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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


Liberation - What Does It Take to Truly Be Free from Mental, Physical Op...


Ousted - When Dedicated African Americans to the Establishment Get Talked or Kicked Out

Omarosa.  Those of you who have been following the media know that Trump's dedicated follower who no one claims to know what exactly was her purpose is gone out the White House.  The former director of communications had that look on her face while walking out like, "I messed up for the last time."  Look, if you know anything about a prideful sistah's body language that has been brought down low, she exemplified it.  Her head wasn't held up high like it was in the past on the television show, The Apprentice and her smile wasn't that bright as she looked at cameras.  Now what really happened to her?  I'm sure her story will be cleverly manufactured to initiate support from the black community.  My observation brings me to this point, when you are one of the few in the establishment, in the beast system to be somewhat specific, it won't be long before they look to find fault with your work performance or they simply sit and watch you hang yourself.  If one is of higher intelligence, the organization/system, hidden in plain sight, will systematically put great burdens on you knowing that you can't keep up with their demands and therefore, watch you fail.

Ousted, it happened to the best of us without notice.  Some of you remember.  One day you were on top of the world thinking you were untouchable and "in" with those non-blacks or your own people.  You thought all were down with you, and then BAM!  Just like that, you were no longer a favorite and replaceable.  What happened to the love?  They told you how good you were, smart, and "going somewhere just keep doing what you are doing."  Yet, you later hear or read, "We regret to inform you that we are no longer in need of your service."  With family, it sounds like, "Don't come back over here.  Don't call or write.  You aren't welcome.  You don't have time for us, we don't have time for you!"  Say what? 

Say goodbye to the establishment and all they gave you.  "What about the house I just bought," you think.  "My dream ride, my kid's future, the things I promised to buy Pookie and 'em!  DAMN!"  Yes, damn is right.  You were damned from the start.  No God, no personal faith, no angels at work, none of that.  You chose your own path.  You wanted what you wanted when you wanted.  No sense in being mad at God.  He wasn't in the plan.  Besides, the establishment stripped you of your belief system.  You went along with whatever, to fit in.  "God...what god?"  You trusted in flawed men and women.

Scorned black folk wayward in the faith or no faith at all just don't learn from defeat.  They dust themselves off and go back at it again carrying their same old funky a$$ attitude.  Back to searching for a job or "opportunity" again, maybe a bit humble for a season until one smells power, fame, and fortune all over again and believes the hype that non-blacks put upon them.  They get in with people that look like them or any non-black group that can "help" while wishing upon a star for the favor again, "Awww life just got good again."  One is back on top, at least so he or she thinks until the establishment grows weary of one's Uncle Tom act.

Our predecessors warned us of losing our vision, forsaking wisdom, and thinking one to be his or her own god.  Reminded us never get too comfortable or prideful.  They told us to watch as well as pray.  They said, "You are never too old to get your a$$ whipped."  Yep, men and women of the establishment whipping behinds in more ways than one.  Show out on the field, and the black athlete will be made an example of in front of the rest of the slaves.  Act like a fool on the court and they will break that pompous jerk.  Talk too much and your own people can show you better than they can tell you.  Some prideful folks would say, "You giving the establishment too much credit."  No, I'm only stating what has been proven time and time again.  Black organizations and countless entertainers are still in a supportive role not in a leadership one.  From the individuals and groups you know about to the ones you don't, dedicated African Americans who are very loyal to their masters also have finances that are equally as loyal.  Therefore, they remain powerless.  When the master or establishment turns on them, they walk away with just enough.  Their finances were and still are wrapped up in everything that doesn't do anything more than temporarily assist Uncle Tom and Aunt Tammy and possibly their kin.  But sincere groups that empower like grassroots organizations, civic groups, black-owned companies on the rise, etc.--no way!  They know we would do the kind of things that would put us in direct competition with their old bosses, expose them and due to fear and other factors they have, the self-hating loyalists despite all that has happened to them, will protect their masters, don't be deceived by them when they come to your meetings, homes, churches and elsewhere confessing and repenting. 

You see, some of our people hold on to the notion, "You never know what might master do for me...I mean I know he's mad and besides, I don't want to burn a bridge.  Some secrets I will have to go to my grave with."  But what if what you know will save thousands even millions?  What if you are given the power to make a difference in many lives?  "Nope, I can't say...I can't do." Uncle Tom and Aunt Tammy say.

A smart woman like Omarosa has a lot of head knowledge, so much in fact that she could be a valuable asset to the African American community, but as we all know anything she does going forward will be limited and if she strays out of those boundaries that will be her definite end. 

We need people in the community that not only have power but a spine willing to go all out and die for the cause or many causes.  Folks who aren't easily misled, mind-controlled, hooked on substances, and void of the Holy Spirit to help us, help others.

Nicholl McGuire


The Friendly Manager and His Harem

Workplace Problems, Solutions, Raves & Rants -- Need a Career Change?: The Friendly Manager and His Harem: He compliments his staff on their looks in a way that is unprofessional.  The manager and family man enjoys flirting.  He rubs the backs of ...


Our Ancestors - The Way We Look, We Talk, We Behave

Confused about one's identity, frequently mistaken for being a certain ethnicity, personal questions about one's heritage, it happens to those of us sensitive to who we think we are and what we hope to accomplish before eyes permanently close.  Oftentimes we don't think too deeply about us.  We go through our days doing what is expected of us and find ways to escape anyone or anything that makes us feel uncomfortable.  Yet, there is something more to our mere existence, there is an extinction of who we are and it can be seen in the faces that look back at us in the mirror. 

We have a history, a rich deep history mixed up with the identifying character traits of many who have come long before we got here.  Some of you recognize the significance of performing family history research and others not so much.  The lightbulb hasn't gone off yet for some because they don't find learning anything from the past meaningful due to negative past programming, personal challenges or simply a disinterest.  But for those who do, you will uncover the truth that might have been hidden for years about family struggles, highs, and lows.  You will feel a sense of peace as to who you really are not what others assume you to be.  You will feel empowered and confident in your identity either immediately or in time (once the shock wears off).  There is so much goodness to be discovered when you have a story to tell, a thought-provoking, life-changing story that helps others (even if it isn't your story, but one of a loved one).  Young people respect those who are transparent and willing to talk about the good, bad and ugly about themselves and family.

As I continue this journey of learning more about family history, I am not running away from the truth, but embracing it.  I have more depth in my conversations with others.  I feel at peace about many things.  There is no longer taking what others say and accepting their assumptions, I know my truth and some great information as to how my family got their start in America and it wasn't just slavery, end of story either.  Not everyone came as slaves and not everyone had been mistreated by some white, angry slave master. 

As we grow and learn more about family genealogy especially around holiday seasons, let us be like the student eager to learn rather than an argumentative defense attorney looking to get a lying or ignorant favorite relative off the hook.

Many nationalities make up who you are and the answers are right there if you are willing to seek them.  Check out my book Genealogy X: What to Expect When Researching Family History by Nicholl McGuire.

