Thursday
Tuesday
The Blame Game - When It's Always Them and Not that One You're Talking To
When you date or get married, you are connecting with people who most likely have stories like you of heartbreak, triumph, ruin, and more. However, when all you keep hearing in someone's conversation is what "they did" and "how they made me" and "I can't stand them..." you have to wonder who is really at fault?
I will be the first to admit that I was slow in my youth when it came to figuring people out. I would smile and laugh at some harsh things they said even when I didn't always want to. I would wish all might be well with these folks even when I knew they were in the wrong and my connecting with them wasn't meant to be. The writing is usually on the wall when you first meet people. But too often we talk ourselves out of what we know to be true.
The blame game is key to identifying exactly what type of person you are connecting yourself with. He or she is sooner or later going to blame you for something whether they are subtle with their accusations (right or wrong) or bold.
Petty people refuse to step up to the plate even when they know a situation is out of character for someone. They prefer to remain critical, bewildered, or just plain rude toward an individual. Many of these people who often play the blame game are insecure and uncaring. In addition, they do not hold themselves accountable to anyone or anything. You are often wrong and they are always right.
If you should find yourself friendly with someone who likes to talk badly about others, keep in mind it is only a matter of time that their evil words or worse hands will tempt you. Recognize the signs, stay guarded and distant. You can easily do these things by keeping busy.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, When Mothers Cry, Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, She's Crazy and more.
I will be the first to admit that I was slow in my youth when it came to figuring people out. I would smile and laugh at some harsh things they said even when I didn't always want to. I would wish all might be well with these folks even when I knew they were in the wrong and my connecting with them wasn't meant to be. The writing is usually on the wall when you first meet people. But too often we talk ourselves out of what we know to be true.
The blame game is key to identifying exactly what type of person you are connecting yourself with. He or she is sooner or later going to blame you for something whether they are subtle with their accusations (right or wrong) or bold.
Petty people refuse to step up to the plate even when they know a situation is out of character for someone. They prefer to remain critical, bewildered, or just plain rude toward an individual. Many of these people who often play the blame game are insecure and uncaring. In addition, they do not hold themselves accountable to anyone or anything. You are often wrong and they are always right.
If you should find yourself friendly with someone who likes to talk badly about others, keep in mind it is only a matter of time that their evil words or worse hands will tempt you. Recognize the signs, stay guarded and distant. You can easily do these things by keeping busy.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic, When Mothers Cry, Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, She's Crazy and more.
Thursday
7 Tips You Just Might Want to Consider if Visiting With Family During the Holidays
Sometimes prior to meeting with family, we need to take a pause, self-reflect and pray. There will be those in the group who will have their share of challenges. So here are seven things to keep in mind.
1. Some relatives have undiagnosed mental health issues. They will not change without some additional help so we either deal with them or we don't. There is no set rule that you or your family members have to tolerate someone who refuses to deal with his or her issues.
2. Not everyone likes or loves being around one another especially around the holiday, so respect it.
3. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that a child isn't grieving a beloved relative especially during holidays, so be compassionate.
4. You are not the only one who doesn't want to be bothered, so stay home.
5. If there was ever a good time to practice what your minister preached to you is during family events like that speech he gave the congregation about guard your mouths for starters.
6. Never assume that because you did someone a favor it will be returned by the same person, but don't assume he or she won't ever think of you either. You never know who might surprise you!
7. The true definition of "family" is up to the individual, so avoid judgment especially when you nor I were there during critical times in their lives.
When we think of others' plights rather than how people make us feel, we aren't so easily upset and are better able to deal with challenging situations.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Should I Go to the Party? and other books. You can listen to wise teachings here.
1. Some relatives have undiagnosed mental health issues. They will not change without some additional help so we either deal with them or we don't. There is no set rule that you or your family members have to tolerate someone who refuses to deal with his or her issues.
2. Not everyone likes or loves being around one another especially around the holiday, so respect it.
3. There isn't a day that doesn't go by that a child isn't grieving a beloved relative especially during holidays, so be compassionate.
4. You are not the only one who doesn't want to be bothered, so stay home.
5. If there was ever a good time to practice what your minister preached to you is during family events like that speech he gave the congregation about guard your mouths for starters.
6. Never assume that because you did someone a favor it will be returned by the same person, but don't assume he or she won't ever think of you either. You never know who might surprise you!
7. The true definition of "family" is up to the individual, so avoid judgment especially when you nor I were there during critical times in their lives.
When we think of others' plights rather than how people make us feel, we aren't so easily upset and are better able to deal with challenging situations.
