Showing posts with label self hate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self hate. Show all posts
Monday
Men Who Secretly Hate Women - Family, Workplace, Relationships
This my friends was an answer to prayer. Sometimes you think you know why some do what they do. What I have learned is when they can't get away with hating you, they move on to those who are clueless as to how deep the rabbit hole really is--this message has many thought-provoking meanings and layers upon layers of truth! Ancestors hated one another on the plantation and even now many still carry that hate in their DNA. How long, how long must we carry the burdens of our cursed forefathers' hate?
Break every yoke of bondage--get free of dysfunctional men who blatantly disrespect and are jealous of women. Cut your losses early, stay away from the angry men and women.(laboringtoloveanabusivemate.blogspot.com).
Friday
Self-Hatred: A Spiritual Condition that Needs Healing
It never seems to go away, self-hatred! "You ugly, you fat, you black...look at you with that nappy looking head...why you talk like that, like 'dem white folks!?" says our ignorant black relatives, friends, and foes, who have much animosity toward others because they just can't seem to develop a positive mindset about anything. Self-hatred cloaked in jealousy, covetous feelings, and violence shows up in one's life and before long, you are never the same. Oh yes, the haters hate themselves and this is why they will hate on you!
Like a seed needing water, self-hatred grew out of rejection. Blacks rejected by white men and women, shared their hate with a society that often put them down mentally or on the ground physically even when they weren't at fault. For centuries, those who lacked spiritual and educational knowledge and wisdom attempted to heal others only to further the hate by joining with dark forces that secretly wanted nothing more than to annihilate them. Before long, hate gained power and attached itself on an unsuspecting generation that wanted nothing more than to cut someone down irregardless of one's title in his or her life--teacher, friend, relative, husband, wife, lover, etc. Many black men and women to date walking around angry at others for no real reason other than the fact that, "You are in my life, why? I can't even tolerate myself much, much less you." We hear this hate in the music, see it on television, and watch it within our own families. "Why can't we just get along?" Some mentally disturbed individuals, couples, and groups who lack the will and the resources to get much needed healing.
For years, I have heard about our people hating themselves and I really didn't want to believe it especially when I first heard this from a white person. "Not us," I thought. "Why would we hate ourselves? What happened to black pride?" Well, evidently I needed a wake up call, I needed to take the time to examine our people, including myself, a little closer. "Yes, it looks like hate to me...why is she talking so badly about herself...calling her self ugly...why is he bad-mouthing on his people like that--he acts as if he hates black folks and he is black!" I thought to myself.
Self-hatred thrives in impoverished, uneducated black folks who were taught how to work unsatisfying jobs, runaway from the issues (like sons and daughters), and "just make it" (survive). We have a lot of work to still do, because despite great, great grandmothers and fathers dying, they left behind much ignorance! Black folks still talking negatively about those who choose not to perm their hair. Mad because some ruined their own hair and now they are rolling a head draped with European or Indian hair. Fat people talking about skinny people, skinny people talking about fat people. Women wishing they could find a man, angry because their sistas got a man--black, white, red and yellow. Arrogant brothas disappointed in other brothas as if they don't have any issues whatsoever until you expose their weaknesses. Yelling, cursing, acting like a fool on a public street, the hate-filled black man or woman can't get along with anyone no matter how hard they try!
No money, no love, and no truth, a disaster waiting to happen, the hater is going to seek out those who are weak just to get a laugh, a temporary emotion of elation, on someone else's pain. "I feel better now, I checked her...Yeah, I feel good, I put him in his place," some of our people think while they look in mirrors at eyes that are void of any light. Oh sure, black doesn't crack, but what about a miserable heart?
I don't know what you think of this issue of self-hatred, but I can tell you it is sad, so sad--a dark, lonely world filled with constant unhappiness. From no love for one's appearance to no love of one's conversation. Educated blacks can't stomach uneducated ones, because they are reminders of one's ghetto self still deep within--the old life, the struggle. Anger an educated black and ghetto will come out no matter how hard he or she tries to stay in character to appease the masses--he/she hates this about self.