Life Lessons Left Behind - Deceased Relatives Had a Story, Learn from It


Prepare Your Children, Grandchildren for Your Passing

Real Quiet in the Black Entertainment Industry on Sexual Harassment?

I guess black actors and actresses, musicians, athletes and others can't band together to bring down some of the most powerful and feared in the black entertainment industry, huh?  I can almost feel the story scrambling, paperwork shredding, photo safekeeping, threats and whatever else that goes on to keep certain voices hushed.  "What will the public think?  What if the victims start being heard--taken seriously?" Someone or many are sweating during this season of trial. "You know what happened to Cosby, I don't want to be next."  So the body count rises whether victims are destroyed mentally, physically or both.

You know our people, the ones who do dirt but never want anything exposed.  A simple "sorry" and money thrown at a situation or many should take care of it, right?  Cursing, threats of violence, or making examples out of folks will back the cowardly in a corner.  "Where is one's God now?" says the bully.

The young women and men victimized along with elders who have far too many stories of all kinds of harassment don't say enough to get anything done because elitists have them backed into a corner.  They know what the stakes are, and besides their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren who want to follow the victims' footsteps will be blackballed. 

The stigma that comes with being called a "snitch" is too deeply ingrained with many in the African American community especially the Old Skool.  They don't believe in breaking any oaths, covenants, or swears on Mama's grave.  Nope, mouths remain shut.  Same sex harassment, heterosexual harassment, and more is prevalent in the entertainment industry--that's a fact.  People who "almost made it" told their stories on and offline.  People who were once "One Hit Wonders" shared some shameful experiences.  And those who are aspiring to be the "the next..." have their concerns, but there is no banding together.  No exposing names in a way that makes abusers pay for what they have done in more ways than one.  Worry and fear keep fed mouths shut because somewhere there is a story that if you say something you know what happened to this star and that one.  However, the good news, and some people need to know the good that the child of God who shares, cares, and takes someone up on their dare, is called to come forth.  Yes, we know what happened to disciples of Christ who stood firm in their beliefs, and yes we recognize the struggle that comes with exposing.  Yet, we also know that beyond this life is an eternal one too--thank you Jesus!  Many are called and few are chosen by an Almighty God.  There are those who don't want you to know Him, because to know Him means that you become spiritually more powerful than they will ever be--Satan was defeated at the cross, remember!  But if you don't believe...well, you just sit in the background and wish upon a "Star" that things will change.

The powerful voices with a story to tell are much stronger in great number and bigger than any business mogul's bank account.  There is a move of the Spirit and the sooner one answers the call, the better.  Tyrants will be overthrown sooner rather than later--you got the greenlight.

Wake up world.

Nicholl McGuire


Flashback Friday - Gerald & Eddie Levert Baby Hold On To Me

Business and all the Meaningless Media Distractions, Must-Have Products & Entertainment Mayhem

Your dollar is important.  They look to take it to finance their government, communities, wars, education, businesses, and more.  Don't say you want to start a business, because if you do, they will look for ways to keep you out of the mainstream media.  Don't say that you will no longer buy their products, because they will figure out a way to get those around you to show their support and forget about you.  And most of all, don't start speaking the kind of truth that exposes their favorites, breaks their bank accounts or holds them accountable, because suddenly you are deemed the trouble-maker, untrustworthy, or whatever picture they choose to paint you to be.  Your enemy or enemies come in different shades nowadays and come from a wide variety of backgrounds.  What is common about all foes is they are not children of light.  Where there is light, there is truth, fairness, love, kindness, patience, prosperity, etc.  Do you really think a wicked being wants all that for you and I?

The picture that the greedy, ungodly and prideful paint in media is one that appeals to your five senses because they believe you to be mentally weak, spiritually spent, financially dependent, and physically tired.  So what better way then to get you to compromise--go along with whatever programming they conjure up, get you to like, comment, subscribe, buy whatever they create, mentally, spiritually and physically bind you with whatever you love the most--food, sex, new relationship, opportunity, places, and so on.  Meanwhile, you don't think twice about uplifting those around you or within your family in business who could be competition for them.  Take for instance, the independent filmmaker who is seeking to take Hollywood by storm with movies that make a difference, why would you bother to get to know his or her work when your mind is being overwhelmed by what the rich who are already rich is marketing?  What about the aspiring entrepreneur who simply asks you to buy this product or that one and you scoff at the price and head on down to the local Walmart?

Once again another holiday season is fast approaching and you have already been programmed since July to start holiday shopping.  In October, you were already told subtly to start using layaway.  And when you don't listen to the advertisers, your media programming via music, movies, books, children's shows, products, and more tells you not only what is trendy, but how might you obtain it.  Can we say credit?  Celebrity XYZ has this card and that one, and why not you?  Celebrity ABC is wearing...and her daughter or son is dressed up in...and you buy it.  But if it isn't you, no worries, they have your show-boating family members who try to keep up with the Jones'.

Now if shopping isn't your thing, no big deal, right?  So they prep your mind to be the one who volunteers time and service or accept a miserly pay for far too much work.  And if you are the lazy type, don't like to work real hard on too much of anything, they provide you with ways to amuse yourself while throwing a few pennies your way via online games, surveys, searches, watching video, and more.  As for those who aren't afraid of hard work, Uncle Sam is always in search of you and your children.  Programmed from the time you and they were born to go after a government job from being an office assistant to a military officer.  What movie might get you and your offspring excited about your future?  For instance, when they want you to attend college or join the military, they make sure there is a movie that you will enjoy--might even quote a catchy line or two from, a celebrity endorsement, and of course, what better way to strike the nail in the coffin is to give you some kind of benefit for spreading the word.  Same is done when using tools like books, mega ministers, strategically placed bulletin boards in your communities, and more to persuade you into buying whatever they want you to purchase.

What should be the focus other than being the buyer, the volunteer or the low paid worker in your own lifetime movie?  Your spiritual calling, condition, concern, commitment, and anything else that goes beyond consumerism and pleasuring one's self.  Why must one's loyalty be placed on the people, places, and things that sincerely add no benefit to our lives?  Upon closer inspection you will find that you have been successfully programmed to believe that everything that is unrighteous, untrue, unhealthy, and unbeneficial is right for you while everything that is righteous, true, healthy, and beneficial is not good.  The brainwashing spreads and before long an unsuspecting generation believes the foolishness that mothers and fathers believed and their kinfolk and so on.

In recent years, we have witnessed the demise of much.  Once respectable celebrity role models were brought down low.  R&B music along with vocalists took a strategic backseat.  Spiritual attacks on all people and things related to God were in full force and continue to happen.  Patriotism is a thing of the past being picked away at for any and every reason.  In addition, seemingly quiet communities continue to be turned upside down with gun violence, abuse and drugs.  While people walk around like zombies so grateful for the next designer drug or alcohol to touch their lips while water and food supply in undesirable towns, boroughs, districts, and other places is continuing to be polluted.

Mother nature is disrupted by manufactured events while select companies get rich off the mayhem.  Media hype influences your mind to believe its all natural, but the discerning know better. Elitist groups use ignorant people to tell you your vote counts while they keep track of you and your wallet for every time you show up at a voting booth near you. The scripted news keeps telling you only what they think you want to hear while you miss the real news that real people need for you to pay attention to.

