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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Saturday

Dead End, Abusive Relationships All in the Name of Black

He, a black man, told what he called his, "Mocha, Loveboat, Shawty"  that he loved her just the other day after he hit her repeatedly because she was talking to a man.  She, also known as, Sweet told her man of five plus years that she was his "ride or die chick" after scaring him with a knife.  Crazy people in so-called love do crazy things.  Frequent yelling and cursing, cheating, lying/covering up truth, fighting, or simply being unavailable emotionally or physically is abusive.  Staying with someone, who might put you in jail one day, just because the pickings are slim where you are from when it comes to black men and women is crazy!  

Days or even weeks of disrespecting a person will create an intense environment that might result in repeated emotional or physically abusive episodes.  Claiming to love someone while flirting and/or having sex (or wishing to be with another) is setting yourself up for unnecessary drama in your household.  It doesn't matter who started what, who is to blame, or what they said or did in the past, retaliation will only get someone hurt.

How long will a sweet woman live in misery before she turns sour?  How long will a couple lie to one another about where they have been and who they have been seeing before one or both starts walking around with bruises on their bodies as a result of physically fighting one another?

As much as you wish to keep someone close to you or far away depending on the situation you or someone you know might be in, it is up to you to stay in control of your life--not theirs.  You can't make anyone love you, like you, or want to be with you for always--no matter how hard you try.

I have learned after years of watching men and women within my family and outside of it that no matter what some do, you can't keep a troubled mind acting right.  You can suggest counseling, buy gifts, create a stress-free atmosphere, snitch and let the police take that person away, leave the person repeatedly...only to find yourself one day asking, "Why am I here?"

No mentally disturbed individual on the face of this earth is worth giving the best of who you are or what you have become!  No excuses will hide crazy.  No prayer will cure the ones that God has not chosen.  When the writing is on the wall, we survivors know, to read it and then prepare to follow the directions.

Before the year is out, listen to that wise spirit within and make the kind of decisions that will free you from a dead end relationship.  Avoid those feelings that tell you to stay, because "there is no good black men...I don't know if I could ever find a black woman that will do XYZ like her...."--no one is worth the kind of drama that robs your peace of mind.  There are others--better than the familiar spirit that keeps one on his or her knees hoping, wishing and praying even God turns a deaf ear to some folks.

Nicholl McGuire      
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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