Showing posts with label african american. Show all posts
Showing posts with label african american. Show all posts
Sunday
Sites Worth a Look - African American Current Events, History
Current Events
The Root - Official Site
BlackNews.com | Black News | African American News
African-American Media Resources | CDC Online Newsroom | …
NewsOne - Official Site
Black News, Entertainment, Style and Culture - HuffPost ...
The Grio - Official Site
African-American News - Black American Views - EBONY
News Wire Service - Get the word out about the pressing issues on your heart!
Black PR Wire's Top 150 | Black PR Wire, Inc.
BlackPR.com - Black Public Relations | Press Release/ News ...
African American Publications
Top 10 African American Publications | Cision
Black Publications - African American Web Connection
Top Black Newspapers | African American Newspapers
African American News Media: Fact Sheet
History References
African American History - Library of Congress
African-Americans - New World Encyclopedia
African American Research | National Archives
The Root - Official Site
BlackNews.com | Black News | African American News
African-American Media Resources | CDC Online Newsroom | …
NewsOne - Official Site
Black News, Entertainment, Style and Culture - HuffPost ...
The Grio - Official Site
African-American News - Black American Views - EBONY
News Wire Service - Get the word out about the pressing issues on your heart!
Black PR Wire's Top 150 | Black PR Wire, Inc.
BlackPR.com - Black Public Relations | Press Release/ News ...
African American Publications
Top 10 African American Publications | Cision
Black Publications - African American Web Connection
Top Black Newspapers | African American Newspapers
African American News Media: Fact Sheet
History References
African American History - Library of Congress
African-Americans - New World Encyclopedia
African American Research | National Archives
When They Tell Me I'm an African American, Black
Why be offended when "they" identify you as "black"or "African American"? Why dislike those who put a label on you or place you in a "your type" box? If that is how "they" define you, and you consider yourself to be different, then there just might be a disagreement. One who is not fearful of labels, criticisms, etc. will and needs to stand up for his or herself.
I find some African Americans suffer with various personality disorders, because for far too long they have been passive about sharing how they really feel to "they." These non-blacks, who are at times ill-equipped, to converse with African Americans say the wrong things and do wrong, because no one has bothered to educate some on what are considered minor and major offenses in the black community. The reaction to being described as "black or African American" varies. Some of our people could care less about descriptions just don't call them out of their names. Others find assumptions are offensive when they have one parent who is not African American and the other is. Then you have those blacks or African Americans who are listening real closely how you talk about them. Is it really necessary to mention that someone in a story was black or African American while other individuals in the same story are not described as being white or otherwise?
Some of us get told we are "too sensitive" because we let what others say about us get under our skin. Being called black, African American bi-racial, or something else, depending on who you speak to, is good, bad or otherwise to them, but doesn't represent the majority even if they look black. This is why it is always best to keep one's personal observation to his or herself until the opportunity comes to discuss one's ethnicity. We don't have to embrace descriptions just because someone tells us we should. You have the privilege of being yourself whatever you define yourself to be.
I think of those men and women who either spit out "blaaack" or hesitate when they say, "African-American" and I can't help but feel a sense of sadness. It is obvious from their reaction that they are grappling with some deep emotions. Something or someone made them feel badly about saying what they are. They discovered something about the labels that left them with a bad taste in their mouths. Others just wanted to stop with all the labels. All are right in how they feel.
When one, who isn't you, says what they think you are, you can nod in agreement, correct them, educate, or ignore that person, your choice. But what we need to think twice about doing is going along just to get along when we feel differently. Of course, there will be critics and others who will tell you what to say, how to think, and what to do, but you are in control of you!
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
I find some African Americans suffer with various personality disorders, because for far too long they have been passive about sharing how they really feel to "they." These non-blacks, who are at times ill-equipped, to converse with African Americans say the wrong things and do wrong, because no one has bothered to educate some on what are considered minor and major offenses in the black community. The reaction to being described as "black or African American" varies. Some of our people could care less about descriptions just don't call them out of their names. Others find assumptions are offensive when they have one parent who is not African American and the other is. Then you have those blacks or African Americans who are listening real closely how you talk about them. Is it really necessary to mention that someone in a story was black or African American while other individuals in the same story are not described as being white or otherwise?
Some of us get told we are "too sensitive" because we let what others say about us get under our skin. Being called black, African American bi-racial, or something else, depending on who you speak to, is good, bad or otherwise to them, but doesn't represent the majority even if they look black. This is why it is always best to keep one's personal observation to his or herself until the opportunity comes to discuss one's ethnicity. We don't have to embrace descriptions just because someone tells us we should. You have the privilege of being yourself whatever you define yourself to be.
I think of those men and women who either spit out "blaaack" or hesitate when they say, "African-American" and I can't help but feel a sense of sadness. It is obvious from their reaction that they are grappling with some deep emotions. Something or someone made them feel badly about saying what they are. They discovered something about the labels that left them with a bad taste in their mouths. Others just wanted to stop with all the labels. All are right in how they feel.
When one, who isn't you, says what they think you are, you can nod in agreement, correct them, educate, or ignore that person, your choice. But what we need to think twice about doing is going along just to get along when we feel differently. Of course, there will be critics and others who will tell you what to say, how to think, and what to do, but you are in control of you!
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
Tuesday
On Playing Dumb - When Some Blacks Fit the Stereotype
The eyes will light up with some of our people when they hear of the latest gossip about a celebrity, how many points a favorite athlete made in a game, and what might be the latest bling that will make the ladies and gentlemen's heads turn when they walk by. Meanwhile, others will just shake their heads, knowing full well that yet again the dumb down effect is working. "Aren't you concerned about anything else?" the discerning loved one asks his or her foolish relative. Not with some blacks, meaningless information and stuff is often more important than anything else.
Some blacks are in fact dumb enough to go along with just about anything. Those with more money, an increase in assets, and additional opportunities can only see themselves in the mirror. But as we all know, what goes up, must come down and this is why some blacks just aren't getting a break from mainstream media to the local neighborhood. There is indeed a dark spirit that is ever present with some blacks who just never learn. Prideful, argumentative, know-it-all blacks with a chip on their shoulders ignore wisdom, righteous living, and anything that is going to point out their ugly ways. This is why some get labeled by successful groups and individuals, "Hard to work with...Bad attitude...Keep away...Self-hating black...Sell-out...Black and ugly..." You get the point.
The lack of intelligence in some African-Americans tends to show up when under pressure. Some eyes start twitching, words get mixed up, there is some stammering and stuttering, and a whole lot of lying. Too dumb to shut up, the motor mouth black will keep going like an energizer rabbit. "I don't know anything...What had happened was...I didn't see nothin'...What you talkin about?" Like a Mexican pretending not to know English, an African American caught in a mess of drama will play dumb. This is often encouraged in the ghetto. "You know somethin'?" Yes, you might say. "Well then play dumb. Don't everyone need to know what you know, you hear?"
This play dumb act (rooted from slavery when the masters questioned their slaves) has been going on for centuries and because of the stupidity in this teaching is why many blacks are often held back in school, sit on the bench at sporting events, and can't get or keep a good black man or woman to save their lives! Dumb is viewed as cool. Smart is considered weak, dumb, stupid etc. When a non-black asks you a question, you are told by elders, "They don't need to know all your business."
Educated blacks are still purging out the mess left behind from previous generations who refused to pick up a book and actually enjoy reading it. Young children have to be reminded that books come first then play. The rebellious kids will fall out, argue, slam things, act like idiots when they are told to do homework. Some are often scolded for singing, rapping, dancing and acting like a fool at the wrong place and at the wrong time, thanks to foolish parents who glorify buffoonery. "Dance for mama, baby...go ahead...Rap...yeah shake that..." Many know how to shimmy and shake before they even know how to pick up a book!
