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Wednesday

Does My Being Black Have Something to Do With It?

Call it insecurity, curiousity, or just plain worry, but that strange feeling that creeps up on you after you had a good time with some non-blacks at work or elsewhere, can come up out of nowhere.

Let's say, you exchanged phone numbers with some folks of a different ethnicity and they promised to do lunch.  You are excited to have met some interesting people and could care less about their skin color, how they speak, where they are from, etc.  As time passes, the phone is silent.  The email is empty.  You never get the lunch date for one reason or another.  You see the same people on a different day and their mannerisms are a little less friendly.  What happened?

Being black usually doesn't have anything to do with why people say one thing and do another, people are just busy.  If you don't follow up with phone calls and emails, you rarely see new friends, and you are involved with many things yourself, then you just might be forgotten.  However, sometimes this tends to happen for some people because we must admit, the world still has some prejudice folks in it.

You might have been good company for the moment, but for someone with hang-ups about black people, culture, and maybe even a few in their family they don't like, they really don't want to be bothered.  But the only way you will truly be certain that someone is indeed "playing you" because you are black, you will have to spend some time contacting the individual and if there isn't any love coming back, then you know where you stand with him or her.  If you get to know the individual somewhat and you feel as if this person doesn't really "get you" or often feels uncomfortable or nervous, then he or she just might have some issues.  A person who really thinks there is a connection with another will call, write back or show some online love.  But you will need to have some common interests to start and maintain a friendship just like you would if you met a relative for the first time, a date, a co-worker, etc.

As much as we would like to forget about one's skin color, lifestyle, customs, and more, they are there.  You can't get around them.  Sooner or later something will be said or done that will cause you to think, "Does my being black have something to do with it?"

Nicholl McGuire  is the author of Tell Me Mother You're Sorry on Blurb.com

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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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