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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Thursday

Educated, Opinionated, Prideful Black Person No Good Relationship, Unsatisfactory Job

"Your mouth will get you in trouble," growing up I heard this from adults who didn't mind whippin' a few behinds while cursing others to the point where a back-bone was non-existent.  These "old school" blacks frequently didn't take their own advice.  When I didn't like something, didn't want to go somewhere, or just felt irritable, I spoke up to parents and other relatives--sometimes with good reason and other times not so much.  Parents aren't meant to be a teenager's best friend and they definitely aren't always interested in what their children have to say (especially if just the other day the rebellious, loud mouth teen back-talked one too many times.)  I say these things, because the same holds true with bosses and employees.  No one likes or wants to keep the opinionated, "I just had to tell the truth...tell him off" type around--no one!  Oh sure, the listener will smile in your face for a time, share a secret or two, invite you out for a bite to eat, or even say a few nice things about you and your opinions, but he or she will always remember the way you made them feel "...that day when you said..."  Some seemingly nice people may never mention an over-the-top past incident, but it is in their memory banks to be processed at a later date usually when you have angered them yet again.

I personally believe that many non-blacks won't take a chance with a certain type of educated African American, the type who voices strong opinions, because they fear that sooner or later the truth will come out and attack them.  It's that cutting truth or feedback, that one, who thinks he or she is superior doesn't want to hear.  If you can often agree, go along with some lies, flatter, make them laugh, and say and do other things that avoid any truth or controversial talk that magnifies their weaknesses, you most likely will be okay with many nonspiritual, educated non-blacks as well as blacks who feel quite comfortable being everyone else but black.  The truth is that many of the soon-to-be old school, maturing African Americans aren't interested in keeping their mouths closed about too much of anything.  Many once acted very much like non-blacks to get ahead, but now in retirement years--they don't care what white people think of them or anyone else for that matter.  The know-it-all black person, who graduated from this school or that one or who has over 20 plus years in a certain industry, feels confident to speak up, speak out--say what he or she truly feels even to his or her own detriment.

Nowadays, the educated black isn't docile with his or her tongue like Aunt Tammy or Uncle Tom were back in their days.  In the past, African Americans stepped aside when a white person passed, used separate facilities and settled and shopped in areas that were poor and lacked resources compared to whites and other ethnicities.  The "good" black people did what they could to get along with their slave masters, whether on the field or in the house, for fear they would be killed by white-run organizations, burned out of their homes, churches, and businesses, left out on the streets homeless, raped, etc.

Blacks who have been given much, since the days of the Civil Rights Movement, feel that they have earned a right to talk to non-black men and women who hold their purse strings just like any other group.  Meanwhile, forgetting that the African American community doesn't have a very honest, reputable, or friendly reputation with many ethnicities from around the world--thanks to American white racism in addition to troubled blacks who could care less about the reputation and representation of the black community. 

An African American male or woman may get away with offensive talking and/or joking with a non-black for a time, like at a workplace, but sooner or later all that ignorant talking, blowing up, stupid story-telling, and name-calling catches up with him or her.  As much as some of our people would love to say, "It wasn't my mouth that got me in trouble, but my skin tone, my co-worker, the boss..." the truth is, it was all of the above!  Jenny wasn't really the friend you thought after you said what you said.  Bill really didn't have your back like you thought after you did what you did.  The group would have continued to forget you were a black woman or black man until you raised your voice and rolled your eyes.  But the educated, prideful African American will yell,  "Other people said the same thing and nothing happened...other people did the same thing and the reaction was cool, why me?"  Because you aren't "other people" child of God, black person, truth-teller, woman, man--you have a lot of strikes against you!  If you knew your worth, had you opened yourself up to wise counsel, read work to better you mentally and physically, maybe just maybe, you would have planned better for the future!

The braggadocios, educated, articulate speaking African American thinks he or she is invincible everywhere!  From the board room to the bedroom, "I'm not worried, I will have my job... My woman loves me, she will always be there...!"  Keep dreaming!  Consider this blog entry a warning if you have been repeatedly getting into trouble because you can't seem to put your foot in your mouth when you should!  

Some of our people believe that as long as they are friendly and funny, these individuals are in with a leader, a group, a family etc.!  Not necessarily.  As mentioned many times in this blog, racism is still very much in existence.  Maybe a lover might not be a racist, but what about the extended relatives?  Maybe a boss may appear to like your type, but what about his assistants?  It would make sense to protect yourself from any potential racial bias by noting dates and times you felt uneasy about a situation or something said at a workplace, before mouthing off at your enemy.  One in a challenging interracial relationship would want to think about saving money and putting a halt on joint investments in case the relationship takes an ugly turn rather than emotionally abusing a lover.

Systematically the boss, who doesn't forgive easily, will look for opportunities to let an employee repeatedly fail until he or she has to leave the group by force or voluntarily.  A team that is disgruntled with an opinionated worker will build a solid case against the "smart mouth" and hope that in the future he or she will learn a lesson or two.  If you are spiritual, you just might have experienced such a thing with your powerful Creator.  Even God grows weary of warning and bailing out troubled individuals who are often in some kind of mess! 

Some of you may have come across a few difficult people in your lives that just didn't seem to get a break from drama, because they didn't know how to say anything meaningful, kind or compassionate to keep love alive or keep a job.  Often mouthing off, usually at the wrong times, the prideful person has a loveless personal life, an unfulfilling job, and a tormented soul that is never truly happy. 

Relationships, running a business, raising a family, and more are challenging, but we have a choice to fight the challenges or embrace them.  Many black folks tend to look for the fight rather than the solution to their mounting burdens.  The argumentative type may win a war with words for the moment, but he or she loses out in the long run everything he or she holds near and dear.  Don't pity Sue, Sam, or Paul when a job is no more.  Don't offer your condolences when one loses his or her on again off again friend/foe, chances are the angry loved one helped put his relative or friend in the ground prematurely with all his or her mouthing.

One thing I am learning in my life's journey is that you can't truly be happy with anyone or anything if you can't get it together on the inside above everything else--you have to stop the chatterbox in your head sometimes--not everything is meant to be said! 

If all you see in people, places and things are the problems and are quick to say so, yet slow on giving the solutions, then don't wonder why folks look for ways to kick you (or someone you know) out of the club, the marriage, the job, and elsewhere.

Just something to think about.

Nicholl McGuire records spiritual musings and teachings on YouTube channel nmenterprise7.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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