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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Friday

Do You Really Know What it Means to Love?

I have seen my share of so-called "love" amongst our people and it has long been suffocated with  dollar bills and service, so much so that what appears to look like love, looks more like abuse.

I have to admit, where I saw love demonstrated best wasn't with my own people during my youthful years when I actually paid attention to adults--I had to move away to know better.  In time, I learned about various forms of love.  There was tough love, agape love, romantic love, true love, etc.  These unfamiliar folks I came in contact with weren't perfect, didn't always know when I was observing and taking note, but knew that there was something about me that was different; therefore, many didn't mind showing me some love.  Rather than fight me on differences, they received me.  It was then, that I welcomed my first lesson on love as a young adult:  one must be willing to receive another, with flaws and all, in order to honestly say that he or she loves that person.  When I came back home to my struggling small town that had many streets stained with the blood of youth, I shared what I learned, not with everyone, but those willing to embrace love.

Too often we have users and abusers in our family and in our extended circles that simply don't know what it means to love.  They know how to ask you to do things and sit back and wait for you to meet needs, but love?  These individuals may even claim, "I love you..." but do they really?  What happens when you drop the ball--don't meet expectations?  They fall out of love with you, but did they honestly ever love you? 

I have experienced most of my life, outside of family, lust not sincere love.  Some men who "lusted" me didn't think too much of me once I showed that not only am I a body, but mind and spirit too.  Their lust was evident in the way that they looked at me.  They noticed my walk, my talk, and looked for signs on what I could do to prosper their pockets, but love?  Not hardly!  When I spoke truth, they rejected me almost as quickly as they said, "I love you...need you...want you baby."  They knew rejection; therefore, they knew how to reject.

Love is a foreign word to those who haven't been shown love. They merely act but know not love.  Some refuse to improve themselves so that they can truly experience love and appreciate others.  They are forever saying, "I know..." something, but they are walking in truth--in love.  So they go from partner to partner, business to business never honestly loving anything.  They talk a good game, but they don't love the game.  Oftentimes, a prideful people is more concerned about how they look, what they eat and where they go then whether or not they sincerely love self or others.  They don't revel in quality times, far too busy looking at wrist watches and what someone looks like to enjoy an atmosphere while appreciating one's very existence for being in that environment where love emanates.
 
How much more enlightened would a man or woman be on matters of the heart if he or she knew love more than war?

Attempt to get your parent, partner, friend or someone else to start talking about love.  What is his or her take on it?  Notice the mannerisms as he or she speaks.  Listen to your loved one's definition.  Does what this person say match his or her actions or reactions to your thoughts on the subject matter?  If he or she digresses or talks over you, this is a good indication how shallow one's love is for you.  True love gives and takes.

Some will look to the biblical definition of love found in Corinthians 13, others will use their deeds and what others has done for them to define love, but the truth is love comes from deep within.  If you have yet to experience love, you might want to check your reaction to people first.  How do you respond to self, family and others when your body cries out for attention, when they come around you, or when you go to them?  What type of conversation or lack thereof are you bringing to that one you claim to love? 

Love is action!  If I am not talking to you about anything of substance every now and again, if I don't emotionally or physically respond to your needs whether you ask or not whether you like me that day or not, if I act as if I don't care about what you say or where you are going, then do I sincerely love you?

We live in a world that is easily irritated and impatient with one another.  Sometimes we keep track of wrongs committed against us and look to pay people back. Other times we don't think to help or encourage others.  With negativity going on within us from one day to the next, it isn't any wonder why it is a challenge to love a partner, friend or enemy.  If I don't love who I am or the I AM of wisdom, then how can I love you?

We must recognize love, experience it, embrace it when it comes.  Our people must learn to close up that motor mouth inside our heads that says, "Now what does he want now?  Why is she coming over here in my space?  What are these kids going to ask of me next?  That group knows I hate them, why do they want to be bothered with me?"  When we start shutting that mouth up within and around, who knows what your marriage might look like a year from now, what prosperity awaits, what friendship might open up doors, or what a heavenly God might do for you and you for Him.  But if we don't permit love to operate--to allow optimism to take over, to look on the bright side, to think higher than ourselves, and to respect and utilize wisdom, then watch life change, not for the better, but for the worse.

Do you really know what it means to love?

Nicholl McGuire author of Laboring to Love Myself
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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