It isn't any wonder that some non-blacks will criticize certain blacks for acting ghetto and why others will accuse their people for playing dumb. Just take a look around. Dumb is on TV, in the comment sections of web pages, hanging on a wall, driving down the street, or singing on a stage. I said it in the past, and I will say it again, "Come up higher!" Educate those you claim to love and remind them there is a time and place for all things. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
Some blacks are in fact dumb enough to go along with just about anything. Those with more money, an increase in assets, and additional opportunities can only see themselves in the mirror. But as we all know, what goes up, must come down and this is why some blacks just aren't getting a break from mainstream media to the local neighborhood. There is indeed a dark spirit that is ever present with some blacks who just never learn. Prideful, argumentative, know-it-all blacks with a chip on their shoulders ignore wisdom, righteous living, and anything that is going to point out their ugly ways. This is why some get labeled by successful groups and individuals, "Hard to work with...Bad attitude...Keep away...Self-hating black...Sell-out...Black and ugly..." You get the point.
The lack of intelligence in some African-Americans tends to show up when under pressure. Some eyes start twitching, words get mixed up, there is some stammering and stuttering, and a whole lot of lying. Too dumb to shut up, the motor mouth black will keep going like an energizer rabbit. "I don't know anything...What had happened was...I didn't see nothin'...What you talkin about?" Like a Mexican pretending not to know English, an African American caught in a mess of drama will play dumb. This is often encouraged in the ghetto. "You know somethin'?" Yes, you might say. "Well then play dumb. Don't everyone need to know what you know, you hear?"
This play dumb act (rooted from slavery when the masters questioned their slaves) has been going on for centuries and because of the stupidity in this teaching is why many blacks are often held back in school, sit on the bench at sporting events, and can't get or keep a good black man or woman to save their lives! Dumb is viewed as cool. Smart is considered weak, dumb, stupid etc. When a non-black asks you a question, you are told by elders, "They don't need to know all your business."
Educated blacks are still purging out the mess left behind from previous generations who refused to pick up a book and actually enjoy reading it. Young children have to be reminded that books come first then play. The rebellious kids will fall out, argue, slam things, act like idiots when they are told to do homework. Some are often scolded for singing, rapping, dancing and acting like a fool at the wrong place and at the wrong time, thanks to foolish parents who glorify buffoonery. "Dance for mama, baby...go ahead...Rap...yeah shake that..." Many know how to shimmy and shake before they even know how to pick up a book!
It isn't any wonder that some non-blacks will criticize certain blacks for acting ghetto and why others will accuse their people for playing dumb. Just take a look around. Dumb is on TV, in the comment sections of web pages, hanging on a wall, driving down the street, or singing on a stage. I said it in the past, and I will say it again, "Come up higher!" Educate those you claim to love and remind them there is a time and place for all things. "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me." 1 Corinthians 13:11 (NIV).
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7
Wednesday
Black Pride Comes Before a Fall
Years of success has went to the heads of many of our black elders in communities across our land. Egos that are large like the watermelons planted in rich soil by slaves of yesteryear, the arrogant are selfish, jealous, and downright vengeful. Why so prideful? Why the need to raise one's tone of voice, look down on others, and act like a Know-It-All, when one knows not? Why bother to break a fellow brother or sister down because he or she simply doesn't agree? Why act rudely toward someone because he or she might be more knowledgeable about a certain subject matter?
Most blacks, as well as, non-blacks have already had a run-in or two with the sassy, young woman who looks for an opportunity to flaunt her nasty attitude while using her mouth to curse someone. But let us not forget, the older blacks who use position, connections, money, and fame to do everything from control others to shed blood. These mean-spirited people, who can smile in your face while steadily stab you in the back, are the ones you must watch while praying that you come out alive after all the mess they stir up. The following are examples of prideful people doing things to cover themselves.
A black leader might be quick-tempered and ill-equipped to handle what he is not use to, so he passes his responsibilities on to others while taking credit for work he has not done. Discerning observers should watch for this type of action and work swiftly to make changes before the boss takes the whole organization down with him (or her) due to sneaky ways of doing business. In another example, a wife is argumentative and often angry about a variety of family issues. Rather than deal with each problem one by one, she insults others while making excuses for her actions. A person like this is better left alone to contemplate the havoc she has caused for herself and others, because she refuses to deal with her personal problems. In this final example, a worker lacks discretion when it comes to conversing with his superiors without apology or making needed changes. It is only a matter of time that leadership will eventually find a way to rid themselves of their "challenge." All of these arrogant types are tempted to lie to keep jobs, money, relationship and more while throwing witnesses, advisers, and friends under the bus when their motives are called into question.
"Who does she think she is coming into my office telling me about XYZ? What kind of worker would feel the need to tell his boss about...Isn't he concerned that he may not get hired?"the man or woman with the issue of pride thinks to his or her self. One with no ego issue could care less about money, fame, power, position, or impressing others. Yet, the man or woman who believes that aging years, skin color, and personal satisfaction is of the utmost importance believes that most people think like him or her. Therefore, the strategies that this individual might use to manipulate a person or situation will center around years of knowledge/connections/degree/job title, topics related to ethnicity, and self-esteem. He or she might talk often about how much he or she knows, negative talk about fellow blacks while overtly or covertly bragging about one's self, family and connections.
This sort of negative behavior isn't just coming from old, prideful black men and women, but is also demonstrated in young, "think I know-it-all" black men and women who have studied and practiced the ways of arrogant mentors/teachers. They believe that somehow they are different when in all actuality they are nothing more than Mini-Me's. They too are concerned about money, power, fame, etc. and will fight to protect what little they have accumulated even if this means one day crossing the ones who showed them the ropes in the first place! The young and the restless will flock to people and places (sometimes without their shepherds) in the hopes that their connections will get them into the "in" crowd--that is if they aren't already in due to shady dealings, ethics, and favor.
Often critical of their elders, these young, foolish men and women will display child-like character when placed under pressure. From lying to vehemently arguing over things that are not worth debating about. The snobbish, also known as, boogie type of black will do nothing more than sit back and watch their own young hang themselves in career, family, and more. While commenting to fellow senior brothers and sisters, "You can't tell these young people anything."
Nicholl McGuire, author of Know Your Enemy: The Christians Critic, Amazon.com Check out her audio/video on YouTube and subscribe to nmenterprise7.
Most blacks, as well as, non-blacks have already had a run-in or two with the sassy, young woman who looks for an opportunity to flaunt her nasty attitude while using her mouth to curse someone. But let us not forget, the older blacks who use position, connections, money, and fame to do everything from control others to shed blood. These mean-spirited people, who can smile in your face while steadily stab you in the back, are the ones you must watch while praying that you come out alive after all the mess they stir up. The following are examples of prideful people doing things to cover themselves.
A black leader might be quick-tempered and ill-equipped to handle what he is not use to, so he passes his responsibilities on to others while taking credit for work he has not done. Discerning observers should watch for this type of action and work swiftly to make changes before the boss takes the whole organization down with him (or her) due to sneaky ways of doing business. In another example, a wife is argumentative and often angry about a variety of family issues. Rather than deal with each problem one by one, she insults others while making excuses for her actions. A person like this is better left alone to contemplate the havoc she has caused for herself and others, because she refuses to deal with her personal problems. In this final example, a worker lacks discretion when it comes to conversing with his superiors without apology or making needed changes. It is only a matter of time that leadership will eventually find a way to rid themselves of their "challenge." All of these arrogant types are tempted to lie to keep jobs, money, relationship and more while throwing witnesses, advisers, and friends under the bus when their motives are called into question.
"Who does she think she is coming into my office telling me about XYZ? What kind of worker would feel the need to tell his boss about...Isn't he concerned that he may not get hired?"the man or woman with the issue of pride thinks to his or her self. One with no ego issue could care less about money, fame, power, position, or impressing others. Yet, the man or woman who believes that aging years, skin color, and personal satisfaction is of the utmost importance believes that most people think like him or her. Therefore, the strategies that this individual might use to manipulate a person or situation will center around years of knowledge/connections/degree/job title, topics related to ethnicity, and self-esteem. He or she might talk often about how much he or she knows, negative talk about fellow blacks while overtly or covertly bragging about one's self, family and connections.
