Welcome

This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Saturday

Distracted Drivers Headed to their Graves Sooner

at No comments:

Friday

Desperate to Make Money and the Rich Know It

at No comments:

Tuesday

Pastor Dwayne Dawkins BREAKS his silence since viral scandal!

at No comments:
Labels:

Saturday

How Kansas City Police Ignored Warnings a Killer Targeted Black Women

at No comments:
Labels:

Kanye West - Can't Tell Me Nothing

at No comments:
Labels:

Friday

Fatherless Son, Know When to Let Go: 7 Tips on Beginning the Path Toward Healing from an Emotionally Absent, Physically Distant Father

Jacob never knew his father. He died in a car accident before Jacob was born. His mother never talked about him, and when Jacob would ask, she would just cry. So, Jacob grew up without a father figure in his life.

As a child, Jacob always felt like he was missing something. He didn't feel complete. And because he never had a dad to look up to, he found it difficult to form relationships with other people. He always felt like he was on the outside looking in.

As an adult, Jacob decided to do some research on his father. He found out that his father was an emotionally absent and physically distant father to children he had with other women. This information made Jacob realize how much he really hadn't missed out on, he wasn't there for his sons and daughters either. Although Jacob wished he could have had a relationship with his father, but it was too late now, the man died.

Jacob decided to make peace with what his father could not do for him which was be present in his son's life.  He also made peace with his father's untimely death and chose to continue to move on with his life. He knew that it would be difficult, but he was determined to find contentment. And eventually, he did, he had his own children with a lovely wife.

Although this fictional example does not speak to the countless challenges fatherless and daughters encounter as a result of their dads not being emotionally and/or physically present in their lives, the impact can not be ignored.

Consider the following:

1) Take the time to acknowledge the pain.  Speak out loud to yourself.  Interview you like someone would trying to get to the root of the problem.  What hurts?  Why does it hurt?  Do you blame you, your father, your mother...?  Why do you blame?  What could have been done differently?  Do you understand what your father's challenges were at the time?  Would you like to move on?  What do you think you should do to begin the path toward healing? Questions and responses can be penned in a journal to reflect.  You can also use these in a therapy session or when writing a personal memoir.

2) Find out areas where you struggle with personal and professional relationships and work to be a better person.  Chances are you broke up with someone, may have quit or lost jobs, and had other challenges that looked a lot like some of the men in your family or neighborhood. There may be other mounting issues that are stagnating mentally and spiritually growth that tie back to childhood.

3) Avoid dwelling on what your father did or didn't do for you. Instead, choose to say something positive about yourself and what your goals are in life.  Often bringing up how your dad "wasn't there, he was on drugs, he left you and the family hungry, he cheated, he this...he that..." does nothing more than set you back and irritate those around you who want nothing more than for you to live your best version of yourself!  Negative conversations in the long term bring you and your family down.

4) Apologize whenever possible if you have upset your relatives and friends by lashing out or saying or doing something similar to your father or other negative men. Work hard not to repeat the toxic behaviors.

5) Seek counseling whenever possible. Professionals are experts in problem-solving and provide effective ways of coping when the past has a way of triggering you emotionally.

6) If you feel that nothing is working, visit a doctor.  There may be health challenges you inherited from your father that you are not aware of as to why he was not the best partner to your mother (or other women) or a good worker at his workplace.

7) Don't give up on striving to have a quality relationship with your wife or children's mother.  You can do this by listening rather than arguing--not every response deserves an answer.  Remember your children (and possibly grandchildren) are watching and listening. You want them to see a father who shows love rather than make war with those he claims he cares for.

With these tips hopefully you will be the one that your loved ones will remember you by saying, "He was a great dad and he showed just how much he loved us.  He listened and genuinely cared about our feelings and what we wanted out of life.  I am so grateful to have known this man!"

Nicholl McGuire is blog owner and contributor of this blog.  She is also the author of Say Goodbye to Dad and Tell Me Mother You're Sorry.

at No comments:

Monday

On How to Encourage Someone who is Having a Tough Time - nm enterprise 7

at No comments:
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)

