Black Women: Favoring Black Men, Hating their Sisters

They will give a man the pass, make a deal, sleep with him, befriend the player, and all the while hate their own kind, black women who favor men. 

"I just can't get along with women...I can't stand them...I mean I can tolerate some females, but you know how they can be."  These women-hating women are the ones who will not cut any slack when it comes to dealing with women in fields like:  customer service, hospitality, childcare, publishing, law, manufacturing, housekeeping, and any other industry.  They just love men!  They favor them so much that they will even risk their jobs just to cut a man a break!

When a woman who has the same problem/concern that a man has approaches the women-hating type, she will cut him slack on a bill, give him the best part of the meat, serve him with a smile, laugh at his jokes, and offer him additional assistance including sex.  But when it comes to her sister, her attitude is negative, she doesn't care much about the quality of work she is providing, and will not bend the rules under any circumstances to help her sister like she did her brother.

These women, who favor men, often find themselves having to:  cover up their schemes, unfair treatment, gift-giving, trickery, and more.  They will throw anyone under the bus who questions their actions.  They are typically careful about hiding their true feelings about other women, but sometimes they slip up in the way that they respond to other women.  A happy greeting toward a man and small talk, quickly leaves when she is expected to perform the same action with a woman.  She is often fault-finding when it comes to women at the workplace, church, and even in her own family.  She will lie or exaggerate stories to cover for a man she has "hooked up."  She will pretend as if she treats everyone the same.

Watch out for women who are all smiles when it comes to men and all frowns when it comes to their own kind.  The minute you cross them, they will find a way to pay you back.  It is best not to accept their so-called favors. 

Nicholl McGuire  

5 Reasons Black Women Can't Save Money | Celebrity News & Style for Black Women

I had to share this article with my readers, because there are many valid points.  We may appear like we are strong women, but I can assure you that behind every black woman she has a weakness whether it is her man, children or both.  Sometimes she is weak to her relatives and best friends requests like help with education, event planning, money management, or some "hook up" that might put her job on the line.  Then when favors are completed, money is spent, family events are over, and dreams fulfilled, she is complaining, got an attitude, just mad because she knows she really should have thought twice before putting herself out there to help someone.

God doesn't put no more on us than we can bear and some of us are walking around with the weight of the world on our shoulders!  Let God take up some of those burdens.  Read the following article, and check yourself before you wreck yourself like a rapper back in the day said once!  God bless!

5 Reasons Black Women Can't Save Money | Celebrity News & Style for Black Women

Is The Black Church A Financial Scam? | Celebrity News & Style for Black Women

I have been attending church for years.  I have given to many different funds.  Some ministries did what they were supposed to do with the money they asked for, but others didn't.  Pastor didn't cut out his salary so that the building could be repaired.  His wife didn't stop dressing up to get programs started that she claimed, "God told her to begin."  Staff in some cases wasn't getting paid, yet leadership wants a new church!?  So then I had no choice but to ask this question, "Where is the $$$ going?"  Needless to say, God would raise the red flag about certain groups and out I would go.

I love our people, don't get me wrong!  But many of our people are hustlers!!  Old school watched too much Amos and Andy shows and took notes.  From Grandma and Grandpa lying and saying they need money for bills when in all actuality, they just want money to gamble.  "Baby, you know I will give you something when I win..."  Yeah right.  Look I don't work or save my money to fund hustlers and you shouldn't either!  Drill your relatives, church leaders, and others when they come looking for some money.  Then take a couple days and pray about it.  And whatever you do, don't co-sign on no one's loan!   "Do not be a man who strikes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts..." Proverbs 22:26

