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Wednesday

Strong Black Women & Weak Black Men

"I'm a strong black woman!" is a common phrase that some African American women use for self-motivation. This works well for many African American mothers struggling against the odds of potential failure if they do not succeed in providing a better life for themselves and children. However, there are some things that African American mothers need to notice while rearing boys in particular. Most often women focus on having more male influence when it comes to rearing the child, but there are also some considerations they must observe such as talking to their young men as they mature to establish an understanding that they had to remain strong for them through the adversities and not to assume that women who are assertive as they may have had to be as a norm for a relationship after they have left home. Often times, African American males will find themselves in a passive state when it comes to women after leaving the home if this situation remains unchecked and the mother will find her son being walked-over and used by some of the women they date and marry.
This is one of those things that are rarely mentioned and should be to avoid a disastrous relationship for the young man and to avoid mother-in-law conflict in the future. The African American mother maybe younger, inexperienced, and in some ways uncertain about her future and by asserting more control over the behavior of their son to avoid him getting into trouble is a measure that is designed for his safety. Issues after divorce or with the child's father may also play a role in this disposition, but in any case, it is incumbent for the mother to recognize that her strengths may lead to his weakness if he enters the world in a passive state. Now, some mother do go about delegating responsibility to their sons in an effort to familiarize him with the weight of being an adult, but this responsibility is useless if it is not also used as a learning opportunity as well.
The goal for the African American mother is to construct a path for the both of them that will reaffirm their bond as parent and child, create admiration and respect for the two of them, and develop a means to make a life-long support system for the two of them. It should be noted that hundreds of thousands of African American women go through the trials of being a single parent and therefore it is just as important to remains elective about the men they bring into their lives. The person that the African American woman chooses to share her life with is going to have an impact on the child and therefore the selection should be one that has a future to promote both she and the child.
The likelihood is that the African American female will have sustainable employment according to the statistics derived from the latest US Census and this means that she would need a man who has a job or at least skills and education to support her efforts to better both she and her child's lives. Finding a man with less than that is clearly a liability to all parties. She should seek someone who enlightens and can assist with learning and structuring a life plan for the child. This life-plan consists of values, morals, responsibilities, and goals. Also, the African American mother has a responsibility to remain faithful, caring, supportive, and a great, not good mother. The child she rears will be an assessment of her contribution to the world.
By having a talk with her young man before the age of 18 years to explain the differences in her approach to teaching him and the approach of other women who may try to take advantage of him should be stressed. If she does not or forgets to do so, she will be speaking to him about personal matters that he should be discussing with his wife or girlfriend. This is a common occurrence, because the mother will find herself having to coach her son to counter the authoritative nature of his spouse or live interest. Women in the world assess a man sometimes by how much she can openly get away with, and if she sees that he is passive in nature or too kind in many respects, abuse is bound to occur. No mother wants to see this happen to their sons and in order to prevent this, they should take time and examine this possibility. Most mothers may notice this when their sons date in high school by demanding girlfriends.
The goal of any mother is to make their little man the best one she could create for the world to enjoy, his skills, talents, and abilities that promotes growth, prosperity, and positive living.
James has several years of personal experience as a personal match-maker and informal relationship adviser with a successful track-record. In his twenty plus years in the aforementioned fields, he has mastered the realm of social networking by engaging in topics, and subject matter after extensive research. He has recently launched a web blog featuring some of the latest fashions by designers such as Lane Bryant, Just My Size, The Limited, and other name brands at affordable prices.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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