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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


Saying Hello to Lucifer and Goodbye to God: The New Black Man

They say they believe in a god, some of the so-called black conscious thinkers of our modern day society. Some refer to a god as a great architect of the universe, a creator, and a being or force at least to a Christian's face while wearing sunglasses. But when their dark shades come off (think of some of those celebrities,) who are they really serving?

The new black man is not interested in serving the one true God, he is more interested in being a god. As those of us who read our Bibles know, the so-called conscious black man is walking on dangerous ground. But tell him that, and he will bombard you with many reasons as to why he "just can't get down with God." He thinks of the Bible as nothing more than a book of fairy tales. He reasons that he doesn't serve a god who kills while telling him he shouldn't. He finds fault with this Supreme Being who took a beloved one away before his time and he has a million other reasons as to why he won't attend church.

The unbeliever (also known as a reprobate mind) is usually affiliated with some group that also thinks like him, a cult of Transhumanists. To sum up this cult's belief system, they believe they can become gods and have eternal life through technology. They reject the God of the King James Bible and they embrace the concepts in the Luciferian doctrine. Now, the new black man who considers himself free of oppression while wearing a brand named suit thinking he is a god, sipping on a latte at the local Starbucks, is not going to call himself a transhumanist (at least not openly and who knows, he just might not know what that is.) Further, he isn't attending any particular weekly group meeting unless of course he can get something from a group to swell his financial portfolio, then he might consider it. Rather, he reads any and everything that elevates him, discredits Christian doctrine, and enjoys the littlest things in life like doing whatever and whenever to whoever he wishes. For commitment of any kind, is well, a bit of a bore.

The new black man can't be pointed out by appearance alone. At one time, you use to be able to spot him as soon as you saw him and your suspicions were further proven when he opened his mouth articulating his every word like our President Obama. But these days, the black transhumanist (who might I add doesn't believe there is any good or evil) is wearing baggy pants, t-shirts and boots and he might--just for effect--pull out a three-piece suit--you know to appear "god-like."

The new, godless black man usually can't keep his personal life straight (ie. family, intimacy etc.,) but he can manage to keep a job and a little money to splurge every now and then on his ungodly pleasures. Even with the appearance of a little freedom, he is still a slave--his godless, transhumanism doctrine is gradually enslaving him from the inside out. What happens when he loses his job, health, and worse his soul for yet another one of his simple pleasures? Will he go to the elite and ask them for a hand-out? Will he talk his sex slave into nurturing him back to health? Or maybe, just maybe he will go to his momma and ask her to pray. Then when all is said and done and he's back on his feet again while the sun is looking a little brighter and that one eye on the back of his dollar bill looks like it's smiling back at him, he will go back to his evil ways spewing his transhumanism doctrine of "I am too can be don't need God."

Nicholl McGuire

Poem: If He Brings Me A Lie...

Didn't want to hear the truth
tried to look the other way
had the "oh here she go" look on his face.

His Lord once sat on the throne
now he's at his feet.
Didn't want me to question his place, his faith.

Brotha been listening to voices too long in his head
they always crying the blues
while bragging about being their own gods.

Who was I,
to bring the light
to shine it on dark shadows?

His brain
calling me a bitch.
His brain washed
thinking all black females like to do is argue.

Was I yelling when I brought the truth?
Did I hold my head to the side,
snap my fingers,
and cuss him out?

Black man so confused!
He don't know the difference anymore
between talking and yelling.

to believe we all the same.

He thinks everyone
trying to make his life difficult.
Blames everyone
for mistakes he made.

A dark brotha
with a dark agenda
living on the dark side.

A family man who sold out a long time ago,
used to hide behind the light of "the real."
They knew he was trying too hard to fit in
that's why they let him go.

That son of a teacher ain't been praying heartfelt prayers lately.
His seat in the church collecting dust
like that big, brown book he once carried.

Spitting out past glory stories to anyone who will listen.
Leaving out the details while smiling, frowning, smiling
and frowning from one moment to the next--
Ole crazy negro!

Trying to make me believe in him.
He always lying--little ones, big ones.
You got to watch him.
Inviting folks into his circle of liars,
most not interested.
"but they got money...they'll help you..."
Caught lying again.

Nicholl McGuire


I Love My Hair but Not the Pain...

Between Chris Rock's documentary about African American hair and the latest Sesame Street puppet singing about how she loves her hair, opportunists see the many dollars black women invest in their hair and they are capitalizing off of it!

The fact is black women do love their hair and all the creative ways we can do it. But love it all the time in every way, yeah right!? Let's be honest for a moment, if you had a choice between a painful experience with your natural hair or one that isn't painful using a hair product designed to make your hair manageable, which would you choose? Not everyone has the same texture of hair and not everyone uses the same tools for their hair, so who are these people who say, "You should love your hair!" I think I have a right to love my hair one day and hate it the next. Most of these people don't know what a nappy head is much less how it feels.

During childhood, I got my behind beat because of my frizzy head! So I don't have fond memories of my nappy head experiences. If I didn't sit still while my mom, grandma, or uncle comb and brush my hair, I was going to get hit with one of those two tools, you can believe dat! Hours of being told, "Sit still...hold your head...bend your head down...raise your head up...did you hear me? Cry again, hear? And I will give you somethin' to cry for! You better be still, I will hit you with this brush...hold still I said, you hear me..."

If I loved my hair for even little bit back then, it was quickly suppressed by negative experiences. "Don't you be swinging your hair like some white girl! Come on in this house out the rain 'cause you know what's going to happen. Get your nappy head over think you cute cause your hair long, huh? Your hair ain't good, you need a perm!"

I wanted to know why I had to have a kinky head as if I didn't have enough painful experiences just being a girl. As a child, I recalled the hot comb burned my ears so many times--I'm surprised I have any ears! Oh and who ever experienced the pain of a hot comb through hair that had not thoroughly dried?! Ouch! What about that hair food popping off your hot hair burning those fingers? One day I asked God with my sore scalp, burnt ears, menstrual cramps, and other bad memories in mind, "Why?" The only thing that came close to an answer was something about Eve in the Garden talking to that snake and eating that bad apple while reading the Bible in private school as a kid. "So I have to suffer because some woman couldn't ignore a snake?" I asked myself later as an adult. Then certain relatives wondered why I didn't have anything to do with God for most of my young adult life. Eventually, I did come to God, but for other reasons and it definitely wasn't due to the stories in the Book of Genesis either.

Growing up, I liked the attention I got from my cornrows, hot presses, Quadra curls, perms, freeze curls, wet sets, bobs, french rolls, sculptured hairstyles, etc. I also liked the fact that I didn't experience nearly half of the pain I did once I became an adult.

So don't get me wrong, I love my hair today, but I can't speak for tomorrow.

Nicholl McGuire


The Rise of Black Freemasons

It seems that entertainers these days are boldly showing off their connections to Freemasonry and as a result, future recruits are more concerned with receiving fame, fortune, favortism, and most of all power from their brother masons.

Some entertainers have gone so far as to blantantly lie and deny their affiliations to the group even though they boast about it! These liars are master deceivers and have learned to double talk; therefore, to create a mindset of doublethink. This is the practice of taking two contradictory statements and convincing self and others to agree with them both. For instance, if I tell you that I am not connected with a particular group; yet I continue to show you the handsigns and colors representing the group and you call me out on this, I will deny it even though I know you are right. I may say something like, "You are mistaken. What I am doing is really this..." Meanwhile you will doubt what you see which is the truth and replace it with my lie while questioning whether what you see is in fact true. It is the classic concept taken from the book by George Orwell in 1984, "2 + 2 =5" You know that it doesn't, but if I tell you that it is, you must agree in order to maintain your affiliation with the group. This is what those who have something to hide do, play mindgames, especially if they have a hidden agenda. I'm sure that someone at the top warned some of these entertainers to "tone it down" or "deny your affiliations" because they can't afford the negative publicity.

Organizations with secret agendas have long existed. If you think back to the many "Grandmasters" in the music industry, right away you should know that they had connections to the Freemasons. Unfortunately, too many music listeners were too caught up with the beat of the drum to pay close attention to the artist's name, attire (which often promoted homosexuality) and lyrics from back in the day. Take a look back with a critical mind and you will be surprised by what you find!

Check out some of the following You Tube channels to be enlightened:

  • LenonHonorFilms
  • TheIndustryExposed
  • EsotericKitten
  • OrangeMoon82
  • Drfreemason
  • Msoutofthebox
  • 1killuminati
  • 3rdKrypton
  • TheChannel4Truth
  • Farhank501
  • PimPb1420
  • KhalidMuhammed
  • Kytekutter
  • LetsGetFreeNow
Also, search for William Cooper and John Todd who are both deceased. They provide compelling information about the government and music industry. Look up authors Fritz Springmeier and Cisco Wheeler who wrote "They Know Not What They Do" and other books.