When I view me, I no longer see what others see, that was my issue with the haters back in the day. I would hear everyone else's voice, but my own. I would try to bypass my own comfort with myself in an effort to appease my ignorant, troubled lovers--they had the strongest influence on me outside of my parents. The small-minded didn't like who they were. Some of these black men would speak so highly of the light skin, light color eyed, nicely dressed, handsome men in their circles as if they had nothing attractive about them.
Self-hatred has a way of showing up and showing out. You don't have to say or do much before the demon accuses you of acting a certain way, feeling a certain way, etc. It eye rolls, looks you up and down, and calls you names while saying, "You think you know so much...You don't know anything about me...You do you think you are! You are stupid...You are a b*tch...What did I ever see in you...Get out my face!" Oh so mad because the hate has been exposed!
Self-hatred retaliates tries to belittle you because he was told how ugly he was or still is. The hate is like bullets from a gun whose job is to kill. The only way you can protect yourself from words that kill is to take cover! "I am not what you think I am...I love myself...I appreciate who I am...God is with me...He is the source of my strength...Why should I care about anything you say, look at yourself?" You defend you, because no one else should love you more than you! This is why spiritually so many blacks run to a faith that sustains them through life's difficult storms--no matter how much the haters say you are weak for doing so! Wise African Americans know they can't manage the hate on their own. They know they can't allow the hate of others to corrupt them either. They don't see a white God, they experience spiritual renewal! Some simply have come too far to go back now.
Consider what is happening around you when you hear your parent, brotha or sista talking much negativity about others, why do they hate so much? What happened in their lives that they became a self-appointed agent for dispensing hate. Refuse to walk in their darkness, gloom and eventual doom.
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire shares more spiritual insight here.
Like a seed needing water, self-hatred grew out of rejection. Blacks rejected by white men and women, shared their hate with a society that often put them down mentally or on the ground physically even when they weren't at fault. For centuries, those who lacked spiritual and educational knowledge and wisdom attempted to heal others only to further the hate by joining with dark forces that secretly wanted nothing more than to annihilate them. Before long, hate gained power and attached itself on an unsuspecting generation that wanted nothing more than to cut someone down irregardless of one's title in his or her life--teacher, friend, relative, husband, wife, lover, etc. Many black men and women to date walking around angry at others for no real reason other than the fact that, "You are in my life, why? I can't even tolerate myself much, much less you." We hear this hate in the music, see it on television, and watch it within our own families. "Why can't we just get along?" Some mentally disturbed individuals, couples, and groups who lack the will and the resources to get much needed healing.
For years, I have heard about our people hating themselves and I really didn't want to believe it especially when I first heard this from a white person. "Not us," I thought. "Why would we hate ourselves? What happened to black pride?" Well, evidently I needed a wake up call, I needed to take the time to examine our people, including myself, a little closer. "Yes, it looks like hate to me...why is she talking so badly about herself...calling her self ugly...why is he bad-mouthing on his people like that--he acts as if he hates black folks and he is black!" I thought to myself.
Self-hatred thrives in impoverished, uneducated black folks who were taught how to work unsatisfying jobs, runaway from the issues (like sons and daughters), and "just make it" (survive). We have a lot of work to still do, because despite great, great grandmothers and fathers dying, they left behind much ignorance! Black folks still talking negatively about those who choose not to perm their hair. Mad because some ruined their own hair and now they are rolling a head draped with European or Indian hair. Fat people talking about skinny people, skinny people talking about fat people. Women wishing they could find a man, angry because their sistas got a man--black, white, red and yellow. Arrogant brothas disappointed in other brothas as if they don't have any issues whatsoever until you expose their weaknesses. Yelling, cursing, acting like a fool on a public street, the hate-filled black man or woman can't get along with anyone no matter how hard they try!
