Entertainers know exactly what they are doing! They need your financial support while a partner in the next room desires a quality relationship.

But for many couples the distractions of celebrity movies, mayhem, music, sporting events and more is taking what little free time one has during the day away from what really matters and that is family. Starting with the couple who sits apart from one another to watch yet again a movie he or she has seen before. Whether this couple hopes to stir up romantic feelings, relax, or to escape problems of the day via the entertainment they are watching, what their minds might take in maybe anything from thoughts of cheating to acts of violence. As much as one might deny celebrities’ impact on the masses, it is there! People are just that weak-minded to wish, hope, pray, and worry about their relationships based on what they have seen, heard, or read about as a result of what a celebrity is doing or saying. The subconscious mind embraces the story that he or she witnesses and processes it so that it is acceptable to one’s situation. A husband is acting distant, a viewer will relate to a story about a cheating spouse, even if the one he or she is with is not cheating, but personal feelings of inadequacy, rejection and more will be drawn out of the one watching the movie play out.

Think of a time when you couldn’t sleep, so you go to your computer. The thought doesn’t cross your mind to go to your partner for a little conversation and love-making because he or she might be sleep or busy with activities. So you let the Internet bring some calm to a nagging feeling of wanting to be physically intimate. You sit in front of the computer screen and listen to your favorite musician croon or a beloved actress love-make in a movie. A singer and his or her music video of semi–nude dancers is also entertaining. Everyone is beautiful to view. The story theme seems interesting too. One music video goes off then another comes on and before yo know it, most of the night has passed by. You go to your room only to pick up a music player to help lull you to sleep.

After a long night of star gazing, you awake tired and irritable. Songs play in your head throughout the day. You have a headache and a heartache because movies and songs have triggered emotions within that you rather not face regarding a partner.

Some celebrity fans are carrying around their idols in their minds and actions! Many are guilty of bringing so-called harmless fantasies to be with them. They envision what a future might look like being married to celebrities, having sex, or traveling with them.

Beautiful people, songs, and scenery lure us away from ugly realities. We allow television, music lyrics, and others’ reactions to influence our views on love, marriage, sex, communication, money, and more. We think that our thoughts are our own, but are they?

When was the last time you saw something on TV that gave you the idea to do the same thing or something similar for your partner? When was the last time you saw a romantic movie or drama about a couple and you thought to yourself, “I wish we could have a relationship like them?” You may have even wished that the star of the movie was your partner!

Listen to the latest R&B, pop, or country song long enough and you will begin to think things about your relationship you may have never thought about. “I wonder if my man is doing the same thing? If I ever catch him doing something, I will…She has been talking to my boy a lot lately…I wonder what she sees in me?” We allow negative thoughts to take center stage in our lives just by listening to far too much negative lyrical content. We allowed someone access to our minds. Would they be shocked at how much celebrity influence affects our daily decision-making?

Now some of us are just not that shallow minded to allow a stranger to have that kind of hold on our minds, or are we? Think back to those moments when you were a teen listening to music. Remember those images of entertainers you may have hung on you bedroom wall or kept in a scrapbook? Did you keep a extensive music collection of your favorite entertainers? How might your favorite singers, impacted your memories? If you say, “They didn’t have no bearing on my life decisions.” I would have to challenge you to pull out those oldies and play them. Almost immediately, you will be taken back to a past memory. While the music played you may have said or did something that indirectly connected your feelings to a song. The music triggers past emotions that stick with us for a lifetime; therefore, the music influences us to some degree.

We connect entertainers to our lives. Some of us do it subtly, others are quite bold about it. They may dress a certain way, choose a make-up, or perfume because an entertainer marketed it. Somehow the mind reasons, “This will make my man look twice…this will get her in the mood.” There is nothing wrong with bettering yourself as a result of what a favorite celebrity tells you, but there is a problem when we allow that celebrity to get in our minds, in our hearts and eventually in the bed with us. Once we do that, we send mixed messages to our partners. Today, we are feeling and looking sexy like a model on the cover of a magazine, tomorrow we are torn between loves like an actress in a drama and by the end of the week we are holding hands and kissing our partner like characters in a favorite romantic comedy. It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions isn’t it? Too much star gazing will do just that!

Nicholl McGuire, author, blogger, speaker and Internet content producer.  Her latest self-published poetry book is here.



Poem: I'm Not Going to Tell You that I Like You

I'm not going to tell you that I like you when I don't.
Some blacks like to talk loud, they flaunt.

I'm not going to say that I will pray, when I won't.
Some blacks like to cry, lie and taunt.

You see, if you were me, and I were you,
you would be saying, "Don't do...don't do."

But sometimes the more you hold back,
the more you lack.
Maybe that's why I have yet to get my stack.

I saw a half moon one day,
told myself, "Half crazy today."

Out of my mind for settling down with fools,
don't look beyond what was taught in schools.

I tried real hard to like so many people I met,
but then I couldn't keep still, started to fret.

