Over the years I have heard white people describe blacks as being sensitive. I have been approached by whites asking me why are blacks so sensitive as if I am the ambassador for why some black women cop attitudes, and black men threaten to kill someone for calling them a n*gger! I can't speak for all blacks, nor do I want to but I will say in my experience having to deal with some of my fellow sisters and brothas personally and professionally there is an "attitude."
Now I am not saying that white people don't have their share of attitudes, because I have had to deal with that too, but this site is about African American issues so I will stick with what I know that I know. You see at times, blacks don't know how to have an attitude with a grin. They don't know how to type a professional letter loaded with sugar asking for what they want. Some are all too ready to jump in someone's face or type a quick insulting email; rather than take care of business. Meanwhile, they still hope to get the results they are seeking, even after they are exposed for their ignorance, written up on their job, or some other negative problem befalls them. Why would anyone want to do business with foolishness? When things don't go their way, they resort to "the blame everyone else" mentality. "It's just the devil getting in the way of my plans...I know it's because of the color of my skin...She's jealous...He never did like me," even if there was some truth to that argument, who is really to blame? In other words, could it have been your attitude, the lack of detail in your response, the fact that you are not on their level mentally, or something else? Here's another popular quote I hear when people use "the blame everyone else" mentality, "I wouldn't be acting like this...if it wasn't for him/her." Really?! You sure about that, I can almost bet a person with this kind of mentality lives in a house where people say, "You always want to be right, don't you? Why am I always to blame? Why don't you apologize sometimes for what you do wrong?"
What is it about asking blacks in leadership questions or holding blacks accountable in business that some have to resort to an "attitude?" For example, I wanted to know where my money was going if I donated to a certain event after receiving an email asking me for money, what would be expected of me since they needed volunteers, who would be handling my money, etc. The response I received was shocking, I guess it was because I chose to share public information which included the responders very public attitude (I guess she didn't think I would expose her like I did.) Well of course, she would accuse me of being negative, jealous, attack her, etc. I guess in her haste to ask people for money, she forgot that some people would question her and this "we" group she often referred to.
Some blacks choose to tell the end of the story when they are selling you on their ideas, rather than sharing the details of the business plan that is going to get you there. Let me provide you with a few examples. I remember one day I was walking toward a grocery store and an African American man started running his mouth about collecting money for a charity and how great it was for the children. He never said the name of the charity and never bothered to hand me information about it. All he had in his hands was some candy and some droplets of spit coming from a fast moving tongue. So I am supposed to be gullible enough to hand him some of my hard-earned money toward something I know nothing about. Here's another example. For years I have heard brothers tell me they were working in the studio and they would be "dropping an album," well it sounds good what they are telling me. Sometimes the album makes it to the store, but most often it doesn't. Along the way, someone has forgotten about the marketing plan. Yet, I am expected to give money just because. Listen, whether it is $5 or $30,000, like the rapper 50cent told his contestants on his past reality show, "I need to know what you are going to do with my money!" It's funny some blacks won't hesitate to give the white man a neatly, organized, business plan and a well-thought out answer when asked, but us, we get vague details, unanswered questions, disrespect, but you want someone's time, talents, money, etc. As my mother says, "N*gga please!"
So now you have called this unprofessional, disorganized African American out on their bs (while your friends say, "well the brotha or sista is trying," but your friends aren't investing too much of anything while their talking though.) So what do unprofessional, disorganized, highly sensitive black people do? They resort to the race card, name-call, make false accusations like calling other blacks sell outs (I wonder how many blacks accused President Barack Obama of that before he came to office), jealous, or some other put down. They rally up some supporters who agree with them, at least to their face, that you are a troublemaker, negative, etc. Then there is always one or two ignorant blacks or those with a special interest in mind (usually having something to do with money), come into the dispute as false peacemakers. "Why can't everyone get along!" Oblivious to the negative spin attempted to quiet you for sounding the alarm or making them work, the ignorant black will say, "Yeah why are you being petty? Why you troublemaking?" I can't help but think is that how our ancestors were treated when they opened their mouths and questioned authority? I could hear the cowardly negroes say, "Now just be quiet. We eating real good. Don't make masta' beat us! With all your trouble-making...Shhh!" Go along just to get along!
I was encouraged to write about this topic after seeing enough examples around me of blacks wanting to do business without a license, collect donations for causes without details, name drop without wisdom, market their social networking pages without a plan (like requesting friendship without introducing themselves,) and so on. Why should anyone offer a service, money, time, eyes, contacts, friendship or anything else when the writing is on the wall, "Be discerning when allowing this person into your life." So I call people out, more specifically the African American populace, I admit it, because I am in the process of selecting who I want to take with me on my ride of life. My days are numbered just like yours.
Like President Barack Obama stated in past speeches, "Change begins with you." Obama didn't get to where he is in life simply by going along to get along especially when people are doing things that they may have never been questioned about before (ie. wasteful spending.) I'm not interested in favor with everyone. If the truth is going to hurt someone while provoking change well I'm all for it. I come from a long line of strict teachers and I can't help but treat others like I have been treated and hold people accountable. I thank God for the School of Hard Knox!
Some of these disgruntled, stressed out black folks need to avoid getting a job in customer service, seriously! I'm tired of seeing the frown and the crinkle in someone's forehead while they are looking a customer up and down behind their back. I know you saw or met these people I'm describing somewhere and they act as if they are the nicest people to your face until there is a problem then their whole facial expression changes, the body language becomes defensive, "What ya asking me for? That's not how we do it. Save your questions for after the meeting!" The movies aren't that far off from the truth. We see the same character played over and over again. He or she is usually working behind a fast food counter or talking over the phone, cussing, fussing, gossiping, name-calling, you name it, all because of one thing, he or she can't handle the truth!
So the next time you have to deal with a stubborn, neck-rolling, eye-popping, finger snapping, bossy, highly sensitive woman or man (or shall I say girl or boy), make them accountable. Loose lips, do sink ships! Sometimes our people just want the title in front of their name, but forget what they will have to endure to earn the title.
Written by Nicholl McGuire
http://nichollmcguire.blogspot.com
Media from an African American perspective that isn't always politically correct, entertaining or encouraging. This African American blog shares black opinion on a variety of black issues from relationships to spirituality. Insightful advice for African Americans, commentaries, and lifestyle tips. Resources on black dating, black haircare, black families, black entertainment--if you love black, then you will love this African American blog. Check out unsung African American YouTubers.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.
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