What you need now is what is in the best interest of you and your family, forget about the rest.  Trust in your Creator these days, because unfortunately things are headed for the worse.  Mentally ill-equipped men and women think their grandiose ideas, charm, and big bank accounts might save them in the next season, but they are sadly mistaken. Watch their downfall.  As for business, another 7.0, 8.0...1, 2, 3,...flawed invention will be out next year with all the accessories and technicians to enhance or fix it while the stock market takes another dive.  Safeguard your assets and don't believe any hype that targets minorities.

Distinguish the truth from the lie by being proactive, engaged, and alert.

Nicholl McGuire is the host of YouTube NM Enterprise 7 a faith based channel.


The Christian and Halloween: Does the two even belong in the same sentence?

Alternative celebration for the Christian--no substitutes...

New International Version
"Celebrate the Festival of Harvest with the firstfruits of the crops you sow in your field. "Celebrate the Festival of Ingathering at the end of the year, when you gather in your crops from the field.
Exodus 23:16


Reaction to Things that Are Not Your Reality - Be Careful of Hater Programming from Elders

They are checking out year after year, our elders, seniors who have done much in their short life span from work to parenting.  Yet, they are leaving behind not peace, love, gentleness, kindness and other character attributes of light, but rather hate, mean-spiritedness, divisiveness, jealousy and even plans for future violence or civil unrest.

Consider this, believe in an angry, misguided, or an ignorant someone long enough and in time you are living a miserable existence.  Your dreams take a back seat to what your elders want for you.  Your relationship with someone special or marriage gradually comes to an end. Your economic status begins to plummet.  Your lifestyle changes to suit that person.  Your children are caught up in lies, exaggerations and confusion aided by what you choose to share with them from your revolutionist Cousin, player Uncle, hustler Mama, or pimp Daddy.
Children of darkness who know that their destiny is hell after physical death could care less about common sense, wisdom, and functional advisors.  Some won't consider or even believe that a God exists since they believe themselves to be their own gods.  The wayward in the faith falsely assume they will simply die with no judgment and no face-to-face encounter with their Creator after death.  These people are sadly mistaken!  You reap what you have sown in this life and afterward.  (Check the Holy Bible that your sin-filled elders either abused or ran away from for more explanation on heaven, hell and judgment).

Now this reacting to things that offend us or rather offend others is not always representative of our reality.  Sure, we might get angry over how others were or are treated, but take a pause before you lose your cool, "Is this really my fight?"  I mean we have a lot to be disappointed, upset or even confused about already just in our own daily living, so why take on more drama especially from others who lived a terrible past?

Years ago a relative shared how he was mistreated by white people.  He went into detail about the insults he had heard and explained why he would never support interracial marriage, trust white-dominated government, and how he would never consider any of them a friend.  He talked of putting on an act in the workplace and how he couldn't wait to retire.  His anger rubbed off on some of us and before long we were behaving like we had been mistreated by whites and other non-blacks.  We hadn't went through any "Colored Only" doors or sat in the back seat of a bus by force.  We had not experienced being chased by white people bragging about their KKK affiliation.  We had not encountered any mistreatment from the police.  So how was another's hate considered wise counsel?  The relative refused to support any of us mentally, financially, spiritually, etc. when our thinking began to differ from his.  We were walking in love, he chose to remain in his hate.  If anything, the relative became increasingly distant when we talked positively and exposed his misconceptions and bias.  He continued to talk negatively about us for making all kinds of decisions that had little to do with keeping up his hate he claimed was just enlightening us.

You see, you might be that one who has gone through much with so many people who don't look or think like you do, but your experiences are not mine and how you might view your life challenges most likely will be different from what I may reason from them.  Yet, an oppressive herd mentality keeps some of our people angry and ready to fight over foolish name-calling, threats, and systems that aren't always what we think they are especially when we are the ones keeping the word play and disempowerment going by hating on anyone or anything.  However, our mistreated predecessors and those currently scorned will tell us to think ignorantly like them and say this and not to do that--you can fill in what they told you lately about "those white people...and why they don't do this or that..."

The elders systematic unhealthy brainwashing does nothing more than keep us divided and in the long term destroys what little peace, love, and increase we have!  If you choose to permit a broken man or woman to continue to speak evil in your ears, treat you like he or she has been mistreated, and persuade you into supporting an organization or belief system based on their unresolved issues, you will become just as sick, if not more like that elderly relative failing in health.  The best thing you can do for yourself and members of your own family is to stand firm in a healthy belief system that progresses your family forward and establish boundaries for those who like to spread ignorant group think.  This ignorant group think has spread over decades in music, film, print, and more only producing carbon copies of people who are stagnant in wisdom, knowledge and understanding.  They are buffoons--silly, and foolish in their ways and so too are their children.  Yet, they wonder why they are generationally cursed by a mighty God.

While we talk about what non-blacks have done to oppress us, some of our people need to expose those in their own families and communities who continue to support destructive pride, prejudice and foolishness!

May the elder haters one day rest in peace.

Nicholl McGuire


Countless Racist Words, Statements - Live Chat, Streaming on Hurricane Videos

They are trolling sites, auto bots possibly at work too, racists with lots of negative comments about minorities during a tough time for all.  What's the purpose?  What's the name-calling supposed to do?  Fall for the rants of those who have nothing better to do than bad mouth black people and you will end up frustrated and paranoid.

For a long time the systematic plan to divide people has been taking place in every area of our lives from where we go online to what we do offline.  Someone or a group is formulating his or her ignorant opinions, observations, and more just to create tension, oppress others and protect what little he or she has from money to power.

Why should we care about what others type on the Internet or elsewhere?  We shouldn't.  Just like our predecessors didn't care what people thought about them walking through the front doors, sitting in the front seats, or being the first at whatever they set their minds to do, we shouldn't either.

Poor, broke, busted, and disgusted non-blacks will say just about anything during challenging times, because they aren't used to being on the bottom, but due to poor IQs, education, housing, and more, they are suffering, and when people are in pain, they strike out no matter how ignorant they look or sound.  May God deal with our enemies.

There is a lot going on during these hurricanes, but beyond them, there is land, opportunity and a lot of able-bodied workers and what do you think the government might do ya'll?  Put the once rich and the poor to work while robbing them blind.  The only color that those in power see is green!

Stay tuned.



Still Feeling Comfortable? When Obama was in Office...What was that again about things changing?

Black folks were feeling quite comfortable when Obama was in office and didn't mind boldly bragging about how things regarding racism was slowly changing.  It felt good didn't it, when pride and prejudice appeared to take a backseat?  All those mouths that were quiet back then along with those who were very careful about what they said about the black president and black people in general, but now?  A white man sits in office and the pent up frustrations, resentments, and anger is now out, no longer repressed, on the street yelling about Jews and others.  It was only a matter of time that the Jew-loving Trump would be brought down low by the same people who voted him in.  Trump's staff during the political campaigning strategically kept the Jew connection quiet for as long as they could, but slowly but surely things were going to unravel.  A racist rarely changes no matter who or what is around them (evangelicals, interracial marriages, money, fame, etc.) they will always find some kind of fault with anyone who doesn't look, talk or act like them.