God bless,
Nicholl McGuire

Total Training Online and DVD (Software Training)

Are White Men Attracted to Black Women? Yes and No

The truth is, if you are a black woman, not all white men will be attracted to you. Not all black men will be attracted to you either. That's just common sense.

Many people believe that white men don't find black women attractive. Actually, that statement is just a bullet point under the wider belief that no men other than black men are attracted to black women. The fact of the matter is, white men are attracted to black women. This understanding follows from one fundamental truth: Men are attracted to beautiful women.

If you hear someone say that white men aren't attracted to black women, that can only be taken as an insult since it implies that there aren't any beautiful black women. Of course, that's not the least bit true. Black men are much more likely to make the statement that men of other races won't find a black woman beautiful out of a sense of entitlement (even if they have no intentions of being with a black woman themselves) or to protect their egos.

More white men than you think are attracted to black women. White guys are attracted to black girls of all shapes, heights, and shades. They don't all want a black woman who is very light skinned with "white" features and long, straight hair. Don't confuse what society's ideal of beauty is with what an individual man's type is. Think about it. Your ideal of an attractive man probably resembles a hairless male model, but that ideal is not necessarily the man you are attracted to in day-to-day life nor is he the type you will fall in love with. The same goes for men of any race. Their idea of ideal beauty may be an actress but that doesn't determine who they fall in love with. It doesn't mean they cannot possibly find you beautiful.

What's so wonderful about the world is that we are all individuals. We are all unique in our preferences, from our tastes in food to our tastes in mates. Every man's ideas about what is sexy, irresistible, and beautiful are different. If you come across a man with a static, unchangeable idea of exactly what his mate's physical features will be, including skin tone, then you have come across a shallow, closed-minded man.

Sure, everyone has preferences and you can't change who you're attracted to, but you can't fall in love with a face or six pack abs, or with the lightness of someone's skin and texture of someone's hair. Looks fade. You ultimately fall in love with who a person is on the inside.

So if a person tells you they are not attracted to anyone at all that is outside of their race you know they are lying. You should hope they are lying, at least. Otherwise that person has a deep hatred for other people or is in deep denial of their own feelings.

All straight men love women. Don't believe that white men, Asian men, Latino men, Middle Eastern men, European men, etc. are somehow unable to be attracted to a black woman. If she is beautiful inside and out then she is beautiful to a wide range of men. Remember, outer beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

If you know of white men who are "not attracted to black women", and haven't seen too many white men dating or approaching black women, don't make a sweeping judgment about all white men. You don't like it when a sweeping judgment, better known as a stereotype, is applied to you, do you? Despite popular belief, it does not benefit you to hate, stereotype or dismiss white men. So don't do it.

Black women should never feel like they are undesirable to all men of other races. If you are open and approachable, you will naturally attract all kinds of men.

Renee LaRuse is a journalism student in Florida working towards a career as a fiction writer and an entrepreneur.

Go to this author's Interracial Ebook website today.



The Fall of the Egocentric Black Man

"Don't judge," they say. "Who are you to judge...he who is without sin cast the first stone..." here we go again taking scripture out of context. Whenever someone gets in trouble, some of us start getting on the "thou shalt not judge bandwagon." However, last I checked each biblical scenario that people quote scripture from was related to each separate event and was not meant to be taken out of context. That's like me addressing my child in a certain way then all the parents who are standing around listening, take what I say and reword it to suit them, then tell me that's what I really meant. Nothing wrong with learning from what someone else says, but look at the whole picture before pulling out what you want or what you think the person is saying. I think many of us who read the Bible do just that when it comes to the teachings of Jesus. What I am learning is you have to pull every scripture related to the subject matter to get somewhat of an understanding and even with everything in front of you, you still will be confused--thank God for the Holy Spirit.

The scripture that people need to study when it comes to judgment is John 7:24 then go back to all the others. John 7:24 says, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment." Jesus was healing on the Sabbath and those who witnessed this felt like he was breaking a commandment. It's similar to what we do today, we see someone doing something that breaks a rule and rather than look at the deed as being righteous or unrighteous, we zero in on the rule rather than using good ole-fashioned common sense. So if a egocentric black man is parading around with riches, boasting about how much wealth he has, asking you to keep funding "God's kingdom," then you have to ask yourself who is he really working for self, devil and/or God? As we know a man can't serve two masters.

So why open this blog entry with statements about judging? Because right now we are in a season again of major things happening with televangelists like back in the day with Jimmy Swaggert and Jim Bakker except this time the characters are black. What a perfect time to bring these rich black men down during a time when the economy isn't doing well, huh? There are far too many jealous, racist non-black folks that can't stand the idea that there are cocky black men on television going so far as to say they are "like God" and believe "all path ways lead to God." When you play with the fire of fundamental Christian principles, expect to get burned!

It's one thing to be blessed and highly favored of the Lord, but it is quite another thing to be cursed and highly despised by man. These men we see on our television screens spouting off about topics that touch us emotionally are not touching us spiritually and God is angered with all of this. For years, I witnessed ministers take one sentence out of the Bible and build a sermon out of it. They would be talking 10% God talk and 90% our talk. I guarantee you if ministers would talk 90% God talk, they would never become a mega church--case in point look at Jesus' walk. All that "I" and "me" is nothing more than man's ego getting in the way. He has put himself on the throne and God at his feet and for that man (and woman) will suffer. We don't need a mega church minister to learn a lesson or two about how an out of control ego will cause a man's self destruction or do we? Look at what you do at home, workplace, or somewhere else. Are you preaching alot about "I" and "me." If so, you will fall too. Your relative, co-worker or friend wants to hear more "we" not "me"-- trust me, I know.

I don't like to put people on any seat especially one that judges and neither do I enjoy being judged. However, let's be honest here, how are you going to know what is right or wrong if no one ever gets called out on the carpet for anything? When do we hold people accountable? When do we stop empathizing with those who do wrong just because back in the day we did wrong? Come on now, is "keeping it real" really about running your mouth with a little bit of truth while looking the other way and talking behind people's backs?

Like I told a group at church last Saturday, if I see someone doing something wrong I wouldn't put that person's business out in the street in front of everyone, but I would pray about it, trust in the Lord on what to say to the person, then talk to them behind closed doors. You think he or she wouldn't talk to me about any wrongdoing? You know he or she would. Now if this person pulled that sorry combative statement about, "Don't judge me, look at you." I won't let that keep me from warning my sister or brother about the danger ahead (using myself or others as examples if need be to drive the point home,) but I will also take his or her negative reaction to mean I don't need to be casting my pearls to swine anymore while thinking of a few Proverbs about fools as I walk away.

So as you watch one minister after the other begin to fall like Dominoes, try real hard not to make it a color issue (although we know it is for some non-black groups especially the wealthy, gay ones) but know that God is allowing things to happen for his glory, not for man's! Sooner or later, someone or a group will wake up and see the error of their ways and will repent. Isn't that usually how the story ends?

Be blessed!

Nicholl McGuire


Black Education - Does Slavery Still Affect Us?

This article on black education deals with a part of my childhood training that has been a source of great frustration for me. Both of my parents worked on plantations, raising cotton. Their families were sharecroppers. First, let me explain that not all black people responded to the mortifications and degradations imposed upon them by overseers in the same way. Some let the insults catapult them to great levels of determination to prove their own worth. Many others absorbed these blows, letting the pain sink deep. My parents belonged to the second group. That being said, I can categorically state that parts of my childhood training were direct results of training or conditioning inflicted upon my parents from those cotton fields which go straight back to slavery.
Here is an example of what I mean.
I was born, raised, and still live in the South. Quite often, my parents used my siblings and me to fetch and carry for them. "Pam, bring me a glass of ice water." "Go put my plate in the sink." This in itself does not seem too bad, but I was expected to perform these tasks as if nothing gave me greater pleasure or I risked getting a whipping or received a threat of one for showing discontent. Don't get me wrong. I love my parents. They did the best they could for us, but a great many of their parental skills came from the legacy that was passed down to them straight from the cotton field, including a general disregard for my rights as an individual. Mostly, I was ordered to do things, not asked.
I'm not saying that my parents treated my siblings and me like Joe Jackson treated his children, but from personal experience, I understand some of what Michael Jackson went through as a child. To vilify Joe Jackson; however, without examining the slave system of behavior that he inherited too easily makes him a scapegoat for something far more sinister than he was capable of creating. Black education rarely includes studying how nearly 300 years of systemically imposed hatred for oneself has influenced the way we raise our children.
Here is another example.
I began working at the age of 14. I was very careful to be responsible with my money. My mother saw nothing wrong with taking my money to give to other family members who needed it. This was an attitude of hers. Her mother was the same way. They were both mothers of African descent with a heritage of communal living. Now, as an adult, I understand that for them, they were merely protecting their family; however, it is the method that I question. Where did they learn to take what did not belong to them without any feeling of wrongdoing? Wasn't the premise of American slavery that the fruits of a slave's labor belonged not to the slave, but the master?
What about my needs? Aren't they just as valuable as the needs of the other family members, especially since I earned the money? This is a very complex issue.
I love the concept of communal living. It can be so beautiful. It is how our ancestors survived slavery and segregation. Black people have a strong history of communities pooling resources to send one or two students to college in hope - not insistence - of them returning to help the community. They just wanted to see somebody make it. This was hope at its most fundamental level. As beautiful as this sentiment was, it created an unforeseen problem.
Communal living may have helped to fund the education of many blacks, but Western education dominated the curricula and it was and still is based upon individualism. Where is the balance? What has this imbalance done to our communities? For these questions, black education has yet to provide answers.
It is very popular today to deny that slavery still affects us. My childhood alone was enough for me to look into the matter. Perhaps you will reexamine your childhood. You too may find patterns that match the conditions forced upon our ancestors in both slavery and segregation.
Knowledge of yourself is your Best HBCU. Join Pamela Hamilton to add more to your black education, the primary focus of Best HBCU. Please, leave a comment.