Is The Black Church A Financial Scam? | Celebrity News & Style for Black Women

Strong Black Women & Weak Black Men

"I'm a strong black woman!" is a common phrase that some African American women use for self-motivation. This works well for many African American mothers struggling against the odds of potential failure if they do not succeed in providing a better life for themselves and children. However, there are some things that African American mothers need to notice while rearing boys in particular. Most often women focus on having more male influence when it comes to rearing the child, but there are also some considerations they must observe such as talking to their young men as they mature to establish an understanding that they had to remain strong for them through the adversities and not to assume that women who are assertive as they may have had to be as a norm for a relationship after they have left home. Often times, African American males will find themselves in a passive state when it comes to women after leaving the home if this situation remains unchecked and the mother will find her son being walked-over and used by some of the women they date and marry.
This is one of those things that are rarely mentioned and should be to avoid a disastrous relationship for the young man and to avoid mother-in-law conflict in the future. The African American mother maybe younger, inexperienced, and in some ways uncertain about her future and by asserting more control over the behavior of their son to avoid him getting into trouble is a measure that is designed for his safety. Issues after divorce or with the child's father may also play a role in this disposition, but in any case, it is incumbent for the mother to recognize that her strengths may lead to his weakness if he enters the world in a passive state. Now, some mother do go about delegating responsibility to their sons in an effort to familiarize him with the weight of being an adult, but this responsibility is useless if it is not also used as a learning opportunity as well.
The goal for the African American mother is to construct a path for the both of them that will reaffirm their bond as parent and child, create admiration and respect for the two of them, and develop a means to make a life-long support system for the two of them. It should be noted that hundreds of thousands of African American women go through the trials of being a single parent and therefore it is just as important to remains elective about the men they bring into their lives. The person that the African American woman chooses to share her life with is going to have an impact on the child and therefore the selection should be one that has a future to promote both she and the child.
The likelihood is that the African American female will have sustainable employment according to the statistics derived from the latest US Census and this means that she would need a man who has a job or at least skills and education to support her efforts to better both she and her child's lives. Finding a man with less than that is clearly a liability to all parties. She should seek someone who enlightens and can assist with learning and structuring a life plan for the child. This life-plan consists of values, morals, responsibilities, and goals. Also, the African American mother has a responsibility to remain faithful, caring, supportive, and a great, not good mother. The child she rears will be an assessment of her contribution to the world.
By having a talk with her young man before the age of 18 years to explain the differences in her approach to teaching him and the approach of other women who may try to take advantage of him should be stressed. If she does not or forgets to do so, she will be speaking to him about personal matters that he should be discussing with his wife or girlfriend. This is a common occurrence, because the mother will find herself having to coach her son to counter the authoritative nature of his spouse or live interest. Women in the world assess a man sometimes by how much she can openly get away with, and if she sees that he is passive in nature or too kind in many respects, abuse is bound to occur. No mother wants to see this happen to their sons and in order to prevent this, they should take time and examine this possibility. Most mothers may notice this when their sons date in high school by demanding girlfriends.
The goal of any mother is to make their little man the best one she could create for the world to enjoy, his skills, talents, and abilities that promotes growth, prosperity, and positive living.

James has several years of personal experience as a personal match-maker and informal relationship adviser with a successful track-record. In his twenty plus years in the aforementioned fields, he has mastered the realm of social networking by engaging in topics, and subject matter after extensive research. He has recently launched a web blog featuring some of the latest fashions by designers such as Lane Bryant, Just My Size, The Limited, and other name brands at affordable prices.

No Black Models Allowed - The Intimidating Beauty of African-American Women

After reading the latest headlines of fashion designers choosing not to utilize Women of Color in their fashion shows and on their runways, it is a bit paradoxical for me. You see....on the one hand, when the African-American Actresses walk the red carpet in these same designs, I've never once read that a fashion designer had a problem with a Woman of Color at that particular time. And why would they?

These designers are receiving all sorts of free advertising and press coverage. The designers and all whom are representatives of these designers, receive funds from these African-American actresses without even thinking about it. But oh I forget, money is green isn't it? And the color of the person's hand whose purchasing these designer clothing isn't an issue. Now on the other hand, these same designers are using spray tans to make the white models appear darker, they're using lip tricks and plumpers to make their lips larger, and they are using hair extensions for the "textured look." Okay....is it me or are these designers attempting to create an illusion of a Black Woman on their runways? I mean...."What The Hell People!" The bronzed skin, nice full lips, and hair extensions are beautiful character traits and features of Women of Color. When it's time to walk the runway, all sorts of thought is put into the justification of why Black Models aren't being utilized. So the question is: "Can The Fashion Industry Really Continue To Thrive and Survive If African-American Spending Power Came To A Complete Halt? Note to designers: Why not place a tag in your clothing so that African-Americans can steer clear of your particular designs that states the following: "This Collection Is Not Designed For African-Americans. I Do Not Utilize Black Models In My Fashion Shows Because They Are Just Too Darn Beautiful To Look Ridiculous!"

Moving forward...The spending power of African-Americans in this country alone has topped between $631 billion and $688 billion according to Black Enterprise.com. And according to a new study conducted by ReportBuyer.com - the buying power of African-Americans is expected to reach at least $1.1 trillion by the year 2012. So...whose really keeping these fashion designers in business? In any other industry, racist behavior is not tolerated at all. It does happen, but there are repercussions and consequences to such behavior. So why is racism so dominant and accepted in the fashion industry?

