Welcome

This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Tuesday

What About Daddy? The African American Father is Accused of Not Being Bothered with His Children

I was talking to an older relative not that long ago about what I noticed when observing black men with their children and I was disappointed with what I saw.  Some were in their children's lives, but not really doing much with them.  Others were not in their children's lives and acted as if they had no children.  So the listener told me, "Oh, you didn't know?  Black men don't play with their children.  Take up time?  They don't do that." 

I must admit I was angered by what I saw and what the relative said.  Is this true?  Most black men don't have time for their children.  Is this something that non-blacks know and capitalize off of it?  Are those in powerful positions constantly at work to ensure that the black man doesn't have time for his children?

This wasn't one of those blame it on "The Man" moments for me, so I threw that thought out of my head.  It was evident upon closer inspection of my own personal experiences and others, that many, definitely not all, black men were not the kind that was going to get off the couch and play with the kids.  "I don't do that," one father told me.  He felt like bringing home the money was good enough.  So was this really an issue of laziness?

What is so difficult for a man, any man, to stop watching TV and go take the kids somewhere or get a ball, toy or game and just sit down and play with them or better yet teach them something school-related?  Now some men would say, "Well I take up time with my child.  We play video games.  We go places."  That's good for your household, but seriously that isn't enough.  But there are many men who rarely (if ever) do even that much!  Ask the single African American mothers who are raising little black boys and girls by themselves, Where is daddy and if he is around, what exactly is he doing to contribute to the lives of his children mentally, physically and spiritually?

Oh, we know where some daddies are, don't we?  Sometimes he is in the bed of his other woman or women.  Sometimes he is too busy making money to give a "you-know-what."  Other times he is at the bar, the club or just out in the street.  There are those times when he is working the field selling whatever to whoever or he is at the plant, the site or corporate office just doing his thing.  Meanwhile, his children are driving mama crazy with all their requests!  "Mama would you play with me?  Mama could you take me to the mall?  Mama when is daddy coming to get me?" 

When Mama drops the ball when trying to fulfill all her children's demands, she is considered "a bad mom."  I ask again, "Where is daddy?"  We all should be asking this question.

Daddy may be right there in the home, but this doesn't mean that daddy is doing anything with those kids, but maybe disciplining them.  "Take your...to bed!  Sit your...down!  If you come over here one more time..."  He is watching the game, his movie, listening to his music, talking on his cell phone, or out in the garage working on his car.  He has no time for kids and he isn't ashamed to tell you.  "I work all d*mn day!  I ain't got time for these children!  They better go somewhere and sit down and play!"  Daddy was raised by old school parents, "Children were made to be seen, but not heard."
So is daddy's lack of taking up time with the children really an issue of acting selfish?

There is something wrong when we have so many black males acting feminine.  The absentee father or overly macho dad plays a part in the effeminization of the black male.  Don't blame mama when Johnny is switching his tail and throwing up his hands!  There is also something wrong when we have daughters trying to act like sons.  His daughter is dressing like a boy, talking like boys and wishing she was a boy, uh oh!  So many fathers of these children blaming "their mama."  But what about you, brotha?  What are you doing or not doing?  That's your sissy son and Tomboy daughter you talk negatively about and then you want to blame their mama?! 

Fathers, are you really sitting down with your children on a regular basis teaching them life lessons or are you leaving it up to the schools and the local civic groups (which I might add are primarily run by non-blacks?) 

When I talked about this issue of some, once again not all, black men not spending time or playing with their children with men and women over the years, there were excuses.  Some said, "He's in jail, can't do anything when he's in jail.  He don't have any education.  He don't make much money.  He is busy doing other things.  He works all day.  He's tired."  The men that were in some of these women's lives got the pass on not taking time with the children, because he was a good provider.  "Hey, he brings home the money!  I'm not complaining," a mother of two told me once.  However, the men who weren't in the family's lives, didn't get a break.  "He was a no good $^%#!  Ignorant son of #$%^&!"  and whatever other name they could come up with.

I personally believe it is up to each father to seriously take a look at how much time he is spending doing other things on and away from the homefront as compared to how involved he is in his children's lives.  Children grow up fast!  They only ask parents to be a part of their world's for a time and then one day they aren't asking anymore.  They start not caring whether mom or dad shows up to their events.  Their progress in school starts to take a slow decline.  Before long, they start acting sneaky, lying and doing other things to get the attention from someone or some group since dad couldn't care less because his job, TV shows, his women, his friends or whatever else are more important. 

