Wednesday
Black Pride Comes Before a Fall
Years of success has went to the heads of many of our black elders in communities across our land. Egos that are large like the watermelons planted in rich soil by slaves of yesteryear, the arrogant are selfish, jealous, and downright vengeful. Why so prideful? Why the need to raise one's tone of voice, look down on others, and act like a Know-It-All, when one knows not? Why bother to break a fellow brother or sister down because he or she simply doesn't agree? Why act rudely toward someone because he or she might be more knowledgeable about a certain subject matter?
Most blacks, as well as, non-blacks have already had a run-in or two with the sassy, young woman who looks for an opportunity to flaunt her nasty attitude while using her mouth to curse someone. But let us not forget, the older blacks who use position, connections, money, and fame to do everything from control others to shed blood. These mean-spirited people, who can smile in your face while steadily stab you in the back, are the ones you must watch while praying that you come out alive after all the mess they stir up. The following are examples of prideful people doing things to cover themselves.
A black leader might be quick-tempered and ill-equipped to handle what he is not use to, so he passes his responsibilities on to others while taking credit for work he has not done. Discerning observers should watch for this type of action and work swiftly to make changes before the boss takes the whole organization down with him (or her) due to sneaky ways of doing business. In another example, a wife is argumentative and often angry about a variety of family issues. Rather than deal with each problem one by one, she insults others while making excuses for her actions. A person like this is better left alone to contemplate the havoc she has caused for herself and others, because she refuses to deal with her personal problems. In this final example, a worker lacks discretion when it comes to conversing with his superiors without apology or making needed changes. It is only a matter of time that leadership will eventually find a way to rid themselves of their "challenge." All of these arrogant types are tempted to lie to keep jobs, money, relationship and more while throwing witnesses, advisers, and friends under the bus when their motives are called into question.
"Who does she think she is coming into my office telling me about XYZ? What kind of worker would feel the need to tell his boss about...Isn't he concerned that he may not get hired?"the man or woman with the issue of pride thinks to his or her self. One with no ego issue could care less about money, fame, power, position, or impressing others. Yet, the man or woman who believes that aging years, skin color, and personal satisfaction is of the utmost importance believes that most people think like him or her. Therefore, the strategies that this individual might use to manipulate a person or situation will center around years of knowledge/connections/degree/job title, topics related to ethnicity, and self-esteem. He or she might talk often about how much he or she knows, negative talk about fellow blacks while overtly or covertly bragging about one's self, family and connections.
This sort of negative behavior isn't just coming from old, prideful black men and women, but is also demonstrated in young, "think I know-it-all" black men and women who have studied and practiced the ways of arrogant mentors/teachers. They believe that somehow they are different when in all actuality they are nothing more than Mini-Me's. They too are concerned about money, power, fame, etc. and will fight to protect what little they have accumulated even if this means one day crossing the ones who showed them the ropes in the first place! The young and the restless will flock to people and places (sometimes without their shepherds) in the hopes that their connections will get them into the "in" crowd--that is if they aren't already in due to shady dealings, ethics, and favor.
Often critical of their elders, these young, foolish men and women will display child-like character when placed under pressure. From lying to vehemently arguing over things that are not worth debating about. The snobbish, also known as, boogie type of black will do nothing more than sit back and watch their own young hang themselves in career, family, and more. While commenting to fellow senior brothers and sisters, "You can't tell these young people anything."
Nicholl McGuire, author of Know Your Enemy: The Christians Critic, Amazon.com Check out her audio/video on YouTube and subscribe to nmenterprise7.
Most blacks, as well as, non-blacks have already had a run-in or two with the sassy, young woman who looks for an opportunity to flaunt her nasty attitude while using her mouth to curse someone. But let us not forget, the older blacks who use position, connections, money, and fame to do everything from control others to shed blood. These mean-spirited people, who can smile in your face while steadily stab you in the back, are the ones you must watch while praying that you come out alive after all the mess they stir up. The following are examples of prideful people doing things to cover themselves.
A black leader might be quick-tempered and ill-equipped to handle what he is not use to, so he passes his responsibilities on to others while taking credit for work he has not done. Discerning observers should watch for this type of action and work swiftly to make changes before the boss takes the whole organization down with him (or her) due to sneaky ways of doing business. In another example, a wife is argumentative and often angry about a variety of family issues. Rather than deal with each problem one by one, she insults others while making excuses for her actions. A person like this is better left alone to contemplate the havoc she has caused for herself and others, because she refuses to deal with her personal problems. In this final example, a worker lacks discretion when it comes to conversing with his superiors without apology or making needed changes. It is only a matter of time that leadership will eventually find a way to rid themselves of their "challenge." All of these arrogant types are tempted to lie to keep jobs, money, relationship and more while throwing witnesses, advisers, and friends under the bus when their motives are called into question.
