On YouTube - ‪nmenterprise7's Channel‬‏

When I am not blogging, I enjoy working on videos. Recently, I uploaded some videos for parents, couples, and fellow business people on my YouTube channel. Feel free to learn more about me there and thank you for your support.

Nicholl McGuire
YouTube - ‪nmenterprise7's Channel‬‏

Waste the Blessing: Borrow and Get Cursed

Our people...why is it when we get money the first thing we want to do with it is the following: spend it on "wants" and not needs, give just about all of it away, and/or risk it on frivolous things or habits? Meanwhile, we are upset over past due bills and relatives and children asking us for help. That attitude pops on our faces so fast when someone tries to advise us about our spending money, doesn't it? "She just jealous I got something...He's not going to tell me what to do with MY MONEY!...Who does she think she is advising me on spending, look at her bank account?"

I think of what I heard a relative say back in the day after receiving some unexpected money, "I don't know when this money will come back around again, so I'm going to get what I always wanted." There isn't anything wrong with getting the things you always wanted, just so long as your priorities are handled.

Income tax season came and went. Some folks who was behind on child support didn't catch up, but made sure they got what they wanted for their house, car, woman and everything else! Others bought more furniture, electronics, clothes, shoes, and food then they needed or could afford. When all was said and done, what do you think came out of their mouths? "I'm broke." I'm thinking, "What else is new?"

The heavenly Father of the big spenders and borrowers that claim they "love so much made a way out of no way" and all these people can do is waste the blessing. Later, they borrow and get cursed. The creditors on the phone want to know, "When do you plan on making payments, Mister...Miss...?"

The loudest voices who cry broke are usually the ones who got good jobs, may have the degree, live in a nice house, and drive a car. They don't know when to quit buying for self. Once the "lottery" money, tax refund, bonus check, or other money is spent some want sympathy or even worse want you to help them with the bills. Huh!? I can't empathize for a single person who has a salary that can employ five people and still run a business successfully.

There comes a point that we should all learn from history such as: the unexpected bills will come through the mail, the children will need something, jobs come to an end, you become ill, health insurance doesn't cover everything, events come up that you will need to dress to impress, and on and on--save your money.

Nicholl McGuire

Our People Get Blessed Then They Curse Themselves

I read an article the other day on an African American website about more black women getting divorces than any other ethnicity (don't you love these statistics always calling us out!?) One of the reasons that was given as to why we divorce so much was attributed to our allegiance to relatives as compared to other ethnicities. (I would have to argue that the Mexican populace is more loyal to family then I have ever seen, but I digress!) In other words, rather than focusing on one's relationship, he or she is more concerned about what Grandma, Aunt Peaches and 'em think. I couldn't debate about this reason or others that popped up in my head, being that I am in the group of divorced black women. Some of the thoughts for why we divorce have to do with being tired, broke, busted, and disgusted with that playa mentality-- can I get an Amen? Okay, moving on...

The real reason why I wanted to post an entry today was because recently I know of someone who just got blessed with a fabulous opportunity. But there's just one problem, instead of keeping one's thoughts focused on the opportunity and his intermediate family, he is thinking about everyone else and how his opportunity will supposedly benefit others.

Another person I know also got quite a few blessings over her years and she too is guilty of concerning herself with other things non-related to her blessing. Once again too busy worried over what "this one and that one" will say and whether or not she should include relatives and friends in on her blessing.

So I thought to myself, "Is it just me or are these people cursing themselves before they even get blessed real good?" as the old folks say. I mean what is with this bring everybody along in your journey including people who don't mean you any good?

Let's set up a scenario for a moment which includes you in my example. Envision yourself winning more money than you can count. Okay you got it? Now you see yourself happy, excited and ready to start: paying bills, investing, saving, spending, you name it! Then suddenly some faces pop up in your mind. There are those naysayers over the years, parents, neighbors, even your Facebook friends that you might even hint that you got blessed. See the problem starting to develop? What happened to the money and the planning? Why do we start "going there"? "I just got to tell someone...I always wanted to buy mama a...well I know my daddy don't call or come around, but maybe I could get him...I wonder what my wife would think about me buying a new house for my sister and her kids...maybe I could move my Uncle in our new home he's been so sick lately..." It all sounds nice, doesn't it? But the reality is, that wifey is going to go off about having to care for Unc and the children, mama and sister are not going to meet those mortgage payments, taxes and all the other bills, and on and on. So out walks the blessing and in comes the curse.

