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Wednesday

Ignoring Behavior Among African Americans

Have you ever been around an unfamiliar group or an individual of your ethnicity only to be treated like an insect they are trying to avoid?  Well this tends to happen with some African Americans for some disturbing reasons that might be tied to the self-hate epidemic we have been reading and talking about in recent years.  Not all our people are the same nor do they have their minds intact as we all know.

Not that long ago, I noticed an older African American woman in a predominately white setting trying to avoid eye contact with me.  It was strange since I repeatedly saw her around and still the same.  I was new to the group and took it upon myself to walk over and speak to her as well as others.  She was unfortunately not as pleasant as the others, so I assumed it was because I didn't catch on to her name after she mentioned it twice, but oh well.  All smiles and continued to talk with the group.  But on other occasions I noticed still the avoidance, looking away, down and around.  I was dressed conservatively and didn't spend time in groups gossiping, but I noticed she did.  

Then there was another setting I recall where I was told by a worker that she didn't go over and talk to another African American in the same group, to that I asked, "Why?"  She said it was understood by the pair in advance (they had talked out of view before the meeting), that they "didn't want the white people to think anything."  Huh?  What year are we in?

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  The slave mentality of not talking while master is around is still being passed down generation after generation.  The funny thing about that concept is the one who is being told to "be quiet" and "act like you don't know me" is usually the one who just might throw you under the bus too!

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So sometimes the ignoring behavior is done on purpose and understood, but to the younger populace not so much.  Why go out of your way to ignore someone who you just might have something in common with regardless of their skin tone, background, or personal beliefs?  I believe the ignoring behaviors are done at times because blacks think the worse of one another and other times it is strategically done for reasons that only those who are doing it know.

Every now and again the ignoring mannerisms I think is due to some of our people falsely assume that "you must be like..." whoever or whatever, because of your accent, appearance, or mannerisms and so they shy away.  However, I have been pleasantly surprised over the years to meet people who I thought were one way only to found out something totally different once I talked to them.

What about when you are in a store, traveling, or a part of a group related to your child's school and there are possibly other black people around, is there any effort made to speak to the black newcomer?  How about when there is a discussion taking place between a black and a non-black, do you feel comfortable interrupting or is there a silent code or a look given that says, "Don't come over here.  This white person has already reached her quota of black friends and you can't be one of them."--lol

The false assumptions and ignoring behaviors are in one word "ridiculous" among our kin.  

Nicholl McGuire author of Too Much Too Soon Internet Dating Blues. 
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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