"Who does she think she is coming into my office telling me about XYZ? What kind of worker would feel the need to tell his boss about...Isn't he concerned that he may not get hired?"the man or woman with the issue of pride thinks to his or her self. One with no ego issue could care less about money, fame, power, position, or impressing others. Yet, the man or woman who believes that aging years, skin color, and personal satisfaction is of the utmost importance believes that most people think like him or her. Therefore, the strategies that this individual might use to manipulate a person or situation will center around years of knowledge/connections/degree/job title, topics related to ethnicity, and self-esteem. He or she might talk often about how much he or she knows, negative talk about fellow blacks while overtly or covertly bragging about one's self, family and connections.
This sort of negative behavior isn't just coming from old, prideful black men and women, but is also demonstrated in young, "think I know-it-all" black men and women who have studied and practiced the ways of arrogant mentors/teachers. They believe that somehow they are different when in all actuality they are nothing more than Mini-Me's. They too are concerned about money, power, fame, etc. and will fight to protect what little they have accumulated even if this means one day crossing the ones who showed them the ropes in the first place! The young and the restless will flock to people and places (sometimes without their shepherds) in the hopes that their connections will get them into the "in" crowd--that is if they aren't already in due to shady dealings, ethics, and favor.
Often critical of their elders, these young, foolish men and women will display child-like character when placed under pressure. From lying to vehemently arguing over things that are not worth debating about. The snobbish, also known as, boogie type of black will do nothing more than sit back and watch their own young hang themselves in career, family, and more. While commenting to fellow senior brothers and sisters, "You can't tell these young people anything."
Nicholl McGuire, author of Know Your Enemy: The Christians Critic, Amazon.com Check out her audio/video on YouTube and subscribe to nmenterprise7.
Saturday
Friday
Feeling Abused, Used for Skin Tone, Wealth
A child is told by his parents that he is not to date a certain type of woman, live in a certain type of community, and act in a certain type of way...get the picture? But years later, he is faced with a dilemma, "Should I date this woman...Can I trust this man...Do I really want to do business with that particular group?" Now you plug in whatever ethnicity, religion, age, creed, sexual type, etc. in the blank and what might you get? A man (or woman) with a limited view when it comes to dealing with people. "They are okay, but those others...well, I recall my parents telling me..." The child turned grown up has allowed his programming to dominate his lifestyle. He prejudges people, assumes the worst, causes chaos (even when there is no necessary reason), and he does these things because, "Mama said...Daddy was right...I knew I wouldn't like that type..."
If he should meet a spoiled one in the group, he deems the whole group as "No good, you can't trust them. I would never date their daughters..." It's unfortunate but some naysayers will abuse the ones they don't like much until they can be with the one or group that they like more. They seek out "a type" or special preference above others just so that they can obtain and keep favor, wealth, and more with the favored individual or group. These selfish manipulators know that lying, covering up, cheating, and doing negative things to the unsuspecting is wrong, but what do they care? Their greatest concern is getting their needs met. For example, if a white man (who doesn't particularly care for black, brown or any other ethnicity but his own) finds that an award-winning, financially successful black individual is going to benefit him, then he would work hard to achieve one's trust. Once the closet racist has a satisfactory relationship with the individual, he can then do the kind of things to the person that look abusive to outsiders, but to the black, wealthy man, he doesn't feel that anything is wrong with how he thinks or what he does to self and others all in the name of the dollar bill. The poor man has a limited view on what abuse looks like. Therefore, if it doesn't look like his painful past, then it isn't so bad.
Think of the many broken, black men and women who run into the arms of everyone who doesn't even come close to looking like anyone in their own family. To be fair, let's assume that the idea of being with someone who looks like one's relatives make these run-away blacks feel uncomfortable. But what if these same blacks grew up with the kind of programming from parents or guardians that preached something like, "Our people ain't sh*t and will never be sh*t! Go find you someone, anyone, but one of our people!" Then it would be fair to assume that there is more going on in these run-away blacks minds besides just loving someone for who they are. Although most parents wouldn't say something so harsh to their sons and daughters; however, if they desire to communicate a similar message, they know how to do it by isolating themselves from people who look like "those people."
Some of my readers have been abused and used for their looks, money, power, connections, and more and for some, they never bothered to think of how they got here from there. But I will tell you, somewhere along the way, there was a rebellious spirit that rose up within you that didn't want to listen to authority and didn't care what anyone thought about your life choices. When you used and abused others whether emotionally and/or physically, someone or a group came along to use and abuse you. The cycle keeps going until someone checks his or her ignorant mindset and puts off negative programming from childhood. How many times have you bailed someone out of financial trouble, car trouble, jail trouble, job trouble, mama and 'em trouble? You are being used. How often is someone name-calling, shoving, threatening, or doing other things that hurt you? You are being abused. Are there times when someone is mentioning something about the color of your skin and how it benefits you? Does this person seem jealous?
