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You Don't Appreciate a D*mn Thing Until It's Gone

Let’s be real today, some of us are often taken for granted, as if we are always going to call, come around, be available, and help others.  

People who are sweet, nice and kind, don’t always stay that way especially when they see some foolishness going on with so-called trustworthy individuals around them.  Nice people have their moments too, but when life storms pass, they know how to take their position again and be that loving person (that is if they aren’t taken for granted yet again).  “Do you need something…I got you on that…you know I look out for you baby…” says that nice person in your circle.  But that difficult wife, husband, friend, or whoever else is responding to that nice woman or man with a half-hearted smile and a slight eye-roll.  Sitting down on the couch just looking “all ugly,” the unforgiving is looking like, “Don’t act all nice with me, I’m still trippin’ off what you did/said!”  Why does this kind of thing go on for so long and what makes the bitter person think that folks want to keep putting up with tension for the rest of their lives with someone who is supposed to be friend?  

Difficult people either refuse or don’t know how to let go of angry feelings because “you said…some years back and I’m still mad about that!”  Get over it if you want to keep your loved ones in your circle, keep your job, your house, car, etc.!  How long are we going to keep resenting folks because they made us mad?  At least the brotha or sista is tryin’!  I would have to ask that person who is still upset, what have you done lately to make peace?  What is usually the answer?  “Well I thought about…I mean I could of…well I am just still mad and I can’t get over stuff that don’t understand!”  So then you are prepared to say, “bye,” right?  Because if one wants to keep a war going, his or her intentions are to destroy something, right?   When that man, woman, boss, co-worker or some other person who is trying to mend fences grows weary of the fight to win trust, love, appreciation, togetherness, and so on and so forth, he or she will disconnect from you and move on with his or her life absent of the tension from some of you reading this.  A relative, co-worker, friend or even an article online warned you, but you keep greeting that loved one, boss, supervisor, a child, friend, or a relative with that cutting eye.

How long do we think nice people are going to stick around and wait for us to get our attitudes right?  And, when will we be willing to put in a good effort to make that relationship, family, opportunity, or something else work?  How long, people!  We have got to stop sitting on the fence when it comes to our personal issues, forget the economy and who is going to run this country, you have more important matters that are affecting you on a daily basis.  When the evidence shows that everyone is ready to move forward, you best be on the bus when it comes to the home-front and your business endeavors.

Some of us have been nursing wounds since childhood—won’t speak to parents because they are still tripping on some B.S. from back in the day.  Others are still angry with exs, noticed I said EXS, and won’t let parents see, live with or raise kids even though the child’s mother or father has proven they are doing good— some of you reading this are wrong and God sees you!  
When the evidence and proof is right in front of those angry eyes that loved ones, friends, workers, etc. are trying to do right, then who are we to keep punishing folks with our eyes, sighs, yells, slamming doors, back-stabbing, name-calling, and so on!?

You see, black folks (most I know, I don’t know about you) love the fights more than they enjoy peace.  Despite claiming that they love love,  I can’t tell!   It’s hard to see or experience true love when you listen to some broken record conversation about, “How he said that…why I can’t stand her…and why I will never forget when…and h*ll I ain’t forgiving no d*mn body with his sorry @#$^&*!”  

When do we get beyond the grief?  When do we make amends, if not with the one who is trying to make peace, but with ourselves?  When do we get to that place that we stop hatin’ and start embracin’?  I’m just sayin’.  

So that’s it for the day, a little somethin’ somethin’.  I have to “code switch” in other words get back to that regular conversation that is less hood and more neighborhood—peace, blessings and love to all reading this!


You can learn more about me on YouTube.  I am the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian’s Critic and other books.

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