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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.
Showing posts with label laboring to love an abusive mate. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laboring to love an abusive mate. Show all posts

Tuesday

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

"Never trust a big booty and a smile!" remember that old line in the 90s hit, Poison, by Bell, Biv and Devoe. Well there are many men falling for the woman who bends over in a photograph and shakes her rump. Meanwhile, these women, who are worse than a prostitute, (at least she gets paid) is putting things on her profile like "I desire a good man, a man who will respect me, a man who will appreciate me, someone who I can trust" huh?

I hope that parents are teaching their sons a thing or two about the foolish women out there who will drop their drawls for just about anything (ie. Badu.) I have four boys and they have been shown example after example of bad women. I have one son who will shake his head and even point out some of these women who think they are sexy stepping out in high heel shoes with dimpled thighs, fat rolls around their waist, and in some cases age marks on their face and arms (oh yes 40 plus thinks she is cute too!)

So while there are many women preaching about "There aren't any good men," I beg to differ, "Where are the good women?" There are some who know how to dress the part, but they are bitter. Mad because someone from back in the day hurt them and any one who dares to get close to them just might get bit right along with the unsuspecting man's family too!

You see, we sit back and say, "Shame, shame at least that's not me..." Oh but it will affect you whether your son, brother, cousin, or nephew dates, marries, or brings "his friend" around. Whatever poison she is dripping in his ear will eventually come to the surface like a pimple getting ready to burst and you will have to sit and look at that ugly thing, now won't you?

Love is out there but the only way young men and women will be able to find it is if they go to places where true love thrives! It doesn't live in the club, on a bar stool, standing on the corner with a mini-skirt on wearing bright lipstick and over-the-top hair! Love isn't rolling her eyes behind the counter cracking bubble gum or cussing someone out on her cell phone. Love isn't pumping bass through the neighborhood showing off in a car that is a magnet for the police. Love isn't out on the street hustling illegal drugs or standing on the porch hollering expletives to his boys.

Love isn't in the hood. Love is with God. The only way any of us can find true love is when we seek out our Creator and accept him into our heart. Just like we can go to a doctor and accept whatever the diagnosis is, we can do the same with God. It starts with reading the Gospels and pondering on what you read. Then associating with like-minded people who can share with you their experiences walking with God. Love can be found, but too many of us have been misguided, it can't be found with another man or woman until we connect or reconnect with our Creator.

Peace,

Nicholl McGuire Author of When Mothers Cry http://whenmotherscry.blogspot.com
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Friday

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month

You may have heard a story about domestic violence, been a victim yourself or just don't understand why women stay, whatever your reason for being interested in Domestic Violence Awareness, you are at least making an attempt to educate yourself and possibly help someone else and that's all anyone who once was a victim and those who are now deceased would want, but for those people who want to do more, the following are tips to help you get started.

First, conduct research about domestic violence. You should be able to answer some of the why, how, when, what, and who questions related to the subject. Also, read about others' plights. Even though many of the stories have similar patterns, there is always something new in each that may stimulate thoughts of " I never knew that."

Second, be sure that you are sincerely empathetic and not judgmental about those who have been in violent relationships. You will know if you have resolved your own issues about women who stay, by how you react when listening to their stories. If you find that you are pushing down negative feelings and trying hard to refrain from making harsh comments, then it would be best that you don't attend any events or visit places where people are sharing their traumatic ordeals until you can get a command over your own feelings. The last thing that any victim or survivor wants is another person telling them "how stupid" he or she is for staying.

Third, conduct research in your community of existing events about domestic violence awareness. Are there any groups hosting a vigil for the deceased? What about workshops and seminars? Are there any advertisements, public service announcements, fliers, or some other literature readily available and widely seen in your neighborhood to call attention to the problem.

Fourth, find out from local police how they respond to domestic violence calls and what you should do if you hear or witness someone being abused.

Fifth, create a list of ways you may be able to let people know about domestic violence. You may want to distribute information and trinkets with a hotline number and/or create a fund-raiser and give the proceeds to a local women's shelter. Take out ad space in your local newspaper. If you are affiliated with a church, find out how leadership handles domestic violence cases and offer to speak about the issue. You can also work with schools and local colleges to appear as a guest speaker.

Sixth, pen your experience in a form of a book or record your story on audio. Let people know how you overcame your own situation. Then offer your book or audio to individuals or organizations who might be interested in your subject matter. A local theater may be interested in performing your life story in play form.

Lastly, be a good listener. Know what to say and how to say it when someone shares details of their life. Be ready to provide advice. You can obtain information from any women's shelter or simply type in "domestic violence" along with your state's name in your search engine window. A list of organizations are already established with free information to help you.

Nicholl McGuire, Author
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate http://www.amazon.com/Laboring-Love-Abusive-Mate-21-year-old/dp/1434818306

Watch the video about Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtUMok1h1cE
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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