This is why if you are a woman or man of faith, you have to seek God first before you decide to bless anyone with part of your blessings. It just may surprise some when God says, "No, I don't want you blessing your mom and dad--I have plans for that money." But some would argue with God, "But what about honor thy mother and thy father..." I'm sure he would say, "There is a season for all things," that is in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

We get ourselves in so much trouble taking everybody along for the ride in our relationships, new homes, money blessings, business endeavors and the like. Then we wonder why there is a long drought before we get blessed again. I speak from experience. I know what it feels like when you think you are doing the right thing for someone, only to find out later that you needed your money, your time and/or your space.

I think of that movie, Jumping the Broom, as I write. In the movie, there are some real life lessons to be learned. If there is a sequel, I can almost bet that the couple will be in marriage counseling. Those of you who saw the movie know what I mean. Seriously, we need to think twice about what some of us have been indoctrinated with since we were children, "When you grow up, you going to look out for me, right? You going to take care of me, right? You going to buy me what I always wanted, right?"

Answer them with this, "Sorry, I hate to break the news to you, but I have a family of my own now, I will pray for you and if God moves me to give you something, I will, but no holiday pressure, childhood memories or anything else will cause me to bring a curse upon myself for going against God's will." They most likely will shut up then, at least to your face.lol

Nicholl McGuire

Racial Issues Can't Be Discussed with the Naive or Ignorant

I was listening to a radio program where a black woman was talking to a white man about the prejudices that President Obama faces both directly and indirectly because of the political decisions he has made and the white man wanted to know why. To summarize what she said, whether President Obama makes a good political decision or a bad one, there will always be someone criticizing him because he is a black man. Well, why did she say that? Uh oh, here we go. Now before I go into the white man's reaction, mind you, race wasn't the only reason she had given previously, but the minute her mouth opened about it, what do you think the radio announcer did? He cut her off blabbering about how he didn't believe race has any factor when it comes to what some of the critics say about President Obama. Now you and I know better, and if you don't, well this blog entry is going to go over your head. A classic case of being naive and ignorant. I wonder how many blacks he has actually sat down with and had a heart-to-heart talk about racial prejudice. I also wonder if he ever went to a majority white establishment with a black person tagging along? I'm sure his reaction on the radio would have been very different.

I instantly had an attitude about the whole conversation simply because you don't call up a white man and talk race with him especially a naive one. I was glad she didn't back down, but she was obviously shook, because her voice lowered as if she didn't really want to reiterate her stance on racist critics. I would have loved for her to have been more bold since she was the one who brought race up while making him look ignorant.

One thing that I find some African Americans do, in non-black circles, is act just like non-blacks, avoid racial discussions. Now that's fine as long as there are no injustices happening right before your eyes within the group. But, sometimes people in these circles like bringing up hot topics just to start something, and if you fall for it when you know you are the only ink spot in the group, well shame on you!

Some African Americans might bring up racial subject matter as if fishing for an opinion from non-blacks related to black issues. Unless one is interested in dating a non-black person and meeting his or her family, I really don't know why it would be necessary to talk about black issues with non-blacks. But as dumb as it sounds, it happens! As I mentioned in other blog entries, some discussions should never take place with people who have not walked in your shoes period.

Back in the 90s, I remember those cultural diversity training workshops. In college, out of college, at the workplace and anywhere else someone saw a need, there was going to be some meeting set up somewhere reminding us to respect each other regardless of his or her race. Those meetings were informative and they did make you think twice about acting prejudice; however, it seemed that those who were non-black used them in such a way to either take on this approach like "I can relate..." or use the training to get many blacks to shut up about race. I remember hearing some non-blacks joke about the "race card," thanks to Johnnie Cochran in the OJ case. It was as if they were saying, "Okay I heard about your racial problems, and I feel for you, but now I don't want to hear anything else about it, thank you."

So when I listened to the radio announcer shut the black woman down that day, soon after, I shut off my radio. It doesn't matter that a non-black doesn't want to or feel like hearing about a racial issue, if something needs to be said, so be it. However, personally, I save my breath when it comes to meaningless conversations, debates or those open forums about race that occur in rooms where the majority is non-black. Before long, someone is going to say something that is going to work your nerves and then you are going to have to pray to your Jesus asking him for forgiveness. One of my aunts would say, back in the day, "Don't make me lose my religion!" I agree. The naive and ignorant are not worth it.

Nicholl McGuire