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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Wednesday

Pills to Help Cope with Personal Challenges - My Experience

2019 would be the last time that I felt completely like myself.  It wouldn't be until early 2022, that I would feel like my old self.  What happened?
 
When my personal, as well as professional challenges, were increasingly becoming more demanding and I didn't seem to feel any better with on and off again illnesses, I visited a doctor in February 2020.  I found out that I had needed a hysterotomy and learned around the same time that many of my coworkers had covid symptoms.  
 
I suspected I had covid too back when we called covid symptoms "a bug" or "flu," our staff didn't know what the illness was that gave us a variety of symptoms including loss of smell and taste during December 2019 January 2020.  Meanwhile, as parents were told that our children were to remain at home for the rest of the school year.  Of course, most students began to perform poorly.  As if that wasn't enough, at my former apartment management job around that time, I received visits from parents who wondered what local colleges and universities were going to do if covid cases increased, because they didn't want to be responsible for apartment lease contracts if the schools were going to close and send their children home.
 
I as well as others I knew seemed to be feeling out of sorts, not ourselves.  Our minds were confused at times, forgetful.  We were unhappy at times more than happy.  Our futures were uncertain.  Then people started dying.

 

In 2019 according to Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, 6.5 million African Americans had a mental illness and/or substance use disorder (SUD), an increase of 10.1% over 2018 composed of increases in SUD and mental illness. 

There was only so much that I could take into my mind.  I felt like I was sinking fast at the time.  However, as more people began to talk about what they were going through in media, gradually I saw some positive changes in some people including myself. 
Since 2020, it has been a breath of fresh air to see that life coaches, doctors, counselors, psychologists, ministers, and others are doing more to support people specifically the African American and Latin communities who suffer with things like anxiety, and emotional instability, nervousness, and fear.  However, the Band-Aid fixes using prescription medicines, well depending on the person, don't always have the benefits that outweigh the risks.  
 
As my own personal and professional challenges began to mount during 2020 going into 2021, one of the doctors I visited, prescribed “magic pills," an antidepressant, and an estrogen supplement back in February 2020.  A dentist prescribed more pills that same year for infection and painkillers until I could get an appointment for my root canal (a previous dentist drilled too deep in my mouth to fix a cavity).  Yes, the pain, the pain!  All of which I got taken care of that year.
 
I remained on the antidepressant for about eight months (from February to September 2020).  The other pills about a month.  Three times a day taking an antidepressant to get through the day and all the rest to help manage pain and infection, I was having an out-of-body experience most days.  
 
I must admit I was not who I had been prior to taking all those medicines.  The antidepressant had brought on its share of mania including trouble sleeping, excessive happiness, and racing thoughts.  It also gave me unusual behaviors like believing I was someone else and feeling confused at times when people spoke to me and what I was supposed to do next.  It also brought about more vision problems to the point that now I wear glasses. There was also one very important thing that the antidepressant did, it caused me to no longer write like this.  A simple sentence was okay, but a blog post, article, a report, a poem, a song...no way!  It was too much effort to sit and concentrate on creative tasks.  I recall spending way too long trying to fill out a template for a creative flier even with the words present to copy.  
 
Creativity is no more when you are medicated.  You also don't have much feeling for others.  I was pretty much ready to delete everything that I created while on the medicine.  In 2021, I began withdrawal, I had fought with all sorts of emotions including paranoia and unusually grand ideas that I couldn't recall weeks later.  In addition, while taking the medicine, I learned that I had high blood pressure, and heart palpitations every now and again and felt tired more so after eating initially, because something was happening with my blood sugar that hadn't occurred prior to taking the medicine.  There was no off button prescribed as to when I was done taking the medicine.  The comment from the doctor was, “Why were you ever off any of it, to begin with?”  
 
Years ago, I was given different types of antidepressants, and each gave me similar side effects.  One was so bad that all I ever wanted to do was sleep and I had no sex drive and no orgasm while on that medicine.  One doctor thought it was necessary to prescribe it because I was going through postpartum like behaviors for months after the babies had been born.  I never understood why they thought just one week of highs and lows and I, or any mother, would just be fine afterward so they had sent me home with babies and no medicine until I showed back up with a lot on my mind, read When Mothers Cry. 
 
Anyway, I took the pills--for how long I don't remember exactly (less than a year), but what helped me more so was getting away from the babies for months to collect myself and manage my own mind, body, and soul so I could return to care for them.  Fast forward to February 2020, almost two decades later, there I was told to take pills again with no cutoff date.
 
What I have learned is that pills, like counselors, have their place for a time in your life (if you are willing to accept) depending on one's condition, but they are not meant to be used often, in excess, or for most people, for the rest of their lives.  There are aids for a season in your life, but once a person has demonstrated that they are perfectly capable of caring for themselves, there are healthy alternatives that don't involve pills and controlling people.  
 
All pills and caretakers don't fit all.  When you can manage your life, you are also able to make the kind of decisions that are most beneficial for yourself such as having faith, and a support system that is more concerned about your health and not so much about your money or service. 
 
Your peace of mind and the free time to think apart from others is most important, so take care of yourself when you can!  
 
Nicholl McGuire has an online store of beautiful artwork and useful household products, Stillness Gifts.  She is also the owner and contributor of this blog.

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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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