This sort of negative behavior isn't just coming from old, prideful black men and women, but is also demonstrated in young, "think I know-it-all" black men and women who have studied and practiced the ways of arrogant mentors/teachers. They believe that somehow they are different when in all actuality they are nothing more than Mini-Me's. They too are concerned about money, power, fame, etc. and will fight to protect what little they have accumulated even if this means one day crossing the ones who showed them the ropes in the first place! The young and the restless will flock to people and places (sometimes without their shepherds) in the hopes that their connections will get them into the "in" crowd--that is if they aren't already in due to shady dealings, ethics, and favor.
Often critical of their elders, these young, foolish men and women will display child-like character when placed under pressure. From lying to vehemently arguing over things that are not worth debating about. The snobbish, also known as, boogie type of black will do nothing more than sit back and watch their own young hang themselves in career, family, and more. While commenting to fellow senior brothers and sisters, "You can't tell these young people anything."
Nicholl McGuire, author of Know Your Enemy: The Christians Critic, Amazon.com Check out her audio/video on YouTube and subscribe to nmenterprise7.
Thursday
All Blacks aren't from Africa
Black Hebrew Israelites
Interesting history. Black American bloodlines aren't all from Africa. Not everyone in Israel is a Jew. Many are from Europe. Jesus was not white.
Learn more about biblical times and the people who lived back then. If you are a Christian, take some time to uncover the lies you have been told about the Holy Bible and the people in it.
What will DNA reveal about you?
Interesting history. Black American bloodlines aren't all from Africa. Not everyone in Israel is a Jew. Many are from Europe. Jesus was not white.
Learn more about biblical times and the people who lived back then. If you are a Christian, take some time to uncover the lies you have been told about the Holy Bible and the people in it.
What will DNA reveal about you?
Friday
Who or What Have We Become?
Dancin', singin', playin', hollerin'
wild, crazy, unique, a lady?
Dribblin', jumpin', dry humpin',
confused, who is this? A man child, a baby?
Been cryin' broke for years.
Keep runnin' away from fears!
Tired of car note, rent, gas, lights...
Man, I'm just wonderin', is my future, bright?
I'm all over the place today,
got the courage to pray,
even if I didn't know what to say.
Should have saw it comin'!
There it was, a jury summons.
Called into court for testin',
I ain't that one for confessin'.
An enemy bit me a long time ago,
so my answer is, "I don't know, is it time to go?"
Look, I see things that others don't see.
I recognize the evil within me.
It takes one to know one.
A battle lost, a battle won.
Who or what have we really become?
There was that child who looked like you,
tried to do all he could to act like you.
Then there was his friend, who walked in sin,
decided one day to hit him in the shin.
This is how fools act in real life,
start with us, create some strife.
They may look like us,
ride the long bus,
pop some gum and start to cuss.
Try to speak some truth, and expose some lies.
But they huff and puff and roll some eyes.
More interested in that big booty shakin'
and feeling good off some baby makin'.
Always happy when they get some money,
then when it's spent hold back the honey.
Listen up and listen real good!
I know you wish that someone would...
but before we get all angry and stuff,
and vow to make someone's life real rough,
may I bring to you just a little news,
and open your eyes to those that abuse?
There is a game many play
and it's called, "He say, She say...
and Do What I Say!"
Control you, control others,
then go around and put down the brothers!
Create a war between friends
and then take them for their few ends!
Bring pain upon those cryin', insane!
Quiet their mouths and tell them, "Stay in your lane!"
Move on men who like to preach,
give them a paper and tell them to teach.
"Say what we tell you and don't deviate from the script,
do real well and we will give you a gift."
If you don't know the meaning behind "The Man,"
then put your head down, put it in some sand!
Cause people are showing you there is more to this life,
and it's not about reality fake show strife!
Look at those around you and what do you see?
A man, a boy, and a half naked B?
Or do you see human love, innocent and peaceful like that of a dove?
No time to build or cultivate,
ideas get put off, they incubate.
Got more time for those who sign a check,
less time for those headed for a train wreck.
Will suffer when the devils catch up,
will cry and wish for God to take your cup!
But personal griefs will come until you are done!
While the world keeps shakin' and baby makin'
men will lie and compromise.
While the world keeps cryin' and many keep dyin'
fathers will run from their sons,
tradin' their lives for a little fun.
While the world keeps movin' and promisin' to soothe,
daughters will find someone that will use and abuse.
While the world keeps robbin' and mommas keep sobbin',
there will be those that will continue to expose...
skin, men, women, and biblical sin
which group will you be in?
Nicholl McGuire also writes poetry at Spiritual Poems by Nicholl and Love Poems By Nicholl.
wild, crazy, unique, a lady?
Dribblin', jumpin', dry humpin',
confused, who is this? A man child, a baby?
Been cryin' broke for years.
Keep runnin' away from fears!
Tired of car note, rent, gas, lights...
Man, I'm just wonderin', is my future, bright?
I'm all over the place today,
got the courage to pray,
even if I didn't know what to say.
Should have saw it comin'!
There it was, a jury summons.
Called into court for testin',
I ain't that one for confessin'.
An enemy bit me a long time ago,
so my answer is, "I don't know, is it time to go?"
Look, I see things that others don't see.
I recognize the evil within me.
It takes one to know one.
A battle lost, a battle won.
Who or what have we really become?
There was that child who looked like you,
tried to do all he could to act like you.
Then there was his friend, who walked in sin,
decided one day to hit him in the shin.
This is how fools act in real life,
start with us, create some strife.
They may look like us,
ride the long bus,
pop some gum and start to cuss.
Try to speak some truth, and expose some lies.
But they huff and puff and roll some eyes.
More interested in that big booty shakin'
and feeling good off some baby makin'.
Always happy when they get some money,
then when it's spent hold back the honey.
Listen up and listen real good!
I know you wish that someone would...
but before we get all angry and stuff,
and vow to make someone's life real rough,
may I bring to you just a little news,
and open your eyes to those that abuse?
There is a game many play
and it's called, "He say, She say...
and Do What I Say!"
Control you, control others,
then go around and put down the brothers!
Create a war between friends
and then take them for their few ends!
Bring pain upon those cryin', insane!
Quiet their mouths and tell them, "Stay in your lane!"
Move on men who like to preach,
give them a paper and tell them to teach.
"Say what we tell you and don't deviate from the script,
do real well and we will give you a gift."
If you don't know the meaning behind "The Man,"
then put your head down, put it in some sand!
Cause people are showing you there is more to this life,
and it's not about reality fake show strife!
Look at those around you and what do you see?
A man, a boy, and a half naked B?
Or do you see human love, innocent and peaceful like that of a dove?
No time to build or cultivate,
ideas get put off, they incubate.
Got more time for those who sign a check,
less time for those headed for a train wreck.
Will suffer when the devils catch up,
will cry and wish for God to take your cup!
But personal griefs will come until you are done!
While the world keeps shakin' and baby makin'
men will lie and compromise.
While the world keeps cryin' and many keep dyin'
fathers will run from their sons,
tradin' their lives for a little fun.
While the world keeps movin' and promisin' to soothe,
daughters will find someone that will use and abuse.
While the world keeps robbin' and mommas keep sobbin',
there will be those that will continue to expose...
skin, men, women, and biblical sin
which group will you be in?
Nicholl McGuire also writes poetry at Spiritual Poems by Nicholl and Love Poems By Nicholl.
Stubborn, Hard-Headed Black Children Grow Up to Be...
You have them in your circle stubborn, hard-headed black folk who don't listen! You tell them things like: where to go to get some help about a situation, how to put something together, and why he or she might be having problems in his or her relationship, but they just nod their head and do what they want anyway. You might have someone like this in your family or elsewhere and you are about ready to cut him or her off, but before you do, keep in mind, you didn't always listen either.