Silly conversation doesn't hold my attention for long,
I start listening to what's in my mind, a song.

Found many ways to push back the noise,
learned a few things from my little boys.

When they don't like you, they don't know you.
When they don't want to hear,
they ignore without fear.

They go about their days, stay happy and nappy.
Don't worry about grandmama or pappy.

They don't tell you they like you,
when they know they don't,
and they give no promises,
because they know they won't.

Nicholl McGuire


That's What White People Do - What Does that Mean?

When something is done that is foreign to the mind of an African American male or female that has lived on this planet a lot longer than most of us, out comes the following statement, "That's what white people do."  A white person runs in the woods naked and plays with animals, expected.  A black person, not so much.  A white person jumps down from a tall mountain into the water below, expected.  A black person, not so much.  A white man gets jailed for doing strange things with a certain part of his anatomy, expected.  A black person, not so much.  These are simply examples of how some blacks view funny, yet strange white world.

Now I don't know where to find the list, secret society, or manual on what whites do that is so different than blacks and why black folks need to stay away from it, but if I find it, I will surely share it--I hope you know I am being funny.  But seriously, there are many differences between American blacks and non-blacks depending on where one is from, what influences he or she has grown up with, and most of all what is in one's DNA.  Black or not, we are going to misunderstand one another sooner or later.  So while blacks are saying, "That's what white people do..."  Whites are pointing out, "Well, that's what those blacks do."  And both statements are most likely followed with, "So you don't do it!"  That is if one is talking to a child.  But if you are an adult, you just know that might be an action you stay away from if you want to be approved in a predominately black or white club/church/family.

Dismissive statements like, "We are just people, different hues, but people!" are foolish!  Sure, we are people, but we have a lot going on with all of us.  Some people are just known for doing strange, out of the box things, while others are not.  Some people are just funny while others are not.  Some people just have a knack for making more money while others are not.  There are some facts about people that we simply can't escape from.  Now, when we add to the word "people" and start putting a color, gender, sex, religion, or some other description in front of the word, and add a bit more detail, then the one who is writing is considered ignorant and perpetuating stereotypes.  I'm not going to go that far and draft a list of what makes blacks and whites different from one another, but what I will say is that when I hear someone say, "That's what white people do..." nowadays, I can find black folks on YouTube and elsewhere doing the same stupid, backward sort of things and I just drop my head.

Some blacks are just not going to fit in any box no matter how hard you try to stuff them.  They are out there!  They are doing what white people do!  And they are loving it too.  They took what Martin Luther King said about freedom and jumped off the mountaintop!  But then there are some blacks, who just need to quit while they are ahead.  Some are just trying too hard to fit in, fakers!  They aren't being themselves, they are being somebody else! 

When one allows his or herself to be a blank, white canvas and walk into a predominately white atmosphere, you best believe there is going to be an artist or two that is going to want to paint on you.  "What shall we create?  What might we call you?"  From a relationship to a work environment, someone is going to want to handle the black guy or gal.  Before long, Tee-Tee Johnson (a fictional name) from around the way is Theresa Meadows (another fictional name), who is an affluent, aspiring, articulate...whatever doing whoever.  The artist has created his masterpiece. 

Here is yet another example for you to think about concerning that statement, "That's what white people do!"  Joey used to love chicken and waffles, but now that he is dating Ginger he is eating sushi.  His black grandma says, "Now boy, that's what white people do!"  Ginger gasps, she thinks, "Doesn't his grandmother see that I'm white?"  She could care less!  Ginger is lucky to even be in the same room with grandma.  You see, back in grandma's day, whites did their thing and blacks did theirs on the other side of town.  So grandma learned what white people did, because she worked for them.   

These days have we not seen such things take place with reality show characters over the years, changing their ways for that almighty dollar being waved around by white hands?  How about certain first ladies--hmm!?  Not-so outspoken, like back in the day, first lady appears to be more docile, conservative, mellow.  Oh yes, the rich, white world knows how to tame loud mouths when they want to and when they need to arouse her, look out!  "What the...? Who the?  Ya'll need to tell them who I am!"  These days that's what white people are trying to do on some of these reality shows (and even at your family get-togethers,) bring that black emotion, it boosts ratings, does it not?  Viewers need to stop giving the drama attention and just maybe producers would put some of the attitude from blacks and non-blacks to rest, but I digress.

I recognize that white, red, yellow, black, and other folks have their way of doing things and I'm not going to be a fool and say, "Oh well, that's just people being people!  Because there is more to it, then "people being people," the truth of the matter is, we are more than just people!   We have minds, bodies and spirits!  Behind the skin hues, there are spirits at work, and some are not about feeding one's soul with all things good; rather, some are more interested in taking from one's soul and filling it up with all things bad!  That's why it is never a good thing to go anywhere and be someone's blank, white canvas!  And just in case you don't believe me, look at the entertainers who were good girls and guys turned bad!  Check out some of the people in your own family who were once tolerable to be around, but since they got with this one and that one, they are all messed up!  There are some spirits, like some tribes, that don't need to do anything more than just stay where they are! It's not prejudice, prideful or crazy, just leave them be!  What's crazy is trying to do something, without evaluating whether it is right, but because it's "white," so to speak, you do it!  If "white" people do something and blacks aren't doing it, some will want to color it up! Huh!? Yep.  Look at the sports world. 