So you have been reminded by the media hype that things are going back to a time where the good and the bad fight it out in the street.  The righteous and unrighteous war about faith.  The black and the white debate about racism.  The rich and the poor manipulate one another.  If you look back at history, you will see similar protests.  Much of what we see in media these days are orchestrated events to help one side or the other ultimately bring down this current President.  Yet, he is doing quite well to oust himself with all his out of pocket comments, rants and the like--maybe that is what the plan is to do everything under the sun to get himself fired in the end by breaking every rule imaginable.  Yet, some are trying hard to keep him in office to further their agendas while he focuses on his own as well as his family's well-being before he gets out, because simply put, he angered a lot of people.  He has numerous enemies who would love to see him gone.  As for now, he is protected, but how long that remains is undetermined.

The more our society goes forward, the more toxic groups would like for things to go backward.  Many people thought that Obama was going to do the kind of things that would make a significant impact on minorities and help us all in so many different ways from economically to even spiritually and the end result?  Nothing much, a man can only do but so much when he has handlers that direct his every move.  These days this president's script is set to empower the white men who couldn't stomach another day of seeing a minority, woman, Jew, or anyone else progress while they continue to struggle. 

If you don't feel comfortable these days with what is ongoing locally, nationally and internationally then good.  If you don't feel like things are promising, then good.  If you feel fearful every time a police officer looks you over, then good.  Why good?  Because feelings of discomfort, hopelessness and fear are great motivators to do some things differently in your life as well as others.  No matter where you are or what you do, you have a say on something that is going on at your workplace, community and home that is not beneficial.  You can provide solutions to get some things underway.  You can join alliances with fellow believers both on and offline to achieve the kind of goals for the common good.  You can hold leaders accountable to the promises they have made with social media, letter writing, protests, and more.

This shake up lately that we see in the media with the current administration is just the beginning of a long war of extreme discomfort ahead all across our land.  Mentally ill, strange, selfish and evil leaders don't like to be bored.  They don't like days where nothing is going on, they don't know how to "chill."  They glorify themselves much.  They have to keep something going because their minds are never at peace.  They ignore any advice, wisdom or rebuke that makes them look unfavorable. 

Sick people want to see yesteryear's history of oppression, mental enslavement, rape, abuse, and more all over again and with their money and influence, they can create any experience that they want all over again or bring what is in darkness in full view for their personal entertainment.  Bored, demonic people will kill, steal and destroy.  Yet, when an Almighty God uses people who initially want to do right, but later do wrong or something that goes against his will, they are discarded sooner or later.  Throw the rebel overboard like what happened to Jonah in the Bible and maybe just maybe peace will be restored.  Rebellious men and women run away from the leader of all leaders, Father God, and now watch what happens.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and What Else Can I Do on the Internet?


Stirring Up the Pot - African Americans Strategically Picked to Cause Division

They are in the media, at your church, possibly in your home who strategically cause problems by saying and doing the kind of things that look a lot like David Chappelle's character on the Chappelle Show, a blind black man who had thought he was white while he screamed about killing n*ggers.  These calculating individuals in media, entertainment, government and elsewhere are paid well, promised a few "Happy meal toys" like Kanye West admitted to...selling their souls to the devil to keep up a melting pot of confusion politically, spiritually, economically, mentally, etc.

Racist white people know there is strength in numbers.  They aren't blind to the strides that minorities have made since enslavement (they are reminded every February while they are aided by some groups to keep up the slavery programming).  Many blog entries ago I told you that the media programming was designed to take us back to a time where our predecessors had no hope, no desire to do anything to come up higher, to upset us, get us out there protesting, attacking one another, and then eventually we end up where?  Divorce court, criminal court, hospitals, doctor's office, funeral homes, unemployed, homeless, etc.  During this time of uprising, the old way of doing things is in full force--ethnic cleansing, systematic brainwashing, and other tactics have increased to keep our people killing, stealing and destroying (agents for Satan):
  • Self-hate campaigns and other foolishness promoted heavily on websites while positivity takes a back seat. 
  • Demeaning movies, music, books and other media were rewarded and continue to be. 
  • Police brutality ongoing while the victims are ignored. 
  • Created conflict by design in neighborhoods to deflect from major issues. 
  • Designer drugs brought to the hood to cause insanity or worse death.
  • Crooked politicians continuing to make false promises. 
  • Closed down schools. 
  • Food stamps and other aid cut. 
  • Self-defeating messages in churches implemented to keep the sheep dependent on the wolves. 
  • Health care adjustments that keep making the rich, richer and you sick, sicker. 
  • Robbery of natural resources on foreign soil.
  • Fraternal groups and other civic organizations stripped of any power to encourage unity especially that of light, truth, righteousness and belief in the one true God and his Son Jesus, rather satanic gods (both human and not) are celebrated and worshipped.
  • An appetite that is never fulfilled always in search for the next best thing that causes you to work far too much for it and if you are working all the time you are too tired, moody and miserable to do much else like exercise.
  • KKK programming and the like.
African American celebrities continue to be prime targets/puppets to lull the people to sleep.  They are brainwashed into thinking they are doing a service.  However, most of them are turned into nothing more than high profile pimps, prostitutes, hustlers, and players.  They don't see the truth, but those of us in the know, see it.  It doesn't matter how known they are and what money they threw into a community to cover their sins, a pimp will always be a pimp without a moral compass, a hoe will always be a hoe even with kids until she gets right in the mind, body and spirit.  People have to have a genuine willingness to do what's right and a relationship with the Creator, feel me?

I don't know about you, but I see way too many people being uncaring, ignorant, and confused about so many things.  They let media blow them around like tumbleweeds in the wind.  Where do you seek truth?  Who are you listening to?  Consider your sources, there are still modern day Judas'.  They make deals with enemies who smile in their face then later stab them and their people in the backs.  They appear on TV screens sometimes humble, hands folded, shoulders sunk in, and heads bowed.  They are sitting on couches on TV talk shows appearing to be strong, intelligent, and unique but what is coming up out of their mouths is irrelevant, irrational, and downright stupid.  They are standing before masses and wasting good opportunities to speak truth for fear that they will be whisked off to rehab to get corrected/punished.  They are encouraged by handlers to obtain so much and then later their families and toys are used against them to keep them performing for those who govern them.  They lie, cover up, act secretive, and do other things to keep the public in the dark about what is really going on.  Meanwhile, they are promised asylum if anything should ever happen like a false flag attack on our land for starters.  They are given the first, the best, and the most unique of everything as long as their eyes and mouths are closed. Sacrifices in every way imaginable are performed and yet you believe they will help.  They can't even help themselves.  Instead, high profile people are used to divide, distract, test, conquer, kill, and create more seeds that do the same.  They are also used at times to interact with the public to siphon information while saying things like, "I'm like  you...I'm one of you...We are all the same." That's definitely untrue.  In time, you or others buy into their lines and before long you are being used to do the very same things whether covertly or overtly.