School Desegregation and Its Effect on Black Achievement

One of the major social science issues of the recent times school desegregation has always been the subject matter of hot debates and discussions among academicians and educationalists. Many investigations have also been carried out from time to time on such desegregation and its possible effects on achievements of black students. Some of the research works have been so intense that it could usher a new era exploring hitherto unexplored areas in public policy.
Relative importance of the issue to public policies cannot be undermined. While the political history of the relationship between such desegregation and black student achievements are yet not documented, little doubts are left about their importance. Everyone including the federal officials and courts has now come to appreciate the importance of these particular social phenomena.
It all started in the year 1954 with the decision of Supreme Court in Brown v. Board of Education. Three key decisions were involved. It had to turn around earlier ruling about the constitutional permissibility of "separate but equal" for whites and blacks. Secondly, it had to deal with racial inequality in educational institutions. Thirdly; it also decided that the history as well as meaning of the fourteenth amendment was inconclusive.
All these added up to bring out the momentous decision that "separate educational facilities were inherently unequal". It was appreciated that racial inequality plays havoc with the self esteem of children. Resultant sense of inferiority among the black children becomes detrimental to the motivation for learning. Equality in education was understood as providing equal opportunities in education free from racial considerations.
This resulted in reversing the age old theory of "separate but equal" and racism in education. Social science statement was making the identical connections between self esteem and the academic achievements. This also enables the experts to establish and emphasize a casual pattern where countable personality variables resulted in subsequent changes in all types of academic performances.
Brown case made a beginning that marked lower federal courts clearly appreciating that achievement test scores are clear evidence of inequalities in providing educational opportunities to black people. Finally, the scope of judicial remedies in school desegregation was dramatically expanded in the Milliken v Bradley case in 1977 by the Supreme Court.
As a result of this case the academic performance of the black became one of the primary concerns in judicial remedies against segregation offenses.
By Simon Waker Haughtone
People worried about finding quality information on topics like school segregation and educational performance of the black will find visiting extremely useful for their purpose. Besides, the topic based search of the viewer like the one relating to segregation is faster with the search engine as it immediately leads the viewer to the exact site.


Why Black Men Marry White Women

"Quincy Jones couldn't find just one black woman good enough to marry and bear his children," I wondered out loud while flipping through the pages of his autobiography. He said, "I do" to three white women to formalize a legitimate, committed relationship in the eyes of society. He implied to these women, "You are not just some woman whom I share a bed with when it's convenient. You're a co-partner of my dreams and all that I aim to be." What is missing in the black woman that prevents Quincy Jones from inviting her into his sacred space of matrimony? "What's wrong with us?" I tearfully asked myself.

Maybe Quincy Jones needed somebody to see him as he saw him self, long before there was tangible proof that he would be the revered musician he is today. He was raised in a society that saw him as a black man with boundaries and limitations. I think the average black woman would have been worried about the rent and the baby needing shoes. His role as provider would have taken precedence over some dream to play musical instruments in smoky, dark rooms late at night with beautiful free women; most of us, black women, would have wanted him to get a "real job."

When the wounded souls and broken spirits of black males and females come together, sometimes the union is filled with the heavy baggage of oppression and disappointment; leaving either party with little to give to the other. Because of the emotional, financial and social pressures of today, some blacks are not able or psychologically prepared to give each other the soul food that is needed to nourish our dreams of tomorrow.

I think it's less painful for us as black women to believe that black men desire white women because her hair blows in the wind and her eyes are sparkling blue. We want to believe this because we don't have to look within our own souls for answers that may be painful. We would then have to question our role as "superwoman" and self-righteous, martyrs. We don't want to believe that maybe it's not the stereotypes that we hear about white women being docile and sexually uninhibited. We chant to ourselves how we pay the bills, wash his clothes and cook his dinner, but when he steps out of line we are there with a tongue-lashing to make sure that he recognizes and appreciates our hard work.

As a black women, I wonder if sometimes we are too bitter when sweetness is in order; too stern when being laid-back would suffice and too hard when softness could do it so much better. Maybe it is impossible for us to give our men, what we are seeking to obtain for ourselves. Maybe it's difficult to trust with shattered faith, love unconditionally with a bruised heart and support someone else's dream with a broken spirit. Because the typical American white woman's past did not contain the same type of pain as the American black woman, her vision of the black man is not blurred with criticisms and expectations.

I don't believe that black men date white women because they are American symbols of beauty and feminism. I believe that in Quincy Jones' case he married, not white women, but women who could look within his heart and validate his highest image of himself. Maybe she was able to remind him that despite racial barriers in American society, her love is living proof that his soul is free to be whom and whatever he wants to be.

Cassandra George Sturges Psy.D is a mother of two teenagers, a full-time psychology instructor, advice columnists for Today's Black Woman Magazine, workshop presenter, and publisher of Authentik Beauty Magazine.

Professional Black Women & College Educated Black Men

The problem continues according to DeNeen L. Brown of the Washington Post in her February 25, 2010 article titled "Single black women being urged to date outside race". There is a sentiment among African American women that African American men are taking far too long to get their lives in order for sustainable relationships and marriage. This sentiment is new material for columnist outside the African American community, but women within it have dealt with this situation for decades. Brown's article addresses some of the frustrations that single black women have in waiting for that "good black man" to come along. For some, patience has melted like ice on a warm summer's day in the Mississippi Delta. The unspoken tradition in the community was for the women to save themselves for the male. Family and social pressures made this a reality for many African American women that aged and wound up with a host of prospects and no real gold to speak of in their quest. The term men, women, male, and female refers to African Americans unless otherwise specified in this article.
Today, many of these younger professional women are throwing the old taboos aside to pursue a life of happiness outside their own hue. The commonality of seeing a male athlete, entertainer, politician, or minister date or marry an Asian, Caucasian, or Latin female is a well-established social reality. However, eye-brows continue to lift as more women opt to do the same as men by dating outside their race in larger numbers than before. It is difficult to get substantive numbers on just how many are embarking on this new approach to fulfilling the desire to be happy in a relationship, but judging by the number of social groups, dating services, and blogs online, it is definitely popular.
During the 1990's we saw an influx of men dating Latin women in places like in the Southwest. The African American female was not as popularly sought after by these men, and this remains unclear. Now, we must understand that one region does not a country make. There are various elements that contributed to this gap between African American men and women and it all did not come about in one decade. A good percentage of males strayed from the path of prosperity in the 1980's due to the introduction of quick and easy money stemming from the drug trade. Thug-life was celebrated and later commercialized in music, and television. Hundreds of thousands of men fell victim to the lure and found themselves either behind bars or on the sideline of life watching others prosper. The women pushed themselves to attend school, rear children, and assume the roles of both father and mother. Others abstained until finishing school to find "Mr. Right" after going through or avoiding "Mr. Right Now". The number of men that might have had the aptitude to complete college experienced difficulty in qualifying for financial assistance due to prior convictions or being labeled as a felon. The opportunity arose to speak with some of these men who made it through the 1980's and 1990's to become successful unmarried professionals.
During informal discussions with several of these gentlemen, the subject came up about dating African American women and the responses were interesting. Physical features were never brought up such as good hair, lighter skin-tone, or incorrect grammar usage, common factors that some men who will not date African American women mention from time-to-time out of bias. The way they were treated in the past by other African American women during their earlier years seemed to have left a subtle residual anger. This lingering pain manifested into a preferential taste to respect them, but devalue them in respect to having a reminder of a not so pleasant experience in their lives. The interesting aspect of it all was that they would have intimate relations with them, but not marry or have children with them. So, from this perspective we can summarize that there are varied reasons that this romantic disconnect exist between the educated classes of African American men and women when it comes to relationships.
This leaves the professional black woman with limited options in that she is 3 times more likely to attend and finish college than an African American male according to United States Census 2008. And as of May 29, 2010 at 1:44 am, there are approximately 309,376,250 million people in the United States of which 37,131,771 million are African Americans. About 18.5% of females have at least a bachelor's degree with only 15.7% of males with degrees. The implications are that 2.80% of the female population with at least a bachelor's degree may be in search of a partner of sorts roughly. The total African American population with a high school diploma through a graduate or professional degree over the age of 25 years is about 22,166,023 million in the 2008 Census. From that group is where the aforementioned percentages are derived. This means that about 620,649 thousand women with bachelor's degrees or higher are in that pool of professional African American women without mates. So now there is a bit more clarity in respect to the imbalance in the male to female ratio of college educated African American females.
Now what does this mean? This group of 620,649 thousand women are faced with three options, either date a man that may not have the same educational level, remain single, or date outside her race. Statistically, it is logical that there is a shortage of men graduating from college to keep up with the demands of females. However, there is another factor that has to be considered, the current state of the economy that knocked many of these men out of positions in firms. This means that a more centric focus of personal survival is more appropriate than starting a family that could be seen as a liability from his perspective. Demographically, the bulk of these men and women are based east of the Mississippi River. So it could be further stated that the women that are opting to date interracially are from this group of 620,649 thousand women.
James Adams is a seasoned professional with over twenty years of industry experience in the areas of Information Technology, Broadcast Media, International Business, Marketing, Public Relations, and Entertainment combined.
James has several years of personal experience as a personal match-maker and informal relationship adviser with a successful track-record. In his twenty plus years in the aforementioned fields, he has mastered the realm of social networking by engaging in topics, and subject matter after extensive research.