No money, no love, and no truth, a disaster waiting to happen, the hater is going to seek out those who are weak just to get a laugh, a temporary emotion of elation, on someone else's pain. "I feel better now, I checked her...Yeah, I feel good, I put him in his place," some of our people think while they look in mirrors at eyes that are void of any light. Oh sure, black doesn't crack, but what about a miserable heart?
I don't know what you think of this issue of self-hatred, but I can tell you it is sad, so sad--a dark, lonely world filled with constant unhappiness. From no love for one's appearance to no love of one's conversation. Educated blacks can't stomach uneducated ones, because they are reminders of one's ghetto self still deep within--the old life, the struggle. Anger an educated black and ghetto will come out no matter how hard he or she tries to stay in character to appease the masses--he/she hates this about self.
When I view me, I no longer see what others see, that was my issue with the haters back in the day. I would hear everyone else's voice, but my own. I would try to bypass my own comfort with myself in an effort to appease my ignorant, troubled lovers--they had the strongest influence on me outside of my parents. The small-minded didn't like who they were. Some of these black men would speak so highly of the light skin, light color eyed, nicely dressed, handsome men in their circles as if they had nothing attractive about them.
Self-hatred has a way of showing up and showing out. You don't have to say or do much before the demon accuses you of acting a certain way, feeling a certain way, etc. It eye rolls, looks you up and down, and calls you names while saying, "You think you know so much...You don't know anything about me...You do you think you are! You are stupid...You are a b*tch...What did I ever see in you...Get out my face!" Oh so mad because the hate has been exposed!
Self-hatred retaliates tries to belittle you because he was told how ugly he was or still is. The hate is like bullets from a gun whose job is to kill. The only way you can protect yourself from words that kill is to take cover! "I am not what you think I am...I love myself...I appreciate who I am...God is with me...He is the source of my strength...Why should I care about anything you say, look at yourself?" You defend you, because no one else should love you more than you! This is why spiritually so many blacks run to a faith that sustains them through life's difficult storms--no matter how much the haters say you are weak for doing so! Wise African Americans know they can't manage the hate on their own. They know they can't allow the hate of others to corrupt them either. They don't see a white God, they experience spiritual renewal! Some simply have come too far to go back now.
Consider what is happening around you when you hear your parent, brotha or sista talking much negativity about others, why do they hate so much? What happened in their lives that they became a self-appointed agent for dispensing hate. Refuse to walk in their darkness, gloom and eventual doom.
Stay blessed.
Nicholl McGuire shares more spiritual insight here.
Mama Stop Combing My Hair!
When we were younger many of us, African Americans, got our hair combed by someone who had little patience and even less money to get us the quality hair products that could detangle our hair in an instant. We suffered through all the hair pulling, hot comb dropping, and cursing we received from some who claimed they loved us, but we had a hard time believing that by our teen years.
By the time we had enough courage to say, "Mama stop combing my hair, I can do it myself!" it was almost time to get a job and move. Life wasn't always easy being a child with, dare I say it, nappy hair even if it wasn't that bad. But any hair that wasn't bone straight in the black community--that is where the comb didn't go straight through--and lacked a jaw-dropping wave pattern was considered "nappy, ugly, hard to deal with hair." I can still hear mama, grandma and uncle saying, "Hold your head still..." while my head hurted from all the tugging due to straightening, braiding, blow drying, etc."
So as I write this, I couldn't help but think that from the top of many of our heads to the soles of our feet we were programmed early to hate what God created. A nappy head with facial features that weren't considered attractive by non-blacks was talked about. Pimples on a face with a big or small behind was talked about. Big teeth, little breasts, dark skin, white-looking skin, or wide hips, it didn't matter what it was or who owned it, you were talked about badly.
Even now, the insecure black individual who has yet to rid his or herself of the family's name-calling is attacking others before he or she is attacked. They are rushing to hurt someone with their ugly names only further perpetuating a negative history. You can't help but think a person is unattractive when they have a nasty attitude and evil words to go along with features they may or may not be nice to look at in one's sight.
