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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Monday

Don't Underestimate That Ghetto Family Member or Friend

The college experience was something I was proud of as a late teen (1992) through my young twenty-something years. It opened up mental and physical doors that I would have never imagined! However, as I grew older, I began to think those same doors could have been opened at least expensive places, so I gave up my idea of being a career college student back in 1997. But like so many career-minded people, I realized I was brainwashed into forking over borrowed money; meanwhile, with broke relatives and friends in my ears cheering me on with empty hands!

Anyway, upon reflecting on my past college experience, I remember returning home between semesters for a visit and my grandmother saying, "You talk funny." I didn't know what she meant at first. I mean as far as I was concerned I was still same old me just a tad bit older. But then I started paying attention to other blacks, like myself, who spent the majority of time being in predominately white classrooms, participating in white-dominated extracurricular activities and social events and then that's when I realized what she was suggesting. The age old, "You act white!" is what she really meant.

Of course I would be influenced by the white populace! I went to their schools, wore their style clothes, and ate their less than seasoned meals. I couldn't help what I had become, it was all around me! Coming back home, exposed me to all sorts of ignorance. At times it angered me. There was a time and place for everything and it seemed that I was forced to take off my white persona and "act black." So sad, but true!

It seemed that the more time I spent in college, the more I resented some of my very ignorant relatives and friends. I began to distance myself from them. "What could I learn from poor black folks with no education anyway?" I told myself. There was all sorts of weird and confusing philosophies, opinions, and religious views given to me during my upbringing I began to question especially when a white person would ask me, "Where did you get that idea from?" First it was the superstitious behavior I had been pre-conditioned with, "Don't put your purse on the floor that's bad luck! You will stay broke that way. Don't split the pole! Spit on the broom you swept my foot! You know what that means if you break a mirror!" If all these statements were so true then I must have a lot of wealthy, good luck charms for relatives with great lives, right? Wrong! Secondly, there was the "God don't like ugly," statements. Then there was the "name it and claim it" gospel. Well if God don't like ugly there was a lot of it both inside and out. Why didn't the so-called wise elders practice their own gospel? Besides, if everything I spoke to their genie gods, I should have got, then why am I still in so much debt in 2010? I learned later in life about the one true God. Lastly, I had grown weary of my folks saying things like, "When I hit the lottery I will give you somethin'." A few times that happened, but it wasn't enough to do much of anything. What was wrong with"flipping," investing or saving money?

Someone who never attended college always had some negative commentary about someone who did. "You don't need a college education to know that..." they would say. Attempting to insult one's common sense. "I could pick up a book and read it myself. I don't need to go to school for four years to know that!" Oh the sounds of jealousy would permeate my ears. But through it all, I learned a thing or two from some of my ghetto folks.

I learned that some missed their callings to be psychologists, lawyers, entrepreneurs, bankers, and CEOs. At the bottom of the melting pot of ignorance were smart people who lacked the discipline to achieve. Rather, they enjoyed drugs, sex, and partying far too much than education. Anyone who aspired to be something better than average was mocked in my part of town. My ghetto card was long revoked by family and friends who would whisper, "She's weird." They didn't understand that there was more to life than working in the rat race and watching TV. They were too fearful of change!

Since those college years, I became an observer; rather than a participant in the ghetto lifestyle. I had my share during childhood between suckin' teeth when adults asked you a question to cracking gum. When I became older and disgruntled with the smooth talk and deceitful ways of the ghetto, I told myself, "these people are going to line my pockets with cash since they always want to borrow or take something from me." I would use what I learned from them, put an educational spin on it and make it work for me as an author, poet, sales person, etc. I saw far too many times "the ghetto" eat up the naive, generous and intelligent folks (black, white and otherwise) and spit them out! "There had to be a way to balance the white man's education with the ignorance of a black society," I thought. That is until I realized the power of the one true God is far greater than any education man could provide! Hence, this blog was born, my books: When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and over 500 articles throughout various websites and still counting. The ghetto is full of life lessons -- parables and proverbs.

Black ignorance complete with the gossip, slang, sassy head movements, loud laughing, and eye-ballin' are all signs of the darkness within! The feeling of being unsatisfied with one's life, but too lost and confused to do anything about it has sent some black folks to their graves or put others in the graves with them. There is an anger of being overlooked, suppressed, and told that one isn't good enough which comes out in the cussing and fighting that you either witness or hear about in the ghetto. So when you show up with a little somethin' somethin' in the ghetto, there is always someone who wants to call you back home or in other words call you out on your realness. "Keep it real! You keepin' it real? You a fake!"

It's hard to be happy for others when you aren't happy with yourself. It is a challenge to uplift your fellow man when you are down yourself! So when it comes to dealing with those ghetto relatives who rub you the wrong way, I say rather than cuss them out, learn from them. Pay attention to their tactics to brainwash, manipulate and scheme to get you to do what they want when they want. Create a plan before you are in the line of fire to protect yourself spiritually, mentally and physically. Learn how they work "the system" and avoid getting caught up in their conniving ways! Study them like an algebra test, know how they make math work for them. They are skilled people in their crafts. We all should know, because many of us were either exposed to them or are still very much ghetto!

Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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