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Should I Go to the Party? and other books. You can listen to wise teachings here.
Wednesday
He Doesn't Have to Hit You to Be Abusive
Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate: He Doesn't Have to Hit You to Be Abusive: When most people think of abuse in a marriage, they naturally figure that the man is beating the woman (in some cases, the woman actuall...
Thursday
Thank You Readers - A Word from African American View Blog Owner
I just wanted to take this moment to thank the contributors of this blog and all those who have shared their entries. I am so glad that so many believers have found it useful. I look forward to a blessed year!
At this time we are welcoming any contributors who would like to be featured for African American related experiences from relationships to business experiences. Also any individual or business who would like to purchase ad space, do make contact.
Feel free to reply to this post or contact me at nichollmcguire@gmail.com
Nicholl McGuire is the manager of this blog, a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and business owner originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has been a featured guest on television and radio talk shows such as CBS and WPXI Channel 11.
At this time we are welcoming any contributors who would like to be featured for African American related experiences from relationships to business experiences. Also any individual or business who would like to purchase ad space, do make contact.
Feel free to reply to this post or contact me at nichollmcguire@gmail.com
Nicholl McGuire is the manager of this blog, a self-published author, inspirational speaker, and business owner originally from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has been a featured guest on television and radio talk shows such as CBS and WPXI Channel 11.
Wednesday
Shelter, Food, and Bills Paid - The False Internet Romance that Leads to Forced Commitment
So many successful women are being manipulated into dating and marrying men whose sole intentions were to meet them and then eventually use them to get back on their feet only to later move on with their lives. If these women object in some way, they are persuaded or in some cases forced by various power and control tactics to do what their abusers want or else.
Cheating ways, a leopard doesn't change his spots, now does he?! These gullible women who meet pimps, players and hustlers cloaked in sheep clothing (whether online or offline), assume they are being wined and dined into a long lasting relationship. Sometimes the courtship ends up turning into a relationship that lasts for some years (and may not lead to a marriage), but the quality of that connection ends up lacking becoming nothing more than a dysfunctional mess! Why? Because from the start of the dating process it was never truly authentic.
Consider what a date has told you about his past or current situation. Avoid pitying the individual and look at what might he stand to gain from connecting with you or someone else. The list might be long or short, but whatever you learn about this person--no matter how long you have been with him or her, take heed.
What gives for some ladies to see the light? Does it take a slap, a choke, emotional abuse, ruined credit, multiple pregnancies, STDs, wrecked vehicles, or laziness from an irresponsible man--what gives? These women are warned by discerning family members and friends. But these offended ladies will then ignore wise counsel and then falsely accuse messengers of things like being jealous or disrespecting them and their choices in partners. Of course, in most situations this is clearly not the case. Rather a concerned parent or friend just sees the writing on the wall whereas the one who is blinded by lust, sees nothing!
Slow rising costs to live on planet earth only creates more desperate people with clever plans to get needs met. For some opportunistic individuals they will search for those who will release them from situations like living with difficult relatives, high debt, and other things they need to address. Rather than be straightforward, the pimp, player or hustler type will sweet talk his (or her) way into getting a warm place to stay, groceries bought and bills paid.
Love isn't in the air for many individuals who are masters at taking others for granted. Sooner or later, they are found out and those who finally wake up will eventually send the guilty ones on their way!
Don't be or stay a victim! And if you play where you stay (or elsewhere) be advised that one you have hurt will retaliate in some way.
God bless.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 and she also wrote Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
Cheating ways, a leopard doesn't change his spots, now does he?! These gullible women who meet pimps, players and hustlers cloaked in sheep clothing (whether online or offline), assume they are being wined and dined into a long lasting relationship. Sometimes the courtship ends up turning into a relationship that lasts for some years (and may not lead to a marriage), but the quality of that connection ends up lacking becoming nothing more than a dysfunctional mess! Why? Because from the start of the dating process it was never truly authentic.
Consider what a date has told you about his past or current situation. Avoid pitying the individual and look at what might he stand to gain from connecting with you or someone else. The list might be long or short, but whatever you learn about this person--no matter how long you have been with him or her, take heed.
What gives for some ladies to see the light? Does it take a slap, a choke, emotional abuse, ruined credit, multiple pregnancies, STDs, wrecked vehicles, or laziness from an irresponsible man--what gives? These women are warned by discerning family members and friends. But these offended ladies will then ignore wise counsel and then falsely accuse messengers of things like being jealous or disrespecting them and their choices in partners. Of course, in most situations this is clearly not the case. Rather a concerned parent or friend just sees the writing on the wall whereas the one who is blinded by lust, sees nothing!