Consider this, just as we got the courage one day to tell mama, "I can do my own hair!" Why not, have the same courage to speak something positive over your own head? From the one managing your household to the leader at work as well as yourself. Speak positively about yourself and others. Find strengths not weaknesses especially those that can't be helped!
Here's an example, "I might have this challenge, but I will fix it the best way I can...I might not be in the best mood today to take care of my tasks, but I will do them anyway with my Creator's help...God give me the patience and love to help others." What if mama had this type of attitude before, during and after she did our hai?. What if she chose to change her state of mind. What if she had put some money away to buy the right products to help us overcome our hair problems? What if mama took the time to read and figure out what to do about our challenging hair? Apply this example to something you might be grappling with or someone else who you love.
We don't have to follow in anyone's footsteps before us. Choose to be different! Come up higher and stop letting mama and them do your hair when you can do it yourself!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street. Available as an e-book and printed book.
By the time we had enough courage to say, "Mama stop combing my hair, I can do it myself!" it was almost time to get a job and move. Life wasn't always easy being a child with, dare I say it, nappy hair even if it wasn't that bad. But any hair that wasn't bone straight in the black community--that is where the comb didn't go straight through--and lacked a jaw-dropping wave pattern was considered "nappy, ugly, hard to deal with hair." I can still hear mama, grandma and uncle saying, "Hold your head still..." while my head hurted from all the tugging due to straightening, braiding, blow drying, etc."
So as I write this, I couldn't help but think that from the top of many of our heads to the soles of our feet we were programmed early to hate what God created. A nappy head with facial features that weren't considered attractive by non-blacks was talked about. Pimples on a face with a big or small behind was talked about. Big teeth, little breasts, dark skin, white-looking skin, or wide hips, it didn't matter what it was or who owned it, you were talked about badly.
Even now, the insecure black individual who has yet to rid his or herself of the family's name-calling is attacking others before he or she is attacked. They are rushing to hurt someone with their ugly names only further perpetuating a negative history. You can't help but think a person is unattractive when they have a nasty attitude and evil words to go along with features they may or may not be nice to look at in one's sight.
Consider this, just as we got the courage one day to tell mama, "I can do my own hair!" Why not, have the same courage to speak something positive over your own head? From the one managing your household to the leader at work as well as yourself. Speak positively about yourself and others. Find strengths not weaknesses especially those that can't be helped!
Here's an example, "I might have this challenge, but I will fix it the best way I can...I might not be in the best mood today to take care of my tasks, but I will do them anyway with my Creator's help...God give me the patience and love to help others." What if mama had this type of attitude before, during and after she did our hai?. What if she chose to change her state of mind. What if she had put some money away to buy the right products to help us overcome our hair problems? What if mama took the time to read and figure out what to do about our challenging hair? Apply this example to something you might be grappling with or someone else who you love.
We don't have to follow in anyone's footsteps before us. Choose to be different! Come up higher and stop letting mama and them do your hair when you can do it yourself!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Floral Beauty on a Dead End Street. Available as an e-book and printed book.
Tuesday
There is a Mental Illness Among Certain Blacks: Hating The Skin Their In
Okay, at first I didn't want to admit it, I just wanted to sweep it under the rug, but my brothas and sistas, some people in our circle are sick. They suffer from what I would like to call, "I hate my black self." Now they won't come out and say it, because they know they will have to face much ridicule from family and friends, but the evidence is clear. From the way they act around other races of people from the things they buy, someone in their family must have hurt them so bad that they just don't do black any longer.