I was very angry at a relative and a friend on two separate occasions this year because the more they told me about what was troubling them, the more it seemed they would cut me off if I attempted to say something like, "Well, did you try..." I had listened to their ramblings long pass my deadline to get on with my personal tasks of the day, like use the toilet and do my hair. "Huh..." I said. "Now run that by me again, you did what? He said...Well did you try..." Back to the beginning of the conversation they go and I'm ready to get off the phone. I'm thinking, "Why are you wasting my time?"
On another occasion, I was trying to explain why something just wasn't happening related to a personal issue and why "I felt this way and why I did..." regarding this person; instead of being apologetic and providing some solutions moving forward, my listener just looked at me. No accountability for one's own deeds in the situation was taken mind you. It was as if the person was saying, "Keep on talking and eventually you will hang yourself, so I can have something to say about you." Meanwhile, I wasn't the focal point, my listener was at fault "...for not listening in the first place...doing your own thing...," but somehow the conversation was turned on me.
Hard-headed black children become hard-headed black adults who know everything and you can't tell them anything different! They will not look at the glass half full, rather everything they view is half empty. "I don't have any money and I can't look for a job right now 'cause... My man is always cheatin', but I need him right now 'cause...and I don't think I could ever find anyone who would put up with... I can't stand my baby's ma and I don't believe there is anyone I would ever marry..." on and on stubborn black folks with excuses keep talking and rarely do any walking!
When you make an attempt to advise a hard-headed individual, look out! You just might be criticized and oh no, don't bring God, church, prayer, or anything spiritual into the conversation if one has been burned by a so-called Christian in the past because you just might get cussed out! I recall when I was told about a relative who needed assistance and so I was given the phone to listen to his situation. I proceeded to advise him, but when I brought God into it, he refused to listen and boldly told me, "Don't pray for me." I thought to myself, "But you are in a situation where only Jesus can help you." This brother seriously needed a miracle. I got off the phone with him and haven't talked to him since because he has been locked up, been on drugs, and his women problems are mounting. He is keeping away from the family, because he know he messed up. Looking back, his issues since he was a child had been: "not paying attention, doesn't stay focused, doesn't follow instructions..." I rest my case.
One day I planned to meet a police officer and brought all four of my boys with me. I explained to them why they needed to hear what this man had to say. He told us that most people who are in jail today is because "they don't listen." At some point in these inmates lives someone told them, "Don't do...Stop doing...Stay away from..." and they ignored the warnings. My boys listened intently. I honestly don't know what the future holds, but all I can do is drill in their heads, "Listen! Do what I tell you to do and you won't go wrong!"
As much as I love our people, I have to admit that much of our issues are because we spend more time doing what we think is right without: checking with professionals, reading the instruction booklets carefully (like those that come with products), watching the how-to videos BEFORE starting a task, talking with wise relatives and mentors about things like relationship challenges, and taking a class on things we know we don't have any clue on how to do. We rather pretend, fake the funk, act like we know everything and then when we are shamed, we blame other people. Now you know that's not right! Don't be hard-headed!
I believe someone reading this is having his or her share of relationship struggles, money hardships, and job issues, if you would just focus on problem-solving, like looking up the information that will help you through your situation, I guarantee you will come out ahead! Pull yourself away from distractions like: celebrity news, eating, drinking, partying, and doing other things so that you can get some things accomplished! Then when you are on the right track and see some REAL results, then start talking with some folks who can help you, but until that time, keep your mouth shut; because chances are someone in your circle is tired of listening to your same old tired song and dance about your relationship, your money, your job, your children, etc.--there's your warning, reader.
I was very angry at a relative and a friend on two separate occasions this year because the more they told me about what was troubling them, the more it seemed they would cut me off if I attempted to say something like, "Well, did you try..." I had listened to their ramblings long pass my deadline to get on with my personal tasks of the day, like use the toilet and do my hair. "Huh..." I said. "Now run that by me again, you did what? He said...Well did you try..." Back to the beginning of the conversation they go and I'm ready to get off the phone. I'm thinking, "Why are you wasting my time?"
On another occasion, I was trying to explain why something just wasn't happening related to a personal issue and why "I felt this way and why I did..." regarding this person; instead of being apologetic and providing some solutions moving forward, my listener just looked at me. No accountability for one's own deeds in the situation was taken mind you. It was as if the person was saying, "Keep on talking and eventually you will hang yourself, so I can have something to say about you." Meanwhile, I wasn't the focal point, my listener was at fault "...for not listening in the first place...doing your own thing...," but somehow the conversation was turned on me.
Hard-headed black children become hard-headed black adults who know everything and you can't tell them anything different! They will not look at the glass half full, rather everything they view is half empty. "I don't have any money and I can't look for a job right now 'cause... My man is always cheatin', but I need him right now 'cause...and I don't think I could ever find anyone who would put up with... I can't stand my baby's ma and I don't believe there is anyone I would ever marry..." on and on stubborn black folks with excuses keep talking and rarely do any walking!
When you make an attempt to advise a hard-headed individual, look out! You just might be criticized and oh no, don't bring God, church, prayer, or anything spiritual into the conversation if one has been burned by a so-called Christian in the past because you just might get cussed out! I recall when I was told about a relative who needed assistance and so I was given the phone to listen to his situation. I proceeded to advise him, but when I brought God into it, he refused to listen and boldly told me, "Don't pray for me." I thought to myself, "But you are in a situation where only Jesus can help you." This brother seriously needed a miracle. I got off the phone with him and haven't talked to him since because he has been locked up, been on drugs, and his women problems are mounting. He is keeping away from the family, because he know he messed up. Looking back, his issues since he was a child had been: "not paying attention, doesn't stay focused, doesn't follow instructions..." I rest my case.
One day I planned to meet a police officer and brought all four of my boys with me. I explained to them why they needed to hear what this man had to say. He told us that most people who are in jail today is because "they don't listen." At some point in these inmates lives someone told them, "Don't do...Stop doing...Stay away from..." and they ignored the warnings. My boys listened intently. I honestly don't know what the future holds, but all I can do is drill in their heads, "Listen! Do what I tell you to do and you won't go wrong!"
As much as I love our people, I have to admit that much of our issues are because we spend more time doing what we think is right without: checking with professionals, reading the instruction booklets carefully (like those that come with products), watching the how-to videos BEFORE starting a task, talking with wise relatives and mentors about things like relationship challenges, and taking a class on things we know we don't have any clue on how to do. We rather pretend, fake the funk, act like we know everything and then when we are shamed, we blame other people. Now you know that's not right! Don't be hard-headed!
I believe someone reading this is having his or her share of relationship struggles, money hardships, and job issues, if you would just focus on problem-solving, like looking up the information that will help you through your situation, I guarantee you will come out ahead! Pull yourself away from distractions like: celebrity news, eating, drinking, partying, and doing other things so that you can get some things accomplished! Then when you are on the right track and see some REAL results, then start talking with some folks who can help you, but until that time, keep your mouth shut; because chances are someone in your circle is tired of listening to your same old tired song and dance about your relationship, your money, your job, your children, etc.--there's your warning, reader.
Saturday
Black or African American? What do you call yourself?
A poll was taken back in 2007 on the topic of blacks calling themselves black or African American. It turns out that more people prefer African American rather than black. Read more here.
Friday
Light Skin and Dark Skin Sistas Have Issues
I feel my sisters with a different hue than mine when they say they don’t like the media favoring women that look like Halle Berry, Vanessa Williams, Tyra Banks and others who look like them. I can hear someone saying, “What do you mean you can feel me with your light skin &$#@!" Let me be clear about my point, what I mean by my statement is on my side of the issue I have some opinions too about this issue of light and dark skin so yes I can feel a sista because when the lights go out -- we all are black, okay?! Here's my issue, now that some have took "a chill pill" (remember that old 90s phrase LOL!) Anyway, I am tired of some darker skin brothas trying to date lighter skin sistas primarily because of what we look like (as if there is some benefit to being with us.) I guess some brothas are interested in pretty babies like some darker skin women targeting that light skin pretty eyed black boy (I remember alot of that back in high school) they want the kind of babies (if the genes are strong enough) that have a lighter skin tone, hair texture, eye color, etc. (I suspect that some family members did that on purpose, but I am not naming no names and I am not stating who told me either!)
