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Wednesday

Black Woman

As always it is sad to see the negative depictions of black women in media and the negative attitude that many have whether overt or covert toward us.  Gay men mad at her, black successful men turned off by her, ghetto black men blame her, and crazy black men use and abuse her...a decent black woman doesn't have a fighting chance unless she goes about this world content and alone. 

I see "the attitude" that some display assuming that we will "go there."  I watch how non-black people attempt to figure out what kind of black woman are we such as: the ghetto, wild, ignorant, intelligent, substance addicted, poor, etc.

It doesn't help matters to already feel at times misunderstood then along comes a partner crying his share of the blues claiming we don't understand or trust him.  As we all know, trust is to be earned and when a man isn't treating his woman right, how can she trust him?  If a man isn't communicating much to her, how can she understand him?

I often wonder what does the future hold for my own children, four black boys, already at times treated unfairly in predominately white schools from time to time.  I think of how they are fond of other female ethnicities (non-black) due to their environment.  When they are exposed to their "own kind," they don't even like them much.  So I ask them, "Why?"  They respond with things like: "They are always in trouble...bad...ratchet!"  One son talked of a black girl bending down and brushing her butt on his hand resting on the corner of his desk and attempting to do other things to get his attention.  Another talked of a young, black girl looking unattractive and was loud.  My other two sons shared how the black boys and girls they knew were often doing something wrong and proceeded to mimic their ignorant dialects.  One of my sons, moved his body in the way that a sassy girl does as he shared his experience talking to her.  He laughed and so did I.  But deep inside, I was disappointed and I knew he was telling the truth, because I went to school with that type, fatherless daughters.

I listened to my sons, really listened, and they talked like their was no connection, no commonalities with the black folks, yet they are black.  The truth is, the wild type of black folk, there really isn't a connection as well as some other "types."  I watch other children, and I notice the adults, some too blind to see what they are creating.  I don't advocate foolishness, but education.  There is nothing cute or nice about a sassy mouth female who can curse like a sailor and stick out her big behind wearing form fitted stuff while tossing fake, multi-color hair around.  I didn't like the persona when I was young enough to carry it out and still don't support it.

I do not think too much about why a black man doesn't want to be bothered with a black woman whether educated or not like others these days, because many of the issues he has with her, she has with him.  He isn't sassy mouth or wearing fake hair, but he has an "attitude" too.  He is mad about someone or something while looking for external influences to soothe him whether they come in black, white, brown, yellow, red, or other. 

If the black woman is sick and the black man is sick then I can't imagine how either can help one another.  Therefore, the black woman is off on her own again after yet another break up with what she calls, a "no good, good for nothing..." black man.  Yet, she still doesn't want to see the truth for what it is, the work begins with her like it does for the black man.  Until they can both take the blinders of pride off their eyes wide shut and rambling lips, dysfunction will continue to loom. 

Anyone relatively normal, black or not, who has involved themselves with a dysfunctional African American, female or not, who thinks everyone else is to blame but him/her, knows all too well what I'm talking about.

For the men who are abused by crazy women in general (no matter the ethnicity) or are in relationships with the insecure, jealous and violent type, read free samples of my book, She's Crazy, I am speaking from observation, experience, and provide practical advice for the battered men who still love their wild women.  Be blessed!

Nicholl McGuire African American Planet Blog Owner
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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