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Monday

Our People Get Blessed Then They Curse Themselves

I read an article the other day on an African American website about more black women getting divorces than any other ethnicity (don't you love these statistics always calling us out!?) One of the reasons that was given as to why we divorce so much was attributed to our allegiance to relatives as compared to other ethnicities. (I would have to argue that the Mexican populace is more loyal to family then I have ever seen, but I digress!) In other words, rather than focusing on one's relationship, he or she is more concerned about what Grandma, Aunt Peaches and 'em think. I couldn't debate about this reason or others that popped up in my head, being that I am in the group of divorced black women. Some of the thoughts for why we divorce have to do with being tired, broke, busted, and disgusted with that playa mentality-- can I get an Amen? Okay, moving on...

The real reason why I wanted to post an entry today was because recently I know of someone who just got blessed with a fabulous opportunity. But there's just one problem, instead of keeping one's thoughts focused on the opportunity and his intermediate family, he is thinking about everyone else and how his opportunity will supposedly benefit others.

Another person I know also got quite a few blessings over her years and she too is guilty of concerning herself with other things non-related to her blessing. Once again too busy worried over what "this one and that one" will say and whether or not she should include relatives and friends in on her blessing.

So I thought to myself, "Is it just me or are these people cursing themselves before they even get blessed real good?" as the old folks say. I mean what is with this bring everybody along in your journey including people who don't mean you any good?

Let's set up a scenario for a moment which includes you in my example. Envision yourself winning more money than you can count. Okay you got it? Now you see yourself happy, excited and ready to start: paying bills, investing, saving, spending, you name it! Then suddenly some faces pop up in your mind. There are those naysayers over the years, parents, neighbors, even your Facebook friends that you might even hint that you got blessed. See the problem starting to develop? What happened to the money and the planning? Why do we start "going there"? "I just got to tell someone...I always wanted to buy mama a...well I know my daddy don't call or come around, but maybe I could get him...I wonder what my wife would think about me buying a new house for my sister and her kids...maybe I could move my Uncle in our new home he's been so sick lately..." It all sounds nice, doesn't it? But the reality is, that wifey is going to go off about having to care for Unc and the children, mama and sister are not going to meet those mortgage payments, taxes and all the other bills, and on and on. So out walks the blessing and in comes the curse.

This is why if you are a woman or man of faith, you have to seek God first before you decide to bless anyone with part of your blessings. It just may surprise some when God says, "No, I don't want you blessing your mom and dad--I have plans for that money." But some would argue with God, "But what about honor thy mother and thy father..." I'm sure he would say, "There is a season for all things," that is in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

We get ourselves in so much trouble taking everybody along for the ride in our relationships, new homes, money blessings, business endeavors and the like. Then we wonder why there is a long drought before we get blessed again. I speak from experience. I know what it feels like when you think you are doing the right thing for someone, only to find out later that you needed your money, your time and/or your space.

I think of that movie, Jumping the Broom, as I write. In the movie, there are some real life lessons to be learned. If there is a sequel, I can almost bet that the couple will be in marriage counseling. Those of you who saw the movie know what I mean. Seriously, we need to think twice about what some of us have been indoctrinated with since we were children, "When you grow up, you going to look out for me, right? You going to take care of me, right? You going to buy me what I always wanted, right?"

Answer them with this, "Sorry, I hate to break the news to you, but I have a family of my own now, I will pray for you and if God moves me to give you something, I will, but no holiday pressure, childhood memories or anything else will cause me to bring a curse upon myself for going against God's will." They most likely will shut up then, at least to your face.lol

Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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