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This site was created by Nicholl McGuire, Inspirational Speaker and Author. Feel free to comment, share links and subscribe. If you have a business or would like to guest post feel free to contact. Check out topics on this blog and select what interests you. They are found at the bottom of this page. Peace and Love.

Wednesday

"I'm Not Asking, I'm Telling You to Go" When Relationships Take an Ugly Turn

He said that he loved her, would take care of her, and help his woman through a tough time, but his empty promises have left  her bitter.

She claimed that she was a good woman, and would appreciate her man, and love him, but it wasn't that long ago when she was spotted kissing another dude.

There comes a point when the threats of breaking up, become real!  "I'm not asking you to go, I'm telling you to!" a partner says.  There is no more hoping, praying, wishing, and waiting for someone to change, you just draw the line in the sand!  Enough is enough!  Yet, our people, that is black folks, will keep beating a dead horse so to speak.  Some will literally beat one another up!

For days, weeks, and even years, a couple will cut each other the eye, lie to one another, bad-mouth each other, and cheat, while still promising to be that "good man" or woman to one another.  The cycle of emotional and physical abuse goes around and around.  He hits her, he apologizes, then he treats her nicely for a time, and then they are back at it again.  "I hate you!  I wish your ugly a^* would just leave!  Stop coming around!  Go to that b*tch!  Leave me alone!"  Then the screaming match ends, both individuals separate for a time, and then one day they see one another.  "Hey, how you doing?  Looking good.  What you been up to?  How about we get together and catch up?"  The door is open then Crazy and Stupid get back together again while hoping relatives and friends give their blessings.

If this sounds like your relationship, sorry I don't mean to offend, but everybody needs a wake up call every now and then.  Someone in the maze of break up to make up has to stop the game-playing and ask one's self the hard questions, "What is wrong with me that I keep letting this person back in my life again?  Why do I believe what he/she tells me when I know that it is a lie?  Why do I feel the need to be with someone right now?  Is my life just that bad?  Can I do some things differently?"

Many educated African American men and women could do so well in life if they didn't have partners who were envious, bitter, broken, angry, and more.  Some of these couples are mentally disturbed.  Years of drug use have corrupted their minds and bodies.  So a person who is illogical, irrational, and ignorant is not someone who has a proper understanding of what a functional relationship looks like.  Sure, they might know how to pass a college exam, but when it comes to Relationship 101, they are dumb.  The only thing they can do is think of people they know or watch television shows to get some idea of what a healthy relationship looks like.  Then they attempt to emulate what they see and far too often their efforts are an epic failure!

When the time comes to have "the talk," be sure that if you are the one who is in a dysfunctional  relationship with a troubled individual that you are indeed ready to leave.  So many people end up creating even more drama for themselves, because they lead a partner on, they act as if they can be friends after being lovers for a time.  This doesn't work when someone is emotionally and physically tied to another to the point that they can't even give the person breathing room. 

Most people who are still in love with their partners will not act rationally at least not in the beginning of a break up, so prepare yourself.  It takes some time to get over someone, but the key is to get over, so you can move on!  "I'm not asking you, I'm telling you to leave...and I don't want you anymore--I mean it this time."  Let your actions, speak louder than your words.

Nicholl McGuire, see other writings here.  Listen to audio here.
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African American Planet: Relationships, Education, Products & Lifestyle by Nicholl McGuire is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at africanamericanplanet.blogspot.com.

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