There aren't any justifications for this; it has just gone on for so long - people think that it is a prerequisite to becoming a Model. It is a negative, demeaning, and ignorant belief of those who live with fear that something is going to be taken from them. What other reason could there be that allows Black Models to be subjected to blatant rudeness and negativity, all at the mercy of individuals whom possess simple minds. And a simple-minded person clearly isn't qualified to place judgement. "When a Black Model walks the runway she undoubtedly commands attention, she dominates the runway, and she compliments the designs which then brings them to life." Black Women are blessed with natural curvaceousness which is a bit intimidating in some environments. And yes...negative remarks are made about an African-American Woman's attractive figure, but the last time I checked...butt and hip implants from non-black women was at an all time high!

Fashion designers..."When you exclude a race of people from your fashion shows because of your ignorance of what you think and view as beautiful...and indeed you have that right as they are your designs...don't expect Women of Color to purchase your clothing. When you don't employ Women of Color to walk your runways...in a sense...you have just loudly shouted to them as well as to the world...that "Black Women Aren't Beautiful Enough." This type of behavior results in feelings of inadequacy and inferiority among the few Black Models that are in existence; which also spills over into their personal lives resulting in low self-esteem and shattered confidence. No one in this world -including fashion designers- is qualified to cast judgment.

The fashion industry wants to make this particular statement true: "If She's White Put Her In The Spotlight...If She's Black Put Her In The Back." Black Women purchase the high-fashion magazines whose editors have been reported as saying "Black Faces On The Cover of Magazines Just Doesn't Sell!" Black Women attend the fashion shows and also wear the designer's clothing where Black Models are non-existent on the runway. Black Women all over the world easily carries the latest Louis Vuitton Bags, the latest Prada Bags, the latest Gucci Bags; and can buy whatever they desire. After reading a particular internet news report, Prada did not employ at least one Black Model in its show this year. Black Women spends thousands of dollars on the same designers clothing whom never utilize Black Models. Now we know! Action must be taken to exclude the Black Dollars from ending up in the fashion designers pockets who do not utilize Black Models on their runways. Action must also be taken to put a halt to the spending power of Black Women who purchase the fashion magazines where editors claim Black Faces doesn't sell. I buy all of the high fashion magazines each month depending on whose on the cover - didn't matter whether it was a black model or a white model. I am a cultural fan of all races as my family is diverse, mixed raced, and very colorful people; however, since this new information has surfaced my purchasing of said magazines are no more. I refuse to spend money on magazines without any Black Models on the covers, photographers who don't shoot Black Models, and to see the advertisements of the fashion designer's clothing whom did not employ Black Models on their runways. This isn't a racist decision, but rather one of common sense. If the magazines exclude Women of Color (of which I am) on their covers, as well as informative write-ups and articles relating to Women of Color; who would I identify with?

The truth is this: "Black Women are very exotic, sensual, beautiful and sexy; which results in feelings of intimidation from those who are responsible for a Black Model's success in the industry. The fashion industry thrives on purposely smashing Black Models self-esteem and confidence as a way of feeling powerful, which is really a feeling of ignorant false self-confidence. Note to Fashion Designers: "Stop and think for a second. While you are so busy keeping your runways white, be clear about your objectives and preferences; and stop spray tanning your non-black models brown, adding texture to their hair with hair extensions, and plumping up their lips. All this non-sense can be avoided if you utilize those who are already gorgeous and brown!"

Dr. Monica Burns-Capers, Ph.D Is An Expert Author, Freelance Writer, Consultant, College Professor of Organizational Management, and President-CEO of Monica Mi'Chelle Communications: A Professional Writing and Self-Development Firm.

Greasy Foods - The Holy Grail Of African American Diet

I do not know about you, but when I was growing up, my mom cooked fried chicken (no, not oven "fried" chicken, we are talking about southern deep fried chicken), macaroni and cheese topped with tons of butter and mounds of cheese, collard greens cooked in chicken fat, hot buttered biscuits and brown gravy for dinner - at least twice a week.

Yes, I know you are salivating right about now. Here is another past time favorite to which I am sure you can relate - deep fried catfish, red beans and rice soaked in oil, candied yams with tons of butter, sugar, and cinnamon and deep fried pork chops.