White Men Dating Black Women - The Secrets to Approaching Black Women

Are you a white man who's attracted to black women although you have problems approaching them? Frankly, approaching black women is no different from approaching any other women. However there are a few underlining issues which are affecting the way white men are dealing with interracial dating.

In my opinion, the reasons white American men find it difficult to approach black American women is partly due to stereotypes about black women. Unfortunately the stereotypes are distributed by mainstream media. Secondly, white men are often haunted by the "what-if" factor. The "what-if" factor is basically the fear of the unknown. Some popular "what-ifs" are: "what if she says no", "what if she laughs at me", "what if she doesn't like my white skin", "what if she has a boyfriend", "what if she only likes black guys" "what if she goes off on me"...well you get the picture. Thirdly, pressure from family and/or friends can sometimes be the cause for not getting involved with a black woman.
Now let's address these issues:

Stereotypes/Social Stigmas - Contrary to rap music, rap videos, VH1, BET and other "news-worthy" sources, black women are not gold-digging, over-sexed, man-eating hood rats. Nor do black women believe that every white man they come across sits on his front porch wearing a Klansman robe whittling wood. Until both parties understand, and acknowledge stereotypes for what they are, dating/marrying each other will continue to be difficult.

The "What if" Factor - Gentleman, rejection is a normal part of dating. You win some you lose some. Don't take it personal. For every black woman who says no, there will be 5 that will say yes. It's just that simple. Getting rejected by a black woman is no different from being rejected by a non-black woman. There are no 21 gun salutes, no fireworks and no explosions if a black woman turns you down!

Friends and Family - Pressure from friends and family is often the biggest opponent to white men dating black women. Don't fall into this trap and risk your happiness based on someone else's views and opinions. You may find yourself stuck in an unhappy situation always having regrets because you didn't follow your heart.

OK now that we got the underlining stuff out the way, on to the secrets of the approach:
In general we (black women) are socially conditioned to believe white men aren't attracted to us. Many times we miss the subtle clues that white men give out because we're used to the aggressive approaches that black men tend to display. However black women all over the country are starting to take notice of these clues, opening their minds and are responding in kind! With that being said, let's discuss a few scenarios:

Scenario 1- Grocery Store:
OK you see a hot black woman standing in the baking or pasta isle. As you approach her, make sure you're holding a food product in your hand. Start out by asking her a question about the product, such as "Excuse me, can you please give me some advise on xyz", or "Do you know how to cook xyz". Better yet, ask her an opinion about xyz product. Tell her you read a review on it and wanted to try it out. Another idea that works is to explain that your little niece asked you to pick up product xyz...or this is the first time you've actually cooked xyz... ask her for the baking time... so on and so forth. The point is, you're trying to make conversation without being overly aggressive or threatening. If you happen to be in the produce section, ask her if she knows how to cook fresh broccoli... or what's the difference between collard greens and mustard?. Tell her that you're a bachelor and you're planning a home-cooked meal for your mother... what doe she suggest you cook for the meal? During the little exchanges be VERY aware of her body language and her responses. If her responses are very short that means that she's either in a hurry or she's not interested. If she's giving you a lot of eye contact, smiling or trying to prolong her responses she's interested.

Scenario 2- The Mall/Clothing Store
Same premise as the above. You see an attractive black woman looking at clothes. You approach her with a sweater/shirt/tie. Ask her for an opinion on the style or color. Tell her that you got invited to a wedding... haven't worn a suit in while... how does xyz look on you? Say you're picking up something for a little brother, sister, a nephew. Anything that will give her the impression that you need her advise. Look for wedding rings, ring marks or any other clues that will give you the impression that she's single or interested.

Scenario 3- Eye Contact
Nothing irritates us more than a white guy staring and NOT saying anything (or staring and looking away). This is probably the biggest complaint that I hear from black women constantly. Fellas you have to master the art of "eye flirting". It's imperative if you don't want to look like a pervert or a loser. If you want her to know that you want her, throw a few lingering glances her way followed up with a flirty grin. Better yet, if you find yourself in awe of a beautiful black woman try the "triangular formulation". This involves looking at a woman eye to eye, then down to a woman's mouth and chin, down to the rest of her body and back up to her eyes again. Sexy!

In conclusion, if you're shy or are having a hard time meeting eligible black women in your area, try online dating sites that cater to interracial dating. This helps weed out the women who don't date white guys and saves you a lot of time and hurt feelings. It also builds up your confidence. Remember the purpose of online dating is to eventually meet someone. Don't use this method as a social crutch. Most of all have fun and don't take things personally!

By Selena Walker
It's hard meeting the right person let alone trying to meet someone whose opened to interracial relationships. With a little patience and putting yourself out there sometimes, dating can be a rewarding experience.

Styling Options For Natural Black Women's Hair

Are you stumped when it comes to styling your natural black hair? Women love to change hairstyles often and are sometimes worried when they decide to go natural that they won't have enough styling options. Natural black hair is very versatile and there are plenty of styling options for your natural tresses.
Your natural tresses can be styled in many ways. Treating your hair gently whenever styling it is important to keeping it healthy and helping it retain length. When you style your hair be sure to comb it out slowly and gently. Before detangling put a product into your hair that provides a lot of slip. This is to help the comb slide more easily through your hair so you'll see less breakage. Use a wide tooth comb that doesn't have rough seams that will snag and cause breakage.
Use appropriate products that will nourish and not dry your hair when you style it. There are many products on the market today that are made specifically for naturals. There are also many natural oils and butters you can use.
Braids are very popular natural styles. You can wear braids in a variety of ways. You can wear box braids or plaits. Just section your hair and braid it into many individual braids. You can make the braids as big or small as you like. Cornrows are braids that are close to the scalp. They can be done in many different different complicated or simple styles.
Twists are my favorite protective styles. Twists can be done with two strands or three strands. You can also do single strand twists or comb coils. Twists can be done in individual sections like box braids or along the scalp in flat twists.
Bantu knots are like lots of little buns on your head. You take a section of hair and twist is around on itself until it forms a small bun or knot on your head. You can wear all of your hair in Bantu knots or you can wear only a section in them.
Straightening your tresses is another option. If you use limited amounts of heat your can avoid causing damage to your hair. You can get away with safely straightening your hair if you don't do it too often.
Rod sets are great for making many springy curls in your hair. You can use regular rod curlers and setting lotion to set your hair.
Up-dos are great protective styles that can be worn on a regular basis. French twists and buns can be worn as up-dos.
Wearing your hair down is another great option. You can wear an easy wash-and-go style. You can also wear your hair in a blow out or an Afro. You can put your hair in a high ponytail at the top of your head when you sleep at night to keep your curls fresh and give you second-day hair.
Heather Bettison has worn her hair natural for many years.