Well, for some black and non-black rich folks, it's all about the dollar and if someone is willing to be the black guinea pig, even if it's wrong, they will take everyone to hell with them and deal with the consequences later.  I direct you to black entertainment media once again!

So when blacks folks ignorantly tell me that white folks do some strange things, I have to laugh, because there are many blacks and non-blacks that are just as strange, and they only keep getting stranger!

Nicholl McGuire

If the Slave Mentality Still Exists, then Where Did the Slave Master's Mentality Go?

Look around and you will see evidences of the slave mentality amongst the African American populace both on and off the Internet.  See the entertainers and listen to the words they say.  Have you ever read the lyrics of some of those so-called billboard top-charting artists?  Ignorance still abounds, my friends.  And so, if ignorance is still being perpetuated around the world, then where has the slave master gone?  He is still running the show, but using his mind, rather than whipping on a you know what's behind!

The slave master is in hiding--ruling from afar.  His pyramid is tall, his circle is deep, and you can't touch him or his family.  You aren't welcome at his dinner table unless there is something in it for him.  He is still a racist, a liar, a cheat, manipulative, and crazy!  His slave master mentality, inherited from his "great" relatives of yesteryear, has gone no where!  His DNA spreads like wildfire.  His wife and children keep his evil going, they do his bidding with smiles on their faces claiming, "Peace, peace!"  When in fact, it is "War, war!"  The slave master hasn't destroyed his plantation, he just moved it. 

Listen in on his conversation, whether he is in the form of a boss, husband, teacher, friend or foe, when he is amongst other slave masters.  Are you invited?    It doesn't matter that his wife/her husband is black and children are bi-racial, mulatto, intermixed...unless there has been a significant change in the bloodline, like ridding one's self of generational demonic influences from the past, the slave master mentality is still there.  And you wondered why some relatives were protective of the family bloodline by any means necessary.  Elders warned the youth in the family of what was to come and they didn't preach a Martin Luther King friendly kind of speech either.  They knew the slave master had an agenda and he didn't mind picking from the best of his litter to get his desires met. He dangled a carrot or two over decades and blacks and non-blacks took a bite.  But his agenda wasn't all-together good, so now enters the programming to make blacks butlers and slaves yet again-- have you noticed something off about some of the movies that have come out in recent years--a step back is it not?  "No more black empowerment, black pride, black president, black all-stars, black superheroes--no more," some of the white, rich and powerful say in so many words while many poor whites yell, "Agree!"  Have you looked at some of the comments on Youtube related to blacks?  So you know I'm not making anything up.  The racist rich say, "Yeah, let's get them married to their own kind (hence another movie), wearing a dress (disempowerment) or whatever it takes! Blacks are everywhere!"   

Ever wonder why some black people bend over backwards for non-blacks while they don't think much of their own people?  The slave mentality was perpetuated by an elder in his or her family that advised, "Do good with those white people and you get far in life," says a grandmother whose father was a slave.  "Blacks ain't got nothin'!  Ain't about nothin'! Move where dem white folks is and you will stay out of trouble!" says the son of a former slave.  Now if these advisements are easy to understand, and you know or knew of a few people like this in your own family, then think about this, if the slave mentality is still being pushed in your own family, then what do you think is going on in a non-black family whose family history had a few slave masters in it?

There is more to why some blacks and whites hate interracial relationships.  Why some blacks are disturbed about predominately white organizations and distrust those who "just love dem some white folks," while running from so-called white religion, because they see the slave master's mentality rise up when around people like this.  These people exude a controlling, oppressive, and possessive spirit!  Something doesn't look or smell right about some of them. 

Why would a black mother push her sons to date white women or a black father tell his black daughter to attend a predominately white university?  It isn't because they want them to have only the best, at least so they think, but it is because somewhere in their backgrounds of ignorance someone told them, as I have said in another blog entry, "That white is right."  The young man doesn't recognize the brainwashing put upon him by others.  The young lady doesn't realize that her choices have been influenced by her parents.  They go along with programming!  They make programming a part of them.  They look at what's around them and see everything that is "ugly, wrong" and overlook what is beautiful and right.  If master says, "Ugly!"  It doesn't matter it is what it is.