I can relate. I grew up in a family of 9 where food portions were humongous. I mean we are talking about a 9-year-old whose plate was filled to the edges that was even too much for an adult! Years later, with the same poor dietary habits intact, I ballooned up to 213 pounds!

My Food History Repeated Itself

So there I was 20 years later weighing 185 pounds. I thought I could control it. The smallest I had ever been was 140 pounds. But my weight went up and down my whole life. Finally, I crossed the line where I could not stop eating. I was addicted to fried foods, white flour and sugar, but I did not know that until 3 more years of food agony and an additional weight gain of 18 pounds.

My Health Deteriorated

I come from a long line of strokes, heart attacks, diabetes and high blood pressure. At age 29, severely overweight and a heavy smoker, I was headed down the same path as my ancestors.

My Aha Moment

There was a voice inside me that said, "Shalisha, you are lost when it comes to food. Get help." I did. I was introduced to a food plan that was abundant, healthy, delicious, and made me lose 90 pounds in 6 months. This was no diet. It was a lifestyle change. So here are the top 5 reasons I think the African American diet is in dire need of an overhaul:

1.The African American diet is extremely high in fat
2.The African American diet is extremely high in sugar
3.The African American diet lacks fruit
4.The African American diet lacks vegetables
5.The African American diet is extremely high in sodium

If you want to start eating healthy and lose weight:

1.Stop deep frying and start broiling
2.Cut out sugar and white flour
3.Include at least 5 servings of vegetables daily
4.Include at least 3 servings of fruit daily
5.Drink plenty of water (8-12 cups)
6.Take the salt shaker off the table

One more thing - dare to be different! Demand that your neighborhood Key Food supermarket carry Fage Fat-Free Greek Yogurt. Demand that your friendly neighborhood Met Food supermarket carry organic fruits and vegetables.

All it takes is one person to lead the way. Be a power of example and show other African Americans in the community that it is not only okay to eat healthy - it is a matter of life and death. By making those 6 small dietary adjustments, you will go a long way to improving your health and losing weight.


Shalisha Alston is an African American weight loss consultant. She lost 90 pounds in 6 months and you can do the same.

7 Myths About African American Hair

1.) You Must Touch Up Your Relaxer Every Six Weeks

In my own journey to grow long healthy hair, I've found this to not be true. In fact frequent touch ups for my fine strands produced dryness, thinness, excessive shedding, and breakage.

2.) Only Wash Once a Month To Avoid Dryness

Ok, this is definitely false! Water provides moisture to your locks!!! Washing your strands less frequently can actually cause dryness. Ethnic strands (because of the curl pattern) need moisture to promote growth. If you are experiencing dryness with frequent washes try adding jojoba oil as a pre-shampoo treatment, increase your water intake, and incorporate flaxseed oil into your diet.

3.) Ends Must be Cut Every Six Weeks for More Growth

This is not true!!! Your ends are dead, so cutting them every six weeks will not produced growth. It will provide a crisp look, but definitely not more growth. In fact, frequent trims is really snipping away at the growth you've already achieved. Actually growth comes from healthy eating and proper care. Try lightly dusting your ends or trimming only the split ends.

4.) Can't Use Products that are not for African Americans

For the past two years, I've used Aveda products! They are not specifically marketed for black hair, but Aveda completely changed the health of my fine strands. I love Aveda! I haven't used products geared toward black women in about two years. What's most important is finding products that are better suited, compliments, and meet your needs.

5.) No-Lye Relaxers are Safer than Lye Relaxers

Most no-lye relaxers do not contain sodium hydroxide and lye relaxers do. Although I use no-lye relaxers, it is because I have a sensitive scalp and I've found that they do not tingle as quickly. Both lye and no-lye contain chemicals that break down your strands, producing straightness. I will mention though that no-lye tends to cause more dryness due to the calcium build up. A way to avoid this is using a chelating shampoo maybe a week or two after a touch-up to get rid of it.

6.) Scalps Must Be Greased Frequently for Growth

Not true, grease (because of petroleum and mineral oil) can clog your pores and actually does not allow the scalp to breath. If you are experiencing scalp dryness try applying jojoba oil or sweet almond oil to your scalp.

7.) Can't Grow Long Hair

Again false, on average anyone experiences about 6 inches of growth per year (some a little more and some a little less).

I am an African American woman who started a website http://thinhaircangrow.com for the purpose of teaching women about healthy hair care practices for thin and fine hair. I have learned so much on my healthy hair journey and want to share it with as many women as possible.

Written by Antonina Geer