Whatever your skin tone or someone else's doesn't give you or someone you know the right to use it and abuse it for selfish gain. Whatever is in your bank account (or someone else's) doesn't give you the right to brag about your wealth (or someone else's) and think that there are no consequences. The day a person realizes they are being abused and used, is the day that they will start cutting away and cutting off.
I have personally witnessed African American men and women who cried broke, with wealth in their bank accounts while asking others to help them for free or at a significant discount, then one day these same people experienced financial hardship. Users and abusers seek others to assist them with everything from errands to bills all in the name of so-called "love" and "family." They used their speech to persuade, their private parts to please, and their beauty to lure the gullible, the Christian, the broken, and the "Easy."
Some of our black relatives, exes, friends, and enemies used what they learned from childhood programming to strategically build a bridge leading to "white" money (whether through marriage, theft, lying, kissing a##, snitching, selling out, etc.) while denouncing most things black--the music okay, black connections and community not so much! For some blacks, they have such a hatred for their own kind that they would throw them under the bus if they could while pretending that they are not what you see. Then there are those who are victims, played like a fiddle. I was once one of them, used because of what a name represented, admired for skin tone, and then abused because of the same skin tone, disrespected because I was more educated and spiritual...and what hurt the most is when it is your own people who do you wrong.
And so life being black goes on...
Nicholl McGuire
If he should meet a spoiled one in the group, he deems the whole group as "No good, you can't trust them. I would never date their daughters..." It's unfortunate but some naysayers will abuse the ones they don't like much until they can be with the one or group that they like more. They seek out "a type" or special preference above others just so that they can obtain and keep favor, wealth, and more with the favored individual or group. These selfish manipulators know that lying, covering up, cheating, and doing negative things to the unsuspecting is wrong, but what do they care? Their greatest concern is getting their needs met. For example, if a white man (who doesn't particularly care for black, brown or any other ethnicity but his own) finds that an award-winning, financially successful black individual is going to benefit him, then he would work hard to achieve one's trust. Once the closet racist has a satisfactory relationship with the individual, he can then do the kind of things to the person that look abusive to outsiders, but to the black, wealthy man, he doesn't feel that anything is wrong with how he thinks or what he does to self and others all in the name of the dollar bill. The poor man has a limited view on what abuse looks like. Therefore, if it doesn't look like his painful past, then it isn't so bad.
Think of the many broken, black men and women who run into the arms of everyone who doesn't even come close to looking like anyone in their own family. To be fair, let's assume that the idea of being with someone who looks like one's relatives make these run-away blacks feel uncomfortable. But what if these same blacks grew up with the kind of programming from parents or guardians that preached something like, "Our people ain't sh*t and will never be sh*t! Go find you someone, anyone, but one of our people!" Then it would be fair to assume that there is more going on in these run-away blacks minds besides just loving someone for who they are. Although most parents wouldn't say something so harsh to their sons and daughters; however, if they desire to communicate a similar message, they know how to do it by isolating themselves from people who look like "those people."
Some of my readers have been abused and used for their looks, money, power, connections, and more and for some, they never bothered to think of how they got here from there. But I will tell you, somewhere along the way, there was a rebellious spirit that rose up within you that didn't want to listen to authority and didn't care what anyone thought about your life choices. When you used and abused others whether emotionally and/or physically, someone or a group came along to use and abuse you. The cycle keeps going until someone checks his or her ignorant mindset and puts off negative programming from childhood. How many times have you bailed someone out of financial trouble, car trouble, jail trouble, job trouble, mama and 'em trouble? You are being used. How often is someone name-calling, shoving, threatening, or doing other things that hurt you? You are being abused. Are there times when someone is mentioning something about the color of your skin and how it benefits you? Does this person seem jealous?
Whatever your skin tone or someone else's doesn't give you or someone you know the right to use it and abuse it for selfish gain. Whatever is in your bank account (or someone else's) doesn't give you the right to brag about your wealth (or someone else's) and think that there are no consequences. The day a person realizes they are being abused and used, is the day that they will start cutting away and cutting off.
I have personally witnessed African American men and women who cried broke, with wealth in their bank accounts while asking others to help them for free or at a significant discount, then one day these same people experienced financial hardship. Users and abusers seek others to assist them with everything from errands to bills all in the name of so-called "love" and "family." They used their speech to persuade, their private parts to please, and their beauty to lure the gullible, the Christian, the broken, and the "Easy."
