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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


Lies Some Believe, But I Don’t

When it comes to our people, you know the manipulative ignorant ones, they can really act deceptively in what they say and do to you, me and others.  I recall experiences with many of “our folks” where I simply was shocked, angered and confused as to why someone who claimed to be my “favorite” relative or my “girl” or “my homey”—yeah we said that back in the day, would do me wrong!  So I share some things that I have noticed over the years when it comes to some of our people making up stories.

One.  “I pay for my children to get through school.”

When someone, who has a child in school, is telling you how broke they are doing this and that, you have to wonder, “Doing what?” If they can manage to buy a new car, get new additions for the home, etc while their child is lacking, something is amiss.  You will surely find out the truth from the child.  Maybe some are helping because a child doesn’t qualify for any assistance, but that is rare—usually they can get some financial aid.  But when the child is telling you, “Auntie…Uncle… I don’t have any money for food and I am using my credit cards to pay for books and the financial aid office received my loans, but I still have a balance...” then you know this child’s parents ain’t paying for a thing!

Two.  “Me and my husband have a good relationship…I love my wife.”

Now this sounds nice, but the truth of the matter is oftentimes couples are having it rough.  Sometimes saying things out loud is nothing more than positive affirmation—I see this a lot on Facebook, but if you were to follow people home and live with them, you would see an entirely different story.  I might go along with the story-telling until someone starts trying to give me relationship advice.

Three.  “I don’t like none of them…they some nasty people!”

Usually if black folk call something or someone’s personality nasty, they are telling the truth, but every now and again, you have a hater that wants to bad-mouth people so that you don’t help them.  Instead, they want you to divert your attention to their needs so that you can reach down in your pocket to help them.  “Yeah your cousin ain’t no good…she don’t need any money, I do…don’t be helping them!” the manipulator yells.  “You know I have a birthday coming up.”

Four.  “I’m a clean person…”

People who say this have their reasons for saying it.  Maybe I say it, because I know how you are and I am just letting you know that when you show up in my home, you will have to take your shoes off and wash your hands, not in my kitchen sink, but in the bathroom with the soap I have provided—understand?!  But others say, “I’m a clean person,” especially when they cook, because they want you to feel comfortable eating their food, I agree, I say this too.  However, there is that group who talks about “how clean…how nice…” and how much they do this and that, but the reality is they are unclean.  Just sit back and watch how well and how much they wash their hands when handling food, look under their nails, walk by their ears, then bend down near them and sniff, then you tell me how clean they are!  If you should go to their home, take your finger over a few pieces of furniture like their kitchen or dining-room table, look at the carpet and view the walls then take a deep sniff, I rest my case.  

Five.  “I make a lot of money, I don’t want for anything.”

Some people are telling the truth, notice I said some, but many lie.  If one makes a lot of money, then you have to ask yourself, “Then what is he/she doing with it?”  There should be no excuse for bouncing checks, running up credit cards, passing on getting the car fixed, getting things shut off, and more “when you don’t want for anything.”  I say, either he/she is cheap and just loves hoarding money or he or she is wasteful and is just telling people about one’s net worth to hide his or her foolishness!

Six.  “I can help you…hook you up…I know someone.”

If I heard this once, I have heard it a thousand times!  The only one and I do mean the only one that ever gave me a sincere, worthy “hook up” (when I asked for one, mind you) in my life was my sister.  The rest of my people talked and talked some more and when I say sincere, I am not talking about some temporary, “pay me back” later mess or “I don’t want this anymore, so I am just giving it away.”

Real talk, many of my folks can’t even buy one of my books, without expecting a discount or a hook up, much less help me get connected with a top notch producer, business owner or someone in the publishing industry.  So when you hear someone say this to you, ask for contact information, receipts, licenses, and whatever else related to the “hook up.”  I’m telling you, it will keep you out of trouble with the law and other folks you might know.  Sometimes people do hook you up, alright, but then you have to question is it legal, what might be the fine print in the transaction—feel me?
Seven.  “There’s nothing wrong with that…I swear…I paid good money for it!”  

“You lyin’!  You got it on sale!  Why must we go there!” I think this when I hear about someone flashing their new purchases.  What’s worse is some people are given things and won’t even give credit where credit is due.  “You didn’t buy that!  Yes I did…” she says.  “Like h*ll, you did!” he responds.  Oh yea, that happy couple I mentioned earlier, well his wife got some explaining to do.

So the next time your people, my people and even us get tempted to lie about something, take that pause and tell yourself, “I ain’t going to lie God, not today, but you might have to give me an extra anointing tomorrow.”

Nicholl McGuire, author of When Mothers Cry and other books.

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