The slave recognizes his master, listens to his master, and does what is best for his master.  Somewhere in his DNA, he knows his master's voice.  If his master says, "Now slave, we must embrace all peoples, it's time." He says, "Okay, master I will love dem all."  If the master says, "Serve my god, he is going to meet your needs..." The slave will say, "Okay, I will not only serve him, but I will believe in whatever you say, because you are like God!"  Then later the gullible, unwise fool learns that what he thought was a righteous God was nothing more than a false god who was more interested in keeping him a slave.  We all have access to the Holy Bible, but there is also a Holy Ghost that can provide truth, so why do the so-called spiritual fail to recognize him too?  They rather worship the slave master and believe in all his promises while using hard-earned money to further his agenda.

Why are some covert racist, white people, who carry that slave master's spirit, so protective of a black person/mate/friend/worker in their circle?  Why are these same people so dependent on their black help?  Why would some threaten, hurt, or deal with blacks so harshly as compared to others who are non-black?  Why steal ideas/thoughts/writings/property from a black person?  Think about it, a slave master's mentality is about owning his property, protecting his property, training his property, keeping his property with him, and expecting his property to do, what?  Make money!  It doesn't matter if the black man is in a relationship with a non-black or working in corporate America with many non-blacks, if he doesn't produce in a way that a slave does (work from sun up to sun down) those with a slave master's mentality/a controlling spirit will sit him down to talk, before letting him go, bringing him back, letting him go, and all the while killing his spirit.  "You will will will do as I say...If it wasn't for me...I helped owe me!"  Oh, some of us blacks got a little of that slave master's spirit that has yet to go, especially if you are all mixed up!  You can think like a white slave master on one day and then think like a black slave the next.

In your study of black history, you may have been bombarded with the slave mentality studies to the point that you can see an unwise black a mile away, he or she is forever loving all things not black, but what about the slave master, can you see him or her?  Maybe not as good as you should.  We live in a world that wants all of us to love all people (nothing is wrong with that).  But, I'm not about to love people with my eyes shut, and you shouldn't either.

If you don't know by now, the extremely prosperous of our land are the slave masters--white as well as black and everyone in between.  It is in their bloodlines to keep slaves in their place whether in an intimate relationship, at the workplace, in the church, civic group, military, jail, local bar, wherever with whoever!  As long as you drink, eat, be merry, and obey, you are alright with your master.  But write a letter exposing truth, have an eye-opening conversation that points out his or her flaws, visit with the slave master who may not like your kind, organize a protest, separate/break up/divorce, or do anything else that tells your handler, "I quit, I'm not working for or with you anymore!" Then look out!

What did slave master's do back in the day?  They beat their slaves, maimed them, raped them, kicked them off the plantation, took their mates and children away, cursed them, used other slaves to break them down, made them ill, murdered them--you name it!  So when a person warns you about certain people, don't be so quick to call them, "Ignorant!" when you don't know about the tribe you are so in love with!  Even the God in the Holy Bible, warned his people repeatedly about those rebellious tribes who served other gods.

My friend, the slave master hasn't died, he just moved off the plantation and multiplied.

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

Will a Man Leave His Marriage for the Other Woman?


Negative, Broke People will Recruit Negative, Broke People

I know so many blacks who hate it when their own people (aunts, cousins, nieces, daughters, sons, etc.) do well in life!  For years, they had secretly or openly wished evil on others and now they can't even smile right when something good happens to their own bloodline.  I realized just what was keeping the haters hatin' and not prayin' and that was they refused to think positively, they didn't want to change the way they thought about this one and that one!  Sad, but true.  They rather work hard to be negative and focus on what So and So has; rather than try to fulfill their own dreams.  It was far easier for some of these people to sit back and run their mouths, then get off the couch and lose weight that they had been saying they were going to lose, fix up their homes, change jobs, stay out of jail, stop lying and cheating, and a whole host of other things!

It seems simple, right?  Just start thinking positive and your life will surely change.  It is that simple! However, the more a person holds on to the same broke, negative people around him or her just because they are familiar, have titles, did one or two favors from way back in the day, they permit these people to keep feeding them a toxic diet of negativity!  It isn't any wonder that people remain where they live, do what they do, and never fully enjoy life.  "Well, I like my life, I don't bother nobody.  I think its crazy to be going off with some white folks somewhere...what kind of mess are you getting into now?  You going to keep messing around doing all of what you are doing and they going to get you..."  Oh yes, that is what negativity sounds like and then some wonder why are our people getting hooked up with everyone, but their own race?  I will tell you because there is a breed of people within the black community that isn't limited by skin color, ignorance, gender, an impoverished mentality, old wise tales, stereotypes, and twisted ideologies designed to keep them oppressed.  Intelligent people seek truth outside a box of skin tones, regular church attendance, over-priced education, and immature, unwise relatives.  There are smart blacks that can be trusted and you don't have to take the white man's word for it!

For instance, think of those individuals who left the hood and left everyone behind in the dust and went on and became successes in life and I'm not just talking about fame, power, and money either.  I am talking about individuals who live in contentment and their exterior proves it!  Mind, body and spirit reflects success--the kind you can't put a price tag on or check online to see if they have a bunch of "likes."  