Slow rising costs to live on planet earth only creates more desperate people with clever plans to get needs met. For some opportunistic individuals they will search for those who will release them from situations like living with difficult relatives, high debt, and other things they need to address. Rather than be straightforward, the pimp, player or hustler type will sweet talk his (or her) way into getting a warm place to stay, groceries bought and bills paid.
Love isn't in the air for many individuals who are masters at taking others for granted. Sooner or later, they are found out and those who finally wake up will eventually send the guilty ones on their way!
Don't be or stay a victim! And if you play where you stay (or elsewhere) be advised that one you have hurt will retaliate in some way.
God bless.
Nicholl McGuire shares spiritual insight on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 and she also wrote Too Much, Too Soon Internet Dating Blues
Tuesday
Tis the Season for Mama's Foolishness
When I started writing Tell Me Mother You're Sorry was a few months after completing a memoir about my grandmother in 2015. The information that I received from her over the years, dating as far back as childhood prior to attending school, was the inspiration for this self-help guide.
I still love my deceased and well-respected grandmother and miss her dearly, but she was a master at persuading people to get her needs met and not always fairly or nicely--she was almost too good at times in getting things done her way when she was younger especially during holidays.
At times, this woman would quite boldly tell me what her intentions were with some family members and I laughed and didn't think much about what she was doing. As far as I was concerned if game couldn't peep game, you got what you deserved! I for one was a victim for a long time, but woke up! The woman, who was also a serious prayer warrior, exposed some regrets and cautioned me about people playing me toward the end of her life and why I shouldn't behave in certain ways with my own children.
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry is a powerful self-help guide written not to bash mothers (I am one), but created to teach what should have been taught by wise women in many families, How Not to Manipulate Your Children. There is a lot of mind-controlled adult sons and daughters that can break programming based on the content in my book. However, it is such a pity that many children and grandchildren are too blind to see when game is being run on them from the "I won't always be here" guilt-trip to using others to punish you for not doing for Mama.
Open up this blueprint that exposes mother manipulation not just in some black families but in communities around the world! Get Tell Me Mother You're Sorry today and be one step ahead of the game! Just when you think you know those controlling, needy, or crazy women in your life, you get sucked in again and again!
The holidays are always a perfect time for deceptive Mamas, Mothers, Mommies and anyone else with a mother or grandmother role to play mind games such as: the guilt trips about visiting their homes, buying gifts for them, using purchases or lack thereof to show favor between siblings, bad-mouthing relatives and in-laws, and most of all exercising power and control tactics to keep children under thumb.
Some of you reading this are probably already deceived and partners are looking at you like, "You fell for your mother's tricks again!"
Far too many families have been divided behind many toxic mothers, step-mothers, and mother-in-laws who were taught by their tricky grandmothers, aunts and other manipulators with huge attitudes, egos and possibly wallets too!
Wake up Black Family--wake up! And if you married into a black family, you really need a wake up call! This book might save you much time, energy and money in the future. Remember, game knows game and if you are running it, a clever Queen with an ugly heart will reverse the script-- getting everyone around them to sooner or later break the victim down mentally, physically or possibly spiritually.
SPECIAL NOTE: Don't buy this book for the manipulative mother, she doesn't need any more ideas--lol!
Nicholl McGuire's book may be downloaded with free samples here or purchased in print here.
I still love my deceased and well-respected grandmother and miss her dearly, but she was a master at persuading people to get her needs met and not always fairly or nicely--she was almost too good at times in getting things done her way when she was younger especially during holidays. At times, this woman would quite boldly tell me what her intentions were with some family members and I laughed and didn't think much about what she was doing. As far as I was concerned if game couldn't peep game, you got what you deserved! I for one was a victim for a long time, but woke up! The woman, who was also a serious prayer warrior, exposed some regrets and cautioned me about people playing me toward the end of her life and why I shouldn't behave in certain ways with my own children.
Tell Me Mother You're Sorry is a powerful self-help guide written not to bash mothers (I am one), but created to teach what should have been taught by wise women in many families, How Not to Manipulate Your Children. There is a lot of mind-controlled adult sons and daughters that can break programming based on the content in my book. However, it is such a pity that many children and grandchildren are too blind to see when game is being run on them from the "I won't always be here" guilt-trip to using others to punish you for not doing for Mama.
Open up this blueprint that exposes mother manipulation not just in some black families but in communities around the world! Get Tell Me Mother You're Sorry today and be one step ahead of the game! Just when you think you know those controlling, needy, or crazy women in your life, you get sucked in again and again!
