A child is told by his parents that he is not to date a certain type of woman, live in a certain type of community, and act in a certain type of way...get the picture? But years later, he is faced with a dilemma, "Should I date this woman...Can I trust this man...Do I really want to do business with that particular group?" Now you plug in whatever ethnicity, religion, age, creed, sexual type, etc. in the blank and what might you get? A man (or woman) with a limited view when it comes to dealing with people. "They are okay, but those others...well, I recall my parents telling me..." The child turned grown up has allowed his programming to dominate his lifestyle. He prejudges people, assumes the worst, causes chaos (even when there is no necessary reason), and he does these things because, "Mama said...Daddy was right...I knew I wouldn't like that type..."
If he should meet a spoiled one in the group, he deems the whole group as "No good, you can't trust them. I would never date their daughters..." It's unfortunate but some naysayers will abuse the ones they don't like much until they can be with the one or group that they like more. They seek out "a type" or special preference above others just so that they can obtain and keep favor, wealth, and more with the favored individual or group. These selfish manipulators know that lying, covering up, cheating, and doing negative things to the unsuspecting is wrong, but what do they care? Their greatest concern is getting their needs met. For example, if a white man (who doesn't particularly care for black, brown or any other ethnicity but his own) finds that an award-winning, financially successful black individual is going to benefit him, then he would work hard to achieve one's trust. Once the closet racist has a satisfactory relationship with the individual, he can then do the kind of things to the person that look abusive to outsiders, but to the black, wealthy man, he doesn't feel that anything is wrong with how he thinks or what he does to self and others all in the name of the dollar bill. The poor man has a limited view on what abuse looks like. Therefore, if it doesn't look like his painful past, then it isn't so bad.
Think of the many broken, black men and women who run into the arms of everyone who doesn't even come close to looking like anyone in their own family. To be fair, let's assume that the idea of being with someone who looks like one's relatives make these run-away blacks feel uncomfortable. But what if these same blacks grew up with the kind of programming from parents or guardians that preached something like, "Our people ain't sh*t and will never be sh*t! Go find you someone, anyone, but one of our people!" Then it would be fair to assume that there is more going on in these run-away blacks minds besides just loving someone for who they are. Although most parents wouldn't say something so harsh to their sons and daughters; however, if they desire to communicate a similar message, they know how to do it by isolating themselves from people who look like "those people."
Some of my readers have been abused and used for their looks, money, power, connections, and more and for some, they never bothered to think of how they got here from there. But I will tell you, somewhere along the way, there was a rebellious spirit that rose up within you that didn't want to listen to authority and didn't care what anyone thought about your life choices. When you used and abused others whether emotionally and/or physically, someone or a group came along to use and abuse you. The cycle keeps going until someone checks his or her ignorant mindset and puts off negative programming from childhood. How many times have you bailed someone out of financial trouble, car trouble, jail trouble, job trouble, mama and 'em trouble? You are being used. How often is someone name-calling, shoving, threatening, or doing other things that hurt you? You are being abused. Are there times when someone is mentioning something about the color of your skin and how it benefits you? Does this person seem jealous?
Whatever your skin tone or someone else's doesn't give you or someone you know the right to use it and abuse it for selfish gain. Whatever is in your bank account (or someone else's) doesn't give you the right to brag about your wealth (or someone else's) and think that there are no consequences. The day a person realizes they are being abused and used, is the day that they will start cutting away and cutting off.
I have personally witnessed African American men and women who cried broke, with wealth in their bank accounts while asking others to help them for free or at a significant discount, then one day these same people experienced financial hardship. Users and abusers seek others to assist them with everything from errands to bills all in the name of so-called "love" and "family." They used their speech to persuade, their private parts to please, and their beauty to lure the gullible, the Christian, the broken, and the "Easy."
Some of our black relatives, exes, friends, and enemies used what they learned from childhood programming to strategically build a bridge leading to "white" money (whether through marriage, theft, lying, kissing a##, snitching, selling out, etc.) while denouncing most things black--the music okay, black connections and community not so much! For some blacks, they have such a hatred for their own kind that they would throw them under the bus if they could while pretending that they are not what you see. Then there are those who are victims, played like a fiddle. I was once one of them, used because of what a name represented, admired for skin tone, and then abused because of the same skin tone, disrespected because I was more educated and spiritual...and what hurt the most is when it is your own people who do you wrong.