So when the writing is on the wall or in this case, blog, don't just read it, learn from it, and safeguard yourself and others from the wiles of the devil.

Nicholl McGuire    


Controlling Mothers Dictate Past, Present & Future - Make a Change, Be Different

"An adult son or daughter has had to deal with the sting of Mama’s words, hands or both. He or she might not have anticipated what was coming and did not feel like that sweet, polite, shady lady could be so bold, devious, and rude. But you know her or have crossed this woman’s destructive path, and to those who lost their moms due to death, you knew her when. You saw how she operated at times. For some of you, because you saw through her act or witnessed her many faces with different people, she did not always like you, because you knew too much! If you commented about the truth, she told you to “Shut up! You don’t know what you are talking about. That isn’t what I said or did. You don’t know anything! Go play!” Keep testing her and she was going to verbally and/or physically beat the messenger down.
So it isn’t any wonder you have many issues with your self-righteous, vulgar, mentally unstable, or controlling mother, grandmother, step-mother, mother-in-law, or guardian. Even if this individual is gone out of your life it will be as if she is still there, because for many sons and daughters they can’t shake their mothers’ voices out of their heads, the memories, and the hurts of yesteryear. You see her in the mirror looking back at you. You hear her voice through others sometimes. You might even think that God dropped the ball, what was he thinking by choosing that woman to be your mother?
Don’t deny your present or past stinking thinking concerning any woman you deem like a mom to you and others. It’s okay to be honest with yourself and your Creator. Mom didn’t always get it right and you are not wrong because of her issues either! Let me repeat that like this, you are not a failure, evil, weak, ugly, or crazy because she had her share of emotional, spiritual or physical challenges!
Some of you readers are mad as hell at a woman or two in your lives and have grown weary of Mother! For others, who have prayed and put your issues about your relatives in God’s hands, you might not be as angry with them like you once were, but you keep taking what you put in the Master’s hands back out again. Then there are those sons and daughters that will nicely say, “Sure, I’m disappointed with some things about my mother or guardian, but it’s all good, right?” Maybe, but that is only if the person’s dysfunctional ways aren’t being passed down to your children and grandchildren through the way you speak and what you do. If one was to interview your loved ones, what might they say about you? Are you just like your mother and are you proud of behaving like her? Are you sincerely over the pain, envy, bitterness, and other negative emotions that your own mother put upon you in the womb, after your birth, and years after?"

This book excerpt is taken from Tell Me Mother You're Sorry written by this blog owner, Nicholl McGuire, available now at Barnes & Noble.   Also as an ebook download on other websites.


Midlife Mean - African American Men with Low T

Their women don’t understand. Their friends joke. The African American men who silently suffer with erectile dysfunction along with hormonal changes either don’t know what is happening or refuse to admit that there is something wrong.

Past relationships end without notice. Bodily pain shows up where there wasn’t any problems before. Hair thins, muscles lose mass and belly fat increases. A man looks in the mirror one day and no longer likes what he sees. No matter how hard he tries he doesn’t feel or look good. His memory at times doesn’t function at the rate it once did and sometimes he has moments where he feels like he is out of control. He is more sensitive about issues whereas before he could care less.

What do African American men do who experience so much mental and physical change? Well for some they project their issues onto others. They find fault with loved ones. They lash out on people without thinking about the consequences and just think it all is tied to what I describe “Midlife Mean.” African American men who are angry but not due to what many think like societal challenges. Sure there is cause to be frustrated about many things, but there are other factors that have little to do with a brother being locked up or gunned down again. A man is getting older and he doesn’t like what is happening to him is secretly more important to a number of men more than what we think.

Consider those men that suddenly make huge life changes with the excuse that they just want something different. Yet, upon closer inspection of their so-called self improvement efforts it looks more like self destruction. These males go off and do the unthinkable. For some their undiagnosed health problems turn into challenges for others and no one bothers to think that many of these men 40 plus are going through some personal woes. Women are more likely to talk about things like premenstrual syndrome, perimenopause and menopause with doctors, relatives and friends, but men in general will avoid most topics related to their body. They don’t want to snitch on themselves. So the male who is experiencing midlife mean related symptoms flies under the radar and presents to others only what he feels is necessary to cover or mask what is really going on with him.

Some men aren’t cheating just because, lying for the sport of it, hiding pain for nothing, or blaming wives and girlfriends for almost any and everything, there is a bigger story behind the “I’m good…just fine. I don’t need any help.” If you or someone you know is going through fluctuating mood swings, experiencing dark thoughts, finding irrational fault with people at home and elsewhere, and overall not acting like self, encourage that man to get some help.

Nicholl McGuire is the owner and manager of this blog.


Blog Owner Shares the Signficance of Training Sons Up in the Way They Should Go

Photo taken by N.McGuire 2017
I have a great responsibility, parenting four African American sons who were already judged before they were out of my womb.  I have spent going on 18 years now fighting everyone from the relatives who had little or no time, money or energy to teach them (yet they claimed they were "helping") to the strangers who watched me push double strollers years back and assumed I was on welfare and there was no father in their lives. 

The pressure has been on for years to train up a child not my way, society's way or anyone else's way, but God's.  There is a call for many believers by the one true God to train children mentally, physically and spiritually.  When parents and guardians head to their graves, what will they leave behind for children?  Unresolved issues, secrets, lies, cover ups, sin, etc.?  As parents we must prepare them not just for school, but beyond!  We share life lessons about things other than sports like:  seeking and finding a good partner, maintaining a quality relationship with one person (not several), prayer, finances, business (like being an entrepreneur/business owner), raising children, taking care of our bodies, and more.  This way they defy the odds that often depict us in a negative light.  We break stereotypes and we avoid feeding the ghetto wheel of destruction that steals our joy, kills our spirits, and destroys our bodies.

You know when you are doing good with your children when the feedback is positive from teachers, other parents, family, friends, and strangers on the street.  I have received progress reports that I didn't ask for or want but appreciated the compliments and the not-so good comments.  They only fuel my fire and motivate me to keep working with them.  Yet, there is a bigger fight ahead, ushering them into manhood--protecting their identity from those who are looking to take that away.  I can't teach on being a man, but their fathers can (two men--an ex and a current husband)--simply by the way they conduct themselves.  The fathers' actions speak far louder than their words as well as  other positive mentors.  The boys learn what is right from what is wrong from elders while working hard to be different and learn from others' mistakes.

These boys are an eclectic mix, like me, with unique interests.  Our ancestry comes shining forth in so many ways we are definitely not limited by what we look like, others' views, or modern day influences.  There are aspects of who we are as a family that go beyond our skin tones. 

Nicholl McGuire A.A. Blog Owner
I am excited about the future and am grateful that God is in our lives.  I pray that my sons remain faithful to Him above everyone and everything else!