The holidays are always a perfect time for deceptive Mamas, Mothers, Mommies and anyone else with a mother or grandmother role to play mind games such as: the guilt trips about visiting their homes, buying gifts for them, using purchases or lack thereof to show favor between siblings, bad-mouthing relatives and in-laws, and most of all exercising power and control tactics to keep children under thumb.
Some of you reading this are probably already deceived and partners are looking at you like, "You fell for your mother's tricks again!"
Far too many families have been divided behind many toxic mothers, step-mothers, and mother-in-laws who were taught by their tricky grandmothers, aunts and other manipulators with huge attitudes, egos and possibly wallets too!
Wake up Black Family--wake up! And if you married into a black family, you really need a wake up call! This book might save you much time, energy and money in the future. Remember, game knows game and if you are running it, a clever Queen with an ugly heart will reverse the script-- getting everyone around them to sooner or later break the victim down mentally, physically or possibly spiritually.
SPECIAL NOTE: Don't buy this book for the manipulative mother, she doesn't need any more ideas--lol!
Nicholl McGuire's book may be downloaded with free samples here or purchased in print here.
Sunday
Feeling Pressured to Buy for Family, See Family, and Do for Family During the Holidays?
Be free today! No drama!
No attitude toward children who resist going over relatives' homes for the holidays!
See the writing on the wall...
No attitude toward children who resist going over relatives' homes for the holidays!
See the writing on the wall...
Thursday
Chronic Jealousy Exposed: Some Black Americans Just Don't Get It
Don't agree with the header? Then good for you, because chances are you don't bother with the eye-rolling, deep sighing, stare you up and down type who blurts out how he or she truly feels about you doing well in your business, with your family or anywhere else. With a head tilted to the side or looking down on you, "Hmmm. That's nice...I guess you did okay. Good for you." or they are quiet, so quiet that if you deliver news over the phone you have to ask, "Are you there?"
Congratulations to those who have completely severed ties from envious relatives and friends so that you can prosper in life. But for those who haven't, you have your work cut out for you if you really want to be delivered from jealous emotions. Ask yourself, "Why can't you be happy for others?"
I have a little more cutting away to do myself. Facebook created reunions with a simple click of a button and then I was quickly reminded why some folks were not supposed to be back in my social circle. So glad to see the restrictions and limitations on the site--they are godsend!
I specifically address jealous black folks because I am an African American woman who sees a pattern with many professionals and not-so professionals. In addition, I was influenced during my teen years by envious black (and white too) relatives and friends. There are a lot of jealousy related issues that many black folks will never completely reveal to psychologists, social workers, or even members of their own family. Years of pent up envy! The negative seeds provided by whoever, whether parents or guardians favoring other children or intimate relationship problems, they grew into roots, and those roots cultivated weeds and sprouted everywhere from workplace dramas to television reality shows.
That "attitude" people like to speak of that many black men and women have is directly rooted in jealous emotions. Someone does better than another, the negative statements and cold-bloodied behavior starts to arise and then it spits out covertly or overtly dysfunctional stuff from narcissism to passive-aggressive foolishness! People stop talking to the one they are envious of, they don't want to celebrate their achievements for no apparent reason or for an imagined one, and they can't part their lips to treat the individual well. But they will put a genuine smile on their face or laugh boldly when the individual is failing at something.
Husbands are jealous of wives and vice versa in some of these dysfunctional relationships and then throw in control issues as well. A partner can't achieve much because his wife or her husband is putting up all sorts of blocks. "We can't do that Baby, tell them...I'm sorry I can't help with...I want to be close to my family...You know I love you, but I don't want you doing that... What about my job...Do you have to take that offer?" Years of declining and denying for a partner and what happens? The successful partner is working a job that is beneath him or her and broke as a joke!
Then there are those relatives who compliment others far too much (they are usually the pretenders) or not at all. The new house, car, boat, designer clothes, jewelry, and other purchases can't be mentioned to some loved ones due to overt almost abusive types of jealousy while making a scene to shame someone. "That boat ain't that big...My cousin's house is bigger than that...Why ya'll waste money on all that stuff? Your car is better than mine?"
Throw in those jealous and blaming friends who are often bad-mouthing whenever someone in the group is distancing his or herself from them to achieve goals. "Why is he acting like that...I remember when we were so close. You know it's that woman making him like that...I mean she is nice and all, pretty, you know educated...They got a big, beautiful home and nice-looking kids..." So what's the problem?
You see, jealous folks aren't happy for you, don't want you doing much more than what they are use to seeing you do, and when you are down and out, now they have time for you or if they need something they know how to pick up the phone.
