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Wednesday

Tired, Lazy, Broke People

He wonders why his woman is going off on him.  "Is that all you know is the couch!  Get your a** up!  Why is it that every time I come home I have to wash dishes, cook, do the laundry...!" yells his wife. 

She is uncertain as to why her man is playing her like a fiddle.  "Do you know how long I have had to look at you with that ugly looking rag on your head?  Can't you do something else besides complain about this thing and that one! D*mn!" says her man.

His friends try to avoid him and he can't seem to put two and two together.  "Man, don't come over here asking for some money.  You owe us already...be gone!" his friends warn.

Tired, lazy, broke black folk acting as if they don't know "What's up?"  Telling mama, "I don't know why my man doesn't like me anymore..."  and a man complaining, "My girlfriend is on my back and I'm trying to figure her out..."  It's always the other person's fault!  Get a clue!  Our people know how to put on an act when they are in the wrong.  Some look for others to pity their situations and believe  their lies.  I hate to say it, but non-blacks and uninformed black folk will fall for the B.S.!

There is no excuse for being tired, lazy and broke all at the same time!  When one first noticed he or she was growing weary of whatever the situation, that was your sign to get out while you still could!  Laziness is a side effect of what happens when you stay in a miserable setting for far too long.  Then financial loss is the ultimate sign one is really doing bad and needs help like yesterday!

"His ex just doesn't get him..." the white girl reasons.  "I can help him out."  And how long will she be willing to do that?  A tired, lazy, and broke brotha will eventually be found out!  He can only sweet talk, seduce and lie to get his way with a gullible individual but for so long.  Oh, how he complained about the black woman's attitude, but he has yet to see when a scorned, white woman is fed up with his tired behind!

Sometimes when a broke man or woman feels like there is no getting ahead, without the need of someone (or group), he or she will make rash decisions--including running to the arms of people he or she wouldn't ordinarily date or consider an enemy, yet will make an exception in times of need.  Some will compromise personal beliefs just so that security may be received from a love interest or others.  It doesn't matter if the person is fat or skinny, rich or poor, black or white, tall or short just so long as the individual is giving the broke, busted and disgusted a little comfort during stressful times in their lives. 

Once a selfish person is on his or her feet, the eyes will roam and eventually the feet will follow.  He or she has little or no compassion for others and doesn't feel obligated to have to pay anyone back for his or her service especially if the one he or she has lived with was hard on him or her about being tired, lazy and broke.  Mama doesn't help when she is encouraging her son or daughter to dump the one who has fed this person for possibly years!  The individual, who was once down and out, might continue to take on that attitude of "What can you do for me?"rather than a "How can I help you?" thought process.

"I told you baby your wife is no good, but did you listen?  She should be supporting you during these hard times.  Is there anything that Mama can do for you?"  Baby boy just played his Mama for yet another handout by feeding into her negativity about his wife.  Is it any wonder that black love doesn't survive?  So many busybody relatives and friends in one's life will keep a tired, lazy and broke person in his or her condition.  As long as a Mama's Boy can get twenty dollars or twenty grand from Mama, he is going to keep taking!  His behavior continues with others in his circle until someone catches on that the man is nothing more than an adult child who needs to grow up!  However, he won't become a man as long as everyone continues to feed him everything from compliments to food.  He needs to be taught not enabled!  He needs to be discouraged from taking and encouraged to make. 

When will some of the miserable in our society learn?  Using people and excuses to cover up tired, lazy, and broke behavior will only cause more drama in the short and long terms.  With so many people losing their jobs and even more taking their time about handling their business, life around them will begin to collapse!  Women and men will argue, cheat, physically fight, be manipulative while children will learn from these disturbed adults.

One's support system, comprised of functional, educated folks, will not continue to put up with the following:  bad attitudes, excuses, reputations being attacked, requests for money, and more!  If there is anything a tired, broke or lazy black woman or man should remember is iron wears out!  Be mad at yourself when you enable such behavior.  If you are the one in the mental state discussed, do something that will make those around you appreciate your efforts rather than resent your existence!

Nicholl McGuire author of When Mothers Cry, Laboring to Love Myself, Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate and other books.

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