Strong Black Women & Weak Black Men

"I'm a strong black woman!" is a common phrase that some African American women use for self-motivation. This works well for many African American mothers struggling against the odds of potential failure if they do not succeed in providing a better life for themselves and children. However, there are some things that African American mothers need to notice while rearing boys in particular. Most often women focus on having more male influence when it comes to rearing the child, but there are also some considerations they must observe such as talking to their young men as they mature to establish an understanding that they had to remain strong for them through the adversities and not to assume that women who are assertive as they may have had to be as a norm for a relationship after they have left home. Often times, African American males will find themselves in a passive state when it comes to women after leaving the home if this situation remains unchecked and the mother will find her son being walked-over and used by some of the women they date and marry.
This is one of those things that are rarely mentioned and should be to avoid a disastrous relationship for the young man and to avoid mother-in-law conflict in the future. The African American mother maybe younger, inexperienced, and in some ways uncertain about her future and by asserting more control over the behavior of their son to avoid him getting into trouble is a measure that is designed for his safety. Issues after divorce or with the child's father may also play a role in this disposition, but in any case, it is incumbent for the mother to recognize that her strengths may lead to his weakness if he enters the world in a passive state. Now, some mother do go about delegating responsibility to their sons in an effort to familiarize him with the weight of being an adult, but this responsibility is useless if it is not also used as a learning opportunity as well.
The goal for the African American mother is to construct a path for the both of them that will reaffirm their bond as parent and child, create admiration and respect for the two of them, and develop a means to make a life-long support system for the two of them. It should be noted that hundreds of thousands of African American women go through the trials of being a single parent and therefore it is just as important to remains elective about the men they bring into their lives. The person that the African American woman chooses to share her life with is going to have an impact on the child and therefore the selection should be one that has a future to promote both she and the child.
The likelihood is that the African American female will have sustainable employment according to the statistics derived from the latest US Census and this means that she would need a man who has a job or at least skills and education to support her efforts to better both she and her child's lives. Finding a man with less than that is clearly a liability to all parties. She should seek someone who enlightens and can assist with learning and structuring a life plan for the child. This life-plan consists of values, morals, responsibilities, and goals. Also, the African American mother has a responsibility to remain faithful, caring, supportive, and a great, not good mother. The child she rears will be an assessment of her contribution to the world.
By having a talk with her young man before the age of 18 years to explain the differences in her approach to teaching him and the approach of other women who may try to take advantage of him should be stressed. If she does not or forgets to do so, she will be speaking to him about personal matters that he should be discussing with his wife or girlfriend. This is a common occurrence, because the mother will find herself having to coach her son to counter the authoritative nature of his spouse or live interest. Women in the world assess a man sometimes by how much she can openly get away with, and if she sees that he is passive in nature or too kind in many respects, abuse is bound to occur. No mother wants to see this happen to their sons and in order to prevent this, they should take time and examine this possibility. Most mothers may notice this when their sons date in high school by demanding girlfriends.
The goal of any mother is to make their little man the best one she could create for the world to enjoy, his skills, talents, and abilities that promotes growth, prosperity, and positive living.
James has several years of personal experience as a personal match-maker and informal relationship adviser with a successful track-record. In his twenty plus years in the aforementioned fields, he has mastered the realm of social networking by engaging in topics, and subject matter after extensive research. He has recently launched a web blog featuring some of the latest fashions by designers such as Lane Bryant, Just My Size, The Limited, and other name brands at affordable prices.


Black People Happy to Be on Tv By Any Means Necessary

They prayed for the fame, the money, and the sex with any one they wanted. They got it! Once spiritual folk. People who went to church with mama and em'. They sang gospel. They cried. They danced and fell out on the floor. They were swept up in the arms of God's angels. That was then...

Now they are screaming and gyrating like demons. Slipping and sliding like serpents on their bellies in music videos. Old slave master from centuries ago with his chains in hand didn't die. He just came back wearing a suit and carrying a contract. "You want your forty acres and a mule, what you going to do for it?" He says. "Don't be mistaken, just because I put you on TV and made you "the first" of something don't mean I like you. I just realize you are a good working tool like my great grandaddy's farm hoes, rakes, mules, oxes, cows, etc."

Picture this, the nice, white missionary who saves those little black children with flies all around their faces and swollen bellies in another country on your TV screen. A great subconscious way of telling you, "Black people need white people to save them." Is it any different in the entertainment industry? The elitist gets his minions to go into the black communities to get that ugly looking, poor pitiful black boy who always wanted to be a rapper, basketball player or some other athlete who had a bad life and no daddy presence. Turn that "poor, sad-looking thing" into a suit-wearing puppet (not a man) who owns nothing, not even his name!

Idols of yesteryear have re-surfaced with a twist. They aren't made of brick or stone. Rather, they appear on the idiot box, the Internet even on your cell phone beckoning you to praise them. So what do some do? Stop what they are doing to go see who is on TV. "That's my girl! I love that man!" Tell the kids to shut up, "I'm watching my show! Go sit down somewhere kids!" Don't you love our black brothers and sisters when their shows are on! Some don't have time to balance a checkbook. Others always too busy to help the good people in their lives during their times of need. Yet, let a favorite show come on, some black folks got all the time in the world!

God forewarned us in his holy scriptures about idol worshiping, but folks don't listen. Blood is going to be sacrificed nationwide--the worst we have ever seen soon. Watch and pray and you will be surprised at what our Awesome Creator will reveal to you. All this Illuminati, New World Order talk and symbolism isn't being preached just for entertainment sake. God help us! We saw the pre-show when we watched the towers fall on 9-11 and the powers that be won't let us forget them either!

The chart-topping black musicians are the new slaves of the devil saying, "I sold my soul...make it rain, rain man...New World Order is here!" The all-star sports athletes are the modern day Uncle Toms who have been given orders to "take a dive, fake an injury, sit out this one." The actors and actresses are the mouth pieces for whatever agenda the elite want to promote they say things like, "So when I wrote the song I wanted to let my fans know...Really listen to the message..." They are chosen--the illuminated ones, because they have demonstrated that they can influence the masses. They are obedient. They are capable of being brainwashed, they follow orders, do you?

Both on a subconscious and unconscious level, the celebrities reel the sheeple (sheep-people) in to sell them on a product, a service, or a certain thought or idea. You are bobbing your head calling it "entertainment" while your subconscious is saying, "I need that..." whatever "that" is.

Do you want "in" their circles? Are you telling your children they have a chance to get in? Do you want to become a famous entertainer or are you helping lead a sheep to slaughter? You can't become famous by traditional means. Who do you know? What fraternity, degree or connection has your back? Do you have a long track record of selling out, snitching, and being disloyal to those closest to you? Who knows, you or your loved one just might make the cut. Then what? You start telling everyone in a song, a book, or on a TV show how you got played and how you want out.

Be careful telling your children, "You are going to have money one day! You are going to make mama rich!" You just might be your child's sacrifice.

Nicholl McGuire


African American Grants - Easily Get the Free Money You Deserve

I am sure that you can agree that the typical college education is getting very expensive nowadays. Right now you can expect to pay anywhere from $20,000 to $80,000 in order to get a good 4 year education that will put a roof over your head and food on the table for your family.
And $80,000 isn't something that most people will have sitting in their bank account. And if you do not have the money in your bank ready to pay your school loans in full, you should take advantage of the African American grants that is available to you. Taking advantage of African American grants is much better than taking out expensive school loans that can easily put you into debt off the next 15 to 20 years of your life.
Don't you agree that it is much better to take advantage of free African American grants instead of taking out expensive school loans?
If you do, then you should be happy to know that qualifying for grants is rather easy as well. In order to qualify for such grants you will need to be:
1. At least 18 years of age
2. African American
3. College you are interested in must be in the U.S.
And if you meet these requirements you will have the chance to win as much as $10,000 for each qualifying semester. This is much better than taking out some expensive school loan that can easily put you into debt for the next 15 to 20 years of your life.
By E. Karpenter   

The Myths and Misunderstandings When Dating Black Women

Stereotypes seem to be abundant when it comes to the dating world. So many people listen to myths, stereotypes and other false things and that ends up hurting them when it comes to finding love. If you are ready to take the plunge and start dating black women then it is time for you to stop listening to the myths and misconceptions about them. Black women are like any other woman and when you lump her into a stereotype you are just hurting yourself. There is a wonderful, beautiful black woman out there just waiting for you to give her a chance.

Here is the Trouble

When you listen to the rumors and you buy into the stereotypes about dating black women you are losing out. You are letting these false stories and ideas shade the way you think about this group of women. The truth is that black women are just women at heart. They are not much different than other women. It is very important, when you are searching for a mate, that you have an open mind. Do not let things you hear cloud your judgment. You need to be willing to get to know each woman for who she is, not for the stereotype that you think defines her.

Common Myths

There are actually quite a few stereotypes and myths about dating black women. These things can be very hurtful. They can prevent a man from meeting an amazing black woman. Here are some of the things you may have heard about black women.