Envious people look for something to go wrong in your relationship with them (as well as your personal and professional ones too) so that they have an excuse to say and do mean things to you as well as talk meanly about you behind your back to others.
People, who are not discerning of jealous people, don't realize that all their negative talk of someone is a result of their inferiority complex (low self esteem), poverty, or hurtful past experiences. Moms, grandmoms, dads, and grandads are just as guilty at times as the young people, so don't think for one minute you are safe with jealous elders. They should know better, but many still don't! Most individuals conversing with jealous folks aren't thinking beyond the scope of the topic when they should be asking their selves, "Well why would she talk badly about her daughter...her niece or nephew...Why is that so-called best friend talking so ugly about his boy?"
Then if you spend some time with the victims of the gossip, you will find out that the accusers are often jealous but the envious people have to come up with excuses to hide their evil emotions stirring within them.
You know when you have a problem with jealousy when the following happens:
1. You have trouble delivering someone a compliment.
2. You do much eye-rolling or deep sighing when someone, whether you know them or not, shares an achievement and the person is not the boastful type (So what is with the attitude)?
3. You know you have issues when you can't let a partner leave your presence without suspecting he or she is up to something (that is if the individual hasn't cheated before, but if he or she has then it is understandable why you would feel insecure).
4. You notice yourself finding fault with anything a person does whether it is artwork, a shopping purchase, or who they select as friends.
5. If you could tell the person how you really feel about all the good things happening to them, you would make yourself sick. (You probably did once and still regret opening your big mouth when you should have been quiet).
One way you can get over jealous emotions is to create a long list of the things you hope to achieve in life and focus on them and not people on Facebook and elsewhere. If you are busy taking care of your business, why worry over what someone else is achieving, where they are going, or who they are talking to?
Live in the "now" and not what your past told you about people, places, and things. Take control over your mind when it wanders into old memories that upset you. Tell yourself, "I will not think like that today...I need to start appreciating others...Put more love, joy and peace in my heart God!"
The problem with many chronic jealous black folks is they are wired with ignorant programming passed down from individuals who didn't bother to improve themselves, could care less about education, and was far too concerned about showing off like how they styled their hair, what cars they drive, and how they clothe themselves; rather than work on the issues going on inside them.
You can obtain new wiring and make a difference in your life and the lives of others if this work describes you, but if not, share it with someone who does reference. Start listening to positive, inspirational music that celebrates your life. Put your eyes into a good book or moving documentary that moves you toward a path of healing and bettering your sense of self!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, She's Crazy and other books.
Congratulations to those who have completely severed ties from envious relatives and friends so that you can prosper in life. But for those who haven't, you have your work cut out for you if you really want to be delivered from jealous emotions. Ask yourself, "Why can't you be happy for others?"
I have a little more cutting away to do myself. Facebook created reunions with a simple click of a button and then I was quickly reminded why some folks were not supposed to be back in my social circle. So glad to see the restrictions and limitations on the site--they are godsend!
I specifically address jealous black folks because I am an African American woman who sees a pattern with many professionals and not-so professionals. In addition, I was influenced during my teen years by envious black (and white too) relatives and friends. There are a lot of jealousy related issues that many black folks will never completely reveal to psychologists, social workers, or even members of their own family. Years of pent up envy! The negative seeds provided by whoever, whether parents or guardians favoring other children or intimate relationship problems, they grew into roots, and those roots cultivated weeds and sprouted everywhere from workplace dramas to television reality shows.
That "attitude" people like to speak of that many black men and women have is directly rooted in jealous emotions. Someone does better than another, the negative statements and cold-bloodied behavior starts to arise and then it spits out covertly or overtly dysfunctional stuff from narcissism to passive-aggressive foolishness! People stop talking to the one they are envious of, they don't want to celebrate their achievements for no apparent reason or for an imagined one, and they can't part their lips to treat the individual well. But they will put a genuine smile on their face or laugh boldly when the individual is failing at something.
Husbands are jealous of wives and vice versa in some of these dysfunctional relationships and then throw in control issues as well. A partner can't achieve much because his wife or her husband is putting up all sorts of blocks. "We can't do that Baby, tell them...I'm sorry I can't help with...I want to be close to my family...You know I love you, but I don't want you doing that... What about my job...Do you have to take that offer?" Years of declining and denying for a partner and what happens? The successful partner is working a job that is beneath him or her and broke as a joke!