And so life being black goes on...
Nicholl McGuire
If he should meet a spoiled one in the group, he deems the whole group as "No good, you can't trust them. I would never date their daughters..." It's unfortunate but some naysayers will abuse the ones they don't like much until they can be with the one or group that they like more. They seek out "a type" or special preference above others just so that they can obtain and keep favor, wealth, and more with the favored individual or group. These selfish manipulators know that lying, covering up, cheating, and doing negative things to the unsuspecting is wrong, but what do they care? Their greatest concern is getting their needs met. For example, if a white man (who doesn't particularly care for black, brown or any other ethnicity but his own) finds that an award-winning, financially successful black individual is going to benefit him, then he would work hard to achieve one's trust. Once the closet racist has a satisfactory relationship with the individual, he can then do the kind of things to the person that look abusive to outsiders, but to the black, wealthy man, he doesn't feel that anything is wrong with how he thinks or what he does to self and others all in the name of the dollar bill. The poor man has a limited view on what abuse looks like. Therefore, if it doesn't look like his painful past, then it isn't so bad.
Think of the many broken, black men and women who run into the arms of everyone who doesn't even come close to looking like anyone in their own family. To be fair, let's assume that the idea of being with someone who looks like one's relatives make these run-away blacks feel uncomfortable. But what if these same blacks grew up with the kind of programming from parents or guardians that preached something like, "Our people ain't sh*t and will never be sh*t! Go find you someone, anyone, but one of our people!" Then it would be fair to assume that there is more going on in these run-away blacks minds besides just loving someone for who they are. Although most parents wouldn't say something so harsh to their sons and daughters; however, if they desire to communicate a similar message, they know how to do it by isolating themselves from people who look like "those people."
Some of my readers have been abused and used for their looks, money, power, connections, and more and for some, they never bothered to think of how they got here from there. But I will tell you, somewhere along the way, there was a rebellious spirit that rose up within you that didn't want to listen to authority and didn't care what anyone thought about your life choices. When you used and abused others whether emotionally and/or physically, someone or a group came along to use and abuse you. The cycle keeps going until someone checks his or her ignorant mindset and puts off negative programming from childhood. How many times have you bailed someone out of financial trouble, car trouble, jail trouble, job trouble, mama and 'em trouble? You are being used. How often is someone name-calling, shoving, threatening, or doing other things that hurt you? You are being abused. Are there times when someone is mentioning something about the color of your skin and how it benefits you? Does this person seem jealous?
Whatever your skin tone or someone else's doesn't give you or someone you know the right to use it and abuse it for selfish gain. Whatever is in your bank account (or someone else's) doesn't give you the right to brag about your wealth (or someone else's) and think that there are no consequences. The day a person realizes they are being abused and used, is the day that they will start cutting away and cutting off.
I have personally witnessed African American men and women who cried broke, with wealth in their bank accounts while asking others to help them for free or at a significant discount, then one day these same people experienced financial hardship. Users and abusers seek others to assist them with everything from errands to bills all in the name of so-called "love" and "family." They used their speech to persuade, their private parts to please, and their beauty to lure the gullible, the Christian, the broken, and the "Easy."
Some of our black relatives, exes, friends, and enemies used what they learned from childhood programming to strategically build a bridge leading to "white" money (whether through marriage, theft, lying, kissing a##, snitching, selling out, etc.) while denouncing most things black--the music okay, black connections and community not so much! For some blacks, they have such a hatred for their own kind that they would throw them under the bus if they could while pretending that they are not what you see. Then there are those who are victims, played like a fiddle. I was once one of them, used because of what a name represented, admired for skin tone, and then abused because of the same skin tone, disrespected because I was more educated and spiritual...and what hurt the most is when it is your own people who do you wrong.
And so life being black goes on...
Nicholl McGuire
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