My first experience observing a black with this mental illness I speak of was back in high school. I met a black girl who had mannerisms that said, "I hate my black self and I am running away from it too." People called her all sorts of names because of her dark skin. I wasn't one of them because I had my own issues of being black, I never saw myself as a lightskin black, but other people did and needless to say I experienced racism within my own race. I didn't know the history behind my skin tone, nor did I think I had some special incentives because of it. But I digress and will have to explore that topic on a later date, but back to her and my point for writing this blog, anyway, she would talk in a way that seemed rehearsed. She used, "like really..Oh my God...and what the f*ck man..." you know statements that we would consider "acting white." Now I liked her, thought she was cool, but I knew my sista had some serious issues. She watched mainly movies with white people in them, exclusively dated white men, went places that were primarily shopped by whites, eventually got pregnant by one and he left her. And she would tell me alot about white people. She definitely had her hands in the cookie jar and I was curious. But what she didn't tell me was how much she hated being black. Instead, it showed up in her actions. I knew there was something wrong and when I met her mother it reinforced the weird feeling I felt the more I hung around her. Her mother wasn't too happy with her black self either. So there it was the root of her issues passed on by her mother. So I say all of that to say this, why do blacks think that by hanging around exclusively white people that some how they will still be able "to keep it real?" It just doesn't happen that way over a long period of time, being around any race other than your own on a regular basis will change you in some ways. I live in a predominately Chinese community and trust me, if I had a choice in the matter, it would have never happened, but the man I am with picked it because it is minutes away from his job. Further, I don't think I'm Chinese, but I will tell you that now that I live here, I have an appreciation for Chinese art that I never had before. I will spend some time looking at the detail in the furniture that the Chinese create and will study their portraits, abstract art, and statues. I think if you are around anything long enough you will be influenced in some way.
So I think some of these blacks who choose to spend the majority of their time with other races; instead of their own are doing it because they don't like what they see within nor do they like what they see around them. If you grew up around a bunch of busybody, loud mouth, impoverished blacks whose idea of a good time was talking about you and your momma, then I guess I wouldn't want to be around those certain type of black folks, but I wouldn't close myself off to an entire race either.
Another issue I have with this mental illness of hating onself in the black community, is with brothas who claim they want to be with a sista then when they get her, they want to talk about her "attitude," like they don't have one, and to make it worse they will treat every other race of women so polite and nice then come home with no smile, barely speaking, and then taking out their "attitude" on her. It's always her fault for why he can't be happy, get ahead, find something, go somewhere, etc. Instead of holding himself accountable. Then when he can't seem to make things right with her, because "she got an attitude," he starts looking out in the street, at work, and on the Internet for his next victim. I say victim, because every sista starts off smiling, boasting, buying, and loving a brotha and then when it's all said and done, she is frowning, lying, witholding, and hating a brotha. I can speak to this issue, because I have experience. You see, a few of the men I dated had this mental illness I speak of. They got with my lightskin self, because as one brotha put it, "I got the best of both worlds." He went on to tell me that he "had a black woman with some white girl ways," now you know I had to leave that sick brotha alone. What college-educated black woman doesn't have some white ways since she has "to perform" in order to get ahead. There will be no shucking and jiving when talking to the man!
This issue of hating one's self because momma left a bad taste in some brotha's mouth so he will only do women who are totally the opposite of momma or hating black men, because she allowed too many to break her heart, or some other crazy reason for losing one's self in a sea of brown, white, red, yellow, or some other color is sick! You know it and I know it. I can respect someone who is open-minded to date all sorts of races just because they are in search of love, that has always been me and anyone who knows me, knows that. But this twisted thinking that if you can get a lightskin or white skin person to fall in love with you so you can have pretty babies is absurb and I can't help but think that some people I know have been guilty of this! This crazy thinking that somehow I can feel better about myself if I talk and walk like other races and spend most of my time hanging around nothing but white people is damn near suicidal! And last but not least, to teach one's child to never trust a brotha, live in a black neighborhood, give a fellow man your business, or sit down and eat at his house is ridiculous! But there are blacks teaching their children these things like the Bible, I can hear them now after Obama was elected and picking members of his cabinet, "See Matthew and Theresa you too can be just like Obama one day just so long as you surround yourself with white people. White people got Oprah far...White people got Clarence Thomas far...White people got your mommy and daddy far, leave those no n*ggas alone, okay?" The children respond, "Yes mommy and daddy we will." Another generation shall grow up fleeing black!