Then there are those relatives who compliment others far too much (they are usually the pretenders) or not at all. The new house, car, boat, designer clothes, jewelry, and other purchases can't be mentioned to some loved ones due to overt almost abusive types of jealousy while making a scene to shame someone. "That boat ain't that big...My cousin's house is bigger than that...Why ya'll waste money on all that stuff? Your car is better than mine?"
Throw in those jealous and blaming friends who are often bad-mouthing whenever someone in the group is distancing his or herself from them to achieve goals. "Why is he acting like that...I remember when we were so close. You know it's that woman making him like that...I mean she is nice and all, pretty, you know educated...They got a big, beautiful home and nice-looking kids..." So what's the problem?
You see, jealous folks aren't happy for you, don't want you doing much more than what they are use to seeing you do, and when you are down and out, now they have time for you or if they need something they know how to pick up the phone.
Envious people look for something to go wrong in your relationship with them (as well as your personal and professional ones too) so that they have an excuse to say and do mean things to you as well as talk meanly about you behind your back to others.
People, who are not discerning of jealous people, don't realize that all their negative talk of someone is a result of their inferiority complex (low self esteem), poverty, or hurtful past experiences. Moms, grandmoms, dads, and grandads are just as guilty at times as the young people, so don't think for one minute you are safe with jealous elders. They should know better, but many still don't! Most individuals conversing with jealous folks aren't thinking beyond the scope of the topic when they should be asking their selves, "Well why would she talk badly about her daughter...her niece or nephew...Why is that so-called best friend talking so ugly about his boy?"
Then if you spend some time with the victims of the gossip, you will find out that the accusers are often jealous but the envious people have to come up with excuses to hide their evil emotions stirring within them.
You know when you have a problem with jealousy when the following happens:
1. You have trouble delivering someone a compliment.
2. You do much eye-rolling or deep sighing when someone, whether you know them or not, shares an achievement and the person is not the boastful type (So what is with the attitude)?
3. You know you have issues when you can't let a partner leave your presence without suspecting he or she is up to something (that is if the individual hasn't cheated before, but if he or she has then it is understandable why you would feel insecure).
4. You notice yourself finding fault with anything a person does whether it is artwork, a shopping purchase, or who they select as friends.
5. If you could tell the person how you really feel about all the good things happening to them, you would make yourself sick. (You probably did once and still regret opening your big mouth when you should have been quiet).
One way you can get over jealous emotions is to create a long list of the things you hope to achieve in life and focus on them and not people on Facebook and elsewhere. If you are busy taking care of your business, why worry over what someone else is achieving, where they are going, or who they are talking to?
Live in the "now" and not what your past told you about people, places, and things. Take control over your mind when it wanders into old memories that upset you. Tell yourself, "I will not think like that today...I need to start appreciating others...Put more love, joy and peace in my heart God!"
The problem with many chronic jealous black folks is they are wired with ignorant programming passed down from individuals who didn't bother to improve themselves, could care less about education, and was far too concerned about showing off like how they styled their hair, what cars they drive, and how they clothe themselves; rather than work on the issues going on inside them.
You can obtain new wiring and make a difference in your life and the lives of others if this work describes you, but if not, share it with someone who does reference. Start listening to positive, inspirational music that celebrates your life. Put your eyes into a good book or moving documentary that moves you toward a path of healing and bettering your sense of self!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of Socially Sweet Privately Cruel Abusive Men, She's Crazy and other books.
Wednesday
Conceited, Sexy and Crazy is Getting Old, Doesn't Look Good Contrary to Popular Belief
How many times are we going to see women (and men too) on networks like BET and elsewhere dressed in clothing too small for their body shapes while cursing or giving so-called advice on reality and television talk shows as if they are mentally stable and "...got it going on." What a joke! People who study and work with strange folks on the regular can see mental illness all over many of these shows. The only thing that many of these black people "got going on" are more sorry shows with lots of sorry examples of supposed successes that will be cancelled in a blink of an eye!
I seriously have grown weary of loud mouth, weave swinging, mouthy women who look like defective dolls. Body parts are all messed up from their heads to the soles of their feet. I am also tired of simps (fake pimps) not having too much to say about these poor role models of supposed women and those who want to be like them. Black folks don't mind supporting unintelligent stuff!
Another gripe I have with these so-called sexy (whorish looking) women on TV is that they are repeatedly lowering their standards for a paycheck. From musicians to reality TV showdummies, I mean divas, what more do we have to put up with before someone gets a bright idea to become an alchemist and take the evil on TV and turn it into something good that will ultimately raise the consciousness and morals of many ignorant black folks? If the thought crossed some of those non-blacks' minds that, "All black women like this sort of thing...all black women behave like that...all black women wear fake hair and act sassy..." sorry to bust your bubble, you aren't describing myself and others I know.