Nicholl McGuire

The Cold Heart Facts on Cheating - spiritual perspective


RACISM IN RUSSIA? Traveling While Black in Russia | African American Travel

Boggs Rural Life Center is Collecting Books Written by African American Writers, Library Honoring Former Mayor

Interested in assisting an organization stock their library shelves with your work or the books of other African American writers?  If so, Boggs Rural Life Center, Inc. is building a collection of books for a library housed in the Phelps building approximately 19,000 square feet located at Boggs Academy, a former Presbyterian school founded in 1906 in Keysville, Burke County, Georgia.

Boggs Academy was an outstanding college-preparatory academy for African Americans, but the school was closed in 1984.  To date, the facility has a theater, computer lab and several meeting rooms.  On the campus Boggs Rural Life with the help of Georgia Clients Council, Inc. (GCC) is renovating one dorm for retreats and trainings focused on writing and writers.  GCC is offering Georgia writers the opportunity to be more hands on.  There is a nominal membership of $30.00 per year which will help them do a few writing workshops for high school students and featured book signing events throughout the year. 

There are plans underway for a special writers' banner and a Arthur’s catalog.  If you would like to be a part of history at the groups' grand opening/ribbon cutting ceremony Saturday, January 27, 2018, then send your photo and bio so it can be on display. The GCC membership is for you too and not just Georgia residents.

If you are a black writer and have something published Boggs Rural Life Inc. would like it.  It doesn't have to be a writing about African Americans or history.  The library is in honor of Emma Gresham who graduated from Boggs Academy at the age of 15 years as the Salutatorian of her class, she is also a 1953 honor graduate of Paine College, according to Wikipedia. 

"In 1985, once finding out about the inactive charter and government of her hometown of Keysville, GA which (had) not been functioning since 1933, she ran for Mayor. Mrs. Gresham ran, only to have the position stripped from her after five hours by a Superior Court judge in Augusta who revoked the city's charter, upholding a challenge by a group of white residents who disputed the town's boundaries.

After national news coverage due in 1989 and due to a tape-recorded oral history from the town's oldest resident, 93-year-old Henry Key the city was able to determine boundary lines. In 1989, a federal court upheld the elections, and on June 4, 1990, the Supreme Court affirmed the lower court's ruling. Mrs. Gresham remained mayor of Keysville, GA until 2005. During her tenure of 20 years, Mayor Gresham has helped Keysville, GA to have a fully functioning Water and sewer service; street lights; fire department; library; post office; wastewater treatment plant; after-school program and municipal building.

Mayor Gresham is the second African American female to be a chief elected official in Georgia. She is active at her church Mt. Tabor African Methodist Episcopal Church, where she is a lifelong member and 3rd Generation A.M.E. Church Leader Among her hundreds of awards, she has received an Essence Award, One Hundred Eckerd Women, SCLC Drum Major for Justice..."

Contact if you have any questions.

Published work may be sent to:
Attn: Library
P.O.BOX 178
Keysville, Ga. 30816

Send membership fee to:

Attn: Augusta GCC
P.O. Box 178
Keysville, Ga 30816


On Being Falsely Accused of Hating Black Men

It feels just like when you, my brutha, is being falsely accused by the police of doing something
that you didn't do.  "I didn't do it... it wasn't me...that's not what I was doing...Listen to me, listen to me...what you're saying is not me!  My mama raised me better than that!" 

Know who is friend and who is foe, know the difference between a woman and a b*tch. 
Every black woman that boldly speaks truth isn't an enemy,
but you can help create one with a "one size fits all" mentality.

Are you sure you want to make us your foe?

Nicholl McGuire

Enjoy the journey.

Viewer request - God Cares About the Soul Not The Color - pride, prejudi...


Around the World Our People are Loved and Hated

On one side of the world you see a black celebrity being praised for his accomplishments, but on the other side he might be ridiculed for his same achievement.  We live in a fickle world with fickle people doing some fickle things and if you are not a favorite or you are on that slow decline from favor, you are headed in the direction of hate.

Take a look at the many black celebrities around the world who remain at the top while others disappear for a much needed break to tend to families and others like those one hit wonders are never see or heard from again.  Notice how non-blacks treat and mistreat blacks in media. 

When there is something to be gained, they are celebrated, but when they are no longer useful, they are forgotten or worse publicly shamed.  This is why for some celebrities in mainstream media right now they are fighting to stay in front of our faces.  They will use family members, friends, tragedy, previous connections, and anyone or anything to remain relevant.  Many naïve individuals fall for the media hype and others know better.  I must admit I get tired of seeing the same people at the top year after year in sports, politics, music, law, and more, I know there are plenty African Americans who we don't know their names, but they deserve to be in the spotlight.

Black entertainers are loved above everyone else all around the world when they have given their all from money contributions to making people laugh, cry, emotionally feel again, etc.  Crowds of people will scream for them, raise their hands up as if worshipping them, and will argue or fight with others if one wrong word is spoken about their idols.  But what goes up, surely comes down in entertainment world.  Sometimes an elitist organization, for whatever reason, uses blacks in media like pawns in a game to take down other blacks, distract our people from what elitists are up to, steal our money, or set us back emotionally, physically or spiritually.  Once someone or a group feels threatened by black, they work to put him or her on his or her back in a variety of ways including police shootings.

I feel like a another drastic change is coming for people in media, the kind that isn't going to propel us but set us back because for far too many years those who had pull in mainstream media got comfortable.  They also got afraid.  They were well-trained in what could happen if they wanted to revolutionize anything or in other words, make a difference in their communities and in the lives of others.  Charitable acts are specially selected for wealthy blacks.  What they say to us and others is controlled.  Where they go and who they connect with is manufactured by handlers.  There isn't too much that they can do even though they may have proven their worth.  And when we see the chains hidden in plain site, we pity them and then pity turns into hate.  "Why did that celebrity sell out in the first place?"

Our people are loved. hated. and sometimes forgotten.  It doesn't matter who "they" are just know that just as one starts to feel like he or she is understood by the masses, feels comfortable spreading truth, and has favor with many, there are those who lie wait to bring them down around the world.

Nicholl McGuire

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems: What Do Women Like About Men? Here's 10

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems: What Do Women Like About Men? Here's 10: Are you a man curious about what women like about men? Do you genuinely want to change certain things about you to draw the right woman ...


Happy Father's Day - For the Man who Enjoys Being a Dad

We salute or pat the men on the back who genuinely put their time, energy and money into building their families up not breaking them down due to unmet selfish needs.  As for the men who are all lip service whether to us or others this upcoming holiday, we have nothing to say to them or about them, all is quiet--God sets things up that way.  Sure, the reprobate, apostate, backsliders, and downright evil men will tell you people on and offline nice statements about their families on their social media accounts or at workplaces, but we either know our relatives quite well or live with them.
These kinfolk as well as "baby daddies" have lied, cheated, stole, acted disrespectful to the ones who bore them children and more.  They may act kind to the children when they are "in the mood" just so long as handing money or a toy doesn't inconvenience them.  But let that child whine, complain, or ask for more...and oh boy!  All hell is going to break lose.  "Did you put that child up to asking me for that?  I ain't got no more money for ya'll!  Stop asking me!  You got a job, use your d@mn money!  I don't play...Don't you know how to do that, why you asking me go ask your Mama!"  the insulted and impatient fathers say.

