Blogger Tips and TricksLatest Tips And TricksBlogger Tricks


This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.


Feeling Abused, Used for Skin Tone, Wealth

A child is told by his parents that he is not to date a certain type of woman, live in a certain type of community, and act in a certain type of way...get the picture?  But years later, he is faced with a dilemma, "Should I date this woman...Can I trust this man...Do I really want to do business with that particular group?"  Now you plug in whatever ethnicity, religion, age, creed, sexual type, etc. in the blank and what might you get?  A man (or woman) with a limited view when it comes to dealing with people.  "They are okay, but those others...well, I recall my parents telling me..."  The child turned grown up has allowed his programming to dominate his lifestyle.  He prejudges people, assumes the worst, causes chaos (even when there is no necessary reason), and he does these things because, "Mama said...Daddy was right...I knew I wouldn't like that type..."

If he should meet a spoiled one in the group, he deems the whole group as "No good, you can't trust them.  I would never date their daughters..."  It's unfortunate but some naysayers will abuse the ones they don't like much until they can be with the one or group that they like more.  They seek out "a type" or special preference above others just so that they can obtain and keep favor, wealth, and more with the favored individual or group.  These selfish manipulators know that lying, covering up, cheating, and doing negative things to the unsuspecting is wrong, but what do they care?  Their greatest concern is getting their needs met.  For example, if a white man (who doesn't particularly care for black, brown or any other ethnicity but his own) finds that an award-winning, financially successful black individual is going to benefit him, then he would work hard to achieve one's trust.  Once the closet racist has a satisfactory relationship with the individual, he can then do the kind of things to the person that look abusive to outsiders, but to the black, wealthy man, he doesn't feel that anything is wrong with how he thinks or what he does to self and others all in the name of the dollar bill.  The poor man has a limited view on what abuse looks like.  Therefore, if it doesn't look like his painful past, then it isn't so bad.

Think of the many broken, black men and women who run into the arms of everyone who doesn't even come close to looking like anyone in their own family.  To be fair, let's assume that the idea of being with someone who looks like one's relatives make these run-away blacks feel uncomfortable.  But what if these same blacks grew up with the kind of programming from parents or guardians that preached something like, "Our people ain't sh*t and will never be sh*t!  Go find you someone, anyone, but one of our people!"  Then it would be fair to assume that there is more going on in these run-away blacks minds besides just loving someone for who they are.  Although most parents wouldn't say something so harsh to their sons and daughters; however, if they desire to communicate a similar message, they know how to do it by isolating themselves from people who look like "those people."

Some of my readers have been abused and used for their looks, money, power, connections, and more and for some, they never bothered to think of how they got here from there.  But I will tell you, somewhere along the way, there was a rebellious spirit that rose up within you that didn't want to listen to authority and didn't care what anyone thought about your life choices.  When you used and abused others whether emotionally and/or physically, someone or a group came along to use and abuse you.  The cycle keeps going until someone checks his or her ignorant mindset and puts off negative programming from childhood.  How many times have you bailed someone out of financial trouble, car trouble, jail trouble, job trouble, mama and 'em trouble?  You are being used.  How often is someone name-calling, shoving, threatening, or doing other things that hurt you?  You are being abused.  Are there times when someone is mentioning something about the color of your skin and how it benefits you?  Does this person seem jealous?     

Whatever your skin tone or someone else's doesn't give you or someone you know the right to use it and abuse it for selfish gain.  Whatever is in your bank account (or someone else's) doesn't give you the right to brag about your wealth (or someone else's) and think that there are no consequences.  The day a person realizes they are being abused and used, is the day that they will start cutting away and cutting off.

I have personally witnessed African American men and women who cried broke, with wealth in their bank accounts while asking others to help them for free or at a significant discount, then one day these same people experienced financial hardship.  Users and abusers seek others to assist them with everything from errands to bills all in the name of so-called "love" and "family."  They used their speech to persuade, their private parts to please, and their beauty to lure the gullible, the Christian, the broken, and the "Easy." 

Some of our black relatives, exes, friends, and enemies used what they learned from childhood programming to strategically build a bridge leading to "white" money (whether through marriage, theft, lying, kissing a##, snitching, selling out, etc.) while denouncing most things black--the music okay, black connections and community not so much!  For some blacks, they have such a hatred for their own kind that they would throw them under the bus if they could while pretending that they are not what you see.  Then there are those who are victims, played like a fiddle.  I was once one of them, used because of what a name represented, admired for skin tone, and then abused because of the same skin tone, disrespected because I was more educated and spiritual...and what hurt the most is when it is your own people who do you wrong.

And so life being black goes on...

Nicholl McGuire

No comments:

Pin Us!

