Some people just don't anticipate what might occur when dating outside of their ethnicity. They assume that everyone is the same and overlook the potential challenges. They convince themselves that racial issues will never be an issue--that is until one reminds some of these naïve folks of who they are.
As much as we all would love to live in a world as one big happy family, it ain't happening! There will always be some situation, system, or snide remark that will anger a black man or woman to the point that they can't see their non-black lover in the next room while they are running off the mouth. Just a friendly reminder, your non-black partner can't relate!
I recall a time when I had experienced a prejudice moment with someone and I was fuming. I went home to my white boyfriend at the time tripping out. He didn't know what to say. He looked confused. He sat there. He reminded me he was white. I think I got a wake up call that very moment. Why was I acting so emotional about being black and why was I trying to make a non-black person understand what was going on within? I had a reality check. I had been lost in a sea of not wanting to be anything but a person that I forgot about racial bias, ignorance, disharmony, etc. I had taken a sabbatical into a land where people who date outside of their ethnicity go when they don't want to deal with something that they have been repeatedly reminded about, "You are black."
Being black isn't just a skin tone, but a lifestyle. It is a complicated culture that redefines itself when we get mixed up in everyone else's worlds. Then when we start to lose our ground, we want to come back home. I've been home for over 20 plus years and I haven't left. But I recall the need to want to draw on all things black while being in love with someone non-black. I remember wanting to read all things black. I didn't forget times when I loved being around like-minded black folks far more than I did with others. There is indeed something unique within when you just know that there is a black void developing as you connect deeper and deeper with someone who just might be leading you away from what you always knew to be black.
Nicholl McGuire
As much as we all would love to live in a world as one big happy family, it ain't happening! There will always be some situation, system, or snide remark that will anger a black man or woman to the point that they can't see their non-black lover in the next room while they are running off the mouth. Just a friendly reminder, your non-black partner can't relate!
I recall a time when I had experienced a prejudice moment with someone and I was fuming. I went home to my white boyfriend at the time tripping out. He didn't know what to say. He looked confused. He sat there. He reminded me he was white. I think I got a wake up call that very moment. Why was I acting so emotional about being black and why was I trying to make a non-black person understand what was going on within? I had a reality check. I had been lost in a sea of not wanting to be anything but a person that I forgot about racial bias, ignorance, disharmony, etc. I had taken a sabbatical into a land where people who date outside of their ethnicity go when they don't want to deal with something that they have been repeatedly reminded about, "You are black."
Being black isn't just a skin tone, but a lifestyle. It is a complicated culture that redefines itself when we get mixed up in everyone else's worlds. Then when we start to lose our ground, we want to come back home. I've been home for over 20 plus years and I haven't left. But I recall the need to want to draw on all things black while being in love with someone non-black. I remember wanting to read all things black. I didn't forget times when I loved being around like-minded black folks far more than I did with others. There is indeed something unique within when you just know that there is a black void developing as you connect deeper and deeper with someone who just might be leading you away from what you always knew to be black.
Nicholl McGuire
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