But for many couples the distractions of celebrity movies, mayhem, music, sporting events and more is taking what little free time one has during the day away from what really matters and that is family. Starting with the couple who sits apart from one another to watch yet again a movie he or she has seen before. Whether this couple hopes to stir up romantic feelings, relax, or to escape problems of the day via the entertainment they are watching, what their minds might take in maybe anything from thoughts of cheating to acts of violence. As much as one might deny celebrities’ impact on the masses, it is there! People are just that weak-minded to wish, hope, pray, and worry about their relationships based on what they have seen, heard, or read about as a result of what a celebrity is doing or saying. The subconscious mind embraces the story that he or she witnesses and processes it so that it is acceptable to one’s situation. A husband is acting distant, a viewer will relate to a story about a cheating spouse, even if the one he or she is with is not cheating, but personal feelings of inadequacy, rejection and more will be drawn out of the one watching the movie play out.
Think of a time when you couldn’t sleep, so you go to your computer. The thought doesn’t cross your mind to go to your partner for a little conversation and love-making because he or she might be sleep or busy with activities. So you let the Internet bring some calm to a nagging feeling of wanting to be physically intimate. You sit in front of the computer screen and listen to your favorite musician croon or a beloved actress love-make in a movie. A singer and his or her music video of semi–nude dancers is also entertaining. Everyone is beautiful to view. The story theme seems interesting too. One music video goes off then another comes on and before yo know it, most of the night has passed by. You go to your room only to pick up a music player to help lull you to sleep.
After a long night of star gazing, you awake tired and irritable. Songs play in your head throughout the day. You have a headache and a heartache because movies and songs have triggered emotions within that you rather not face regarding a partner.
Some celebrity fans are carrying around their idols in their minds and actions! Many are guilty of bringing so-called harmless fantasies to be with them. They envision what a future might look like being married to celebrities, having sex, or traveling with them.
Beautiful people, songs, and scenery lure us away from ugly realities. We allow television, music lyrics, and others’ reactions to influence our views on love, marriage, sex, communication, money, and more. We think that our thoughts are our own, but are they?
Listen to the latest R&B, pop, or country song long enough and you will begin to think things about your relationship you may have never thought about. “I wonder if my man is doing the same thing? If I ever catch him doing something, I will…She has been talking to my boy a lot lately…I wonder what she sees in me?” We allow negative thoughts to take center stage in our lives just by listening to far too much negative lyrical content. We allowed someone access to our minds. Would they be shocked at how much celebrity influence affects our daily decision-making?
Now some of us are just not that shallow minded to allow a stranger to have that kind of hold on our minds, or are we? Think back to those moments when you were a teen listening to music. Remember those images of entertainers you may have hung on you bedroom wall or kept in a scrapbook? Did you keep a extensive music collection of your favorite entertainers? How might your favorite singers, impacted your memories? If you say, “They didn’t have no bearing on my life decisions.” I would have to challenge you to pull out those oldies and play them. Almost immediately, you will be taken back to a past memory. While the music played you may have said or did something that indirectly connected your feelings to a song. The music triggers past emotions that stick with us for a lifetime; therefore, the music influences us to some degree.
We connect entertainers to our lives. Some of us do it subtly, others are quite bold about it. They may dress a certain way, choose a make-up, or perfume because an entertainer marketed it. Somehow the mind reasons, “This will make my man look twice…this will get her in the mood.” There is nothing wrong with bettering yourself as a result of what a favorite celebrity tells you, but there is a problem when we allow that celebrity to get in our minds, in our hearts and eventually in the bed with us. Once we do that, we send mixed messages to our partners. Today, we are feeling and looking sexy like a model on the cover of a magazine, tomorrow we are torn between loves like an actress in a drama and by the end of the week we are holding hands and kissing our partner like characters in a favorite romantic comedy. It’s a roller coaster ride of emotions isn’t it? Too much star gazing will do just that!
Nicholl McGuire, author, blogger, speaker and Internet content producer. Her latest self-published poetry book is here.
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