"So what is the bottom line and what does this idea of certain blacks hating themselves have to do with me?" I'm glad you asked, but if you had to then you either aren't black or missed my entire point. It has everything to do with you if not now, some time in the future. Because if you have children and these self-hating blacks are teaching your children in schools and in other programs, something is going to be said at some point that will change the way your children think about themselves. If your misguided cousin, aunt, uncle, sista, or brotha, starts bad mouthing blacks, or dare they say it, "N*ggas," or whatever other name they come up with, their attitude will affect how you choose to deal or not deal with them as well as anyone who is in a relationship with you. "Don't worry about my crazy relative..." will not smooth over hurt feelings, check them before they end up checking whoever you decide to have a serious relationship with. Their attitude may influence those around you to not want to deal with you, because you may be "too black, ghetto, poor..." or what ever other thought they may have about you. So you see, it is a mental illness amongst a few that can infect the whole family and/or whole nation. And as you may know, anyone who hates themselves, can be a problem on the job, in a social group, or somewhere else where harmony is a must. It makes you wonder if self-hating blacks are really the ones behind the negative images or lack of representation we see on television? Just think a powerful black in the boardroom saying, "No, I rather see Lily do that scene, because well you know how Keisha can be..." or what about a potential job offer or an opportunity to join a group this self-hating black, "No, I think Tyrone wouldn't be good for the organization, well you know his dreadlocks are a problem. Let's pass on Katina too, because you know she has all those kids to care for." Sometimes these self-hating blacks only want to be the only black on a job or organization, so they will stop at nothing to keep you from meeting any quotas, we will have to touch on that issue another time!
Written by: Nicholl McGuire
My first experience observing a black with this mental illness I speak of was back in high school. I met a black girl who had mannerisms that said, "I hate my black self and I am running away from it too." People called her all sorts of names because of her dark skin. I wasn't one of them because I had my own issues of being black, I never saw myself as a lightskin black, but other people did and needless to say I experienced racism within my own race. I didn't know the history behind my skin tone, nor did I think I had some special incentives because of it. But I digress and will have to explore that topic on a later date, but back to her and my point for writing this blog, anyway, she would talk in a way that seemed rehearsed. She used, "like really..Oh my God...and what the f*ck man..." you know statements that we would consider "acting white." Now I liked her, thought she was cool, but I knew my sista had some serious issues. She watched mainly movies with white people in them, exclusively dated white men, went places that were primarily shopped by whites, eventually got pregnant by one and he left her. And she would tell me alot about white people. She definitely had her hands in the cookie jar and I was curious. But what she didn't tell me was how much she hated being black. Instead, it showed up in her actions. I knew there was something wrong and when I met her mother it reinforced the weird feeling I felt the more I hung around her. Her mother wasn't too happy with her black self either. So there it was the root of her issues passed on by her mother. So I say all of that to say this, why do blacks think that by hanging around exclusively white people that some how they will still be able "to keep it real?" It just doesn't happen that way over a long period of time, being around any race other than your own on a regular basis will change you in some ways. I live in a predominately Chinese community and trust me, if I had a choice in the matter, it would have never happened, but the man I am with picked it because it is minutes away from his job. Further, I don't think I'm Chinese, but I will tell you that now that I live here, I have an appreciation for Chinese art that I never had before. I will spend some time looking at the detail in the furniture that the Chinese create and will study their portraits, abstract art, and statues. I think if you are around anything long enough you will be influenced in some way.
So I think some of these blacks who choose to spend the majority of their time with other races; instead of their own are doing it because they don't like what they see within nor do they like what they see around them. If you grew up around a bunch of busybody, loud mouth, impoverished blacks whose idea of a good time was talking about you and your momma, then I guess I wouldn't want to be around those certain type of black folks, but I wouldn't close myself off to an entire race either.
