African American View on You - Black Love, Life and Spirituality: October 2024

Monday

Funeral Planning with Wisdom and Care

It's always tough to deal with the loss of a family member or friend. Emotions can be overwhelming, and decisions need to be made during this tough time. Here in America, the African American community’s funeral customs play a significant role in paying tribute to the deceased. However, funeral arrangements can feel overwhelming when you're uncertain about where to begin or how much it might cost. The following tips will help you with the planning process for both your loved ones and managing your finances.

The Conversation That Changes Everything

It begins with a phone call from a family member sharing news of a loved one’s passing. You are stunned and need to come to terms with the loss before facing decisions and making necessary calls.

Inform relatives about the situation. This may be done before or after necessary phone calls with a medical professional or coroner to confirm the passing away. Then contact a funeral home to handle the final arrangements for the deceased individual. These tasks can feel quite burdensome. Remember that you have support during this time from those who may be better able to handle the situation. Many funeral homes are there to guide you through this process with understanding and kindness.

1) To bury or to cremate – that is the question.

Regular funerals generally come with a hefty price tag ranging from $7000 to $12000 or more covering expenses like the casket, burial site, and related services while cremation tends to be more budget-friendly usually falling between $2000 to $4000 or more. Consider what your loved one would have preferred and respect their wishes and beliefs.

When funds are limited, and you need to be mindful of expenses, cremation could help you save money. You can arrange for a service while being mindful of your budget constraints. This is one of many reasons why you will see on social media many families attempting to collect funds or having quick burials, the deceased may not have left behind finances to ensure a proper burial.

2) Selecting the Appropriate Funeral Home

After that step is complete you should look for a funeral home to assist you in all aspects. From organizing the service to handling the paperwork. Make sure to inquire about a breakdown of costs without hesitation. You don't have to settle for the first funeral home you reach out to; it's wise to explore your options and compare prices first before making a decision.

3) Is it a service or a celebration of life?

Over the years, African American funerals have typically taken place at churches where music is played, and heartfelt stories are shared to remember the deceased and to celebrate their life. This is also a time to unite family members during challenging times; however, hosting a complete funeral service either at a church or funeral home can cost a lot.

You could also consider having a "celebration of life" gathering at your home or a local community center. This option allows for an intimate setting while also potentially reducing expenses.

Involve your family in the event by inviting them to participate in the service perhaps a family member who can sing or play an instrument could save money rather than hiring a musician. You could also suggest having a potluck where guests bring food instead of hiring a caterer.

4) Discuss the burial plot and headstone.

If you opt for a burial ceremony, you will have to buy a burial plot which usually costs between $1000 to $4000 or more on its own. Additionally, headstones or grave markers may amount to $1000 to $3000 or more. If this seems pricey, inquire about alternatives. Think about choosing a more basic grave marker.

Certain burial grounds provide the option of payment plans or discounted rates for purchasing a burial plot in advance. Having discussions with family members regarding planning funeral arrangements before any unfortunate events take place could be beneficial.

5) Dealing with the financial aspect.

Following a funeral service comes with the responsibility of addressing legal affairs such as managing life insurance policies and settling debts and wills. Tasks that might seem overwhelming initially can be tackled methodically to ease the burden of dealing with them all in one go.

Some websites help with sorting paperwork and responsibilities following the passing of a loved one. Seek advice from legal professionals or financial consultants for estate planning assistance.

Contemplating Biblical Teachings about Showing Respect to Those We Cherish.

In the Bible, stories illustrate how families cope with loss—like Abraham honoring his wife Sarah by buying a place for her and burying her respectfully (Genesis 23). Similarly, in the New Testament account of Lazarus’s death, in John 11 where his loved ones gathered to grieve and provide comfort and support.

Though our funeral customs have evolved to be more intricate nowadays, the core essence of the ceremonies still revolves around honoring and commemorating the deceased. As Jesus famously said, “Those who grieve will find solace" (Matthew 5:3).

Planning a funeral can be challenging; however, you can take solace in the fact that you are making an effort to honor your family members or friends. It's important to understand that it's not the amount of money spent that matters most, but rather the sincerity and affection shown during the funeral arrangements that make an impact that will be remembered. Take things one step at a time and rely on the support of your family and faith. Find comfort in the belief that you're not alone as God is watching over you.

A Prayer for Direction

God, we come to you seeking guidance and courage as we go through this tough period in our lives. Please guide us in paying tribute to our loved one in a manner that brings solace and reassurance. Grant us insight as we face the choices before us. Bless us with the support to move forward. We are grateful for the love and cherished memories that bind us together. In Jesus’ name Amen.

By following these tips and utilizing family support and resources, you can alleviate some of the emotional stress that comes with arranging a funeral service.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and Say Goodbye to Dad, nonfiction books that provide knowledge and wisdom to help readers heal from parental emotional and physical abuse. Available on Amazon.com.