Why didn't the most successful in your family come back to your holiday celebrations, funerals, or visit grandma in the hood?  Because they remembered the last time--they recalled the negative vibe.  The successful didn't want to come back to a majority of unwilling, negative people who refuse to work/pray/build/grow or do anything else for self or others!  You know the type, "I don't speak to him...I don't deal with her...he did me wrong he didn't come to my son's game...I needed some money and bruh gave me an empty card, he should have helped me, all I did for him...I don't understand why people don't come and see me!" 

Successful people have learned that where they are being physically, mentally and spiritually fed the most, they can see the fruits of their service and money, these people are going to stay, they don't come back to lack!  An ex doesn't come back to cursing and cheating when she is doing well in her personal life.  A daughter doesn't bother with parents who often badmouth.  A son will forget his mother exists if she keeps berating him.  An employee isn't going back to a place he doesn't feel he is appreciated.  So why would you expect someone to come back just because of one thing or another--the kind of things that don't help people come up higher!  Having the same name, a title, or even a brotherhood or sisterhood association doesn't make anyone special in the eyes of a person who is focused on getting ahead-- so what?  How long does someone have to wait to get some help when he or she has a family in need? Energy sappers know how to take and take until they kill their loved ones.  How much time and money does one has to invest in a loveless relationship, weak business, or tired friendship before one day throwing up his or her hands and saying, "I give up!  You just aren't going to change, are you?  You are bringing me down with all your negative talk!"

No amount of guilt-tripping, story-telling, hoping, wishing, praying, or anything else is going to call the successful back when they are at the top of their games!  If anything, content people who care about you are going to try to get you in on their success--that is if you show any interest or they notice that you are one of those people who is making some effort to change your mindset--grow independently from the family's views.  However, the minute a focused person hears, "I can't...I don't know...I don't think...what about..." statements come out of your mouth, they leave you alone.  They stop calling, texting, emailing, or visiting broke folks--I kid you not!

Every person that I have met this past summer in various circles where they were either starting a project, joining others to complete a project, or were currently marketing existing projects, they had no time for broke, negative people and it didn't matter what civic group they belonged to, who they knew, and if they were family, "No time."  I had one tell me, "Don't even give my phone number out to relatives--I don't deal with them!"  Unless someone was genuinely interested in assisting these hardworkers out in some way, they had no time to take anyone by the hand and show them anything!  Either you observed what you could over their shoulders, caught them when they weren't on fire with their own projects, or sat with them at a related business event, "...they couldn't talk, had to go, got things to do, but love you!"

Of course, mean-spirited people would complain, "Oh, so you can't call me back...I don't understand why our people is always...I mean why can't they reach back and help...Just going to forget about us...!"  Yes, that is what I heard the haters say about the star players seated outside of their circles.  And I will tell you that when you shake those negative voices and stop holding yourself back from moving to a different state, getting a better job, building a business, learning new things, visiting new places, trying new foods, marrying someone you truly love, having a baby, or whatever else you want to do, people will just look at you while trying real hard to find fault with you.  Even the talented children caught some of the evil-speaking, staring or the silent treatment too, because So and So's child wasn't a part of this or that, did one take up time with their children so that they can do well?  Haters even blocked their own children from being a part of quality programs and experiences, because they couldn't stand the fact that someone they didn't like was involved, they didn't have the money, they didn't want to shuttle their children around...they had things to do!  Haters who refused to do nothing more than act below average and recruit their innocent children to act the same.

The same people who might have told you, "I know you are going to be someone in this world!  I believe in you!" are also the same people who broke you down and even attempted to recruit you to be as broke and negative as them!

If you have been struggling for days, weeks, months, even years trying to make something happen in your life, don't worry anymore!  Get yourself around people who can help you, fill your mind up with, "I can do, I will do...I will be the head and not the tail!  And I don't need my own people to validate me either!"

Until a man, woman or child makes up in his or her mind to stop thinking negatively and focusing his or her attention on "What might happen, what could be, what if, what they think," he or she will be left behind by those people who move far away and say, "It's my time to shine!"  Is it really?  "Yes, it is!"

Nicholl McGuire

African American Woman 32 Years Old Dating a 23 Year Old - What Does She See in Him?

Psalm 58 - What God is Doing to Liars, Wicked People for Those Who Neede...

Father of White Girl Rejects Black Boyfriend. What Would You Do?


Why Black Men Tend To Choose Ratchet Women Over Good Women?

Media Encouraging More Interracial Couples Dating/Marrying

The old school mentality of blacks and whites just being friends, and nothing more is dying off. One in 12 couples are interracial. With the help of a media push, you will see more and more of the mixing of races whether you encourage or discourage it. This is the future of America--more shades of brown than ever before. In other countries, interracial dating is nothing to cry or shout about, but why this country? Racism still exists.


Eastern Star Funeral Service and What is the Order of the Eastern Star

Order of the Eastern Star: Ladies of the Labyrinth Learn more about the history of white dominated organizations created by men before you join them, see here.