The truth is I am no better than my darker skin sistas, the media may depict my skin tone and others lighter than mine as better, but the truth is I bleed red just like everyone else! I find it insulting when a darker hue will comment in conversation about that “high yella...light skinned…red bone” woman, man, or child and think that what they are saying is somehow okay. Well it’s not and if I were to refer to my mother and other relatives who are darker shades than I in that way they would be insulted and guaranteed they would accuse me of being conceited or thinking I was better.
The issue of dark and light skin is only fueled even more when we allow our own people and non-black people to make a difference in us. Stop sitting there acting like you don’t hear the negative light skin and dark skin comments. Politely tell the person how you feel and why it does more harm than good to speak that way. Stand up for yourself and love the skin you are in!
Commentary by Nicholl McGuire
http://lovepoetrybynicholl.blogspot.com
The truth is I am no better than my darker skin sistas, the media may depict my skin tone and others lighter than mine as better, but the truth is I bleed red just like everyone else! I find it insulting when a darker hue will comment in conversation about that “high yella...light skinned…red bone” woman, man, or child and think that what they are saying is somehow okay. Well it’s not and if I were to refer to my mother and other relatives who are darker shades than I in that way they would be insulted and guaranteed they would accuse me of being conceited or thinking I was better.
The issue of dark and light skin is only fueled even more when we allow our own people and non-black people to make a difference in us. Stop sitting there acting like you don’t hear the negative light skin and dark skin comments. Politely tell the person how you feel and why it does more harm than good to speak that way. Stand up for yourself and love the skin you are in!
Commentary by Nicholl McGuire
http://lovepoetrybynicholl.blogspot.com
Saturday
Why are Black People Nervous About Socializing with One Another in Predominately White Environments?
Someone answer this question intelligently please! Why are some blacks afraid to converse with one another when working in predominately white environments?
I have noticed blacks act fearful of talking with one another if it is more than a simple greeting or a "I'm going to lunch..." I didn't really give this any thought until someone told me that she didn't want to let her white boss know that she communicates with her fellow black co-worker. When I asked why, she said that she didn't want him to know because he might think something was up. What? You mean we are still living in slavery even at work! I thought we were like George Jefferson "moving on up"! So conversations between fellow black co-workers are to be kept on the down low for fear that master might beat us, right? In modern times that would be translated to a firing. I can hear it now white people with nothing better to do gathering around a table meeting about those blacks talking too long by the watercooler need to be terminated. LOL!!! Tell me it isn't so Joe!
I know where this mentality comes from old ignorant black folks. Someone told some of these young blacks to not speak to one another in front of the white man or you would be giving him a reason not to like you. Don't make "masta" I mean him (or her)feel threatened or suspect that you are up to no good scheming with your black co-worker. I don't know about you, but I will talk to whomever I want. Period. Now if some of you black folks work in an environment that you fear talking to a fellow black might cost you your job then so be it. But that is sad!
Honestly, we must question why we treat one another the way we do and where it comes from. Just because grandma and grandad had that kind of life doesn't mean that we have to keep it going. Say something to a brotha or sista the next time you pass him or her, you will feel good that you did!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
I have noticed blacks act fearful of talking with one another if it is more than a simple greeting or a "I'm going to lunch..." I didn't really give this any thought until someone told me that she didn't want to let her white boss know that she communicates with her fellow black co-worker. When I asked why, she said that she didn't want him to know because he might think something was up. What? You mean we are still living in slavery even at work! I thought we were like George Jefferson "moving on up"! So conversations between fellow black co-workers are to be kept on the down low for fear that master might beat us, right? In modern times that would be translated to a firing. I can hear it now white people with nothing better to do gathering around a table meeting about those blacks talking too long by the watercooler need to be terminated. LOL!!! Tell me it isn't so Joe!
I know where this mentality comes from old ignorant black folks. Someone told some of these young blacks to not speak to one another in front of the white man or you would be giving him a reason not to like you. Don't make "masta" I mean him (or her)feel threatened or suspect that you are up to no good scheming with your black co-worker. I don't know about you, but I will talk to whomever I want. Period. Now if some of you black folks work in an environment that you fear talking to a fellow black might cost you your job then so be it. But that is sad!
Honestly, we must question why we treat one another the way we do and where it comes from. Just because grandma and grandad had that kind of life doesn't mean that we have to keep it going. Say something to a brotha or sista the next time you pass him or her, you will feel good that you did!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
Monday
Many African Americans Have their Priorities in the Wrong Places
Moving back to my childhood neighborhood has been an eye-opening experience. I see plenty of African Americans renting homes that use to be owned by Caucasians. Many of these homes that were freshly painted and surrounded with green manicured lawns are now overrun with weeds and the houses are literally ready to crumble! The awnings that are suspended to the front of the homes that once kept the owners dry from the wind, rain, and falling snow are tattered and ready to drop to the ground. Safety railings are rusted and almost uprooted out of the dirt. Rock walls are collapsing. Windows are either broken, boarded up, posted with newspaper, or have unsightly looking fabric or dirty, bent blinds. Wooden fences are rotting, and sidewalks and driveways are badly worn.
What happened? “African Americans can’t take care of nothing,” some older blacks have said of their own race. “It’s so sad to think that this was a place that used to be so nice!” It seems not only did my childhood neighborhood go downhill since our people took over, but those in my family said the same thing about their childhood surroundings. “We use to have all sorts of businesses, clubs, and bars in our neighborhood – it was nice!” But not anymore, the pain of racism, drugs, violence, war, and other calamities have came into these communities by those “who never had nothing nice” as my grandmother once told me, “…and don’t want you to have anything nice either!”
So why do so many African Americans move into communities then sit back and allow them to fall apart? No one really knows how to answer this question without blaming someone. A problem solver, optimistic type will visit an African American community dropping off yet another program to get the unruly children, drug dealers, drunks, beggars, prostitutes, and pimps off the street and the neighborhood beautified. This creative thinker recruits a team of like-minded wishful thinkers and tells them to ask others in the neighborhood to help. Mind you, this help comes after many years of negative experiences occurring in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, the program doesn’t last for long before there’s a scandal, someone is assaulted or robbed. Then the enthusiasm in the community diminishes and finances are depleted. Meanwhile, the community is listening to the sounds of bass and gun fire at various times of the day and night. With decorations here and there of nice churches, expensive cars; name-brand jackets, overly priced shoes, purses, jewelry, and long rainbow colored hair while homes, yards, and streets are in disarray!
It’s evident that many African Americans are more concerned about the cars they drive, the attire they wear, and the unhealthy food they eat, but rarely take notice of more significant matters such as: the piping in their home that needs to be replaced, the roaches that hide between the crevices in their walls, the paint that seems to be peeling everywhere you look, the windows that need to be replaced from the 1950s, the wiring that is waiting to catch a fire, and various appliances that need attention. From the looks of things, many African Americans simply have their priorities in the wrong places!
Now if we are looking to blame someone or something, blame the slavery mentality that is very much with us! Slaves were more concerned about their master's buildings then their own and their master's fields and roadways. They were proactive when it came to telling master who stole the last piece of chicken or who was caught with master’s wife, and they at times would be willing to die for their masters. However, today’s slave, he or she is still working hard for master in an air-conditioned environment, but when he or she comes home, they may not have a cooling system, let alone enough money to keep the electric bill current. So the next time you go into a black community, that you may have moved out of, keep in mind how it got that way, support your neighborhood’s businesses when you can, and thank God you are favored where you now live!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
What happened? “African Americans can’t take care of nothing,” some older blacks have said of their own race. “It’s so sad to think that this was a place that used to be so nice!” It seems not only did my childhood neighborhood go downhill since our people took over, but those in my family said the same thing about their childhood surroundings. “We use to have all sorts of businesses, clubs, and bars in our neighborhood – it was nice!” But not anymore, the pain of racism, drugs, violence, war, and other calamities have came into these communities by those “who never had nothing nice” as my grandmother once told me, “…and don’t want you to have anything nice either!”