The most prominent thing that is said about black women is they have too much attitude. If you take a step back and look at the big picture then you will see there are women of all colors that have big attitudes. It is not a black woman thing. Not every black woman has an attitude. One thing that may lead to this assumption is that many black women are very strong and independent. This is a cultural thing and it is not a bad thing. It does not mean that she has an attitude problem. Many men are simply intimidated by a strong and independent woman, so if that is you then dating black women may not be right for you. A strong and independent woman needs a man who is just as strong and independent.

Another hurtful myth is that black women all have multiple children and a lot of drama surrounding their kids fathers. This is a myth that is fueled by Hollywood movies and sitcoms and it is not true by any means. Get to know a real black woman and you will see this and many other myths falls flat.

Black women are beautiful. They are loving and caring. They are all unique individuals. It is common to lump women of a specific race or culture together and say they are all a certain way, but when you do that you are just limiting yourself. Not every black woman is the same. If you are interested in dating black women then you have to take the time to look at each woman as an individual and get to her for who she is and not just for the color of her skin.

By Joel Gray

Get the woman of your dreams by becoming the man that all women want, become an Alpha Male. As you go thru this package you will begin to develop the powerful traits of a dominant Alpha Male, you will learn that no woman is beyond your scope of influence, and that you can have any women you want anytime you want.

If you want to be the man with the beautiful woman every weekend, if you want to be the man that gorgeous women are attracted no matter where you go then go and check out how to become an Alpha Male and discover the proven techniques to meeting sexy women and becoming the man that you have always wanted to be.


Keeping the Drama Inside Your Head Going? Rise Above It

We all got drama! Just the other day I had to break a few things down to someone I know. As my mother once told me, “Your word is your bond.” Until actions manifest, that’s all we have when relating to people, our words. If we drop the ball, well anything can happen. So here I am, thinking about the drama all around me one day and I am just working it around in my head like a tornado. Everything was starting to spin out of control, until I caught myself. I didn’t want to feel negative and angry all over again about events that had transpired. So I made a choice, “Not today!”

Sometimes we keep the drama going, by getting mama and ‘em involved. We start doing things prematurely without thinking. We may have cussed a few folks out or worse yelled at the Most High. We lose all self-control! We don’t see beyond our situations. We make things bigger than what they are. Then when it comes time to rejoice in the victories, we can’t even smile, not even a little bit, because we spent so much time worrying.

Some worries will occur in this life and we won’t always successfully get over them. However, when you find issues affecting the rest of your life, it’s time to check with a doctor, learn more about anxiety and depression, research natural remedies for worry, and most of all, plan to change some things in your diet and surroundings to keep some of the drama down!

If I had continued to think about the foolish, the weird, the strange and the “what-if” in my situations, who knows, I probably would have caused a heart attack. There just isn’t anything you can do about the things you have no control over--nothing! Yet, when it comes to yourself, you have all the power! You can make your feet walk away from a situation. You can pack up your bags to keep from hurting someone. You can create a plan to get you out of a miserable relationship, household, and/or job. Most importantly, you can pray.

I recall a phrase an uncle gave me once typewritten on paper, it read, “Rise Above It.” Whatever your “it” is in this life, rise above it, my friend. Whatever tool you need to get “above” utilize it!

God bless.

Nicholl McGuire


Fading Acne Scars on African American Skin - 5 Simple Steps to Clear Skin

African Americans and other women of colour are more prone to acne scars because of the extra melanin in the skin. Sometimes these bumps that come up under the skin but do not erupt fully can be just as annoying as pimples. When the under the skin bumps are pus filled they are cysts, otherwise they are known as nodules. By following these simple steps, you can fade acne scars and minimize the damage left behind when you get these kinds of bumps on your face.
1. Thoroughly wash/cleanse your face
Acne is caused when dirt/grease blocks your pores. Washing your face twice a day, preferably with an antibacterial face wash, will help to clean your pores. I wouldn't recommend soap as this can dry out your skin and cause excess oil to be produced. A face wash or cleanser containing 2% salicylic acid is ideal as it helps to prevent acne and remove build up of dead skin cells.
2. Exfoliate
Pores can also be clogged up with dead skin cells. Using a gentle facial scrub will help to remove dead skin cells to make your face appear brighter and clear your pores. The Clarisonic Skin Care Brush is ideal for cleansing and exfoliating. Many acne sufferers have seen dramatic results in just 4 weeks by using the Clarisonic twice a day.
3. Don't touch your face
This one is extremely difficult but it is a must. Touching your face spreads bacteria from your hands to your face, which will clog your pores and cause more spots. Unless you have just washed your hands, keep them away from your face!
4. Don't squeeze your spots
This should really have been number 1. You should never attempt to squeeze either because you'll end up 1) spreading the bacteria to cause more spots and 2) causing the ones that are there to last even longer. It's really annoying to have the spot there but picking at it won't make it go any faster. Try dabbing a benzoyl peroxide gel directly on the spot and that will dry that sucker up in no time.
5. Watch what you eat
Cut down on sugar up your intake of fruit and vegetables. Replace soda with water and try to drink 2 litres of it a day.
Old Acne Scars
Now, those tips are great for preventing new spots and acne scars but to fade acne scars that you already have, a gentle skin lightening product will help to even out your skin tone and eliminate acne scars. When choosing a skin lightening product, especially for African American skin, be sure to select a product with no hydroquinone as this can cause more harm than good in the long run.
By Anita Greenwood
Not sure which skin lightening product is right for you?


Domestic Violence: I Don't Love the Way You Lie

So Rihanna and Eminem partner up to do a song called, "I Love The Way You Lie." Did you see the video? If so, you may have had a mixed reaction to it like I did. Those of you who have been victims of dating and/or domestic violence know how relationships like the one portrayed in this video can be a roller coaster ride of emotions. One minute you are at the top and loving everything about your partner and then before you know it, you are emotionally coming down fast into a screaming pit of darkness -- you can't eat, sleep, and you often wonder how you are going to get out of this thing you call a relationship.

I understand the premise behind the video, but I don't know if I like the partnership. I mean we all know Eminem was an abused child turned grown man in a turbulent marriage. Yes, he has experience most likely being abusive too and yes, Rihanna as we all witnessed has experience receiving abuse. However, when two people are still walking on the dark side (look at their fruits) it's hard for me or anyone trying to walk in the light to embrace their so-called well-meaning message.

So I approach these entertainers (members of secret societies and other fraternal organizations) with a grain of salt all the while praying that despite all of the evil messages (prior to this song) they spread that some good will come out of a song like this and others.

The double meaning in the song "I love the way you lie" is a backward, confusing, and at times disturbing message in the sense that it is a play on the words. The message also brings a "dim" light to a dark situation. A twisted mentally abused victim has a hard time differentiating between fact and fiction, so she or he has no choice but to just believe in a false love. From lies to physical beatings, through it all, he or she is saying, "I love you anyway...the lies, the sex, the cheating, the attention you give me whether good or bad!" A child, a fool, or someone who is simply lost in this world will sing along while their subconscious mind will receive the message, "It's okay, Rihanna and Eminem know what I'm going through!"

The point to keep in mind while you listen to this song, "They may have gone through the abuse, but they got out, but you...what about you?"

Let us all stay away from mixing love with foolish, twisted and downright ignorant messages no matter what type of symbolism or metaphor is used upon us. Those of us who know better, no how the Devil likes to play games with our minds!

Nicholl McGuire
A survivor of domestic violence.


Black Hair Growth Vitamins For African American Women - Grow Long and Healthy Strands Naturally

Hair growth vitamins can really help African American women keep their strands and healthy. By meeting the nutritional needs of your strands, you can stop thinning and stimulate growth.
How Nutrients Cause the Strands to Grow
There are several tiny blood vessels in each pore located under every strand. These blood vessels are attached to the tips of the strands. They transport vital minerals and nutrients to the roots, which causes the strands to grow. If the blood that is transported to the roots is rich with vitamins and nutrients, the strands will grow faster.
How Vitamin Deficiencies Cause Hair Loss
If the body is lacking in important vitamins and minerals, the strands will grow at a slower rate. Deficiencies can also cause the strands to shed excessively. This happens because if the strands do not receive an adequate supply of nutrients, the blood supply will shut down. This causes the strands to fall out.
Black Hair Growth Vitamins
Vitamin H, also known as biotin, stimulates black hair growth because it strengthens and thickens the strands. You can get biotin by taking a multi-supplement or by taking pre-natal vitamins. Many women who take pre-natal vitamins notice that their strands become fuller. You can also get biotin by eating eggs, liver, or rice.
Vitamin E stimulates the strands to grow because increases circulation to the scalp. This supports the flow of nutrients to the roots, which will cause the strands to grow longer. You can include vitamin E in your diet by eating green leafy vegetables, nuts, and raw seeds.
You can get your strands to grow even faster by eating foods which contain sulfur. This includes nuts, vegetables, and milk.
Drink Plenty of Water
Hair loss vitamins will work much better if you drink a lot of water. If you do not get enough water, your body will eliminate essential vitamins and nutrients through urine.
By Jenna Grey
It is very important for you to begin treatment for your hair loss as soon as you notice that your strands are thinning. This will significantly increase your chances of getting your strands to grow back. If the follicles sit there for too long without strands, the follicles will lose their ability to function and the hair loss will become permanent.