Black Business Women Online

Join Nicholl at the Black Business Women Online Site here.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


African American Planet Blog Topics

african american spirituality african american relationships african american celebrities african american family poems african american men african american parents spiritual african americans black music african american women manipulative media money relationships white american racism african american be encouraged dating black history family issues african american hairstyles african american poets Barack Obama african american achievers african american business african american mothers african american thoughts african american health issues black history month racism abuse african american music domestic violence education gospel music african american churches african american documentaries african american history african american lifestyle african american movies american holidays narcissism africa african american dating african american friendships african american scholarships black women first black president interracial relationships not african american self hate soul food white people african american bloggers african american children african american entertainment african american fathers african american travel black business blog owner ghetto slavery african american christian women african american christians african american education african american elite african american haircare african american leaders african american news angry black man angry black woman freemasons mind control shopping spiritual warfare african american authors african american books african american culture african american museums african american skin care african american writers ancestry black american racism black celebrities black celebrity masons black love black skin cheating civil rights ignorant black people martin luther king barack obama mental issues about us absent fathers african american deceivers african american inventors african american marriages african american media african american statistics african american television networks african american workers african americans and africans angry blacks black grandmothers dark skin death fraternal organizations friendships illuminati prejudice president barack obama rb music groups religion sex travel abusive women african american communities african american magazines african american occult african american preachers african american speakers african american wigs african americans workplace angry black women black american ignorance black education black greek organizations black panthers party black preachers black racists black singles blacks with an attitude celebrities and god crazy blacks funny stuff hip hop culture jealous women love michael jackson natural disasters obama campaign postpartum depression president elect barack obama racial problems racist republicans secret societies unemployment voter privacy youtubers Obama a abusive men african american art african american audio books african american beauty african american brothers african american community african american cuisine african american dating sites african american dining african american drama african american genealogy african american hair loss african american heritage african american holidays african american home owners african american homosexuality african american idols african american lawyers african american mental illness african american music videos african american natural hair african american political prisoners african american religion african american researchers african american russia african american self-hate african american sex african american soldiers african american toys african american voters african americans jail african consciousness aunt tammy big girls biracial people black athletes black dating services black inventors black men and white women black people attitude black stereotypes blessings and curses boule brainwashed blacks children activities chris brown controlling black folks controlling men controlling women difficult people down low celebrities faith fema camps financial assistance funny black people gay black men gossip government homosexuals internet dating laboring to love an abusive mate liars light skin lottery menopause military music videos obese black people old school pedophilia positivity post traumatic slave syndrome poverty prayers schizophrenia self esteem senator barack obama skin bleaching sports surveys twitter uncle tom whistleblowers African American parade African American producers African American women in science Haiti Obama sworn in abortion affirmative action african american bookstores african american chinese african american clothing styles african american drug dealers african american gamers african american gifts african american girls african american gods african american grandparents african american grants african american heterosexuality african american korea african american latin america african american ministers african american models african american online surfing african american opinion african american paintings african american photographers african american photography african american police officers african american population control african american prostitution african american radio shows african american samoan african american singles african american skincare african american sons african american studies african american thinking african american tips african american transhumanists african american weaves african american women groups african american women inventors african american women makeup african americans respect african americans workers african art african decor african food african history anger management angry atlanta bisexual black men black English people black alliance for just immigration black american quotations black art websites black attitudes black celebrity children black cinema black conscious community black conscious women black dolls black elite groups black feminists black leadership black men black national anthem black nationalism black people and summer time black population control black radio stations black scholars black sitcoms black toys boxer break ups childhood childless women chris rock christina milian civil war classic black movies classism cold-blooded african americans colorism communication community assistance confrontation construction in haiti constructive criticism counselors dating violence deceased black legends depression diversity eastern stars ebola educated blacks effeminate african american men elderly black folks employment eugenics exes false flags fat african americans fearful blacks food stamps fools free stuff french african funny african americans funny black man funny black woman generational curses gifted african americans going green good black men haiti earthquake haiti fault line happiness harlem helpful links hidden medical experiments high blood pressure highly sensitive blacks hip hop fashion hip hop satanism honest black folk housing assistance how to approach a black woman how to get exposure on this site hurricane relief insecure women internet israel jamaicans jealous men juneteenth keep it real kwanzaa loud mouth blacks lynching malcom x manhood manmade earthquakes memorial day michael jackson children mother michelle obama mike tyson mike tyson daughter minority women scholarships misogyny moors motivation multiracial celebrities music lyrics negro spirituals nelson mandela nicole richie nonblack offended blacks overweight african americans paranoid patience patti labelle paula abdul perimenopause police poor african americans population control prideful prostate cancer and black men reality shows recycling relatives reprobate mind revenge reverse discrimination rhianna rich african americans samples and trials scary blacks self righteous sexual harassment siblings skull and bones slow jams social issues social networking sociopaths sometimey black folks strange black folks superstition terri seymore the man tired black man tired black woman trends unemotional ungrateful black folks voodoo war white perspective on african american issues wisdom women friends work at home

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems?

Dating Advice, Relationship Problems?
Like this blog? Check this one out too!

Blog Dash

African American View on You Blogger/Owner

African American Planet Blog

African American Planet Blog
Writer, Poet, Author, Speaker, Virtual Assistant Nicholl McGuire
Creative Commons License
African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.


This content is not yet available over encrypted connections.