Slow Down Before Ending Black Love

With so many people getting married and then later divorcing across the color lines, it isn't any wonder that the children grow up not having healthy relationships.  But all too often, some African American sons and daughters are realizing later in life just how dysfunctional their households were during childhood and why they can't ssem to get along with their own ethnicity of people.  From repeated emotional and physical abuses to absentee parents, a single man or woman is bringing a whole lot of baggage into his relationship when he or she doesn't spend enough alone time to sort out his or her life and heal from painful experiences.

A young black man reasons in his mind, "I can't get along with black women...they are all the same!" So off he goes trying one ethnicity after the next (like slipping on pairs of sneakers) in the hopes that he can find someone outside of his skin color, culture and neighborhood that can complete him.  In time, he learns how to adapt to his surroundings and will even alter his voice, attire, and other things just to get along with his non-black partner and her family.  Self-hatred runs wild with some of our people; therefore, we can't wonder why some black couples can't get along.  Black parents still encouraging sons and daughters to choose white, live where there is white, shop where there is white, and do what's right for white, are helping perpetuate racism!  So they can't keep blaming "The Man" for anything when you are programming children to think that there is nothing better than white being alright--what!?  With this kind of programming, if a man or woman always wanted to pick from a different tree, no amount of sweet-talking, loving, or buying for them, black woman and black man, is going to make either one of them stay in the marital relationship. 

Black love can be especially difficult when everyone around the couple are at war with one another or has a long history of love interests gone wrong.  The so-called foundation for some of these couples is built on nothing more than dry land full of tumbleweeds.  Love's rain showers hasn't been seen in months!

The black woman too emotional, the black man too critical is a common look for many.  This isn't to say that non-blacks don't have that problem, but for purposes of this blog, this writer is not talking about them.  The black woman desires her man be more pro-active in their relationship; rather than being interested in this lady (or man) and that one outside of the relationship.  The man makes excuses.  While his woman is trying to heal from past abuses.  This is just a reflection of what the state of black love looks like for many as you read this.  If some, who call themselves children of God, would take a moment with Him, they could truly see what many of our black sisters and brothers relationships really look like behind closed doors!

Black couples will not get along with one another as long as there are two individuals living separate lives, unwilling to share too much of anything, distrust one another, and are overall disappointed in their life's decisions.  For instance, a wife persuades her husband to do something that he really doesn't want to do, then years later, he suddenly realizes that he has been living his life in the way his wife wanted him to.  A husband demands that his wife stop doing something that is beneficial to the community, for one reason or another.  Rather than support her, her husband is often very critical.  In time, the wife resents her husband for not being there for her.  Once again, don't wonder why you will see more of us in the future going off the deep end due to unresolved relationship issues whether married or not?  Sure, how one starts a relationship is a good indication of how the future might look, but what is really happening between two people who supposedly love one another?  There is no honest communication--people are avoiding the issues that make them feel uncomfortable.  Couples don't know how to be loving, but they have years of experience knowing how to fight one another--am I right?

It is challenging enough being black and not welcome, even today, in some groups, workplaces, and neighborhoods, but when you can't sit down and converse with your man or woman about the ills of the day, it's sad.  He is fearful that his woman is going to go off like she did the last time when he brought up XYZ.  She is worried that he is going to threaten her like he did last year when she said ABC.

Somehow some way we all have got to shake off past offenses, look beyond our hurt feelings, and do what's right in the best interest of our relationships, because if we don't, the alternatives aren't much better ie.) black women and white men, white women and black men, Asian and black, Mexican and black, etc.  It really doesn't matter the skin hue they all have issues, but what does matter is the culture and what is being taught in one's family in regard to what exactly does it mean to be a black woman or man in America and then it gets more complex when you are a spiritual black man or woman.  The answer to this question is more than what you look like (even though some racists would like to keep you in that frame of mind.)  Personally, for me I answered this question based on what the world around me thought of me for years until I managed to get comfortable in my own skin by appreciating blacks who came before me and broke glass ceilings.   However, it is a non-issue for some because they are far removed from all things black, so when one is treated differently than those who aren't black, then the ignorant will ask, "Who am I really?"  He or she doesn't know and when one doesn't know anything about self, he has no cause to stand on!  There is no custom, tradition, language--nothing!   No matter what ethnicity you connect to through sex, marriage or both, all people have something wrong with them, some more than others!  So why not stick it out with the one who knows you--really knows you, black skin and all!   

If you were to envision a real future with that hot looking mama or fine looking man it would consist of more drama, inner conflict, family objections, false assumptions, health issues, just another myriad of things that once again you would have to deal with in a new relationship (sigh).  So if the black man isn't whipping on you, and your not dead yet from your woman's hurtful words, why not work together to make your relationship work; rather than going elsewhere?