Nicholl McGuire
at
Labels:

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Search This Blog

Labels

a abortion about this blog about us absent fathers abuse abusive men abusive women adopted black children affirmative action africa african american african american achievers african american art african american audio books african american authors african american beauty african american bloggers african american books african american bookstores african american brothers african american business african american celebrities african american children african american chinese african american christian women african american christians african american churches african american clothing styles african american communities african american community african american cuisine african american culture african american dating african american dating sites african american deceivers african american dining african american documentaries african american drama african american drug dealers african american education african american elite african american entertainment african american family african american fathers african american friendships african american gamers african american genealogy african american gifts african american girls african american gods african american grandparents african american grants african american hair loss african american haircare african american hairstyles african american health issues african american heritage african american heterosexuality african american history african american holidays african american home owners african american homosexuality african american idols african american inventors african american korea african american lawyers african american leaders african american lifestyle african american magazines african american marriages african american media african american men african american mental illness african american ministers african american models african american mothers african american movies african american museums african american music african american music videos african american natural hair african american news african american occult african american online surfing african american opinion african american paintings African American parade african american parents african american photographers african american photography african american poets african american police officers african american political prisoners african american preachers African American producers african american prostitution african american radio shows african american relationships african american religion african american researchers african american russia african american samoan african american scholarships african american self-hate african american sex african american singles african american skin care african american skincare african american soldiers african american sons african american speakers african american spirituality african american statistics african american studies african american television networks african american thinking african american thoughts african american tips african american toys african american transhumanists african american travel african american voters african american wealth african american weaves african american wigs african american women african american women groups African American women in science african american women inventors african american workers african american writers african americans african americans and africans african americans jail african americans respect african americans workers african americans workplace african art african consciousness african decor african food african history ai tools american holidays ancestry anger management angry angry black man angry black woman angry black women angry blacks atlanta aunt tammy banks Barack Obama be encouraged bible big girls biracial people birth control bisexual black men black alliance for just immigration black american ignorance black american quotations black american racism black art websites black athletes black attitudes black business black celebrities black celebrity children black celebrity masons black cinema black conscious community black conscious women black dating services black dolls black education black elite groups black English people black family black feminists black grandmothers black greek organizations black history black history month black inventors black love black men black men and white women black music black national anthem black nationalism black panthers party black people and summer time black people attitude black preachers black racists black radio stations black scholars black singles black sitcoms black skin black stereotypes black toys black women blacks with an attitude blessings and curses blog owner boule boxer brainwashed blacks celebrities and god cheating childhood childless women children activities chris brown chris rock christina milian civil rights civil war cold-blooded african americans colorism communication communication skills community assistance confrontation construction in haiti constructive criticism contract with black america controlling black folks controlling men controlling women counselors crazy blacks crisis dark skin dating dating violence death deceased black legends depression difficult people disorders diversity domestic violence down low celebrities dreaming eastern stars economics educated blacks education elderly black folks employment entrepreneur eugenics exes experiences faith family history family issues family secrets fat african americans fearful blacks fema camps financial assistance first black president food stamps fools fraternal organizations free stuff freemasons french african friendships funeral planning funny african americans funny black man funny black people funny black woman funny stuff gay black men generational curses ghetto gifted african americans going green good black men gospel music gossip government Haiti haiti earthquake haiti fault line happiness harlem haters helpful links hidden medical experiments high blood pressure highly sensitive blacks hip hop culture hip hop fashion homosexuals honest black folk housing assistance how to approach a black woman how to get exposure on this site human trafficking hurricane relief ignorant black people illuminati insecure women inspiration internet dating interracial relationships israel jaguar wright jamaicans jealous men jealous women jealousy jobs juneteenth keep it real kwanzaa laboring to love an abusive mate liars light skin lottery loud mouth blacks love lust lynching make money manhood manipulative media manmade earthquakes martin luther king barack obama medicine memorial day menopause mental issues michael jackson michael jackson children mother michelle obama mike tyson mike tyson daughter military mind control minority women scholarships misogyny modern day slavery money moors motivation multiracial celebrities music lyrics music videos narcissism natural disasters negro spirituals nelson mandela nicole richie nonblack not african american Obama obama campaign Obama sworn in obese black people offended blacks old school overweight african americans paranoid paranormal passing for white patience patti labelle paula abdul peace pedophilia perimenopause poems police poor african americans population control positivity post traumatic slave syndrome postpartum depression poverty prayers prejudice prescriptions president barack obama president elect barack obama prideful prostate cancer and black men protests racial problems racism racist republicans rappers rb music groups reality shows recycling reggae music relationships relatives religion revenge reverse discrimination rhianna rich african americans samples and trials SARS scammers scams scandalous pastors scary blacks schizophrenia secret societies self esteem self hate self righteous senator barack obama sex sexual harassment shopping siblings skin bleaching skull and bones slavery social issues social networking society sociopaths sometimey black folks soul food spiritual african americans spiritual warfare sports state of the union address strange black folks stubbornness superstition surveys terri seymore the man threats tired black man tired black woman toxic parents travel trends twitter uncle tom unemotional unemployment ungrateful black folks voter privacy war whistleblowers white american racism white people wisdom women friends work at home youtubers
Creative Commons License
African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

Translate