Some of our black relatives, exes, friends, and enemies used what they learned from childhood programming to strategically build a bridge leading to "white" money (whether through marriage, theft, lying, kissing a##, snitching, selling out, etc.) while denouncing most things black--the music okay, black connections and community not so much! For some blacks, they have such a hatred for their own kind that they would throw them under the bus if they could while pretending that they are not what you see. Then there are those who are victims, played like a fiddle. I was once one of them, used because of what a name represented, admired for skin tone, and then abused because of the same skin tone, disrespected because I was more educated and spiritual...and what hurt the most is when it is your own people who do you wrong.
And so life being black goes on...
Nicholl McGuire
Saturday
Dead End, Abusive Relationships All in the Name of Black
He, a black man, told what he called his, "Mocha, Loveboat, Shawty" that he loved her just the other day after he hit her repeatedly because she was talking to a man. She, also known as, Sweet told her man of five plus years that she was his "ride or die chick" after scaring him with a knife. Crazy people in so-called love do crazy things. Frequent yelling and cursing, cheating, lying/covering up truth, fighting, or simply being unavailable emotionally or physically is abusive. Staying with someone, who might put you in jail one day, just because the pickings are slim where you are from when it comes to black men and women is crazy!
Days or even weeks of disrespecting a person will create an intense environment that might result in repeated emotional or physically abusive episodes. Claiming to love someone while flirting and/or having sex (or wishing to be with another) is setting yourself up for unnecessary drama in your household. It doesn't matter who started what, who is to blame, or what they said or did in the past, retaliation will only get someone hurt.
How long will a sweet woman live in misery before she turns sour? How long will a couple lie to one another about where they have been and who they have been seeing before one or both starts walking around with bruises on their bodies as a result of physically fighting one another?
As much as you wish to keep someone close to you or far away depending on the situation you or someone you know might be in, it is up to you to stay in control of your life--not theirs. You can't make anyone love you, like you, or want to be with you for always--no matter how hard you try.
I have learned after years of watching men and women within my family and outside of it that no matter what some do, you can't keep a troubled mind acting right. You can suggest counseling, buy gifts, create a stress-free atmosphere, snitch and let the police take that person away, leave the person repeatedly...only to find yourself one day asking, "Why am I here?"
No mentally disturbed individual on the face of this earth is worth giving the best of who you are or what you have become! No excuses will hide crazy. No prayer will cure the ones that God has not chosen. When the writing is on the wall, we survivors know, to read it and then prepare to follow the directions.
Before the year is out, listen to that wise spirit within and make the kind of decisions that will free you from a dead end relationship. Avoid those feelings that tell you to stay, because "there is no good black men...I don't know if I could ever find a black woman that will do XYZ like her...."--no one is worth the kind of drama that robs your peace of mind. There are others--better than the familiar spirit that keeps one on his or her knees hoping, wishing and praying even God turns a deaf ear to some folks.
Nicholl McGuire
Days or even weeks of disrespecting a person will create an intense environment that might result in repeated emotional or physically abusive episodes. Claiming to love someone while flirting and/or having sex (or wishing to be with another) is setting yourself up for unnecessary drama in your household. It doesn't matter who started what, who is to blame, or what they said or did in the past, retaliation will only get someone hurt.
How long will a sweet woman live in misery before she turns sour? How long will a couple lie to one another about where they have been and who they have been seeing before one or both starts walking around with bruises on their bodies as a result of physically fighting one another?
As much as you wish to keep someone close to you or far away depending on the situation you or someone you know might be in, it is up to you to stay in control of your life--not theirs. You can't make anyone love you, like you, or want to be with you for always--no matter how hard you try.
I have learned after years of watching men and women within my family and outside of it that no matter what some do, you can't keep a troubled mind acting right. You can suggest counseling, buy gifts, create a stress-free atmosphere, snitch and let the police take that person away, leave the person repeatedly...only to find yourself one day asking, "Why am I here?"
No mentally disturbed individual on the face of this earth is worth giving the best of who you are or what you have become! No excuses will hide crazy. No prayer will cure the ones that God has not chosen. When the writing is on the wall, we survivors know, to read it and then prepare to follow the directions.
Before the year is out, listen to that wise spirit within and make the kind of decisions that will free you from a dead end relationship. Avoid those feelings that tell you to stay, because "there is no good black men...I don't know if I could ever find a black woman that will do XYZ like her...."--no one is worth the kind of drama that robs your peace of mind. There are others--better than the familiar spirit that keeps one on his or her knees hoping, wishing and praying even God turns a deaf ear to some folks.
Nicholl McGuire
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.