Yet, the father, the one who makes sacrifices for his--the one who shows the children how much he loves mom too, he is to be commended!  There is no blame, shame, or having to tame him, he knows what to do to make his family happy.  He works, pays bills, sits down with his family to a periodic meal or daily, he attends worship service or prays with family at home, a generous and kind man, it isn't any wonder he is most wanted.

I don't know about you but I am not dispensing Happy Father's Day to just anyone.  I am not going to hide, lie and cover up truth either.  Every year on and offline there is always someone or a group that sings praises to men in and out of churches who don't have a clue what is really going on with them when it comes to marriage and family and the same thing occurs around Mother's Day too. 

Some secretly angry or bitter men and women resent their life choices.  They consider anything that takes away from their fun, quiet time, or money a burden.  Rather than be faithful to a partner and train up a child, they treat that a partner and a child like toys.  They pay attention to them when they "feel" like playing with them whether morally or immorally while looking for selfish benefits.

Fathers, who never wanted to be fathers, hide their resentful emotions by projecting their frustrations on to the mothers in or out of their lives even when the door has been left wide open for them to walk right out and never come back.  They use partners and children for photo opps, extra income, fodder around the water cooler at work, and for the narcissists and psychopaths' supply emotionally, physically or otherwise.  Sometimes the children are used as tools to lure new partners until they are no longer needed.  Children are "good workers" and "make me proud" to doting parents who are more concerned about how they look rather than contributions made in the lives of their families.  But when kids are older, more discerning and cost more while no longer feeding these fathers' and stepfathers' egos they are criticized, written out of wills, and banned from coming around the family.  The son is no good, the daughter is full of sh*t, and the grandchildren are "good for nothing."  And God sees and hears all.

One day a father will have to give account to his Creator for all those hours he sat watching strangers play sports on entertainment devices rather than get out with his children and show them how to play.  He will have to tell of times he could have given more to the family he lives with or created, but held back so that lovers, parents, siblings, extended relatives, exes and others could benefit while feeding his ego with, "You are such a good son...You are the best brother...Thank you so much Uncle!"  Meanwhile, his children and grandchildren are still struggling, asking people outside the family for hand-outs, or forced to sign up for government programs due to his frugality or lack.  He will have to explain why he was so hateful toward his children's mom or mothers and why he did everything to avoid paying child support.  He will have to come clean before the Lord confessing why he didn't listen to truth.

So why esteem those who are undeserving of such a holiday?  Is it because you desire to feel good by making someone else feel good--wouldn't it be better to expose men on their evil ways and be blessed by the great I AM?  Why call something or someone "good" when it is evident he or it is evil?  Why tell lies and exaggerations to puff up the pride of children of darkness who say and do despicable things behind the backs of grandmothers, mothers and children?  Why?  Does one's dysfunctional programming passed down from generations call master good when he is indeed bad for fear of the repercussions for speaking up, breaking up, and moving away?  Happy Father's Day means what really?  What about your Father in heaven, doesn't he deserve the honor first and foremost?

Just because a man brings a child into this world and provides for basic needs or not doesn't make him anything more than just a man.  But a father walks in the shadow of his Almighty Father and dispenses the kind of love, patience and compassion on to his family that others can learn from and mimic. 

Say Happy Father's Day to the men who love and appreciate their families.  Examine the fruit on the trees of others and bless those who have demonstrated what it truly means to be a father beyond material wealth and money.

Blessings to the righteous fathers who are fighting the good fight--loving and appreciating wives and children.  Keep doing what you are doing!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad


How to Know He Still Loves His Ex

The quickest way to rip your lover’s heart out is to tell them that you are still in love with your ex.  However, some people think they are sparing themselves and their lover the dreaded “let’s sit down and talk” scene by simply not saying anything at all.  The following relationship scenarios are true and the names have been changed to protect the identities of those who have actually been hurt by men who still love their exs.  

Meet Darius, he has been in various short-lived relationships while dating his on again off again girlfriend, Tina.  The problem is Tiffany doesn’t know that Darius is not only still in love with his girlfriend, but he is still having sex with her.  After spending much time with Darius, going to restaurants, hanging out at his mother’s house, attending social events, Tiffany begins to notice that Darius is becoming difficult to reach by phone.  His excuse, he has been working long hours and promises they will go out again.  Being a busy college student herself and working, she understands and isn’t demanding about the two of them spending time with one another.

Then there is Kane, unlike Darius; he has shared with his girlfriend of almost two years, Leslie that he is still in love with the mother of his child, Fatima.  Despite his efforts to break up with Leslie, he can’t seem to let her go and neither can he let Fatima go either.  He always finds a way to get away from Leslie so that he can see the mother of his child.  He tells Leslie he is going to his friend’s house, and then when she calls him he can’t be reached.  One day Leslie discovers a Facebook page of a young woman left minimized on her computer.  She asks Kane about it.  He says that it is just Fatima’s page and that she just wanted him to check it out.  Leslie bothered by it, begins to question whether he still loves his child’s mother.  He admits he does, but there is nothing to their relationship anymore.  Meanwhile, he tells Leslie that he will be going to pick up his daughter from the mother’s house.  Leslie at times doesn’t see him for days.  His excuse, “I have been working…I had to help my brother with a few things…I needed some space…I have been spending time with my daughter…”

Both women are obviously under the impression that these men care for them.  They choose not to press the issue of what their gut may be telling them, “He is seeing another woman.”  Even if they find out the truth, the question remains will they allow themselves to break up with their men or will they ride the merry-go-round of break up to make up?

Tiffany eventually finds out about Darius, the hard way.  During a trip to the mall, she notices a tall man from a distance wearing what appears to be a rather unusual shirt she has seen before.  The man is standing with a woman who looks oddly like her.  The woman wears her hair back like her, her skin tone is the same color, she stands about the same height, and has the same build.  To be certain the man isn’t whom she thinks it is, she walks closer and unfortunately discovers that it is indeed Darius and his girlfriend whom she had never seen before.  Tempted she begins to walk over to the couple, but realizes she doesn’t want to make a scene; she stops close enough for Darius to get a view of her.  He sees her, he appears to look as if he is suddenly in a rush to usher his girlfriend Tina off, taking her by the arm affectionately.  Tiffany stands there appearing as if she is shopping, before she can raise her head, Darius is gone out the mall with the woman, her heart has sunk into her stomach.

After several months of allowing Kane to visit his ex, Leslie can’t do it anymore.  She has become bitter and resentful and has often picked arguments with Kane.  “Where are you going?   What are you doing?  Who are you doing it with?”  She tells him she wants him to quit seeing his ex.  Kane finally admits that he won’t stop and that he will have to end the relationship.  By this point, Leslie is not letting Kane go without a good fight.  She yells, cries, and cusses.  She reminds Kane of the sacrifices she has made to help him sort out his feelings.  After a few more times of breakup to make up and excuses of “coming over to pick up my things so I can have more make up sex,” Kane finally puts an end to the relationship.  Leslie is devastated, because through a mutual friend she has learned only weeks later after their break up, Kane is getting married.

