There have been many times in my life where I observed non-blacks pretend to like the black girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, or children despite their true feelings. Just imagine someone telling you, "You have to accept this person into the family, because I love them. I don't care about your personal feelings about them...you will do this or else I won't come around you or bring my children around you either!"
With so many people dating and marrying interracially, there will come a point when one just might be tested. You might like one ethnic mix, but not another. You might be open to certain people, but not others. You may cry alot about what you are seeing around you. But whatever your personal feelings, at the end of the day, you are in control of your life and who you choose to let in or out of it.
I think the disappointments of discovering someone, who isn't like you, coming into the family could be better dealt with if all parties would just do the following things rather than pretend to like someone or a group you know you could care less about.
1. Accept people on your schedule, not theirs.
The media seems to be bullying us into thinking a certain way despite personal convictions, experiences, and the like. If you don't want to do something or like something, no matter what name they call you or what consequence they create because you have your reasons, it is always better stand up for something rather than fall for anything. Just consider how much sacrifice you might have to make as a result of holding on to personal viewpoints whether good, bad or otherwise.
2. Tell your daughter/son how you really feel even if they threaten not to come around you.
A loved one made a point when they made a choice to be with a certain ethnicity, gender, etc. Now you can make a choice on how you feel about it. Once again, weigh the pros and cons in everything and everyone that is brought before you. This way there is no acting like you like something or someone that you know you don't.
3. Enjoy your life even if you have personal prejudices.
Some people, who desire to get the results they want from others, use guilt to do it. They also use tactics out of books to persuade, manipulate, control, and send other messages to change viewpoints. If you are unwilling to put aside certain prejudices, then at least be open about them, rather than pretend to like certain people. Sooner or later the truth will come out in a dispute, eye roll, deep sigh, ignored request, or in other ways and it is then that you will be called out for your bad act.
4. Share details of your feelings with your Creator and ask him to help you.
If you know that your reasons for pretending to like someone is rooted in deep resentment, emotional scars, and other similar things, then take as much time as you need to get some healing. Read books, attend group meetings, and do things that will help you understand more about the people, places, culture, and more around you.
5. Remember to avoid the temptation to control, manipulate, bad-mouth, or do other things to make someone do what you want just because you don't like who or what they are doing.
So you might not be one for pretending and tend to dispense the truth like one drinking a strong liquor with no chaser, if this describes you, know that starting wars is not going to do nothing more then cause friction. Ignoring people because you heard something bad or think the worst about them won't help either. It is always best to choose the most respectful, righteous, and polite way of doing things in any circumstance.
Nicholl McGuire
With so many people dating and marrying interracially, there will come a point when one just might be tested. You might like one ethnic mix, but not another. You might be open to certain people, but not others. You may cry alot about what you are seeing around you. But whatever your personal feelings, at the end of the day, you are in control of your life and who you choose to let in or out of it.
I think the disappointments of discovering someone, who isn't like you, coming into the family could be better dealt with if all parties would just do the following things rather than pretend to like someone or a group you know you could care less about.
1. Accept people on your schedule, not theirs.
The media seems to be bullying us into thinking a certain way despite personal convictions, experiences, and the like. If you don't want to do something or like something, no matter what name they call you or what consequence they create because you have your reasons, it is always better stand up for something rather than fall for anything. Just consider how much sacrifice you might have to make as a result of holding on to personal viewpoints whether good, bad or otherwise.
2. Tell your daughter/son how you really feel even if they threaten not to come around you.
A loved one made a point when they made a choice to be with a certain ethnicity, gender, etc. Now you can make a choice on how you feel about it. Once again, weigh the pros and cons in everything and everyone that is brought before you. This way there is no acting like you like something or someone that you know you don't.
3. Enjoy your life even if you have personal prejudices.
Some people, who desire to get the results they want from others, use guilt to do it. They also use tactics out of books to persuade, manipulate, control, and send other messages to change viewpoints. If you are unwilling to put aside certain prejudices, then at least be open about them, rather than pretend to like certain people. Sooner or later the truth will come out in a dispute, eye roll, deep sigh, ignored request, or in other ways and it is then that you will be called out for your bad act.
4. Share details of your feelings with your Creator and ask him to help you.
If you know that your reasons for pretending to like someone is rooted in deep resentment, emotional scars, and other similar things, then take as much time as you need to get some healing. Read books, attend group meetings, and do things that will help you understand more about the people, places, culture, and more around you.
5. Remember to avoid the temptation to control, manipulate, bad-mouth, or do other things to make someone do what you want just because you don't like who or what they are doing.
So you might not be one for pretending and tend to dispense the truth like one drinking a strong liquor with no chaser, if this describes you, know that starting wars is not going to do nothing more then cause friction. Ignoring people because you heard something bad or think the worst about them won't help either. It is always best to choose the most respectful, righteous, and polite way of doing things in any circumstance.
Nicholl McGuire
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