It's a Fight to Appreciate Ignorant White and They Ain't Always Right

When a person has eye-rolled, deep sighed, ignored, or said something offensive to you, it's hard at times to forgive and forget or keep quiet.  It can be even more challenging when you have gone through verbal as well as non-verbal battles with ignorant white people who just "don't get you...what's wrong with you people...why do black people always...I never knew that about black people...." Sigh.

What is also a challenge these days for me is dealing with our ignorant kinfolk, who still have the mentality that because someone is "white" they are right, smarter, friendlier, more helpful, patient, or whatever else they have been programmed to believe or their limited personal experiences has suggested.  I don't know if that programming has resurfaced because some wealthy blacks are making some good money in investments since this President has been in office, but I digress. 

I have trouble appreciating ignorant white people or anyone else that assumes a skin color somehow makes you better.  Not that long ago, I told my children I see that you have no problem doing as you are told when your white teachers tell you to do something, but as a black woman, more specifically, your mother, you have issues.  My son corrected me, "Oh I don't listen to them either."  What!?  Yep.  My own personal belief had been shattered.  "You should be listening to all of us then and doing the right thing," was my response.  Funny, how color programming from yesteryear has a way of showing back up again. 

Lately, the ignorance has been much, too much!  I can't educate or give all these ignorant white people I come across a great experience being in the presence of a black woman such as myself.  I get tired and angry sometimes too!  Our plate was served to us black women long ago by affluent brothers and sisters who told our generation don't give them white folks anything negative to talk about that reinforces their stereotypical view of our people--represent for all of us well.  Burnt out! 

Sooner or later the wrong thing is going to be said yet again, you know that.  "Rise above it" is what I hear in the spirit.  Yes, but it's hard, real hard especially when movies are out there reminding the world once again about blacks, slavery, freedom, and overcoming obstacles while at the same time reminding whites about the power their ancestors wielded over our ancestors and how they can systematically once again use the sins of the pasts to control the future once again. They don't put movies out like Harriett for nothing.  Meanwhile, I think of our brown sisters and brothers who may be so inspired to get FREEDOM for themselves while watching that movie--maybe that was a part of a bigger plan, huh?

Yes, it is a challenge dealing with the ignorance all around, but remember as much as they want you to see the so-called "right" in their ways, always keep both eyes open not just one, I see you!

Nicholl McGuire

Ignoring Behavior Among African Americans

Have you ever been around an unfamiliar group or an individual of your ethnicity only to be treated like an insect they are trying to avoid?  Well this tends to happen with some African Americans for some disturbing reasons that might be tied to the self-hate epidemic we have been reading and talking about in recent years.  Not all our people are the same nor do they have their minds intact as we all know.

Not that long ago, I noticed an older African American woman in a predominately white setting trying to avoid eye contact with me.  It was strange since I repeatedly saw her around and still the same.  I was new to the group and took it upon myself to walk over and speak to her as well as others.  She was unfortunately not as pleasant as the others, so I assumed it was because I didn't catch on to her name after she mentioned it twice, but oh well.  All smiles and continued to talk with the group.  But on other occasions I noticed still the avoidance, looking away, down and around.  I was dressed conservatively and didn't spend time in groups gossiping, but I noticed she did.  

Then there was another setting I recall where I was told by a worker that she didn't go over and talk to another African American in the same group, to that I asked, "Why?"  She said it was understood by the pair in advance (they had talked out of view before the meeting), that they "didn't want the white people to think anything."  Huh?  What year are we in?

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  The slave mentality of not talking while master is around is still being passed down generation after generation.  The funny thing about that concept is the one who is being told to "be quiet" and "act like you don't know me" is usually the one who just might throw you under the bus too!

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So sometimes the ignoring behavior is done on purpose and understood, but to the younger populace not so much.  Why go out of your way to ignore someone who you just might have something in common with regardless of their skin tone, background, or personal beliefs?  I believe the ignoring behaviors are done at times because blacks think the worse of one another and other times it is strategically done for reasons that only those who are doing it know.