What were the early signs that both women could have paid attention to that said, “I still love my ex?”  Let’s review.

He doesn’t make time for you when he has in the past.  Whenever you plan to go somewhere and he says, he can’t do it, he is too busy, we will catch up, etc.  He is saying these things, because he doesn’t know the other woman’s schedule, so he has to be available to her as well when she calls.

He is more interested in himself and his needs than yours.  If every time you want him to do something for you and he can’t, he is letting you know that what you want from him is unimportant.  He may also be needed by the other woman and may feel stressed with having to share money, time, sex, and other things.

He always has an excuse for being away, tardy, or breaking off engagements. (This sign is obvious if he is normally on time for everything.)  Look for patterns in his behavior.

He makes light of your “other woman” discoveries.  You find intimate notes online, offline, or text messages and he says we are just friends.  Someone tells you that they see him driving his ex’s car or riding with her and he makes an excuse such as “She needed a ride so I was helping her out.”  He doesn’t know how something owned by a woman got in his car, coat pocket, office, briefcase, or somewhere else.

He has sex with you without putting any future plans in action.  For instance, he promises to stop seeing an ex, yet you discover he is still seeing her.  He tells you that he loves you, but he is still doing things that hurt you.

He admits that he still loves her. When he is truthful about his feelings he has given you an option to stay with him or go.  He is hoping that you will stick around so that he can benefit from the both of you.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of many books including: She's Crazy and Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men.


Low Self-Esteem? Dad May Have Had it Too - book excerpt from Say Goodbye to Dad by Nicholl McGuire

When you are just beginning any major life change, you need time to yourself. You need to adjust to your new life. You will want to make necessary adjustments that suit you. Maybe cutting someone off isn't an option for you, but remaining in contact is, if so build a boundary that can't be crossed when interacting with your difficult kin. Protect your mind and heart so that you don't feel so bad being in your father or someone else's environment. Some people will only visit a relative unless they have a support system around them. Others will make contact with loved ones in ways that make them feel most comfortable such as: phone, text or email and if the conversation gets out of hand, they don't contact relatives for awhile. These sons and daughters have set up standards for themselves, because they refuse to be verbally abused by fathers and others.

Many children with low self-esteem are raised by parents who have the same issues as they do, except they have learned to cover up their personality disorders quite well. Some elderly fathers will use their aging as an excuse when unflattering behaviors expose them. They will blame others, medication, stress, etc. to keep from taking responsibilities for their negative ways. They will pretend as if they don't have enough money or time to be there for children or grandchildren when in all actuality they just don't want to be bothered with either. They will lie or minimize situations so that people don't see that there is something not quite right with their minds and mannerisms.

This lack of self esteem shows up in interesting ways with parents and then it is passed down to their offspring as indicated by the following examples. The braggart Dad covers up his self-esteem issues by purchasing over-priced cars and having many lovers. Mom does it by how she dresses tempting men with her exposed cleavage and body hugging dresses while making grandmothers gasp with, "What the hell does she have on?" The children are a mix of the pair with a daughter dressing and acting strangely while keeping her parents secrets, a son often angry but can't properly express what he feels, and another son bragging about his latest apparel or shoe purchase to cover up the pain he feels inside. Does the parents, who are secretly critical of themselves and have little love, if any, for children see what is happening? Not at all. How can they build up their children's self esteem when they don't genuinely love or respect themselves?

You may have noticed your father's lacking self esteem. He may have done things like: periodically talked negatively about himself, life choices he has made, wishes for success, hid behind others' achievements, talked negatively about those who have made better life choices, or projected his personal issues onto others. He might have joked about his unattractive appearance, lack of money, how he is not too smart, or a bit crazy. Critical relatives and friends may have insulted his intelligence and his appearance growing up and assigned him negative nicknames. Therefore, Dad used his children and other people to make his self feel better--this was his form of release for some of his personal childhood and young adult woes he never bothered to discuss with anyone.

When a discerning daughter or son no longer sees Dad as Superman, a god, or another heroic figure, it can hurt the poor man who created a false image of himself for many years. When he chooses not to be open and honest about his shortcomings and prefers not to explain why he reacts the way he does toward his family, it only makes matters worse for the children who observe him, because they are going to start to come to their own conclusions about him. For some, they don't rebel against Dads per se, but they rebel against the mental games their fathers play with them. Rather than play into Dad's games of making himself appear to be something more than what he is, some children simply ignore the man. Mom attempts to re-work a public relations campaign when she sees that the gap is only widening between a father and his adult children, but by that point, it is too late.

Get your copy of Say Goodbye to Dad by Nicholl McGuire available in print and eBook.



Rejection this is something as an African American living in the United States knows all too well if you live, work, or play in communities who don't necessarily like your "kind" around.  Yes, we still have those who are like their grandparents, great grandparents and ancestors who despise "black" or "African American" people or when they are feeling quite bold the "N" word slips up.

What does it feel like when one is rejected whether overtly or covertly?  Well I can tell you from personal experience it is an irritating feeling like a rash and sometimes it grows into anger.  "After all I have done...the things I have accomplished...these people are finding fault with me!  They don't bother to acknowledge me...What the...?" 

Yeah, feelings of rejection bring out the ugly in anyone.  But I cope.  I deal with the fact that some people can't get pass their ignorant mindsets.  They don't have minds of their own, still caught up in childhood brainwashing, "Stay away from those people.  Them people is trouble!  Don't go playing with n*ggas!"  So they hear the voices in their heads while they recall some ignorant media they have watched or listened to and so they ignore what they are programmed to keep away from--sassy blacks, crazy blacks, weird blacks, successful blacks that have more than them, etc.  Sad but so true.

Think of the many people (including you) who could have had good relationships or friendships with people outside of their ethnicities, but because of racial programming, profiling, acts of violence, etc. they look the other way.  It happens to me often being oftentimes one of a few minorities in predominately white circles.  Someone (non-black) tells me how they really enjoyed my company, liked me, and would like to get together, but you see them again and its as if they never met you or spoke such kind words.  You learn later they have a crew of people who look and act like them and its safe to assume they aren't much interested in dealing with that fight that comes with befriending minorities amongst their prejudice favorites.  Sooner or later the mere appearance of that token black in the circle is going to move the ignorant to say something they have no business saying (sigh).

So the rejected becomes the rejecting after repeated fights to fit in--which now that I am older, I have long given that up, but I speak to this for someone reading my blog post.  We filter who we meet with a fine tooth comb and if they don't meet certain criteria we reject.  I use to do it for petty reasons just because I felt empowered in some way.  We look for evidence that one is for us or against us and if we find out "against" we look for ways to make them pay.  We are watchful over what we say or do and reserve the best for our kind--some of you remember when the brutha or sista gave you the hook up--it was a kick in the shins to the establishment.  And then of course, we don't give too much or too little to a connection we have made with someone usually non-black, because we just don't know, we just don't know--helper or traitor.

Nicholl McGuire is the blog owner and author of many books including: When Mothers Cry and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.

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