So why do so many African Americans move into communities then sit back and allow them to fall apart? No one really knows how to answer this question without blaming someone. A problem solver, optimistic type will visit an African American community dropping off yet another program to get the unruly children, drug dealers, drunks, beggars, prostitutes, and pimps off the street and the neighborhood beautified. This creative thinker recruits a team of like-minded wishful thinkers and tells them to ask others in the neighborhood to help. Mind you, this help comes after many years of negative experiences occurring in the neighborhood. Unfortunately, the program doesn’t last for long before there’s a scandal, someone is assaulted or robbed. Then the enthusiasm in the community diminishes and finances are depleted. Meanwhile, the community is listening to the sounds of bass and gun fire at various times of the day and night. With decorations here and there of nice churches, expensive cars; name-brand jackets, overly priced shoes, purses, jewelry, and long rainbow colored hair while homes, yards, and streets are in disarray!
It’s evident that many African Americans are more concerned about the cars they drive, the attire they wear, and the unhealthy food they eat, but rarely take notice of more significant matters such as: the piping in their home that needs to be replaced, the roaches that hide between the crevices in their walls, the paint that seems to be peeling everywhere you look, the windows that need to be replaced from the 1950s, the wiring that is waiting to catch a fire, and various appliances that need attention. From the looks of things, many African Americans simply have their priorities in the wrong places!
Now if we are looking to blame someone or something, blame the slavery mentality that is very much with us! Slaves were more concerned about their master's buildings then their own and their master's fields and roadways. They were proactive when it came to telling master who stole the last piece of chicken or who was caught with master’s wife, and they at times would be willing to die for their masters. However, today’s slave, he or she is still working hard for master in an air-conditioned environment, but when he or she comes home, they may not have a cooling system, let alone enough money to keep the electric bill current. So the next time you go into a black community, that you may have moved out of, keep in mind how it got that way, support your neighborhood’s businesses when you can, and thank God you are favored where you now live!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Tuesday
Elderly Black Folks & the So-Called Good Ole Days
When the black elderly people speak of the “good ole days” they are smiling and laughing exchanging story after story between one another, but when the conversation changes to present day and someone mentions “the young people” there is an instant attitude. They start casting blame as if young people just suddenly appeared and started wrecking havoc. The older black Americans seem to disconnect themselves from the younger black Americans and will not take any responsibility for the contributions they made in the mass destruction of many African American communities that some of the young blacks are spray painting and hustling in now. They say, “Why should we? Young people don’t care about anything!” Who made them that way? Was it the father who ran off with another man’s wife while cheating on his own wife and eventually settled in a white neighborhood? Was it the mother who tried to keep two jobs while her son was being watched by God knows who? Was it the grandmother who enjoyed drinking more than spending time with her grandchildren? Was it the father who committed crimes and spent the majority of his life in and out of prison, because getting an education ‘wasn’t cool and the white man had his foot on his neck?’ ”
Were these once youthful men and women, who are now elderly, primarily responsible for not teaching their children and grandchildren how to care for and maintain their communities? When these people, who grew up during the “good ole days,” had opportunities to attend trade schools or colleges, did they do it? And if they did, why didn’t they stay true to their own communities rather than trying to integrate with other races in other communities? Why do they not accept responsibility for their lack of influence and education to teach the generation following them?
There is so much ignorance evident in these conversations of “the good ole days.” Take the time to listen to the elderly African American discussions regarding young people today. They complain about “how the parents just aren’t raising them.” They talk as if they have no impact or influence on their grandchildren. For those who can make a difference, they say, “I don’t want to be bothered…I’m too old.” The young people try to reach out and they are greeted with eye rolls, heavy sighs, and sometimes yelling, “Don’t touch my…stay off my…” Too busy worrying over material things rather than the souls of the young people in their families. For other elderly African Americans, they are all too willing to do what they can to help young people. Then of course, there are those who could care less and have nothing to say about any of these societal issues.
It’s because of these elderly black people who obsess with “the good ole days” is why they haven’t done much in the present day. They keep hoping for a train that stopped coming a long time ago. They keep wishing for the day “when we use to and we had to…”and while they’re hoping and praying, the young people are surrounding them like vultures waiting to pick them clean when they pass! For what good is it to be alive if these “good ole days” preachers are doing nothing more than complaining about the present day. They don’t bother teaching, they don’t want to listen, they think they know-it-all (just like the young people they claim they try to talk to), and even worse they hold on to their dollars for frivolous things (and talk about how young people don’t save any money – the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree! Now does it?)
To group every young person and their parents in one category is lazy thinking, ignorant and unfair. Some children grew up being whipped for their actions while others weren’t. In some cases punishment made a difference in their lives and in other cases it didn’t! Yet, try to convince your aging grandparent that your mother or father did the best they could with you. They will converse with you as if you don’t know what you are talking about and will ridicule your parents whether they were good or bad. They will almost brag about how hard they had it and how you don’t know any better. Attempt to challenge them on their ignorant statements and watch an ugly attitude appear on their faces, then they will grow angry, and will provide you with vague information about their past. There is a hidden jealousy amongst these old-timers when they look at their children and their children’s children. Some of these miserable old people can’t stand when you delve deeper into their history. You see, they are still running scared like their mothers and fathers who were born into slavery. They are afraid that if you learn too much about them you will judge them. They know that knowledge is power and they fear that a young person with that kind of power will disrespect them (unfortunately some will.)
Most of these older African Americans mentioned in this article are in their late
70s and older at the time of this writing. Their history is far different than those who will be following their age group. With each passing generation, life can only get better in health, business, lifestyle and more. Most of you who are 40 and younger haven’t experienced or witnessed the kind of racism that your parents or grandparents grew up with. So recent generations could actually have their share of many “good ole days” stories to tell, which would be far more interesting than the five mile walk to school tales.
Hopefully, the slavery mentality, slave diet, black racism, light skin/dark skin thinking, drunkenness, drugs, gambling, and cheating will be buried in record numbers with these “good ole days” thinkers. For we cannot afford to keep this negative, oppressive type of thinking amongst our people!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Were these once youthful men and women, who are now elderly, primarily responsible for not teaching their children and grandchildren how to care for and maintain their communities? When these people, who grew up during the “good ole days,” had opportunities to attend trade schools or colleges, did they do it? And if they did, why didn’t they stay true to their own communities rather than trying to integrate with other races in other communities? Why do they not accept responsibility for their lack of influence and education to teach the generation following them?
There is so much ignorance evident in these conversations of “the good ole days.” Take the time to listen to the elderly African American discussions regarding young people today. They complain about “how the parents just aren’t raising them.” They talk as if they have no impact or influence on their grandchildren. For those who can make a difference, they say, “I don’t want to be bothered…I’m too old.” The young people try to reach out and they are greeted with eye rolls, heavy sighs, and sometimes yelling, “Don’t touch my…stay off my…” Too busy worrying over material things rather than the souls of the young people in their families. For other elderly African Americans, they are all too willing to do what they can to help young people. Then of course, there are those who could care less and have nothing to say about any of these societal issues.
It’s because of these elderly black people who obsess with “the good ole days” is why they haven’t done much in the present day. They keep hoping for a train that stopped coming a long time ago. They keep wishing for the day “when we use to and we had to…”and while they’re hoping and praying, the young people are surrounding them like vultures waiting to pick them clean when they pass! For what good is it to be alive if these “good ole days” preachers are doing nothing more than complaining about the present day. They don’t bother teaching, they don’t want to listen, they think they know-it-all (just like the young people they claim they try to talk to), and even worse they hold on to their dollars for frivolous things (and talk about how young people don’t save any money – the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree! Now does it?)