Replace the so-called TV real (which is really fake) with what is truly real such as: black folks making a dollar out of 85 cents kind of strategies, black folks trying to make ends meet by working together to build a franchise, black folks (preferably select entertainers with deep pockets) that give back each week to devastated communities and aid individuals, black folks who create movies and how they teach others to do the same, black folks with organizations and foundations that help children during the summer (like Pittsburgh Black Media Federation founded by Chris Moore), black folks hosting fabulous events all over the world, etc.
You get my point, something that goes beyond taking advantage of the mentally ill and putting them in the entertainment industry or taking decent people and turning them out. Also, we don't need to see unhealthy and mismatched celebrity relationships being showcased as strong (we know better)some of us lived those already with no money, power and fame (sigh) or hear about more dismal and ineffective opportunities, movements, and promises that lead no where but to more black holes and dead ends. Conceited, Sexy and Crazy have been nothing more than a distraction from real problems that need real solutions--"Just say No to ratchet programming!" Wake up people!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
I seriously have grown weary of loud mouth, weave swinging, mouthy women who look like defective dolls. Body parts are all messed up from their heads to the soles of their feet. I am also tired of simps (fake pimps) not having too much to say about these poor role models of supposed women and those who want to be like them. Black folks don't mind supporting unintelligent stuff!
Another gripe I have with these so-called sexy (whorish looking) women on TV is that they are repeatedly lowering their standards for a paycheck. From musicians to reality TV show
Replace the so-called TV real (which is really fake) with what is truly real such as: black folks making a dollar out of 85 cents kind of strategies, black folks trying to make ends meet by working together to build a franchise, black folks (preferably select entertainers with deep pockets) that give back each week to devastated communities and aid individuals, black folks who create movies and how they teach others to do the same, black folks with organizations and foundations that help children during the summer (like Pittsburgh Black Media Federation founded by Chris Moore), black folks hosting fabulous events all over the world, etc.
You get my point, something that goes beyond taking advantage of the mentally ill and putting them in the entertainment industry or taking decent people and turning them out. Also, we don't need to see unhealthy and mismatched celebrity relationships being showcased as strong (we know better)some of us lived those already with no money, power and fame (sigh) or hear about more dismal and ineffective opportunities, movements, and promises that lead no where but to more black holes and dead ends. Conceited, Sexy and Crazy have been nothing more than a distraction from real problems that need real solutions--"Just say No to ratchet programming!" Wake up people!
Nicholl McGuire is the author of When Mothers Cry and other books.
Tuesday
Monday
Friday
Support Businesses that Sell Products Catering to Your African American Needs
I am taking a moment to direct you to the right side of the screen. Under the header "Support Black Businesses" you will find some reputable companies that would love for you to visit. Feel free to contact the website owners and let them know you would like to shop their businesses, donate to causes, share their links, or purchase ad space.
God bless and happy holidays to you and yours!
Nicholl McGuire
African American Planet Blog Owner
God bless and happy holidays to you and yours!
Nicholl McGuire
African American Planet Blog Owner
Thursday
Wednesday
YouTuber and African American Planet Blog Owner Wishing You Hope, Healing and Happiness
With so much going on in the world, we sometimes feel like things are just not getting any better from trigger happy police officers to lack of money, it is enough to give you an attitude! But don't lose hope, just when you are ready to throw your hands up, that is when a blessing isn't that far away headed in your direction all-too-ready to make you smile.
Here's wishing you hope, healing and happiness now and into the New Year. We thank you so much for stopping by and sharing our posts. African American planet contributors most appreciate the traffic and I am grateful for everyone who stops by as well. Do check out the businesses at the top right of the screen and please do show your support.
If you haven't checked out my audio on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 as well as other places, please do listen. I offer a spiritual perspective on various issues affecting relationship, business, family, and parenting. Feel free to subscribe to my channel for the latest audio/video messages. YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
Interested in being featured on this site, feel free to reply to this blog entry or send email to nichollmcguire@gmail.com
Here's wishing you hope, healing and happiness now and into the New Year. We thank you so much for stopping by and sharing our posts. African American planet contributors most appreciate the traffic and I am grateful for everyone who stops by as well. Do check out the businesses at the top right of the screen and please do show your support.
If you haven't checked out my audio on YouTube channel: nmenterprise7 as well as other places, please do listen. I offer a spiritual perspective on various issues affecting relationship, business, family, and parenting. Feel free to subscribe to my channel for the latest audio/video messages. YouTube channel: nmenterprise7.