There are all sorts of programs out there to help us with relationship challenges.  There are books, videos, and music that encourage us to stay together.  There simply is no excuse why we can't make it when help is out there, but you have to be willing to come up out of your shell, put away everybody's ignorant opinion of "What I would do if I were you..." and just do the d*mn thang!  But keep in mind, there are all sorts of programs in place to keep us at war with one another too.  Watch out for people who are all-too-eager to help you break it off with your man or woman especially if he or she is non-black. 

So with that said, if you were one of my readers who was thinking about breaking it off with your man or woman, be sure that you have done everything you could in your current relationship, before focusing all your attention on a new face at your job, church, civic group, or somewhere else.  You never know if the next apple you bite is the one that will kill you.

Nicholl McGuire


Gospel Vibes, Walking In Faith - Blog Talk Radio

Inspirational show with Indie music and interviews, enjoy!
Independent artists are welcome to share their MP3s with the radio show host, so tune in for more information!

Teachers, Prophets within the Family, Fake, Forgetful, Foolish!


It's All Black or Nothing at All

I have met some of the most interesting people in my life who were dedicated to all things black!  From the black cars to the black groups, everything, except their workplace of course, was decorated in black!  Now I love me some black too, my black "peoples," black lifestyle, black conversation...but I also have enough sense to know that our world isn't visually all black!  In order to survive, I have to get along with people who don't look, talk, or act like me.  Now that's common sense, right?  But for some, it's all black or nothing at all.  Some folks will disrupt peace, love and hair grease (so to speak) just to ensure that whatever they are grappling with on the inside is made manifest on the outside--misery indeed loves company!  A bamboozled, hood-winked black on a mission to educate black folks on all things black for all the wrong reasons can be a threat to the black establishment, not a help.

Yesterday, in a previous blog entry, I posted a former Christian minister who exposes how whites had went into parts of Africa and took stories from these lands and placed them in the Holy Bible as well as other interesting information.  I thought that some wouldfind his research entertaining, but also thought-provoking because many blacks believe in these types of teaching wholeheartedly. 

Now, I'm a Christian bible-reader and I suspected some funny business a long time ago with the Holy Scriptures (that's why I asked the Holy Ghost to guide me through the Bible) after much prayer and fasting, but the tomfoolery in some of the text and missing parts, didn't keep me from a relationship with a personal Creator.  I got that experience without need of man, woman or child--praise God!  But I was surprised, that a man with 30 years in the ministry couldn't rise above the white Jesus photographs, the questionable biblical history, and anything else the white man did (like use the bible to brainwash blacks during slavery).  When it came to the Holy text, this former Christian was to allow the Holy Ghost to guide him, but rather he let a group of men at a meeting show him their own way.  He now denounces his faith and does it with his over-the-top preacher sounding voice!

I thought this man was a good case study of how the sick get sicker when it comes to religion in general.  I don't consider myself religious, but spiritual that's why I talk this.

Think of the following for a moment.  A sick man, who was in need of something, finds a faith and sells out for it.  Then along comes a group of men, who look like him, and tells the poor man, "That's wrong, try this..." then he sells out for the new religion.  Yet, what happens?  Gradually, the man realizes that whatever illness he had before he met the men, it has only worsened since his new faith--new levels, new devils.  Now he is in search of yet more teachings, people, and places to heal him.  But the healing never comes.  So he looks for temporary satisfaction in sharing his enlightened knowledge with those who he considers inferior to him.

Surrounding one's self with all things black brings nothing more than a temporary diversion from one's mental illness--a hatred of whatever didn't work, wasn't right, or didn't look like whoever. Instead of empowering blacks with the kind of knowledge that will better them economically, spiritually, physically--notice many speakers are overweight--the enemy distracts spirtually empowered men with the kinds of things that disempower them like what the white man is and isn't doing for starters. 

The day an African American sits down from an outdated black cause, a challenging black partner, and a tired black bar or church, what does he or she have left?  A black hole for a heart and it is then that this person looks to have it filled up with just about anything that looks and feels like its for him--its all black or nothing at all for some or all white or nothing at all depending on how deep the self-hatred goes.

If you are in search of something to heal you from past pains, free you of present day burdens, or show you The Way to your future--whatever that might mean to you, I would have to challenge you to go see a doctor--not the human kind, but one who is a master at healing the sick, casting demons out, bringing peace to a chaotic situation...the one true Master, Great Teacher, Most High, The Holy One!  His name isn't white Jesus either, matter of fact, the truth be told, one must go to the Creator for his or her self and ask him to reveal the name of your personal Savior, what do some call Him? Who do you say I AM?  Have you been introduced to I AM and we aren't talking about Satan's counterfeit "i am" either.

Nicholl McGuire

Pin Us!