To group every young person and their parents in one category is lazy thinking, ignorant and unfair. Some children grew up being whipped for their actions while others weren’t. In some cases punishment made a difference in their lives and in other cases it didn’t! Yet, try to convince your aging grandparent that your mother or father did the best they could with you. They will converse with you as if you don’t know what you are talking about and will ridicule your parents whether they were good or bad. They will almost brag about how hard they had it and how you don’t know any better. Attempt to challenge them on their ignorant statements and watch an ugly attitude appear on their faces, then they will grow angry, and will provide you with vague information about their past. There is a hidden jealousy amongst these old-timers when they look at their children and their children’s children. Some of these miserable old people can’t stand when you delve deeper into their history. You see, they are still running scared like their mothers and fathers who were born into slavery. They are afraid that if you learn too much about them you will judge them. They know that knowledge is power and they fear that a young person with that kind of power will disrespect them (unfortunately some will.)
Most of these older African Americans mentioned in this article are in their late
70s and older at the time of this writing. Their history is far different than those who will be following their age group. With each passing generation, life can only get better in health, business, lifestyle and more. Most of you who are 40 and younger haven’t experienced or witnessed the kind of racism that your parents or grandparents grew up with. So recent generations could actually have their share of many “good ole days” stories to tell, which would be far more interesting than the five mile walk to school tales.
Hopefully, the slavery mentality, slave diet, black racism, light skin/dark skin thinking, drunkenness, drugs, gambling, and cheating will be buried in record numbers with these “good ole days” thinkers. For we cannot afford to keep this negative, oppressive type of thinking amongst our people!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Wednesday
Are You Fake or Ghetto?
If I see another young ignorant black female look me up and down without me even opening my mouth up, I think I'll scream! What is wrong with these ghetto girls? Have they no class? Oh that's right we are living in an era where keeping it real is supposed to be cool, acting ghetto is hip and so forth. Anything outside of that is fake. Kind of funny when those who are supposed to be "keeping it real" wear fake hair, eyelashes, nails, gold, designer bags, and so on!
Let me share my story. I attended a house gathering. I was already seated at a table when she walked in, she saw me before her man did and there she was checking me out. I smiled, waved my hand, even said, "Hello." She barely said, "Hi." I knew right away, she wasn't my kind. That's right, I said it, "my kind," because my kind isn't going to suck teeth, roll eyes, and show her cards before she sits at the table!
You see, we all have cards we play whether literally or metaphorically speaking. The ones I'm speaking about are related to one's personality. The cards being the attitude, thoughts and behaviors. I use the example of a card game. There are the playing cards you try very hard to not allow anyone to see until you know you are ready to show them in the hopes of winning the game. Too many sistas show their hands (as well as everything else) all the while thinking "I'm cute" with no objective. One old fool told me years ago, during our first meeting, barely knowing me, "You are one of them that think your cute." I was floored, "What? You don't even know me I told her." She said, "That's what I thought before I got to know you. You alright, I guess." When I thought about her words while looking at the woman seated near me, I realized she showed the cards in her hand. A darker skin woman with a complex about lighter skin hues with long hair, I thought. Well, you know she quickly went on my list of those who just "ain't" my kind of people.
So back to the house gathering, on another occasion I spoke to another eye bouncing, insecure woman, who this time didn't have a man who she could worry about, and she too quickly looked to the left and then to the right and back again at me barely saying an audible, "Hi." She was a light hue like me, so I thought skin tone most likely isn't the issue she has with me, I wonder what's her story? So I sat back and watched her, because at some point I knew, she like the other insecure women I have encountered in the past, would play her hand too! So I spoke about an issue that was non-related to my observation (you see I'm not showing my hand) to a room full of women. I watched her reaction to me, she was shifting around looking as if she was trying real hard to ignore me. What I said was a noncontroversial thought directed at someone in the group, I wasn't long winded with what I said, I figured that the eye rolling woman was just doing what she does best being insecure, but then the thought came to me, she, being younger, probably thinks I talk white, is being fake, or some other ignorant thought young women think about when observing older women who look and speak better than them! It wasn't long before I noticed that she was "the type." The type who hadn't been around many women who spoke intelligently. I recognized that same reaction from other young women like her in the past. If these women knew any better they would know, there are experiences one has when he or she attends college that molds and shapes some more than others (ask President Barak Obama and his wife Michelle.) Most educated people have a demeanor that is very different than uneducated ones. It is often misconstrued for being fake or "acting white." I would say for some, whether educated in a college, trade school or self-educated, they aren't being fake, maybe out of touch even weird, but not fake! To be fake is to be something you are not, but when you are what you are you will walk it and talk it. A person with a higher education walks and talks differently than one who doesn't. Does it make them better than the next woman or man in personality or in spirit? No. But there is a good chance, that he or she will do better academically, but I digress.
So here I am with more life experiences to add to my School of Hard Knocks education. I have to defend myself from haters (a street term used to define people who are jealous of others.) I sometimes feel that I have to prove that I am not fake; however, I will not resort to acting ghetto to prove a point! Acting ghetto is like saying a bad word, it just comes out you don't have to work on it! There isn't much effort needed in that department for me!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Let me share my story. I attended a house gathering. I was already seated at a table when she walked in, she saw me before her man did and there she was checking me out. I smiled, waved my hand, even said, "Hello." She barely said, "Hi." I knew right away, she wasn't my kind. That's right, I said it, "my kind," because my kind isn't going to suck teeth, roll eyes, and show her cards before she sits at the table!
You see, we all have cards we play whether literally or metaphorically speaking. The ones I'm speaking about are related to one's personality. The cards being the attitude, thoughts and behaviors. I use the example of a card game. There are the playing cards you try very hard to not allow anyone to see until you know you are ready to show them in the hopes of winning the game. Too many sistas show their hands (as well as everything else) all the while thinking "I'm cute" with no objective. One old fool told me years ago, during our first meeting, barely knowing me, "You are one of them that think your cute." I was floored, "What? You don't even know me I told her." She said, "That's what I thought before I got to know you. You alright, I guess." When I thought about her words while looking at the woman seated near me, I realized she showed the cards in her hand. A darker skin woman with a complex about lighter skin hues with long hair, I thought. Well, you know she quickly went on my list of those who just "ain't" my kind of people.
So back to the house gathering, on another occasion I spoke to another eye bouncing, insecure woman, who this time didn't have a man who she could worry about, and she too quickly looked to the left and then to the right and back again at me barely saying an audible, "Hi." She was a light hue like me, so I thought skin tone most likely isn't the issue she has with me, I wonder what's her story? So I sat back and watched her, because at some point I knew, she like the other insecure women I have encountered in the past, would play her hand too! So I spoke about an issue that was non-related to my observation (you see I'm not showing my hand) to a room full of women. I watched her reaction to me, she was shifting around looking as if she was trying real hard to ignore me. What I said was a noncontroversial thought directed at someone in the group, I wasn't long winded with what I said, I figured that the eye rolling woman was just doing what she does best being insecure, but then the thought came to me, she, being younger, probably thinks I talk white, is being fake, or some other ignorant thought young women think about when observing older women who look and speak better than them! It wasn't long before I noticed that she was "the type." The type who hadn't been around many women who spoke intelligently. I recognized that same reaction from other young women like her in the past. If these women knew any better they would know, there are experiences one has when he or she attends college that molds and shapes some more than others (ask President Barak Obama and his wife Michelle.) Most educated people have a demeanor that is very different than uneducated ones. It is often misconstrued for being fake or "acting white." I would say for some, whether educated in a college, trade school or self-educated, they aren't being fake, maybe out of touch even weird, but not fake! To be fake is to be something you are not, but when you are what you are you will walk it and talk it. A person with a higher education walks and talks differently than one who doesn't. Does it make them better than the next woman or man in personality or in spirit? No. But there is a good chance, that he or she will do better academically, but I digress.
So here I am with more life experiences to add to my School of Hard Knocks education. I have to defend myself from haters (a street term used to define people who are jealous of others.) I sometimes feel that I have to prove that I am not fake; however, I will not resort to acting ghetto to prove a point! Acting ghetto is like saying a bad word, it just comes out you don't have to work on it! There isn't much effort needed in that department for me!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Is It A Fact That African American Men At More Risk From Prostate Cancer Than White Men?