Search This Blog

Labels

a abortion about this blog about us absent fathers abuse abusive men abusive women adopted black children affirmative action africa african american african american achievers african american art african american audio books african american authors african american beauty african american bloggers african american books african american bookstores african american brothers african american business african american celebrities african american children african american chinese african american christian women african american christians african american churches african american clothing styles african american communities african american community african american cuisine african american culture african american dating african american dating sites african american deceivers african american dining african american documentaries african american drama african american drug dealers african american education african american elite african american entertainment african american family african american fathers african american friendships african american gamers african american genealogy african american gifts african american girls african american gods african american grandparents african american grants african american hair loss african american haircare african american hairstyles african american health issues african american heritage african american heterosexuality african american history african american holidays african american home owners african american homosexuality african american idols african american inventors african american korea african american lawyers african american leaders african american lifestyle african american magazines african american marriages african american media african american men african american mental illness african american ministers african american models african american mothers african american movies african american museums african american music african american music videos african american natural hair african american news african american occult african american online surfing african american opinion african american paintings African American parade african american parents african american photographers african american photography african american poets african american police officers african american political prisoners african american preachers African American producers african american prostitution african american radio shows african american relationships african american religion african american researchers african american russia african american samoan african american scholarships african american self-hate african american sex african american singles african american skin care african american skincare african american soldiers african american sons african american speakers african american spirituality african american statistics african american studies african american television networks african american thinking african american thoughts african american tips african american toys african american transhumanists african american travel african american voters african american wealth african american weaves african american wigs african american women african american women groups African American women in science african american women inventors african american workers african american writers african americans african americans and africans african americans jail african americans respect african americans workers african americans workplace african art african consciousness african decor african food african history ai tools american holidays ancestry anger management angry angry black man angry black woman angry black women angry blacks atlanta aunt tammy banks Barack Obama be encouraged bible big girls biracial people birth control bisexual black men black alliance for just immigration black american ignorance black american quotations black american racism black art websites black athletes black attitudes black business black celebrities black celebrity children black celebrity masons black cinema black conscious community black conscious women black dating services black dolls black education black elite groups black English people black family black feminists black grandmothers black greek organizations black history black history month black inventors black love black men black men and white women black music black national anthem black nationalism black panthers party black people and summer time black people attitude black preachers black racists black radio stations black scholars black singles black sitcoms black skin black stereotypes black toys black women blacks with an attitude blessings and curses blog owner boule boxer brainwashed blacks celebrities and god cheating childhood childless women children activities chris brown chris rock christina milian civil rights civil war cold-blooded african americans colorism communication communication skills community assistance confrontation construction in haiti constructive criticism contract with black america controlling black folks controlling men controlling women counselors crazy blacks crisis dark skin dating dating violence death deceased black legends depression difficult people disorders diversity domestic violence down low celebrities dreaming eastern stars economics educated blacks education elderly black folks employment entrepreneur eugenics exes experiences faith family history family issues family secrets fat african americans fearful blacks fema camps financial assistance first black president food stamps fools fraternal organizations free stuff freemasons french african friendships funeral planning funny african americans funny black man funny black people funny black woman funny stuff gay black men generational curses ghetto gifted african americans going green good black men gospel music gossip government Haiti haiti earthquake haiti fault line happiness harlem haters helpful links hidden medical experiments high blood pressure highly sensitive blacks hip hop culture hip hop fashion homosexuals honest black folk housing assistance how to approach a black woman how to get exposure on this site human trafficking hurricane relief ignorant black people illuminati insecure women inspiration internet dating interracial relationships israel jaguar wright jamaicans jealous men jealous women jealousy jobs juneteenth keep it real kwanzaa laboring to love an abusive mate liars light skin lottery loud mouth blacks love lust lynching make money manhood manipulative media manmade earthquakes martin luther king barack obama medicine memorial day menopause mental issues michael jackson michael jackson children mother michelle obama mike tyson mike tyson daughter military mind control minority women scholarships misogyny modern day slavery money moors motivation multiracial celebrities music lyrics music videos narcissism natural disasters negro spirituals nelson mandela nicole richie nonblack not african american Obama obama campaign Obama sworn in obese black people offended blacks old school overweight african americans paranoid paranormal passing for white patience patti labelle paula abdul peace pedophilia perimenopause poems police poor african americans population control positivity post traumatic slave syndrome postpartum depression poverty prayers prejudice prescriptions president barack obama president elect barack obama prideful prostate cancer and black men protests racial problems racism racist republicans rappers rb music groups reality shows recycling reggae music relationships relatives religion revenge reverse discrimination rhianna rich african americans samples and trials SARS scammers scams scandalous pastors scary blacks schizophrenia secret societies self esteem self hate self righteous senator barack obama sex sexual harassment shopping siblings skin bleaching skull and bones slavery social issues social networking society sociopaths sometimey black folks soul food spiritual african americans spiritual warfare sports state of the union address strange black folks stubbornness superstition surveys terri seymore the man threats tired black man tired black woman toxic parents travel trends twitter uncle tom unemotional unemployment ungrateful black folks voter privacy war whistleblowers white american racism white people wisdom women friends work at home youtubers
Creative Commons License
African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

Translate