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Monday

On Acting "Sometimey"

Some of you reading this, knew right away what I meant when I titled this blog entry, "On Acting Sometimey"  there is no wrong way to spell this word, because quite frankly it doesn't exist unless you are in certain black circles.  But acting "sometimey" is used as an action verb or noun in some black communities which basically means, "to act in inconsistent ways; to behave differently from one day to the next; to be an inconsistent person..." so I have learned growing up around older blacks. 

In some circles, to act "sometimey" is considered a negative action.  You will hear this word used amongst those who think they are often consistent in the way they react to others  like saying "Hi," for instance, to fellow blacks they come in contact with on a regular basis.  When used in a sentence one from the ghetto would say, "Girl, she be acting so sometimey! She speaks when she wants to.  Sometimes she don't speak at all!"  Despite this "sometimey" behavior, the one being criticized may still be considered a good friend or someone that is loved by others.  However, "sometimey" might be frowned upon by others; therefore, some blacks may pass the "sometimey" individual over for someone who is acting more consistent in her ways.

I personally embraced both the "sometimey" and the not so sometimey in my circles, because I know at times I have been considered both.  You see, a person usually has a good reason why sometimes they may say, "Hi," have lunch with someone, call or text them and sometimes they don't, it doesn't mean that they are "sometimey"--at least not in a negative sense like some ignorant blacks would have you to believe.  A person doesn't just start acting sometimey, they have been this way for some time.  Maybe they have had a bad experience with a certain person in the group, a hard day, or simply don't feel good and have chosen not to speak to blacks, whites or others.  But whatever the reason, they have a right to act in any way they please, just like someone has the freedom to say what they want about the person.

I think, as black people, we can often paint people in a box just because we don't bother thinking outside of the box.  If grandma and 'em said so and so is "sometimey" then by default you think they are.  Meanwhile, never bothering to sit down and talk with this person to find out what is really on this person's mind.  They may not like grandma and em' for the same reasons that one may secretly not like their own people.  Notice I said secretly, because a lot of times we know that someone in our family is wrong, we just don't feel like challenging him or her or may be afraid "to go there" with that person.

Acting "sometimey" is just one of those things that is in the eye of the beholder, but it should never be a cardinal rule for judging anyone, especially when you know you haven't bothered to get to know him or her.  Further, even if we did personally know that person who is guilty of acting "sometimey," is it so wrong to sometimes speak to people and other times keep silent-- what's the big deal?  Some of our people seriously need to grow up!

Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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