She yells, curses, bad mouths, pretends to love her man and children, an angry older, black woman with an axe to grind can look beautiful while she destroys anyone who might dare to confront her about her ugly ways. "Don't even try it children and grandchildren," she says in her best, threatening voice with nasty attitude to match.
Don't be deceived into taking the controlling woman's side even when she is wrong. Her children don't come around for good reason. Husbands/boyfriends aren't much on challenging her because of their own insecurities, secrets, offenses, etc. She doesn't mind telling you how old she is, how much knowledge she has obtained, her life experiences, and more while talking over you, under you, and at you. Then she wonders why she isn't liked much by members of her own family, co-workers, brothers and sisters at the church, and elsewhere.
"She sure looks pretty for her age, but she has a nasty mouth. No wonder her kids and grand-kids don't bother with her...I love her, but I can't spend too much time with her...I use to like being around her, but that woman has issues," people who know her well say. You might have said this about someone you know.
When I wrote, "Tell Me Mother You're Sorry," my intent was to bring awareness to issues that some daughters and sons are too fearful of their aging, argumentative mamas and grandmothers that they just can't express. Those sassy mouths get in the way of progress and so one has to speak truth in any way possible and so truth for me came in the form of a book after spending decades listening and observing all women (black, brown, white, yellow, red...) in my own family and elsewhere and examining my own feelings.
Mothers, stepmothers, mother-in-laws, divorced mothers, and any other kind of mother with a history of manipulating people is a force to be reckoned with and until you know the game, she will play you and those connected to you. Before long, you are sitting there thinking, "What just happened, I thought we were cool?" You can't be "cool" with someone who will never see you as nothing more than a pawn in her game. A manipulative woman will lie, dominate, cheat, and more while expecting you to honor her whether she is a believer in God or not. People who help her with the mind games and compliment her on "how good she is" are oftentimes being played too, but because it doesn't feel painful to these flying monkeys and enablers, they think it is okay to approve their aging relative's dysfunction.
When you have arrived to that point in a relationship where you can truly see a deceptive, older black woman (or any person for that matter who loves lying more than speaking real truth) for who they really are, pat yourself on the back and start protecting your heart, mind and back account.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and other books. She provides spiritual wisdom about various subjects on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
Don't be deceived into taking the controlling woman's side even when she is wrong. Her children don't come around for good reason. Husbands/boyfriends aren't much on challenging her because of their own insecurities, secrets, offenses, etc. She doesn't mind telling you how old she is, how much knowledge she has obtained, her life experiences, and more while talking over you, under you, and at you. Then she wonders why she isn't liked much by members of her own family, co-workers, brothers and sisters at the church, and elsewhere.
"She sure looks pretty for her age, but she has a nasty mouth. No wonder her kids and grand-kids don't bother with her...I love her, but I can't spend too much time with her...I use to like being around her, but that woman has issues," people who know her well say. You might have said this about someone you know.
When I wrote, "Tell Me Mother You're Sorry," my intent was to bring awareness to issues that some daughters and sons are too fearful of their aging, argumentative mamas and grandmothers that they just can't express. Those sassy mouths get in the way of progress and so one has to speak truth in any way possible and so truth for me came in the form of a book after spending decades listening and observing all women (black, brown, white, yellow, red...) in my own family and elsewhere and examining my own feelings.
Mothers, stepmothers, mother-in-laws, divorced mothers, and any other kind of mother with a history of manipulating people is a force to be reckoned with and until you know the game, she will play you and those connected to you. Before long, you are sitting there thinking, "What just happened, I thought we were cool?" You can't be "cool" with someone who will never see you as nothing more than a pawn in her game. A manipulative woman will lie, dominate, cheat, and more while expecting you to honor her whether she is a believer in God or not. People who help her with the mind games and compliment her on "how good she is" are oftentimes being played too, but because it doesn't feel painful to these flying monkeys and enablers, they think it is okay to approve their aging relative's dysfunction.
When you have arrived to that point in a relationship where you can truly see a deceptive, older black woman (or any person for that matter who loves lying more than speaking real truth) for who they really are, pat yourself on the back and start protecting your heart, mind and back account.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry and other books. She provides spiritual wisdom about various subjects on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
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