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Monday

Who That is? Nostalgic for the Ghetto

Have you ever sat amongst a group of people and you are the only ink spot, so you start looking around hoping to find another ink spot like you? Have you ever sat back and laughed aloud with corny non-blacks only to hear a quiet voice whisper inside your mind, "Now you know that ain't funny?" Have you ever had a taste for some greens and cornbread (or any other soul food dish) while taking your fork poking at something that has some kind of French or Mexican name? Alright, if this hasn't happened to you then please do keep it moving, but if you "feel me" sit back and relax because I am about to take you on a ride -- to my old hood that is!

I was nostalgic for my old hood back in 2008. A hood of black folks who always "don't have no money" and "I will pay you when I get my check next week." I had spent so much time in an Asian community for the past four years (job related) that I started dreaming about Asian people. You know its bad when you start looking at people who you once thought all looked alike to now saying, "He's fine...She looks different than the other woman that helped me..."

I was in search of someone, anyone who looked or acted a little bit like my east coast self out here in So-Cal (Southern California.) When I would see my kind of people, or who I assumed were my kind of people, I would smile and try to make small talk, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Looking at me with "I don't know you," some of these people just didn't know how to speak! So I started running my mouth to my man about, "Where is the black folks? I mean I got love for everybody, but where is the black folks?" He took the blinders off his eyes too, (a black man who spent the majority of his life around every kind of folk) and asked me the same question as if he just now realized this after years of living out here. So I prayed and Oh Lord, why did I do that? God was going to teach my "Where are the black people at" preaching self a lesson! The next thing I know my man and I are talking about me going back to my old hood "...since you miss it so much!" and the next thing I know I am smiling and on the plane in 2009, "Peace!" I said. That's right I was seriously nostalgic for the black folks and left my man and children to go back to my old childhood stomping grounds for a move that later turned into a long vacation (a much needed break and another story!)

When I got to the old hood, it just wasn't the same! Man, I was mad! Then I was sad. I kept talking to everyone I saw, "What happened? It's not like the way it was back in the day? Why is it so ghetto?" With eyes glazed over, some brothas and sistahs high and some not, black folk I knew and didn't know, all said the same thing, "It was that crack! Police ran up into 'dem houses and they been like dat ever since!" All I could say at the time, "Daaammmn! Any plans to knock them down?" According to the local newsletter, (at least that was still around) they were going to do it, but when only God knows!

Do you know what that feels like, your old hood that wasn't really all that bad to begin with, yet gets worse with age, drugs, and gun slinging fools!? So I visited another hood and I guess I was out of touch. My mother was talking to me while we walked and I couldn't hear her, because I was too busy watching everyone. I wasn't smiling, I wasn't talking to any strangers, everybody I met was suspect. So I had to check myself what happened since I left? What happened to me? No one ran up in my house and scared me half the death, so why am I nervous? Because I felt an element of danger, okay? The kind that didn't exist in my palm tree-lined Chinese community with patrol cars strolling through looking at black a little closer than the rest, if you know what I mean. (However, those weird feelings showed up when I returned home and less than a year later, I heard some girl got murdered in our local park, "daammnnn!")

So there I was on a long vacation back in my east coast hood and I think I had all the black folk I could stand! We was still talking "bout folks, still askin' for 5 dollas, and still talkin' bout whose a**..." we would have to check! Yeah, it was time to get up out da hood 'cause someone was fixin' to go to jail and it ain't goin' ta be me, feel me?"

Nicholl McGuire is the creator of this blog.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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