Consider what the agenda might be of a loved one or friend who insists, "You don't go here...Stay there...Don't marry this one, choose that one...Buy that, put this one back...and Give me this and you keep that." Right away, you might recognize someone you know. But the agenda, what might it be? To get you to do what they want. Selfish, controlling, ignorant black folk on a mission to push you when it suits them and pull you back to them when it is convenient. Some will drive you far away, so much in fact that you never want to see certain relatives and friends again in life--nothing wrong with that!
Some of the most successful people in this world whose relatives said, "You will need me one day...no good will come to you if you forget about me..." funny, good stuff just keeps happening to the black sheep of the family.
Selfish, controlling people with little going on for themselves and far too much time on their hands to think about everyone else, work out plans in their heads to benefit them. They think of what they are going to say to you the next time you come around. Bring up the past whether what you said was good, bad or otherwise, they will comment, suggest, advise, and hopefully control you in a way that you will feel obligated or guilty to do something for them while reminding you of their titles.
Holidays can bring the worst out in ignorant black folk who are still mad about one thing or another. Knowing that they are to be on their best behavior in front of certain family and friends (you know the ones they think they might get something from), they will talk in a way that sounds like they respect thoughts/beliefs/plans/decisions when they really don't. Sooner or later someone will reveal the truth about Mama, Auntie and Unc's sudden interest in you.
When one desires to break from toxic relatives, pushy friends, and everyone else in between who is controlling, the main thing you don't do is cave into the pressure. You don't go back to family when you really don't want to go back. You don't argue with them over something you know is meant to get you to react. You allow space and your desire to be free from negative situations to motivate you to do something different in your life. Before long, you won't have to worry anymore about petty people and petty things!
Nicholl McGuire author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
Some of the most successful people in this world whose relatives said, "You will need me one day...no good will come to you if you forget about me..." funny, good stuff just keeps happening to the black sheep of the family.
Selfish, controlling people with little going on for themselves and far too much time on their hands to think about everyone else, work out plans in their heads to benefit them. They think of what they are going to say to you the next time you come around. Bring up the past whether what you said was good, bad or otherwise, they will comment, suggest, advise, and hopefully control you in a way that you will feel obligated or guilty to do something for them while reminding you of their titles.
Holidays can bring the worst out in ignorant black folk who are still mad about one thing or another. Knowing that they are to be on their best behavior in front of certain family and friends (you know the ones they think they might get something from), they will talk in a way that sounds like they respect thoughts/beliefs/plans/decisions when they really don't. Sooner or later someone will reveal the truth about Mama, Auntie and Unc's sudden interest in you.
When one desires to break from toxic relatives, pushy friends, and everyone else in between who is controlling, the main thing you don't do is cave into the pressure. You don't go back to family when you really don't want to go back. You don't argue with them over something you know is meant to get you to react. You allow space and your desire to be free from negative situations to motivate you to do something different in your life. Before long, you won't have to worry anymore about petty people and petty things!
Nicholl McGuire author of Know Your Enemy: The Christian's Critic
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