Past relationships end without notice. Bodily pain shows up
where there wasn’t any problems before. Hair thins, muscles lose mass and belly
fat increases. A man looks in the mirror one day and no longer likes what he
sees. No matter how hard he tries he doesn’t feel or look good. His memory at
times doesn’t function at the rate it once did and sometimes he has moments
where he feels like he is out of control. He is more sensitive about issues
whereas before he could care less.
What do African American men do who experience so much
mental and physical change? Well for some they project their issues onto
others. They find fault with loved ones. They lash out on people without
thinking about the consequences and just think it all is tied to what I
describe “Midlife Mean.” African American men who are angry but not due to what
many think like societal challenges. Sure there is cause to be frustrated about
many things, but there are other factors that have little to do with a brother
being locked up or gunned down again. A man is getting older and he doesn’t
like what is happening to him is secretly more important to a number of men
more than what we think.
Consider those men that suddenly make huge life changes with
the excuse that they just want something different. Yet, upon closer inspection
of their so-called self improvement efforts it looks more like self
destruction. These males go off and do the unthinkable. For some their
undiagnosed health problems turn into challenges for others and no one bothers
to think that many of these men 40 plus are going through some personal woes.
Women are more likely to talk about things like premenstrual syndrome,
perimenopause and menopause with doctors, relatives and friends, but men in
general will avoid most topics related to their body. They don’t want to snitch
on themselves. So the male who is experiencing midlife mean related symptoms
flies under the radar and presents to others only what he feels is necessary to
cover or mask what is really going on with him.
Some men aren’t cheating just because, lying for the sport
of it, hiding pain for nothing, or blaming wives and girlfriends for almost any
and everything, there is a bigger story behind the “I’m good…just fine. I don’t
need any help.” If you or someone you know is going through fluctuating mood
swings, experiencing dark thoughts, finding irrational fault with people at
home and elsewhere, and overall not acting like self, encourage that man to get
some help.
Nicholl McGuire is the owner and manager of this blog.
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