How to Straighten African-American Hair

Did you know that you don't have to have a relaxer to straighten your hair? Your hair, natural and free from chemicals, can be bone straight. It doesn't matter how coarse your hair is, it is possible to straighten it without any chemicals! How do I know this? I have not had a relaxer for over 5 years, I wear my hair straight, and my hair is stronger and healthier than it has ever been. If you have really curly or thick, kinky hair, and you can't straighten it or have a hard time straightening your hair, I can help. I have very thick and very wavy hair and I like to wear it straight. The first thing you need to do is buy a good blow dryer. The strength of your blow dryer is essential to achieving a smooth, silky look. The next thing you need is a comb attachment for your blow dryer which can be purchased at any beauty supply store. You will need some sort of heat protector spray to protect your hair, and hair oil...I prefer kemi oil...also found at any beauty supply store. The last thing you will need is a good, ceramic flat iron. This kind of flat iron is much less damaging to your hair than a curling iron.

OK, now that you have all of the necessary supplies, it is time to get to work! First, make sure you wash your hair and comb it very gently. Remember that African-American Hair is very fragile and can break easily, especially if you have chemically treated hair. Be sure to comb the hair from the bottom to the top to avoid breakage. Next, divide your hair into four equal sections. Use a hair band (never a rubber band!) or clip to secure 3 of the sections leaving the fourth section out. You should attach the comb attachment to the blow dryer and it should fit easily with a firm push. Spray this section with the heat protector spray. Now you want to blow dry this first section of hair with the blow dryer and comb attachment until your hair is dry and as straight as you can get it. Repeat this step for the remaining 3 sections of hair, spraying each with heat protector spray. After you do this, run the blow dryer with comb attachment through all of you hair as if you are combing your hair. Take a quarter size amount of kemi oil and rub it through your hair and be sure to use a little extra on your ends. Then use the blow dryer again to evenly distribute the oil.

Now it is time to use the flat iron. Use the kemi oil sparingly as you flat iron your hair, concentrating on the ends. Be sure to set it to right temperature for your hair type. Start at the base of your neck and make a horizontal part about one-fourth of an inch thick. You will be parting your hair this way until you reach your front hairline. Next, starting at the end of the row, take a section of hair about an inch wide. Use the flat iron starting near the scalp and slide it slowly down that section of hair. If necessary, repeat this step. Continue to do this until you are done with all of your hair. Your hair is straight, smooth and silky!

By Eden Sheridan

Designer Living


African-American Ministers Becoming Political Leaders

Many have debated the question as to why selected African-American ministers are normally political leaders in their respective communities. Traditionally, African-American ministers have been elected as leaders for various reasons. The most obvious is based on the fact that the church is the center of the community and the leadership of the community has traditionally come from the church as determined by the people in the community.
First and foremost, the African-American church was developed out of slavery in America. Christianity as a religion was the moving force which started the church. As a result, the people in slavery gained strength from the invisible church in the South, the visible one in the North, and the independent African Methodist Episcopal Church. Furthermore, the community was and still is the church, thus making African-American lives the center of the relationship impacting the church.
Secondly, the education of African descendants in America started in the church, which has resulted in the finding of jobs by the church. Additionally, politicians normally visited the community churches for support and in return have used a quid pro quo system to gain votes for political jobs and appointments.
Furthermore, the first major African-American businesses came out of the church, such as Ebony and Jet magazines by the subscriptions from the members. The mortician and funeral services were also supported by the church, including the African-American baseball league which played after Sunday services. Based on these activities, the ministers were in the forefront of community leadership, administration, and support of the people in the cities.
Next, the ministers have proven themselves by supporting the community and the community has always looked upon its ministers for leadership and support. Naturally, it is obvious that the African-American ministers were elected to represent the community over white politicians because they were most trusted by the town's people. They were dependable and could identify quite easily with the struggles of the community and the people with whom they lived.
Traditionally, ministers such as: Reverend Dr. Floyd Flakes, senior pastor of Allen A. M. E. Cathedral of New York in Jamaica, Queens, and President of Wilberforce University in Ohio, was elected as a congressman by his community. The Reverend Walter Edward Fauntroy, pastor of the New Bethel Baptist Church in Washington, DC, and a civil rights activist was also elected to the United States Congress by the African-American community. He was also a candidate for the 1972 Democratic presidential nomination. The Reverend Jesse Louis Jackson, Sr., civil rights activist and Baptist minister was a candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1984 and 1988, and also served as shadow senator from the District of Columbia from 1991 to 1997.
Additionally, the Reverend Andrew Young, politician, diplomat and pastor from Georgia served as Mayor of Atlanta, a Congressman from the 5th district and United States Ambassador to the United Nations. Adam Clayton Powell, Jr., who served 14 terms in the U.S. House of Representatives, also came from the African-American areas. Rev. William H. Gray III, Pennsylvania Congressman and former head of the United Negro College Fund (UNCF) confided in the town's people. Last by not least, AME Church Bishop Henry McNeal Turner was elected to the Georgia Legislature in 1868 by the African-American regions. These are just a few of the ministers who were elected as political leaders by their community.
Recently, many have become disillusioned with the role of the African-American church and ministers. The issue surrounds the ineffectiveness of the church since the end of the civil right era from the 1970s which some stated has diminished. Many young men of African-American descent have now turned to Islam as a religion instead of Christianity for support. They have found more trust and confidence in Islam as a religion from Africa, and have viewed Christianity as a religion for Eurocentric people, whom invaded Africa, depleted its resources, and destroyed its kingdoms and dynasties.
Notwithstanding the elected offices, many African-American ministers have also served in high profiled positions across America. For example, Reverend Alfred Charles "Al" Sharpton, Jr., Baptist minister, civil rights activist, and radio talk show host who ran in 2004 for the Democratic nomination for the U. S. presidential election. Sharpton was also licensed and ordained a Pentecostal minister by Bishop F. D. Washington at the age of nine or ten years old. Recently Reverend Sharpton has called upon the ministers across America to support him in his quest to obtain assistance for the African-American regional members who are suffering from HIV/AIDS, which he classified as an epidemic in the community, a cause that requires an immediate solution.
Obviously, the African-American communities have supported its ministers and vice versa. The church which was born out of slavery and protest is the largest institution of American-American life. The church trusted its ministers and placed them in positions of leadership with authority to advocate for their rights.
Additionally, the historical black colleges and universities (HBCU) were started out of slavery. The churches and ministers in positions of leadership advocated for the HBCU establishment. Those who were fortunate enough to attend colleges gave such credit to the African-American churches and the leadership of its ministers, other clergy, and general staff.
Taking a deeper look, the community trusted its ministers more than other business leaders. Religious leaders were more apt to get the nod for office when it was election time over a non-religious leader in the community. It was the African-American ministers the community saw on Sunday mornings, at funerals, holiday picnics, weddings, and other community leadership events. The ministers helped the community instead of selling to or selling out the community.
The trust grew deeper with the ministers for a variety of reasons. For example, the ministers and churches providing bread baskets, soup kitchens, jobs, Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners, baptisms and birthday parties which the people loved. Additionally, places of refuge, personal and professional counseling, general assistance, reference letters for employment, places to grieve from hurt, and the like were also provided. The ministers were available and responded positively to the community.
Whites were also more apt to support an African-American minister for public office over someone who was not a minister because of religious and trust reasons. They supported the minister because they identified with the virtues and morality of the position, and the person, as in relation to someone who was not in such a position of leadership and public trust.
Naturally, it is obvious as to why African-American ministers are elected as political leaders by their community. The church is the community and vice versa, which grew out of slavery and protest. The establishment of a trusting relationship has long been a strong bond in the community. Additionally, advocating for the rights of the people of the community has held the ministers in favor of their constituency. Furthermore, the sustainment of faith during slavery and the civil rights struggle placed the African-American ministers in the forefront for public office by the African-American people.
Joseph S. Spence, Sr. (aka "Epulaeryu Master"), authored "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), published in seven languages, "A Trilogy of Poetry, Prose and Thoughts for the Mind, Body and Soul," and "Trilogy Moments for the Mind, Body and Soul." Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for Arkansas, and is a US Army veteran.