Interested in being featured on this site, feel free to reply to this blog entry or send email to nichollmcguire@gmail.com
Tuesday
Another Manufactured Issue: Mommy Wars: Stay-at-Home vs. Working Moms
Not only is there division created between black and white people by the media, but between African American mothers who stay at home and those who work outside the home. Don't fall for the "who is better" programming just do what makes you feel happy!
Some Black Folks Have No Understanding of What Being on Time Is
Blame the slavery mentality, being uneducated, poor, or ignorant, but whatever one chooses to blame, the truth is some of our people just don't have a respect for people's time.
Strolling in with a smile or a lame expression, a black man or woman with a habit of being late chooses not to see how his or her actions might be a problem for others. "Well, what had happened was...I was in traffic...I mean everyone else has been late!" This might be all true, but how many times in a week or even a day one must be late? An excuse about why he or she couldn't make it on time for a meeting, an important event, or ready to take a phone call, another excuse as to why documents are still not filed, and more.
Being late isn't so much a black thing as it is an irresponsible thing! Pride surely comes before a fall. One can't pull the race card when he or she is at fault. A boss or supervisor most likely wouldn't find any issues if there were none to find in the first place. Yet, some of our people just don't realize the negative impact they make over and over again for every time they apologize (or don't) for being tardy yet again. They also don't realize that frequent tardiness leads straight to career suicide.
Here are some tips on avoiding being late:
1. Make sure all necessary items are neat and organized the night before, so that when you awake the following day you aren't looking for anything or spending unnecessary time doing things that will cause you to be late.
2. Go to bed early! Seriously, you are setting yourself up to be late the following day watching show after show at night and eating all sorts of stuff too. You will not be mentally sharp and will complain about how tired you are--leadership and co-workers don't want to hear that.
3. Avoid watching TV, answering your phone (unless it is work related) or listening to music while you are getting ready in the morning. The more distractions you have, the less focused you are in getting out of your dwelling on time.
2. Plan to leave an hour or more early not minutes. Test run your route, check the Internet, and get an understanding of how long your commute really is to and from--don't go with what others tell you!Things might happen along the way and you don't want to be that one strolling in late because "Someone told you..."
3. If something should occur that causes you to be tardy, always call someone at the site, leave a voicemail and a text and if there is an additional person to contact, let that person know too.
4. Don't assume people will be understanding all the time especially if you suspect that some are indeed prejudice.
5. Save the long explanations. Be brief and get to your job immediately. Don't bring more attention on yourself by interrupting ongoing business.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog about workplace issues here.
Strolling in with a smile or a lame expression, a black man or woman with a habit of being late chooses not to see how his or her actions might be a problem for others. "Well, what had happened was...I was in traffic...I mean everyone else has been late!" This might be all true, but how many times in a week or even a day one must be late? An excuse about why he or she couldn't make it on time for a meeting, an important event, or ready to take a phone call, another excuse as to why documents are still not filed, and more.
Being late isn't so much a black thing as it is an irresponsible thing! Pride surely comes before a fall. One can't pull the race card when he or she is at fault. A boss or supervisor most likely wouldn't find any issues if there were none to find in the first place. Yet, some of our people just don't realize the negative impact they make over and over again for every time they apologize (or don't) for being tardy yet again. They also don't realize that frequent tardiness leads straight to career suicide.
Here are some tips on avoiding being late:
1. Make sure all necessary items are neat and organized the night before, so that when you awake the following day you aren't looking for anything or spending unnecessary time doing things that will cause you to be late.
2. Go to bed early! Seriously, you are setting yourself up to be late the following day watching show after show at night and eating all sorts of stuff too. You will not be mentally sharp and will complain about how tired you are--leadership and co-workers don't want to hear that.
3. Avoid watching TV, answering your phone (unless it is work related) or listening to music while you are getting ready in the morning. The more distractions you have, the less focused you are in getting out of your dwelling on time.
2. Plan to leave an hour or more early not minutes. Test run your route, check the Internet, and get an understanding of how long your commute really is to and from--don't go with what others tell you!Things might happen along the way and you don't want to be that one strolling in late because "Someone told you..."
3. If something should occur that causes you to be tardy, always call someone at the site, leave a voicemail and a text and if there is an additional person to contact, let that person know too.
4. Don't assume people will be understanding all the time especially if you suspect that some are indeed prejudice.
5. Save the long explanations. Be brief and get to your job immediately. Don't bring more attention on yourself by interrupting ongoing business.
Nicholl McGuire also maintains a blog about workplace issues here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.