Every now and again the ignoring mannerisms I think is due to some of our people falsely assume that "you must be like..." whoever or whatever, because of your accent, appearance, or mannerisms and so they shy away.  However, I have been pleasantly surprised over the years to meet people who I thought were one way only to found out something totally different once I talked to them.

What about when you are in a store, traveling, or a part of a group related to your child's school and there are possibly other black people around, is there any effort made to speak to the black newcomer?  How about when there is a discussion taking place between a black and a non-black, do you feel comfortable interrupting or is there a silent code or a look given that says, "Don't come over here.  This white person has already reached her quota of black friends and you can't be one of them."--lol

The false assumptions and ignoring behaviors are in one word "ridiculous" among our kin.  

Nicholl McGuire author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues. 

About Our People...

There comes a time when you just have to let some folks go, because if you don't they will keep you behind! It doesn't matter what title they hold in your family tree or how much they have done for you in the past--their ignorance is just not going to change no matter how much you reason it away!

Over the years, I have had the opportunity to meet some very interesting people in my life, you know the kind who are progressive, wealthy and know what they want out of life type of African Americans. They also know who they want to spend the rest of their lives with sharing their good fortune too! Can I just say, that the common denominator between these people is they don't fool around with "our people!" You might say, "Well what do you mean? What they don't deal with blacks?" Oh these people deal with blacks, but they don't deal with a certain type of black--the ignorant ones.

Some of you know who I am talking about, matter of fact, he or she is in the next room! As ghetto as she wants to be, we love her, but she has issues. As ghetto as he wants to be, we love him, but he should have gotten some help a long time ago!

In a world of technological advances in just about every category known to man and continuous strides of minorities all across the world, there are those outdated, wrong, or just plain strange statements that ignorant blacks keep circulating! You basically know where you stand with some black folks just by what comes out of their mouths!

Here are the following 10 ignorant statements I have heard in recent years.

1. "If you have 1% black in you, you are black!"

I don't care about an old law created by racist individuals! Let's look at reality for a minute. So you expect a child to deny the white, Asian, Mexican or some other half side of he or she just because this person may have a prominent nose or lips, tan skin, and/or kinky hair? I think some blacks are haters, because they wish they could pass for white--lol.

2. "You can trust dem folks more than your own peoples."

Now really? So because he or she is fairer skin and talks articulate makes them trustworthy? lol

3. "You know white people is racist!"

Oh and "some" black people aren't? How about adding the word "some"!

4. "Black men got big ones."

I beg to differ, from personal experience, not every black man has a big one maybe everyone you happened to be intimate with had a big one.

5. "Get yourself a light-skin black with good hair. They make pretty looking babies."

Really? I don't think this applies to all in a light skin, dark skin relationship--some children only a mother could love. Not only that, what makes you think the child is going to inherit "straight" hair from their light-skin mom or dad or better yet, even turn out to be light-skin? Negro please!!!

6. "White people is nasty!"

Oh, so there aren't any other non-black people who are nasty? And what about some blacks who are nasty? Once again, add the word "some."

7. "Vote for the black man...vote for the black woman."

This is part of the reason how Obama got into office. You had some ignorant blacks who were telling folks to vote for him long before they knew anything about the man. They did the same thing back in the day when Jesse was running.

8. "Jesus was black."

As much as some wish this to be true, Jesus was Jewish and yes some Jews have an interesting texture of hair (many blacks like to talk about the scripture in the bible that talks about Jesus' hair texture and right away say, "See, he was black!")

9. "Put some money on the window sill to bring you good luck."

How about you put it there and one of your relatives or friends take it out the window? If money put any where in one's home brought luck, then our ancestors should have been some of the richest folks in the world, right? Instead, many was the poorest.

10. "Don't split the pole...you better not sweep my foot...don't put your purse on the floor...don't walk under a ladder..."

All these superstitious phrases are nothing more than ignorant statements to keep you in bondage! "Oh no...I split the pole...I stay broke I should have never put my purse on the floor..." Isn't there enough to worry about? Last I checked in the Bible, if one trusted in God like he or she claimed, this person wouldn't be bound to such foolishness! God delivers us from bondage!

Some of you are doing bad all by yourself, you don't need any help! Keep away from ignorant people and don't feed the fools!

