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Thursday

Happy Father's Day - For the Man who Enjoys Being a Dad

We salute or pat the men on the back who genuinely put their time, energy and money into building their families up not breaking them down due to unmet selfish needs.  As for the men who are all lip service whether to us or others this upcoming holiday, we have nothing to say to them or about them, all is quiet--God sets things up that way.  Sure, the reprobate, apostate, backsliders, and downright evil men will tell you people on and offline nice statements about their families on their social media accounts or at workplaces, but we either know our relatives quite well or live with them.
 
These kinfolk as well as "baby daddies" have lied, cheated, stole, acted disrespectful to the ones who bore them children and more.  They may act kind to the children when they are "in the mood" just so long as handing money or a toy doesn't inconvenience them.  But let that child whine, complain, or ask for more...and oh boy!  All hell is going to break lose.  "Did you put that child up to asking me for that?  I ain't got no more money for ya'll!  Stop asking me!  You got a job, use your d@mn money!  I don't play...Don't you know how to do that, why you asking me go ask your Mama!"  the insulted and impatient fathers say.

Yet, the father, the one who makes sacrifices for his--the one who shows the children how much he loves mom too, he is to be commended!  There is no blame, shame, or having to tame him, he knows what to do to make his family happy.  He works, pays bills, sits down with his family to a periodic meal or daily, he attends worship service or prays with family at home, a generous and kind man, it isn't any wonder he is most wanted.

I don't know about you but I am not dispensing Happy Father's Day to just anyone.  I am not going to hide, lie and cover up truth either.  Every year on and offline there is always someone or a group that sings praises to men in and out of churches who don't have a clue what is really going on with them when it comes to marriage and family and the same thing occurs around Mother's Day too. 

Some secretly angry or bitter men and women resent their life choices.  They consider anything that takes away from their fun, quiet time, or money a burden.  Rather than be faithful to a partner and train up a child, they treat that a partner and a child like toys.  They pay attention to them when they "feel" like playing with them whether morally or immorally while looking for selfish benefits.

Fathers, who never wanted to be fathers, hide their resentful emotions by projecting their frustrations on to the mothers in or out of their lives even when the door has been left wide open for them to walk right out and never come back.  They use partners and children for photo opps, extra income, fodder around the water cooler at work, and for the narcissists and psychopaths' supply emotionally, physically or otherwise.  Sometimes the children are used as tools to lure new partners until they are no longer needed.  Children are "good workers" and "make me proud" to doting parents who are more concerned about how they look rather than contributions made in the lives of their families.  But when kids are older, more discerning and cost more while no longer feeding these fathers' and stepfathers' egos they are criticized, written out of wills, and banned from coming around the family.  The son is no good, the daughter is full of sh*t, and the grandchildren are "good for nothing."  And God sees and hears all.

One day a father will have to give account to his Creator for all those hours he sat watching strangers play sports on entertainment devices rather than get out with his children and show them how to play.  He will have to tell of times he could have given more to the family he lives with or created, but held back so that lovers, parents, siblings, extended relatives, exes and others could benefit while feeding his ego with, "You are such a good son...You are the best brother...Thank you so much Uncle!"  Meanwhile, his children and grandchildren are still struggling, asking people outside the family for hand-outs, or forced to sign up for government programs due to his frugality or lack.  He will have to explain why he was so hateful toward his children's mom or mothers and why he did everything to avoid paying child support.  He will have to come clean before the Lord confessing why he didn't listen to truth.

So why esteem those who are undeserving of such a holiday?  Is it because you desire to feel good by making someone else feel good--wouldn't it be better to expose men on their evil ways and be blessed by the great I AM?  Why call something or someone "good" when it is evident he or it is evil?  Why tell lies and exaggerations to puff up the pride of children of darkness who say and do despicable things behind the backs of grandmothers, mothers and children?  Why?  Does one's dysfunctional programming passed down from generations call master good when he is indeed bad for fear of the repercussions for speaking up, breaking up, and moving away?  Happy Father's Day means what really?  What about your Father in heaven, doesn't he deserve the honor first and foremost?

Just because a man brings a child into this world and provides for basic needs or not doesn't make him anything more than just a man.  But a father walks in the shadow of his Almighty Father and dispenses the kind of love, patience and compassion on to his family that others can learn from and mimic. 

Say Happy Father's Day to the men who love and appreciate their families.  Examine the fruit on the trees of others and bless those who have demonstrated what it truly means to be a father beyond material wealth and money.

Blessings to the righteous fathers who are fighting the good fight--loving and appreciating wives and children.  Keep doing what you are doing!

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Say Goodbye to Dad


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