The fastest way to anger a black woman or man, especially if he or she is a senior or poor, is to call this person by his or her first name. Did he or she give you permission? "Who does he think he is addressing me by my first name? I thought her parents taught her better than that calling that man by his first name?" the offended asks.
Chances are the person calling you or anyone else by their first name isn't out to get you, disrespect you or get your blood pressure up. But some of our people, oh boy, they lose it! An attitude shows up on their face and look out, you just might not ever be liked simply because you got too friendly with them by addressing them by their first name. "These young people these days just don't respect their elders," an angry elderly woman spouts. Funny, most of the elders aren't taking the time to teach the young people. You get out what you put in, right?
I personally feel it's all foolishness! State how you want to be addressed from the start and keep reminding the person until they catch on. Simple enough, right? Wrong, some black folks are over-the-top with this issue of respect. If you draw the line in the sand from the beginning, there won't be any question where you stand. However, I think for some of our people, specifically those who don't like a particular race or gender, they carry a certain demeanor that takes this issue of respect to a whole new different level.
"White folks do that sort of thing, address everyone by their first name...I don't play that! Call me Mr." I heard this and other statements being said by our people. Although it is true that many people (not only white) address one another by their first names, it should never be assumed that everyone wants to be called by their first name. However, acting emotional over someone forgetting a title because they aren't quite use to addressing you as such, is immature and downright foolish. Of course, there are those people who purposely don't use a title because they are trying to stir up trouble, don't feel comfortable or something else. What are we going to do with these people? It's real simple, you don't answer them until they respect your wishes.
As a society, we are getting away from a lot of things that seem to be decent and within order. Therefore, I can understand why some of our elders insist on us addressing them as, "Mr. and Ms." or "Ma'm or Sir." But I also, understand it's not what you say, but it is how you say it. Give one respect and you might get it in return.
Nicholl McGuire
Media from an African American perspective that isn't always politically correct, entertaining or encouraging. This African American blog shares black opinion on a variety of black issues from relationships to spirituality. Insightful advice for African Americans, commentaries, and lifestyle tips. Resources on black dating, black haircare, black families, black entertainment--if you love black, then you will love this African American blog. Check out unsung African American YouTubers.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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