Nicholl McGuire

They Prayed for Us to Have a Better Life Than They...

We work hard for our money. We want to make ourselves and others happy. We sacrifice money, time, talent, and even working hours to make sure that our families and friends are pleased. We shop for the holidays, attempting to buy the best for everyone. We spend time thinking about what gift will make them smile, what would be considered useful and how will we present it. After taking hours to wrap gifts, the much anticipated day comes to celebrate. There's only one problem, the people you tried to make happy are "fakin' the funk, trippin', acting like a fool, ungrateful, selfish, rude, ignorant..." What happened? Where did we go wrong? "Wasn't this what you wanted? I thought I would surprise you with something different," you say. "I'm sorry they didn't have what you wanted at the store," now you noticed the look on their face and you are getting angry. "I just don't have the money for a $60 game! What's with the eye roll? The attitude?" Meanwhile, you give the adults in your family their gifts thinking, "I wasn't sure if I heard a thank you. Was that a mumble or a thank you?"

I don't know about you, but I had already given up a pagan Xmas for a Happy New Year celebration with the family and still that wasn't good enough! I don't know if I am getting older and wiser or older and meaner, but I don't get it. The ones before us prayed that we would have a better life than they and now that we got it...well our offspring is ungrateful, selfish, and/or greedy. They open cards anticipating something inside. "Don't buy me a card without putting something in it!" They unwrap a gift barely looking at it and then commenting behind your back or thinking, "What is this?" They look at something and say, "Oh you got this on sale!" They bad mouth you or someone you know, "You know she is cheap. He stole that. How could she afford that? I don't need this!"

Why do we act like someone owes us something when the truth be told they don't. If they gave you the money they owe and did some things for you in the past, then that's it, right? Not with some people, they are still watching and waiting to be repaid ten, hundred times more for something they did for you back when you were a child or had a child. "Remember when I gave your child...remember I gave you that party back when you were 16. All I do for ya'll and what do I get?"

We are in a recession. People are losing their jobs. The generous don't stop because they can't afford. The stingy won't suddenly change because you did something nice. In my personal opinion, I think the generations of X,Y and Z are spoiled brats!(and even throw in those who came before XYZ are just as ungrateful and simple acting at times like the young ones.) Some have been given so much they don't even smile anymore.

So I decided that this New Year, 2010, I will be on my face asking God to bless me with the wisdom and discernment to give to those who I may have overlooked this past holiday season because I was too busy doing for ungrateful folks. I'm thinking maybe my blessing has been with a stranger all along I just failed to see it.


Nicholl McGuire

Why are Black People Nervous About Socializing with One Another in Predominately White Environments?

Someone answer this question intelligently please! Why are some blacks afraid to converse with one another when working in predominately white environments?

I have noticed blacks act fearful of talking with one another if it is more than a simple greeting or a "I'm going to lunch..." I didn't really give this any thought until someone told me that she didn't want to let her white boss know that she communicates with her fellow black co-worker. When I asked why, she said that she didn't want him to know because he might think something was up. What? You mean we are still living in slavery even at work! I thought we were like George Jefferson "moving on up"! So conversations between fellow black co-workers are to be kept on the down low for fear that master might beat us, right? In modern times that would be translated to a firing. I can hear it now white people with nothing better to do gathering around a table meeting about those blacks talking too long by the watercooler need to be terminated. LOL!!! Tell me it isn't so Joe!

I know where this mentality comes from old ignorant black folks. Someone told some of these young blacks to not speak to one another in front of the white man or you would be giving him a reason not to like you. Don't make "masta" I mean him (or her)feel threatened or suspect that you are up to no good scheming with your black co-worker. I don't know about you, but I will talk to whomever I want. Period. Now if some of you black folks work in an environment that you fear talking to a fellow black might cost you your job then so be it. But that is sad!

Honestly, we must question why we treat one another the way we do and where it comes from. Just because grandma and grandad had that kind of life doesn't mean that we have to keep it going. Say something to a brotha or sista the next time you pass him or her, you will feel good that you did!