Unique African American Gifts

There is a wide range of unique African American gifts available today. For history buffs, a figurine of a historical figure would be a welcome gift for any occasion. Figurines of Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Madam C.J. Walker, Ida Wells, Frederick Douglas or a Buffalo Soldier, Tuskegee Airman or member of the Kansas Infantry will be proudly displayed.
Some African Americans collect memorabilia that has to do with the life, punishment, flight and emancipation of their ancestors. These collectors love to receive replicas of posters, documents and segregation signs. Some collect such things as chains and shackles that can be purchased at auction sales and are a part of history that is slowly fading away.
If your gift recipient is a lover of angels, there are so many beautiful ones available on today's market. Angels are popular and now you can purchase a line of African American angels. From the innocence and simplicity of child angels to the exquisite angels with flocked wings and carat gold trim, angels bring the feeling of love and peace into a home.
For a warm cozy feeling, give your gift recipient a blanket or throw. Perfect for a wedding gift is a throw that depicts an African American couple jumping the broom.
Black Heroes and African American Women are honored on throws and many have cushions to match. Throws depicting more contemporary scenes are also available.
For the religious gift recipient, give a beautiful Bible cover or organizer that shows a scene from the Good Book with African Americans going about their daily business of worshipping and praising God. Praying Hands and Mud Cloth designs are also available.
For children, there are a wide variety of books and games available. A good read is always welcome to the avid reader. Children will love learning about their culture by reading such books as Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas or The Underground Railroad. These books teach children the history of both their ancestry and America.
From African American calendars, books and figurines to CDs, DVDs and posters, you can easily find a unique gift for those of African American descent. Check stores that carry unique gift items or search online for that very special gift made just for the gift recipient.
Article written by Cassaundra Flores, owner of


The Best Chemical Peels For African American Skin

Chemical peels are popular cosmetic treatments that help to even the skin tone, texture and reduce wrinkles and fine lines. As African American skin is more prone to hyperpigmentation than other skin types, many African Americans look to chemical peels as an option to quickly even the skin tone. Not all cosmetic procedures that suit Caucasian skin types will suit other skin types so you may be wondering about chemical peels for African American skin. There are several different types of chemical peel available and some are definitely not recommended for African American skin. Whether you perform the peel at your dermatologist's office or at home, this article will tell you about the different types of chemical peels for African American skin.

There are superficial peels, medium surface peels and deep chemical peels available. Phenol peels are the deepest kind of peel that there is available and are definitely not recommended for black skin as there is a risk of severe damage. Phenol peels are used to treat scars, deep wrinkles or severely sun-damaged skin and can only be carried out once in a person's lifetime. A phenol peel cannot be carried out at home and the patient is usually under general anaesthetic while the peel is applied.

TCA or trichloroethanoic acid is a medium surface peel and should not be carried out at home on African American skin. TCA is excellent for fading dark marks, evening the skin tone and lightening the skin but should really be carried out by a licensed professional. Ensure your dermatologist is experienced in carrying out TCA peels on dark skin before making an appointment.

Superficial peels are by far the safest but they are also effective at dealing with skin discolorations. Salicylic acid, glycolic acid and lactic acid can all be used for superficial peels. Lactic acid is the mildest of the three but it can be used weekly or every two weeks depending on the concentration of the acid used. Lactic acid is effective for fading acne scars and other minor hyperpigmentation problems.

Salicylic acid is usually used for treating acne more than for hyperpigmentation. Salicylic acid is often found in face washes and moisturizers that are used to treat pimples or acne problems.

Glycolic acid is the strongest of the superficial peels and is effective at treating mild hyperpigmentation on African American skin.

It is important to remember as effective as these peels are for treating hyperpigmentation, they are acids and carelessness can damage your skin. When carrying out chemical peels for African American skin, be sure to discuss it with your dermatologist and follow the instructions very carefully if you decide to do it at home.

By Anita Greenwood

Not sure which skin lightening product is right for you? Visit Black Skin Lightening for reviews of the African American Skin Lightening Treatments to fade dark marks and lighten your skin tone.

MyChelle Dermaceuticals


Don't Underestimate That Ghetto Family Member or Friend

The college experience was something I was proud of as a late teen (1992) through my young twenty-something years. It opened up mental and physical doors that I would have never imagined! However, as I grew older, I began to think those same doors could have been opened at least expensive places, so I gave up my idea of being a career college student back in 1997. But like so many career-minded people, I realized I was brainwashed into forking over borrowed money; meanwhile, with broke relatives and friends in my ears cheering me on with empty hands!

Anyway, upon reflecting on my past college experience, I remember returning home between semesters for a visit and my grandmother saying, "You talk funny." I didn't know what she meant at first. I mean as far as I was concerned I was still same old me just a tad bit older. But then I started paying attention to other blacks, like myself, who spent the majority of time being in predominately white classrooms, participating in white-dominated extracurricular activities and social events and then that's when I realized what she was suggesting. The age old, "You act white!" is what she really meant.

Of course I would be influenced by the white populace! I went to their schools, wore their style clothes, and ate their less than seasoned meals. I couldn't help what I had become, it was all around me! Coming back home, exposed me to all sorts of ignorance. At times it angered me. There was a time and place for everything and it seemed that I was forced to take off my white persona and "act black." So sad, but true!

It seemed that the more time I spent in college, the more I resented some of my very ignorant relatives and friends. I began to distance myself from them. "What could I learn from poor black folks with no education anyway?" I told myself. There was all sorts of weird and confusing philosophies, opinions, and religious views given to me during my upbringing I began to question especially when a white person would ask me, "Where did you get that idea from?" First it was the superstitious behavior I had been pre-conditioned with, "Don't put your purse on the floor that's bad luck! You will stay broke that way. Don't split the pole! Spit on the broom you swept my foot! You know what that means if you break a mirror!" If all these statements were so true then I must have a lot of wealthy, good luck charms for relatives with great lives, right? Wrong! Secondly, there was the "God don't like ugly," statements. Then there was the "name it and claim it" gospel. Well if God don't like ugly there was a lot of it both inside and out. Why didn't the so-called wise elders practice their own gospel? Besides, if everything I spoke to their genie gods, I should have got, then why am I still in so much debt in 2010? I learned later in life about the one true God. Lastly, I had grown weary of my folks saying things like, "When I hit the lottery I will give you somethin'." A few times that happened, but it wasn't enough to do much of anything. What was wrong with"flipping," investing or saving money?

Someone who never attended college always had some negative commentary about someone who did. "You don't need a college education to know that..." they would say. Attempting to insult one's common sense. "I could pick up a book and read it myself. I don't need to go to school for four years to know that!" Oh the sounds of jealousy would permeate my ears. But through it all, I learned a thing or two from some of my ghetto folks.

I learned that some missed their callings to be psychologists, lawyers, entrepreneurs, bankers, and CEOs. At the bottom of the melting pot of ignorance were smart people who lacked the discipline to achieve. Rather, they enjoyed drugs, sex, and partying far too much than education. Anyone who aspired to be something better than average was mocked in my part of town. My ghetto card was long revoked by family and friends who would whisper, "She's weird." They didn't understand that there was more to life than working in the rat race and watching TV. They were too fearful of change!

Since those college years, I became an observer; rather than a participant in the ghetto lifestyle. I had my share during childhood between suckin' teeth when adults asked you a question to cracking gum. When I became older and disgruntled with the smooth talk and deceitful ways of the ghetto, I told myself, "these people are going to line my pockets with cash since they always want to borrow or take something from me." I would use what I learned from them, put an educational spin on it and make it work for me as an author, poet, sales person, etc. I saw far too many times "the ghetto" eat up the naive, generous and intelligent folks (black, white and otherwise) and spit them out! "There had to be a way to balance the white man's education with the ignorance of a black society," I thought. That is until I realized the power of the one true God is far greater than any education man could provide! Hence, this blog was born, my books: When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and over 500 articles throughout various websites and still counting. The ghetto is full of life lessons -- parables and proverbs.

Black ignorance complete with the gossip, slang, sassy head movements, loud laughing, and eye-ballin' are all signs of the darkness within! The feeling of being unsatisfied with one's life, but too lost and confused to do anything about it has sent some black folks to their graves or put others in the graves with them. There is an anger of being overlooked, suppressed, and told that one isn't good enough which comes out in the cussing and fighting that you either witness or hear about in the ghetto. So when you show up with a little somethin' somethin' in the ghetto, there is always someone who wants to call you back home or in other words call you out on your realness. "Keep it real! You keepin' it real? You a fake!"

It's hard to be happy for others when you aren't happy with yourself. It is a challenge to uplift your fellow man when you are down yourself! So when it comes to dealing with those ghetto relatives who rub you the wrong way, I say rather than cuss them out, learn from them. Pay attention to their tactics to brainwash, manipulate and scheme to get you to do what they want when they want. Create a plan before you are in the line of fire to protect yourself spiritually, mentally and physically. Learn how they work "the system" and avoid getting caught up in their conniving ways! Study them like an algebra test, know how they make math work for them. They are skilled people in their crafts. We all should know, because many of us were either exposed to them or are still very much ghetto!

Nicholl McGuire

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