Another issue I have with this mental illness of hating onself in the black community, is with brothas who claim they want to be with a sista then when they get her, they want to talk about her "attitude," like they don't have one, and to make it worse they will treat every other race of women so polite and nice then come home with no smile, barely speaking, and then taking out their "attitude" on her. It's always her fault for why he can't be happy, get ahead, find something, go somewhere, etc. Instead of holding himself accountable. Then when he can't seem to make things right with her, because "she got an attitude," he starts looking out in the street, at work, and on the Internet for his next victim. I say victim, because every sista starts off smiling, boasting, buying, and loving a brotha and then when it's all said and done, she is frowning, lying, witholding, and hating a brotha. I can speak to this issue, because I have experience. You see, a few of the men I dated had this mental illness I speak of. They got with my lightskin self, because as one brotha put it, "I got the best of both worlds." He went on to tell me that he "had a black woman with some white girl ways," now you know I had to leave that sick brotha alone. What college-educated black woman doesn't have some white ways since she has "to perform" in order to get ahead. There will be no shucking and jiving when talking to the man!
This issue of hating one's self because momma left a bad taste in some brotha's mouth so he will only do women who are totally the opposite of momma or hating black men, because she allowed too many to break her heart, or some other crazy reason for losing one's self in a sea of brown, white, red, yellow, or some other color is sick! You know it and I know it. I can respect someone who is open-minded to date all sorts of races just because they are in search of love, that has always been me and anyone who knows me, knows that. But this twisted thinking that if you can get a lightskin or white skin person to fall in love with you so you can have pretty babies is absurb and I can't help but think that some people I know have been guilty of this! This crazy thinking that somehow I can feel better about myself if I talk and walk like other races and spend most of my time hanging around nothing but white people is damn near suicidal! And last but not least, to teach one's child to never trust a brotha, live in a black neighborhood, give a fellow man your business, or sit down and eat at his house is ridiculous! But there are blacks teaching their children these things like the Bible, I can hear them now after Obama was elected and picking members of his cabinet, "See Matthew and Theresa you too can be just like Obama one day just so long as you surround yourself with white people. White people got Oprah far...White people got Clarence Thomas far...White people got your mommy and daddy far, leave those no n*ggas alone, okay?" The children respond, "Yes mommy and daddy we will." Another generation shall grow up fleeing black!
"So what is the bottom line and what does this idea of certain blacks hating themselves have to do with me?" I'm glad you asked, but if you had to then you either aren't black or missed my entire point. It has everything to do with you if not now, some time in the future. Because if you have children and these self-hating blacks are teaching your children in schools and in other programs, something is going to be said at some point that will change the way your children think about themselves. If your misguided cousin, aunt, uncle, sista, or brotha, starts bad mouthing blacks, or dare they say it, "N*ggas," or whatever other name they come up with, their attitude will affect how you choose to deal or not deal with them as well as anyone who is in a relationship with you. "Don't worry about my crazy relative..." will not smooth over hurt feelings, check them before they end up checking whoever you decide to have a serious relationship with. Their attitude may influence those around you to not want to deal with you, because you may be "too black, ghetto, poor..." or what ever other thought they may have about you. So you see, it is a mental illness amongst a few that can infect the whole family and/or whole nation. And as you may know, anyone who hates themselves, can be a problem on the job, in a social group, or somewhere else where harmony is a must. It makes you wonder if self-hating blacks are really the ones behind the negative images or lack of representation we see on television? Just think a powerful black in the boardroom saying, "No, I rather see Lily do that scene, because well you know how Keisha can be..." or what about a potential job offer or an opportunity to join a group this self-hating black, "No, I think Tyrone wouldn't be good for the organization, well you know his dreadlocks are a problem. Let's pass on Katina too, because you know she has all those kids to care for." Sometimes these self-hating blacks only want to be the only black on a job or organization, so they will stop at nothing to keep you from meeting any quotas, we will have to touch on that issue another time!
Written by: Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.