Written by Nicholl McGuire

Elderly Black Folks & the So-Called Good Ole Days

When the black elderly people speak of the “good ole days” they are smiling and laughing exchanging story after story between one another, but when the conversation changes to present day and someone mentions “the young people” there is an instant attitude. They start casting blame as if young people just suddenly appeared and started wrecking havoc. The older black Americans seem to disconnect themselves from the younger black Americans and will not take any responsibility for the contributions they made in the mass destruction of many African American communities that some of the young blacks are spray painting and hustling in now. They say, “Why should we? Young people don’t care about anything!” Who made them that way? Was it the father who ran off with another man’s wife while cheating on his own wife and eventually settled in a white neighborhood? Was it the mother who tried to keep two jobs while her son was being watched by God knows who? Was it the grandmother who enjoyed drinking more than spending time with her grandchildren? Was it the father who committed crimes and spent the majority of his life in and out of prison, because getting an education ‘wasn’t cool and the white man had his foot on his neck?’ ”

Were these once youthful men and women, who are now elderly, primarily responsible for not teaching their children and grandchildren how to care for and maintain their communities? When these people, who grew up during the “good ole days,” had opportunities to attend trade schools or colleges, did they do it? And if they did, why didn’t they stay true to their own communities rather than trying to integrate with other races in other communities? Why do they not accept responsibility for their lack of influence and education to teach the generation following them?
There is so much ignorance evident in these conversations of “the good ole days.” Take the time to listen to the elderly African American discussions regarding young people today. They complain about “how the parents just aren’t raising them.” They talk as if they have no impact or influence on their grandchildren. For those who can make a difference, they say, “I don’t want to be bothered…I’m too old.” The young people try to reach out and they are greeted with eye rolls, heavy sighs, and sometimes yelling, “Don’t touch my…stay off my…” Too busy worrying over material things rather than the souls of the young people in their families. For other elderly African Americans, they are all too willing to do what they can to help young people. Then of course, there are those who could care less and have nothing to say about any of these societal issues.

It’s because of these elderly black people who obsess with “the good ole days” is why they haven’t done much in the present day. They keep hoping for a train that stopped coming a long time ago. They keep wishing for the day “when we use to and we had to…”and while they’re hoping and praying, the young people are surrounding them like vultures waiting to pick them clean when they pass! For what good is it to be alive if these “good ole days” preachers are doing nothing more than complaining about the present day. They don’t bother teaching, they don’t want to listen, they think they know-it-all (just like the young people they claim they try to talk to), and even worse they hold on to their dollars for frivolous things (and talk about how young people don’t save any money – the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree! Now does it?)

To group every young person and their parents in one category is lazy thinking, ignorant and unfair. Some children grew up being whipped for their actions while others weren’t. In some cases punishment made a difference in their lives and in other cases it didn’t! Yet, try to convince your aging grandparent that your mother or father did the best they could with you. They will converse with you as if you don’t know what you are talking about and will ridicule your parents whether they were good or bad. They will almost brag about how hard they had it and how you don’t know any better. Attempt to challenge them on their ignorant statements and watch an ugly attitude appear on their faces, then they will grow angry, and will provide you with vague information about their past. There is a hidden jealousy amongst these old-timers when they look at their children and their children’s children. Some of these miserable old people can’t stand when you delve deeper into their history. You see, they are still running scared like their mothers and fathers who were born into slavery. They are afraid that if you learn too much about them you will judge them. They know that knowledge is power and they fear that a young person with that kind of power will disrespect them (unfortunately some will.)

Most of these older African Americans mentioned in this article are in their late
70s and older at the time of this writing. Their history is far different than those who will be following their age group. With each passing generation, life can only get better in health, business, lifestyle and more. Most of you who are 40 and younger haven’t experienced or witnessed the kind of racism that your parents or grandparents grew up with. So recent generations could actually have their share of many “good ole days” stories to tell, which would be far more interesting than the five mile walk to school tales.

Hopefully, the slavery mentality, slave diet, black racism, light skin/dark skin thinking, drunkenness, drugs, gambling, and cheating will be buried in record numbers with these “good ole days” thinkers. For we cannot afford to keep this negative, oppressive type of thinking amongst our people!


Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com