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Saturday

Negative, Broke People will Recruit Negative, Broke People

I know so many blacks who hate it when their own people (aunts, cousins, nieces, daughters, sons, etc.) do well in life!  For years, they had secretly or openly wished evil on others and now they can't even smile right when something good happens to their own bloodline.  I realized just what was keeping the haters hatin' and not prayin' and that was they refused to think positively, they didn't want to change the way they thought about this one and that one!  Sad, but true.  They rather work hard to be negative and focus on what So and So has; rather than try to fulfill their own dreams.  It was far easier for some of these people to sit back and run their mouths, then get off the couch and lose weight that they had been saying they were going to lose, fix up their homes, change jobs, stay out of jail, stop lying and cheating, and a whole host of other things!

It seems simple, right?  Just start thinking positive and your life will surely change.  It is that simple! However, the more a person holds on to the same broke, negative people around him or her just because they are familiar, have titles, did one or two favors from way back in the day, they permit these people to keep feeding them a toxic diet of negativity!  It isn't any wonder that people remain where they live, do what they do, and never fully enjoy life.  "Well, I like my life, I don't bother nobody.  I think its crazy to be going off with some white folks somewhere...what kind of mess are you getting into now?  You going to keep messing around doing all of what you are doing and they going to get you..."  Oh yes, that is what negativity sounds like and then some wonder why are our people getting hooked up with everyone, but their own race?  I will tell you because there is a breed of people within the black community that isn't limited by skin color, ignorance, gender, an impoverished mentality, old wise tales, stereotypes, and twisted ideologies designed to keep them oppressed.  Intelligent people seek truth outside a box of skin tones, regular church attendance, over-priced education, and immature, unwise relatives.  There are smart blacks that can be trusted and you don't have to take the white man's word for it!

For instance, think of those individuals who left the hood and left everyone behind in the dust and went on and became successes in life and I'm not just talking about fame, power, and money either.  I am talking about individuals who live in contentment and their exterior proves it!  Mind, body and spirit reflects success--the kind you can't put a price tag on or check online to see if they have a bunch of "likes."  

Why didn't the most successful in your family come back to your holiday celebrations, funerals, or visit grandma in the hood?  Because they remembered the last time--they recalled the negative vibe.  The successful didn't want to come back to a majority of unwilling, negative people who refuse to work/pray/build/grow or do anything else for self or others!  You know the type, "I don't speak to him...I don't deal with her...he did me wrong he didn't come to my son's game...I needed some money and bruh gave me an empty card, he should have helped me, all I did for him...I don't understand why people don't come and see me!" 

Successful people have learned that where they are being physically, mentally and spiritually fed the most, they can see the fruits of their service and money, these people are going to stay, they don't come back to lack!  An ex doesn't come back to cursing and cheating when she is doing well in her personal life.  A daughter doesn't bother with parents who often badmouth.  A son will forget his mother exists if she keeps berating him.  An employee isn't going back to a place he doesn't feel he is appreciated.  So why would you expect someone to come back just because of one thing or another--the kind of things that don't help people come up higher!  Having the same name, a title, or even a brotherhood or sisterhood association doesn't make anyone special in the eyes of a person who is focused on getting ahead-- so what?  How long does someone have to wait to get some help when he or she has a family in need? Energy sappers know how to take and take until they kill their loved ones.  How much time and money does one has to invest in a loveless relationship, weak business, or tired friendship before one day throwing up his or her hands and saying, "I give up!  You just aren't going to change, are you?  You are bringing me down with all your negative talk!"

No amount of guilt-tripping, story-telling, hoping, wishing, praying, or anything else is going to call the successful back when they are at the top of their games!  If anything, content people who care about you are going to try to get you in on their success--that is if you show any interest or they notice that you are one of those people who is making some effort to change your mindset--grow independently from the family's views.  However, the minute a focused person hears, "I can't...I don't know...I don't think...what about..." statements come out of your mouth, they leave you alone.  They stop calling, texting, emailing, or visiting broke folks--I kid you not!

Every person that I have met this past summer in various circles where they were either starting a project, joining others to complete a project, or were currently marketing existing projects, they had no time for broke, negative people and it didn't matter what civic group they belonged to, who they knew, and if they were family, "No time."  I had one tell me, "Don't even give my phone number out to relatives--I don't deal with them!"  Unless someone was genuinely interested in assisting these hardworkers out in some way, they had no time to take anyone by the hand and show them anything!  Either you observed what you could over their shoulders, caught them when they weren't on fire with their own projects, or sat with them at a related business event, "...they couldn't talk, had to go, got things to do, but love you!"

Of course, mean-spirited people would complain, "Oh, so you can't call me back...I don't understand why our people is always...I mean why can't they reach back and help...Just going to forget about us...!"  Yes, that is what I heard the haters say about the star players seated outside of their circles.  And I will tell you that when you shake those negative voices and stop holding yourself back from moving to a different state, getting a better job, building a business, learning new things, visiting new places, trying new foods, marrying someone you truly love, having a baby, or whatever else you want to do, people will just look at you while trying real hard to find fault with you.  Even the talented children caught some of the evil-speaking, staring or the silent treatment too, because So and So's child wasn't a part of this or that, did one take up time with their children so that they can do well?  Haters even blocked their own children from being a part of quality programs and experiences, because they couldn't stand the fact that someone they didn't like was involved, they didn't have the money, they didn't want to shuttle their children around...they had things to do!  Haters who refused to do nothing more than act below average and recruit their innocent children to act the same.

The same people who might have told you, "I know you are going to be someone in this world!  I believe in you!" are also the same people who broke you down and even attempted to recruit you to be as broke and negative as them!

If you have been struggling for days, weeks, months, even years trying to make something happen in your life, don't worry anymore!  Get yourself around people who can help you, fill your mind up with, "I can do, I will do...I will be the head and not the tail!  And I don't need my own people to validate me either!"

Until a man, woman or child makes up in his or her mind to stop thinking negatively and focusing his or her attention on "What might happen, what could be, what if, what they think," he or she will be left behind by those people who move far away and say, "It's my time to shine!"  Is it really?  "Yes, it is!"

Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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