Black Business Women Online

Join Nicholl at the Black Business Women Online Site here.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


African American Planet Blog Topics

african american spirituality african american relationships african american celebrities african american family poems african american men african american parents spiritual african americans african american women black music manipulative media money relationships white american racism african american be encouraged dating black history african american hairstyles african american poets family issues Barack Obama african american achievers african american business african american mothers african american thoughts african american health issues black history month racism abuse african american music domestic violence education gospel music african american churches african american documentaries african american history african american lifestyle african american movies american holidays narcissism africa african american dating african american friendships african american scholarships black women first black president interracial relationships not african american self hate soul food white people african american bloggers african american children african american entertainment african american fathers african american travel black business blog owner ghetto slavery african american christian women african american christians african american education african american elite african american haircare african american leaders african american news angry black man angry black woman freemasons mind control shopping spiritual warfare african american authors african american books african american culture african american museums african american skin care african american writers ancestry black american racism black celebrities black celebrity masons black love black skin cheating civil rights ignorant black people martin luther king barack obama mental issues about us absent fathers african american deceivers african american inventors african american marriages african american media african american statistics african american television networks african american workers african americans and africans angry blacks black grandmothers dark skin death fraternal organizations friendships illuminati prejudice president barack obama rb music groups religion sex travel abusive women african american communities african american magazines african american occult african american preachers african american speakers african american wigs african americans workplace angry black women black american ignorance black education black greek organizations black panthers party black preachers black racists black singles blacks with an attitude celebrities and god crazy blacks funny stuff hip hop culture jealous women love michael jackson natural disasters obama campaign postpartum depression president elect barack obama racial problems racist republicans secret societies unemployment voter privacy youtubers Obama a abusive men african american art african american audio books african american beauty african american brothers african american community african american cuisine african american dating sites african american dining african american drama african american genealogy african american hair loss african american heritage african american holidays african american home owners african american homosexuality african american idols african american lawyers african american mental illness african american music videos african american natural hair african american political prisoners african american religion african american researchers african american russia african american self-hate african american sex african american soldiers african american toys african american voters african americans jail african consciousness aunt tammy big girls biracial people black athletes black dating services black inventors black men and white women black people attitude black stereotypes blessings and curses boule brainwashed blacks children activities chris brown controlling black folks controlling men controlling women difficult people down low celebrities faith fema camps financial assistance funny black people gay black men gossip government homosexuals internet dating laboring to love an abusive mate liars light skin lottery menopause military music videos obese black people old school pedophilia positivity post traumatic slave syndrome poverty prayers schizophrenia self esteem senator barack obama skin bleaching sports surveys twitter uncle tom whistleblowers African American parade African American producers African American women in science Haiti Obama sworn in abortion affirmative action african american bookstores african american chinese african american clothing styles african american drug dealers african american gamers african american gifts african american girls african american gods african american grandparents african american grants african american heterosexuality african american korea african american latin america african american ministers african american models african american online surfing african american opinion african american paintings african american photographers african american photography african american police officers african american population control african american prostitution african american radio shows african american samoan african american singles african american skincare african american sons african american studies african american thinking african american tips african american transhumanists african american weaves african american women groups african american women inventors african american women makeup african americans respect african americans workers african art african decor african food african history anger management angry atlanta bisexual black men black English people black alliance for just immigration black american quotations black art websites black attitudes black celebrity children black cinema black conscious community black conscious women black dolls black elite groups black feminists black leadership black men black national anthem black nationalism black people and summer time black population control black radio stations black scholars black sitcoms black toys boxer break ups childhood childless women chris rock christina milian civil war classic black movies classism cold-blooded african americans colorism communication community assistance confrontation construction in haiti constructive criticism counselors dating violence deceased black legends depression diversity eastern stars ebola educated blacks effeminate african american men elderly black folks employment eugenics exes false flags fat african americans fearful blacks food stamps fools free stuff french african funny african americans funny black man funny black woman generational curses gifted african americans going green good black men haiti earthquake haiti fault line happiness harlem helpful links hidden medical experiments high blood pressure highly sensitive blacks hip hop fashion hip hop satanism honest black folk housing assistance how to approach a black woman how to get exposure on this site hurricane relief insecure women internet israel jamaicans jealous men juneteenth keep it real kwanzaa loud mouth blacks lynching malcom x manhood manmade earthquakes memorial day michael jackson children mother michelle obama mike tyson mike tyson daughter minority women scholarships misogyny moors motivation multiracial celebrities music lyrics negro spirituals nelson mandela nicole richie nonblack offended blacks overweight african americans paranoid patience patti labelle paula abdul perimenopause police poor african americans population control prideful prostate cancer and black men reality shows recycling relatives reprobate mind revenge reverse discrimination rhianna rich african americans samples and trials scary blacks self righteous sexual harassment siblings skull and bones slow jams social issues social networking sociopaths sometimey black folks strange black folks superstition terri seymore the man tired black man tired black woman trends unemotional ungrateful black folks voodoo war white perspective on african american issues wisdom women friends work at home

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems?

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems?
Like this blog? Check this one out too!

Blog Dash

African American View on You Blogger/Owner

African American Planet Blog

African American Planet Blog
Writer, Poet, Author, Speaker, Virtual Assistant Nicholl McGuire
Creative Commons License
African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.