Statistics show that African American men are at greater risk of dying from prostate cancer than white men and the majority of statisticians agree that the risk in the case of black men is approximately two and a half times that of white men. But, are these statistics misleading?
The answer might come from a study conducted not long ago in North Carolina. The study involved some 253 white men and 84 black men between the ages of 40 and 75 who were diagnosed with prostate cancer between 2001 and 2004.
The study examined a number of factors including employment, screening history, access to care, symptoms, the existence of other medical conditions, attitudes towards health care and health care providers, family history, treatment, income and whether or not the men had health insurance.
The study discovered that 55 percent of the black men earned under $40,000 annually in comparison to to 23 percent for white men. The study also showed that black men were more likely to be educated to a lower standard, to have a blue-collar job, to have co-existing medical problems and to be unemployed as a result of illness or disability.
In addition the study showed that just 3 percent of white men did not have medical insurance, in comparison to 8 percent of black men and that just over 30 percent of white men has some type of supplemental Medicare coverage, in comparison to 17 percent of black men.
One especially interesting finding was the fact that both groups were well informed about the risks of prostrate cancer and the requirement for treatment, although the black men accepted greater responsibility for their own health and were less likely to trust their doctors. In fact many of the black men said that they were mistrustful of their doctors and felt that any advice given was more likely to be influenced by the cost of treatment than patient needs.
On the important question of screening, black men were less likely to have regular check-ups, digital rectal examinations or prostate specific antigen (PSA) tests. It was also interesting to note that the study reported that black men were more than twice as likely to have to request a PSA test than white men.
The study makes it clear that there is a marked different between the two groups which lies in the lack of early detection in black men and that this arises to a large degree from the fact that they do not have established relationships with their doctors, have poor access to affordable and convenient care and do not carry adequate health insurance.
Obviously it is not easy to assign numbers to a study of this nature and further, and bigger, studies need to be conducted to quantify the differences between black men and white men. Nevertheless, it would seem that much of the difference does not stem from the fact that black men are more likely to develop prostate cancer but lies in the fact that they are more likely to die as a result of the disease because of its late detection.
If the gap between black men and white men in terms of the provision of healthcare were closed the figures could well look quite different.
By Donald Saunders
ProstateProblemCenter.com provides information on many aspects of prostate cancer including prostate cancer treatment and the therapeutic use of prostate milking
Friday
Is African American Mothers to Blame for Out of Control Men?
She did the best she could to raise her son without his father. You see, his dad and most of the young boys in the community, grew up without a father. When you spend some time interviewing mothers like her, she will tell you that her child's father was no good! He would cheat on her, sell drugs, drink too much, run with his friends, etc. You may feel for our sister and tell her how great she was for raising this child, but there is something you may not have thought about...why would she select a man like that anyway? Oh she may tell you, "He wasn't like that when we first started dating." He may not have been as bad, but certainly there were some signs to suggest she would eventually have a real problem on her hand. Now if she chose to ignore the signs, she not only put herself at risk to be hurt emotionally and/or physically, but her child was put at risk before he even got here!
So now this innocent child who came from a seed who didn't want him, or wanted him but chose not to raise him, is suceptible to all sorts of problems as a man and when he gets in trouble no one wants to take responsibility (noticed I didn't say "take the blame.") The truth of the matter is once the damage is done, the blame game does nothing more than name a person, it doesn't put his mother in prison, it doesn't make her pay monetarily, and it doesn't heal anyone. So can you blame her? Some will say, "Blame the daddy, he wasn't there!" His absence may have impacted or increased the chances for his child to do wrong, but when it all comes down to it, the child/man is responsible!
It's so easy to blame the mother for her out of control son, the woman for the mate she chose, the girl for being abused and misused, the ignorant for not getting a good education, the family for everything that is wrong with America! But when will society wake up and realize that pointing the finger is not going to make an out of control boy or man, become better! Tearing down a family, a career, and a life is not going to help matters!
Lazy, critical, racist, and foolish people will say that "if it wasn't for...they all are alike...that's why we can't get...that's why they won't..." and other statements like these, because they aren't intelligent enough to come up with a solution. So what is the answer when a young man becomes out of control? Where does he get help? What do we look for in childhood, to not only determine which category he should be placed in, but what should he and us be doing to help him while he is still young, and where do we get the money to pay for the top of the line care? See, there are plenty of resources, but money ultimately determines who gets the best care. So if you don't have the income, nor can you travel to the best resources, you are stuck with whatever the free program around the corner can give you!
You see, there is a lot of talk in the African American community about the almighty butt whippin', but what isn't being said is "what do I do when the butt whippin is ineffective?" It may have worked for you, but there is a new generation of children that isn't even a little bit fazed by the mighty butt whippin'. Some children are retarded, hyperactive, disabled, and other similar things, how does a butt whippin' get through to a child who goes from one mood swing to the next? It may work temporarily on him or it may never work! Now you have a bitter, angry, and resentful young man who can't wait to hold a gun in his hands! It's unfortunate, but many parents from the ghetto in New Orleans to the mansion in Beverly Hills, don't know how to balance punishment with love! Lots of hitting and sassy talking, but not enough hand holding and walking!
So I close with this, it's time that society get it right! Put a halt on passing judgment on these young boys and men who entertain us, work for us, help us, and love us! It isn't just about his momma, wife, or girlfriend, when he gets in trouble! It's about the choices he chose to make (good, bad or otherwise) and when he makes the wrong choice, which one of us will step up to the plate, not talk about him, give a brotha a hand, not slap him!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
So now this innocent child who came from a seed who didn't want him, or wanted him but chose not to raise him, is suceptible to all sorts of problems as a man and when he gets in trouble no one wants to take responsibility (noticed I didn't say "take the blame.") The truth of the matter is once the damage is done, the blame game does nothing more than name a person, it doesn't put his mother in prison, it doesn't make her pay monetarily, and it doesn't heal anyone. So can you blame her? Some will say, "Blame the daddy, he wasn't there!" His absence may have impacted or increased the chances for his child to do wrong, but when it all comes down to it, the child/man is responsible!
It's so easy to blame the mother for her out of control son, the woman for the mate she chose, the girl for being abused and misused, the ignorant for not getting a good education, the family for everything that is wrong with America! But when will society wake up and realize that pointing the finger is not going to make an out of control boy or man, become better! Tearing down a family, a career, and a life is not going to help matters!
Lazy, critical, racist, and foolish people will say that "if it wasn't for...they all are alike...that's why we can't get...that's why they won't..." and other statements like these, because they aren't intelligent enough to come up with a solution. So what is the answer when a young man becomes out of control? Where does he get help? What do we look for in childhood, to not only determine which category he should be placed in, but what should he and us be doing to help him while he is still young, and where do we get the money to pay for the top of the line care? See, there are plenty of resources, but money ultimately determines who gets the best care. So if you don't have the income, nor can you travel to the best resources, you are stuck with whatever the free program around the corner can give you!
You see, there is a lot of talk in the African American community about the almighty butt whippin', but what isn't being said is "what do I do when the butt whippin is ineffective?" It may have worked for you, but there is a new generation of children that isn't even a little bit fazed by the mighty butt whippin'. Some children are retarded, hyperactive, disabled, and other similar things, how does a butt whippin' get through to a child who goes from one mood swing to the next? It may work temporarily on him or it may never work! Now you have a bitter, angry, and resentful young man who can't wait to hold a gun in his hands! It's unfortunate, but many parents from the ghetto in New Orleans to the mansion in Beverly Hills, don't know how to balance punishment with love! Lots of hitting and sassy talking, but not enough hand holding and walking!
So I close with this, it's time that society get it right! Put a halt on passing judgment on these young boys and men who entertain us, work for us, help us, and love us! It isn't just about his momma, wife, or girlfriend, when he gets in trouble! It's about the choices he chose to make (good, bad or otherwise) and when he makes the wrong choice, which one of us will step up to the plate, not talk about him, give a brotha a hand, not slap him!
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.
