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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Thursday

Threatening, Controlling Folks and the Family Who Loves Them

Those that have never experienced living with, dating, or dealing with the drunk, foolish, drug addicted, or just plain crazy in the family just don't get it.  Why do women stay?  Why does a good man put up with a bad woman?  Why is a seemingly good couple always at each other's throat?  Why do the children have to suffer like that?

The mentally ill just can't help themselves.  The more they reason, "I'm okay, it's them!" the sicker they are.  The evidence of their sickness shows up in eyes, a walk, a talk, a bank account, a one night stand, in the household, at the church and even on the job that someone we love is just not well.  All some relatives and friends know how to do is make excuses for the mentally and physically ill, while talking about what they wish they could do or what they think "The Problem" should do. 

When one's demons has riddled a troubled mind, there is no reasoning.  He is going to fight you when you say, "You are sick and you need to get help!"  She is going to rationalize that what she is doing to herself and family is really not bothering anyone.  The sick will place the blame on the accuser, "It's because of you I'm this way...if it wasn't for...maybe none of this would have happened."  If the mentally troubled isn't blaming, they are pretending that everything is okay and "don't worry about it.  You got other people and things to be concerned about, I'm good."  Really!?

Loved ones will stick it out with the physically abusive, mentally controlling, verbally assaulting, and the motor mouth talking, because "I love him, things will get better.  I know she can be bad, but that's my girl.  We've been through worse."  But there comes a point in any relationship where the hand-holding, sexing, excuse-making, and everything else has to stop.  Even the God above will tell you, "Stop, there is nothing else you can do."  When the writing is on the wall, one had better listen unless he or she wants to hit rock bottom too. 

Energy sappers will suck the life out of you, pull you and everything connected to you down in the hole with them.  Before long, you have little money to take care of your own family, you owe far too many creditors, you find yourself avoiding certain people for fear that someone else's issues might become yours, all the while trying to persuade yourself that things will get better when deep inside we know they won't remain that way for long.

When you finally awake to the nightmare of a troubled loved one and realize that you can't run anymore, that is when you attempt to awaken others, but enablers don't want to hear it.  People who justify every wrong, help relatives and friends kill relationships, self and so on--while exaggerating the few nice things that a problematic relative does--will not face the fact that someone in the family has major issues that need to be dealt with or else.  The key is making that "or else" real and handling that "what will happen if I don't" rebuttal that the mentally ill like to throwback.

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic.  Check out videos/audios of her work on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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